krunkthemonk Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 This is the first time I've LOL'd on the forums since I can remember. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history. Good ole Chuck Norris. *Roundhouse kicks computer* The problem with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerocool11 Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 Bruce Lee > Chuck Norris :twisted: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antrune Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Who/What is this chuck norris person? :? And no lol why do you always want to get stuff from John Lewis. Its over ̣̉300 more then than what i paid. John Lewis is a great, great shop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerocool11 Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Famous Martial Arts Champion who did movies and TV shows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knives669 Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Who/What is this chuck norris person? :? He's been in a few movies, plus his show, Walker Texas Ranger is pretty well known. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocketman089 Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Who/What is this chuck norris person? :? A has-been. Gamertag: King Arizona Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barihawk Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Song: The Ultimate Showdown Where to find: Winamp, google VGamp radio and request it from the Miscellanious folder Lyrics: Old Godzilla was hopping around Tokyo City like a big playground when suddenly Batman burst from the shade and hit Godzilla with a Batgrenade Godzilla got pissed and began to attack but didn't expect to be blocked by Shaq who proceeded to open up a can of Shaq Fu when Aaron Carter came out of the blue and he started beating up Shaquille O'Neal then they both got flattened by the Batmobile but before it could make it back to the Batcave Abraham Lincoln popped out of his grave and took an AK47 out from under his hat and blew Batman away with a rat-a-tat-tat but he ran out of bullets and he ran away because Optimus Prime came to save the day this is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see and only one will survive, I wonder who it will be this is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny Godzilla took a bite out of Optimus Prime like Scruff McGruff took a bite out of crime and then Shaq came back covered in a tire track but Jackie Chan jumped out and landed on his back and Batman was injured, and trying to get steady when Abraham Lincoln came back with a machete but suddenly something caught his leg and he tripped Indiana Jones took him out with his whip then he saw Godzilla sneaking up from behind and he reached for his gun which he just couldn't find 'cause Batman stole it and he shot and he missed and Jackie Chan deflected it with his fist then he jumped in the air and did a summersault while Abraham Lincoln tried to pole vault onto Optimus Prime, but they collided in the air then they both got hit by a Care Bear Stare, oooh this is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see and only one will survive, I wonder who it will be this is the Ultimate Showdown... angels sang out in immaculate chorus down from the heavens descended Chuck Norris who deliver a kick which could shatter bones into the crotch of Indiana Jones who fell over on the ground, writhing in pain as Batman changed back into Bruce Wayne but Chuck saw through his clever disguise and he crushed Batman's head in between his thighs then Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White and "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"'s Black Knight and Benito Mussolini and The Blue Meanie and Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie Robocop, the Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan all came out of no where lightning fast and they kicked Chuck Norris in his cowboy [wagon] it was the bloodiest battle the world ever saw with civilians looking on total awe and the fight raged on for a century many lives were claimed, but eventually the champion stood, the rest saw their better: Mr. Rogers in a bloodstained sweater this is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see and only one will survive, I wonder who it will be this is the Ultimate Showdown... this is the Ultimate Showdown... this is the Ultimate Showdown... of Ultimate Destiny My heart is broken by the terrible loss I have sustained in my old friends and companions and my poor soldiers. Believe me, nothing except a battle lost can be half so melancholy as a battle won. -Sir Arthur Wellesley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
logic-is-overrated Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 a Care Bear StareCuddly loveable cute bears staring at you would be freaky. This is the way the world ends. Look at this [bleep]ing shit we're in man. Not with a bang, but with a whimper. And with a whimper, I'm splitting, Jack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dark_ice Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Ya'll better pray Chuck doesn't check these forums! He's gonna whoop some bootay if he reads this stuff. Dont hurt me Chuck :oops: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panix Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Chuck Norris sucked back in the day and he sucks now. Those lists aren't that funny. :? Panix - /server -j #runescape irc.efnet.org-NOT EVEN DOOM MUSIC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Putter Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Oh yea, did you guys know Chuck Norris is 65 years old? He still roundhouse kicks as if he's 25. This is true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faux Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid ... 