TTanT

I'm not an expert on arthropods, but.... Not eating for 5 weekss? Not moving for 5 days? I'm pretty sure that sentence is an anagram for "DEAD. DEAD. NOT LIVING. IT IS GONE INTO THE AFTERLIFE." Well, give and take a few consonants and vowels.

>Dead tarantulas >Biting humans Unlikely.

So I asked her out and got very gently shot down. However, asking her out came far more easily and naturally (I did it in the middle of a crowded hallway while we were walking because that was a convenient time), and being shot down was more disappointing than anything. Not bad at all, in other words. ...Why did I used to be afraid of this? In other words Imay be coming back here for advice when it coems toa sking girls out very little, because I've proven to myself I can handle it. (Although I think i rushed asking ehr out too much this time, and should've paced it better that's another story altogether.) However, I do have one question: After her telling me how great of a guy I was and that she just wasn't looking for a relationship right now (the cliché story, really) I responded that it was fine and I was just glad that I got it off my chest ratehr than letting it simmer. (At which point she referenced an AP English book and we shared an awkward laugh-thing.) Then she asked if I wanted to meet up with her at prom. And therein lies my question. What does that mean? Dates? Dates as friends? A casual "I'll see you at prom?" (That last one would be oddly timed in that context.) I'm tempted to ask her what she meant, but I didn't think to then as I was mostly busy being bemused at actually being turned down (which my cocky side didn't expect at all). And I don't want to go running up to her to ask what the heck she meant tomorrow or something because I don't want to be that guy who gets shot down by a girl and then doesn't leave her alone about stuff. But I also don't want to have accidentally agreed to something (well, I said "possibly", but still) and then renege on it. However, assuming that issue resolves itself I feel pretty good right now. I've got a new haircut that mostly everyone agrees suits me well, including a female friend of mine who considers me to be totally unattractive (I'm more or less the polar opposite of her type) and now know that asking girls out isn't a big deal. In other words the enxt time I start developing feelings of that anture I can act on them without fear or anything. Which is refreshing. I've been stung by the bee, and it wasn't as bad as I'd thought. To the guy who's trying to get the guts to ask a girl out: JUST. DO. IT. Trust me. I was that guy once. I know what being the coward who can't bring himself to speak his feelings is like as I was that guy for a long time. Even if she says no it's better to clear the air. Ask. Her. Out. tl;dr I ramble a lot about how getting rejected isn't as bad as I thought it'd be. Also read my post you lazy [bleep]. Edit: Also my ex semi-asked me back out this morning before I asked that girl out. I said no because as I put it "You've had moments where you started liking me again before, but because the underlying issues won't go away you'll just end up dumping me again. You;ve already asked other guys out, so I'm going to do the same."* Good decision? *Probably not how I said it exactly as I word things differently when typing than when talking.

->07 September 06 So are y- #-o

Don't think, just do. Even if it's only "Do you want to go out with me?" that you ask, tyring to go by a script will just make you crash and burn if you're nervous. If she already likes you then if you stutter and make a fool of yourself she'll probably find it cute. If she doesn't like you at all the answer'll be the same regardless of clever wording. Just remember this: Asking soon and finding out is better than another day spent being tormented by doubt. And being rejected won't hrut nearly as bad as you think it will. It's like a bee sting. You flip out because you don't wanna be stung, then you get stung and it's entirely bearable. Yet the enxt time a bee coems around you freak out again. ...If anyone mentions Japanese Giant Hornets I swear I will injure you. In other news I recently found out that the girl I'm going to ask out has an over-protective dad. [bleep]. My last girlfriend had one of those and I accidentally amde him hate me forever. So, hopefully this time I step more carefully.

She's most likely single (I didn't get a definite answer, but people seem to think she is), so I'm going for it tomorrow. I would've today but I barely saw her. Also I brought the way of asking a girl out up to some friends of mine and they agree it is a 100% chance of success. Walk up to the girl and cut off a chunk of your masculine biceps, and throw it at her. Instant lay.

