runesmithie Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 After seeing all of the Chuck Norris facts out there I thought TIF would like to have a thread to post our favorites! Please keep this G-rated. That means no sexual content, general disturbing facts, facts that will lower our IQ, and/or excessively violent facts. If you are new to Chuck Norris, here are some sites to enlighten you (they may have some R rated content so be forewarned): http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com http://www.4q.cc/chuck/ Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. I just posted something! ^_^ to the terrorist...er... kirbybeam. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocketman089 Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 Hahaha, we were just talking about Chuck Norris jokes today in school :lol: . I like the one that goes something like "Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a man so fast his foot broke the time barrier and killed Emilia Earhart over the pacific ocean". Gamertag: King Arizona Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yummy_kids Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 i hate conan for making a bunch of idiots think chuck norris is cool/funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
runesmithie Posted January 15, 2006 Author Share Posted January 15, 2006 i hate conan for making a bunch of idiots think chuck norris is cool/funny Trust me, the jokes *are* funny ;) I just posted something! ^_^ to the terrorist...er... kirbybeam. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yummy_kids Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 yes i know some are funny but most are just boring ones about roundhouse kicks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Necromagus Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 Chuck sold out :cry: My Tip.It Times Articles (10 and counting) || The Varrock Library Author Index projectDo you dare to dream? - Part 19 added. || The Hospital (WIP) - New story!Necromagus looks like a viking ... with glasses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yummy_kids Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 rofl you know some kid is gonna buy them thinking these jokes are real Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barking-Loon Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink. Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear. :lol: A recent study shows that 92% of all teenagers have small purple pet elephants named Jack. Put this in your sig if you are one of the 8% who like to do the fandango on Wednesday afternoons Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weezcake Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg. :wink: ==================================Retired tip.it moderator.Teaching and inspiring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faux Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 MacGyver > Vin = Chuck MacGyver spelled backwards is "MacGyver". If you got revyGcaM you did it wrong. :: Guess the Movie Contest Champion: pfilc23 :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunwarriord Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably. Rofl. Great stuff. Who's chuck norris? :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Putter Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably. Rofl. Great stuff. Who's chuck norris? :) Chuck Norris is Walker Texas Ranger...A show where he ends up whoopin people all the time. He's also apparently a real-life master of Martial Arts. Here's one my my favs: Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. My other favs that come to mind aren't apprpriate :(. i hate conan for making a bunch of idiots think chuck norris is cool/funnyHe is cool. He's a master of martial arts...He repeatedly owned people on his show, his tears cure cancer...what else do you want? Has anyone else seen him on Yes, Dear? He knocks out like a bar full of guys. It is excellent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
logic-is-overrated Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 He is cool. He's a master of martial arts...He repeatedly owned people on his show, his tears cure cancer...what else do you want?Exactly. He's like Rambo for t.v. This is the way the world ends. Look at this [bleep]ing shit we're in man. Not with a bang, but with a whimper. And with a whimper, I'm splitting, Jack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 Hey, pretty sure I posted these in darkwebz months ago and you guys didnt' even get it. Nice to see you have to wait for the whole bandwagon to jump on :roll: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danabis Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 Hey, pretty sure I posted these in darkwebz months ago and you guys didnt' even get it. Nice to see you have to wait for the whole bandwagon to jump on :roll: You've only started two threads on the darkwebz forums, neither of them was about Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris will get you for that. Dreaming of that face againIt's bright, and blue, and shimmeringGrinning wideAnd comforting me with it's three warm and wild eyes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knives669 Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he's never cried. After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane". Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. Video did not kill the radio star, Chuck Norris did. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. Chuck Norris can be divided by zero. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. President Bush DID have a sure fire plan to end the war in Iraq, However Chuck Norris was busy that day. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. These make me laugh so hard! :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
assassin_696 Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter Chuck Norris is the only human to ever beat a brick wall in a game of tennis :lol: "Da mihi castitatem et continentam, sed noli modo" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 Hey, pretty sure I posted these in darkwebz months ago and you guys didnt' even get it. Nice to see you have to wait for the whole bandwagon to jump on :roll: You've only started two threads on the darkwebz forums, neither of them was about Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris will get you for that. Posted in the chat multiple times. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/01/02/AR2006010200282.html appears the washington post has caught on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faux Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 Hey, pretty sure I posted these in darkwebz months ago and you guys didnt' even get it. Nice to see you have to wait for the whole bandwagon to jump on :roll: The only one I remember pasting these stuff was Phil, though he was more into Vin Diesel than Chuck Norris. :: Guess the Movie Contest Champion: pfilc23 :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 Hey, pretty sure I posted these in darkwebz months ago and you guys didnt' even get it. Nice to see you have to wait for the whole bandwagon to jump on :roll: The only one I remember pasting these stuff was Phil, though he was more into Vin Diesel than Chuck Norris. Pretty sure it was before your time ;). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faux Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 Hey, pretty sure I posted these in darkwebz months ago and you guys didnt' even get it. Nice to see you have to wait for the whole bandwagon to jump on :roll: The only one I remember pasting these stuff was Phil, though he was more into Vin Diesel than Chuck Norris. Pretty sure it was before your time ;). I can swear I was there before you :o :: Guess the Movie Contest Champion: pfilc23 :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LP Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 Chuck Norris does NOT agree with Dr. Phil. lame i know.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 Hey, pretty sure I posted these in darkwebz months ago and you guys didnt' even get it. Nice to see you have to wait for the whole bandwagon to jump on :roll: The only one I remember pasting these stuff was Phil, though he was more into Vin Diesel than Chuck Norris. Pretty sure it was before your time ;). I can swear I was there before you :o This will be the last post of this type :P. No, I was there for a while and then left and when I came back you were there :P. So this was during the first period in which you hadn't started coming yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faux Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 Hey, pretty sure I posted these in darkwebz months ago and you guys didnt' even get it. Nice to see you have to wait for the whole bandwagon to jump on :roll: The only one I remember pasting these stuff was Phil, though he was more into Vin Diesel than Chuck Norris. Pretty sure it was before your time ;). I can swear I was there before you :o This will be the last post of this type :P. No, I was there for a while and then left and when I came back you were there :P. So this was during the first period in which you hadn't started coming yet. First period dont count [bleep] :P :: Guess the Movie Contest Champion: pfilc23 :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dogtag_dez Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter lmao. and LOL, the Mr. T ones like these are hilarious. :lol: One night Mr. T took a 10 p.m. train home. He still refuses to give it back. When Mr. T received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made his hand prints after the cement was dry. God was able to create the world in seven days only because he had the aid of Mr. T, a blow torch, and a musical montage. Mr. T once entered a Hot Dog eating contest. He ate a record 93 hot dogs, a 72 oz. steak, two pedestrians, a streetlamp, and a judge who called him "that guy from the A-Team". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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