7734467560 :lol: :lol: :: Guess the Movie Contest Champion: pfilc23 :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Ya'll better pray Chuck doesn't check these forums! He's gonna whoop some bootay if he reads this stuff. Dont hurt me Chuck :oops: I've lost the link but it was on the official Chuck Norris site that he had seen the facts and didn't mind them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WutangFlu Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 "There is no theory of evolution... just a list of things Chuck Norris allows to live." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krunkthemonk Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 I've lost the link but it was on the official Chuck Norris site that he had seen the facts and didn't mind them. IN RESPONSE TO THE "RANDOM FACTS" THAT ARE BEING GENERATED ON THE INTERNET I'm aware of the made up declarations about me that have recently begun to appear on the Internet and in emails as "Chuck Norris facts." I've seen some of them. Some are funny. Some are pretty far out. Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I'm not quite sure what to make of it. It's quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. Who knows, maybe these made up one-liners will prompt young people to seek out the real facts as found in my recent autobiographical book, "Against All Odds?" They may even be interested enough to check out my novels set in the Old West, "The Justice Riders," released this month. I'm very proud of these literary efforts. ~ Chuck Norris http://www.chucknorris.com/html/events.aspx?type=1 The problem with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
runesmithie Posted January 16, 2006 Author Share Posted January 16, 2006 Ya'll better pray Chuck doesn't check these forums! He's gonna whoop some bootay if he reads this stuff. Dont hurt me Chuck :oops: I've lost the link but it was on the official Chuck Norris site that he had seen the facts and didn't mind them. I think necro posted a picture of it I just posted something! ^_^ to the terrorist...er... kirbybeam. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knives669 Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Chuck Norris sucked back in the day and he sucks now. Those lists aren't that funny. :? *hides behind this guy* HE SAID IT! Don't hurt me, Chuck... :? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quer_Skulll Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 I've lost the link but it was on the official Chuck Norris site that he had seen the facts and didn't mind them. IN RESPONSE TO THE "RANDOM FACTS" THAT ARE BEING GENERATED ON THE INTERNET I'm aware of the made up declarations about me that have recently begun to appear on the Internet and in emails as "Chuck Norris facts." I've seen some of them. Some are funny. Some are pretty far out. Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I'm not quite sure what to make of it. It's quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. Who knows, maybe these made up one-liners will prompt young people to seek out the real facts as found in my recent autobiographical book, "Against All Odds?" They may even be interested enough to check out my novels set in the Old West, "The Justice Riders," released this month. I'm very proud of these literary efforts. ~ Chuck Norris http://www.chucknorris.com/html/events.aspx?type=1 is it just me or did he turn a comment towards the random facts into an advertisement :shock: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete_the_Viscous Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Chuck Norris is so baddass that he doesn't need subtlety -- he roundhouse kicks the advertisement home. I don't think this is anything bad, mind you. Not that I'm going to buy whatever it was -- his book/s -- but I would never have heard of them otherwise; this might give them a chance. deviantart account Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cadburys_egg Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg. :wink: Should I be worried? :( /me hides anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Escape5 Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 When Chuck Norris falls in water, he doesnt get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killer_stone Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huge Noob Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he's never cried. After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane". Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. Video did not kill the radio star, Chuck Norris did. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. Chuck Norris can be divided by zero. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. President Bush DID have a sure fire plan to end the war in Iraq, However Chuck Norris was busy that day. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. These make me laugh so hard! :lol: :lol: :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lionheart_0 Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 Me and a few friends from school have made a club called the CNASF. SNASF stands for :Chuck Norris Anti-Simon Force. We are dedicated to stoping the coming dictatorship which is one of my classmates. hahahah we will not rule all of canada! Sig by IkuraiYour Guide to Posting! Behave or I will send my Moose mounted Beaver launchers at you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete_the_Viscous Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 I think my computing teacher looks a bit like Chuck Norris. Look hyar -- http://img508.imageshack.us/img508/8868/robchuck7kf.gif deviantart account Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now