I've come to this decision: I'm just going to ask this girl out, even though it's been a bit less than a month sicne I broke up with my last girlfriend, because: 1->My ex definitely shouldn't have an issue with it as she's practically been my wingman lately. 2->I don't want to fall back into what I was before my alst relationship, which was that guy who's too terrified to tell his interests his feelings. So tomorrow I'm going to snoop around so that I know whether or not she's actually dating someone (she's very quiet about such thigns, but I'm pretty sure she isn't). If she is I'll abort of course, but I'm hoping she isn't. And then either tomorrow right after that or Thursday/Friday I'll ask her out, despending when an opportuntiy presents itself. Figuring my chances are good because: -She also gives me a smile in reply when I nod to her (how I say "hello" to people in busy hallways). -When I had to make a U-turn while walking with her because I had to get some papers from my ex (yeah I know dumb move) she did a double take that I inetrpreted as disappointment/jealousy. I could be 100% wrong and it may've just been confusion, but I'll find that out by asking her out. -We've held several conversations (albeit brief ones) last week because we were working on projects in the computer lab. She humored my ramblings on how I was going to write about the Rwandan Genocide, and asked me for adive on her paper as well. There was also other stuff but I'm tired and can't remember it. So yeah, the evidence is all circumstantial but I've always been the type to overanalyze. Whether she says yea or nay, I'll be more at peace with a definite answer than doubts and cowardice. ...Now just to hope I don't kill the asking out process like I did last time I asked a girl out. (I literally said it in such a faster gargle that she didn't udnerstand a word of it and I had to restate it, and was shaking the entire time. I can't believe she said yes after that. :wall: Regardless, I think I'm more confident with that stuff now, but we'll see.) Pretty much my only worry is that since she doesn't have a Facebook she may not of heard of me breaking up with my ex. It'd probably destroy my chances if ehr reply to me asking her out was: "Aren't you dating ____?" "Oh, no we broke up a month ago! Err, uhh, so, answer? " I REALLY hope that doesn't happen. Oh, and a final thing: Business cards are great initiations for flirting. I've got Business cards for the karate studio I go to that have my name, the studio info, and designate me as an instructor and a 1st degree black belt. Provided I present it right it can serve as a wodnerful... trump card. 8-) YEEEAHHHHHHH

"Since they were kids up until they were teenagers, the boy asks the girl what the ribbon is for, but the girl wouldn't answer." ... "Since they were kids up until they were teenagers"

I'd recommend finding someone else/ going alone. Going alone would be more fun than going with a person who you have one-sided feelings for, and then you can still flirt and such. @Happynooblet: Try to hang out with her alone, and if that fails then tell them to cut it out. Or even better, do both in that order. And @my issue: RPG, your suggestion helped a bit because something simialr to that HAD been running around the back of my head. And your brash mentioning of it helped me acknowledge it. So yeah, I'm going to avoid dating anyone for a while later (until at least a month/ two months post-breakup),a nd after that anything'll go pretty much. But I'm going to try to put an end to the friends with benefits stuff tomorrow when I see her, as I have a feeling it won't end well. However, I may end up asking out that girl I've developed minor feelings for after that time period has elapsed. Assuming she's single. And that what I'm feeling for her at this moment isn't rebound. For now though I'm just stepping back and letting rationality set back in for a bit. Good idea Y/N?

I've pretty much abandoned TiF for a while, because of a bunch of other real life things making me move on. I was never that well-known of a community member though, so I doubt it was much of an issue. :wink: However, I figure I'll give a basic rendition of my past few months for the heck of it: -I've decided my career goal is to open and run a karate studio. I've talked to my karate instructor about it and he's agreed to give me a bit of a crash course in the ins and outs of running one, and also has given me a job as an instructor at my current studio. So I'm making ~ $90 a month for 2-4 hours work a week and getting teaching experience to boot. -Due to the above, I'm going to be majoring in business management, something that I would never have even guessed a year ago. So, despite some recent drama having occurred in my life as far as relationships are concerned, I finally have a goal career-wise. It feels good, although the idea of running a business by myself is a bit frightening if I'm going to be honest. Even if it will be at least four years away, if not more. In other news, I'm slowly making an armory. I got a stainless steel chainmail vest for my last birthday, and a pair of steel gauntlets for Christmas. I'm considering a pair of sabatons (steel boots) as my next addition. By my calculations I'll have full protection in 2-3 years, and full armor is 5-7 (assuming nothing interrupts this, which soemthing probably will). Then I just need to train my defence level to 5. He referenced what!? Not in my OT!

Welp, my girlfriend and I broke up, and for good this time. Below is a massive rambling wall of text which was written partially so that i could organize my own head. Skip it for the TL;DR [hide=Drama] It was about as good natured as a break as either of us could have hoped for, and we still intend to be great friends. However, it still sucks if I'm going to be honest. I expected her to want to break up with me again, so I was mentally prepared for it. However, some of the crap that's come up for since is making moving on hard as hell. ->Long talk after, she admits the following throughout it: -She's still attracted to me -She's only breaking up with me because "There's no chance of it working." (This fatalistic attitude comes from her parents being staunchly against it, and her not wanting to/ not understanding she can just ignore that once she's an adult.) -There're other guys she likes but she doubts they'll want to date her. (She asked one of them out a bit after this conversation and was shot down.) However she doubts she'll ever end up being in another relationship, and if I egt into another relationship she admits she'll be jealous, although she claims she'll be jealous of me having a happy relationship when she doesn't, rather than of the girl for dating me. Then at the end of this talk we end up having phone sex (well, not actually through a phone, but through what were basically phones). This made me think that she'd end up wanting me back relatively quickly, but on Monday she seemed against it. So about a week later when we had a chess meet and thus some time in a deserted hallway, I took my chance to try a test: kissing her. She kissed me back and reprimanded me only jokingly (and about stuff like how we could've been seen, no less). On the bus ride home from the chess meet we furtively held hands. So I told her on the day after that that we definitely needed to talk, and she agreed. We were either going to A: Talk online this weekend if she could sneak it, or B: talk after school on Monday. So now we're in the weekend, and the side account she'd used to message me was just disabled (I learned this when I logged into it to see why its profile picture disappeared and Facebook congratulated me for reactivating it). So now I'm as confused as all hell. -Did she delete the account? if so, why? Or did her parents delete it, in which case, how badly is she grounded and how will that affect things? -Are we just friends with benefits, or does she want something more and is stuck in indecision? I'll get some form of answers to those on Monday, but I figured I'd post here to organize my thoughts and maybe get some good advice. And one final thing: The day after she broke up with me I was considering who I'd try to date next to help myself get over her. However, now I find myself crushing/liking another girl who may or may not like me, and stuck in a rather crappy combination of emotions. I have a bit of irrational guilt as if I'm cheating because of 2 years of "NO DON'T THINK OF OTHER GIRLS THAT WAY" mental reflex, along with rises and falls in between confidence "She'd totally date me" and pessimism "She's way out of your league, and what do you even know about her?" So yeah, advice on getting out of good boyfriend habits would help as well. They're not very good for considering partners, which is something that'll likely be an issue coming up (I honestly doubt my ex wants anything more serious than best friend with benefits). Also, how does Friends with benefits work, morality wise? I mean, I'm fine with it as a concept, but never considered it seriously as I never expected my self to have/be one. Does one simply be with said friend w/ benefits while in between partners, only to drop them when you find a serious relationship? And where is the line where you cut it off the benefits? The first date (seems like a dick move to me)? When you start thinking about another person seriously? Some middle ground? I'm just fishing for opinions from people who have actually dealt with this to help me claw my way through this moral fog. Because honestly I've never been had my ethics challenged and confused more than they have been by this situation. That's probably a lot more of an issue for me than the oneitis. I have that, but know the steps to deal with it. Ethical conundrums however screw me up. [/hide] TL;DR Girlfriend broke up with me, we're still good friends. We kissed post break-up and so I don't know where we are. Meanwhile I'd been looking at other girls because I figured i should get over her, and now I've fallen for one a little, maybe. But now after that kiss everything hard to figure out a crap. What are the general rules of ethicalness when it comes to Friends with benefits and normal relationships? (Obviously don't have both at once, but beyond that?) And how does one get rid of old habits like knee jerk reactions to avoid flirting too much, and more or less auto-friend zoning because youre in a relationship? EDIT: And I'm definitely not open-minded enough to consider any form of polygamy. One day I might (I'm not discounting it because I can't predict for how I'll change), but right now it'd go against my values directly. And my values are confused enough as is right now.

you're placed in a room with said parent, hitler, and santorum. no escape. one bullet loaded in a pistol. who do you shoot? Shoot Santorum, and pistol whip the parent to death.* Hitler's skeletal corpse shouldn't be much of a danger to society. *If parent is skilled at close combat, then shoot parent and pistol whip Santorum. And here's some absolutely wonderful fanart made for a Facebook page:

^That was fun as hell to mess around with, though. I submitted this old picture to it: [hide=NSFW Due to Sheer Beauty][/hide]

Now if only it was a shiny ralts on the first piece of grass you stood on. And then it got ko'd in the first battle he used it in.

Typing a really long response, then deleting it ebcause I realized it wasn't helpful at all.

Finally getting an acceptance letter from a college. So much relief. (And moreso one that I really wanted to go to.)

My school's prom will probably have dubstep playing at it.... :unsure: OT: I'm considering buying a $17 Charizard watch. It's between that and a Zekrom one. What's better, awesomeness of desgin on watch or apparent trustworthyness of watch strap? I'm pretty much figuring that I can always replace the watch strap so I'll go with the design. Also, how does one figure out if a poorly known seller's website is legitimate and trustworthy? (Googling them turned up pretty much nothing and they don't have a forum/comments section so my main methods are gone.) Edit: I've also decided to be more active here. I've missed this palce.

So I need a haircut, and you guys seem to give good advice on that stuff. Have any haircut suggestions? (I'm the guy in the picture, I would've used one with just me, but this was the first photo of me I could find that ahd good lighting.)

^bestfriend, bestfriend? I can't really say that I understand what you meant there. Rather amusing confession: I get nosebleeds a lot. Like once I get a single one I'll be getting them every day for a week or two. Which leads to situations like me egtting a nosebleed while making out with my girlfriend. She then teases me for the next week at how I must've been thinking perverted thoughts. At a later date I ended up getting a nosebleed while giving her oral. THAT was awkward. I also once got a nsoebleed while showering. I didn't notice it because my face was already wet, then I look down and my entire chest is covered in blood. :ohnoes:

So I decided to screw it all and try soemthing different when she decided to talk to me via phone (well technically Pokemon voicechat, but hey). I pretty much tried to be as teasing and such as possible, and learned several things. 1: She still liked me a lot, just "as a best friend" 2: She'd be willing to be friends with benefits with me (which is odd for her character, as she's nothing if not reserved, and defintiely associates sex with love heavily). There are obvious issues when this is considered with number 1. 3: She had no intention of dating anyone else, nor had anyone in her eye. So the next day I showed up to school with the following things in mind: FWB+BF=significant other, according to my mental math. And obviously she hadn't given her full reasons for ending the relationship. So I took some of the advice I'd read on this thread over the ages and played the teasing, "push pull" effects off as well as I could. Towards the end of the day we even got into a grappling fight (we both take martial arts, and I gave her 5 tries to try to take me down then took her down when she failed). At the end of the day we talked again, and she basically confessed that her motivations were that she didn't want to be with anyone. Knowing that she has had major self-esteem issues in the past, I made the connection. We talked for a while longer and then got cut off before I could finish my attempt to boost her self-esteem and find out if that was truely the cause. So I went to bed pretty much sure the relationship was done for. Getting at school I was getting ready to mvoe my stuff out of her locker when she said "I don't think you'll have to do that." It flew entirely over my head at first, but then it clicked. And yeah, we're back togetehr now (since yesterday) and things are running smoothly again. I hoenstly have no clue which thing I did caused this, but will probably ask her why she changed her mind later. My hopeful guess though was that the combination of treating the relationship ending as her loss with pointing out to her how FWB who are BFs are basically dating at that point (especially if neither of them are the polygamous sort) finally worked its way through to her. Either way I'll find out her reasoning later. So yeah, assuming she doesn't flip around again we're at a happy ending here. And thanks for this thread guys, since without the stuff I've learned from it long-term I wouldn't have known half the stuff I did about this situation.

Th best part about being a guy with a gay guy as his best friend? Great haircut advice. And I'm not even joking, he's a lifesaver.

Well, I've exercised and showered and pretty much cleared my head, and I think I'm feeling a lot more rational now. I'm probably going to end it tomorrow, and try to use this as an opportuntiy to transform myself a bit. (Aka do more homework, practice karate more, and get a better hairstyle because I'm due for a haircut.) I figure the shock of being single after two years will help with that stuff some if I channel it right. I've pretty much resolved to end the trial period early tomorrow. The only hard part will be getting over her while staying friends (which I want to do, even on an entirely non-romantic level, judging that she knows more about me than basically anyone). In other news, I still suck at typing and had to correct no less than eight typoes from that message.

You seem to have got too clingy ("Failing to message me/Refusing to kiss me".) No, she has made it clear she wants out, not worth trying to save. Eh, I was a bit clingy but had been for the entirety of the relationship and so had she. But I kinda see your point.

Semi-question semi-venting: So my girlfriend of two years dropped the bomb in a rather unpleasant way today. She'd been getting more and more distant lately, failing to message me and refusing to kiss me between classes. I was egtting really annoyed at this, and ask half-jokingly "Do you still want to be with me?" Or soemthing along those lines. She answered no. We've agreed on a week long "trial epriod" to make certain she's sure, but I doubt anything sis rue and I may just cut it off tomorrow so as to make recovery faster and such (but likely not, I'm anything but logical with this stuff). So yeah, I think I already know the answer to this, but should I try to save the relationship? Or let it go and move on? I tried not to egt too angsty with this psot, but I'm feeling angsty so eh. I apologize for any typoes but I'm not in the mood to fix them right now. I will later.

On a scale of 1-10, how likely is it that I'll get a virus from downloading a brute force program? My girlfriend and I have a bet of a sort that I can't hack her Facebook, and I'd like to win.