Noxx

Moved to Washington State on Monday.... :\ We still talk but it's not like i can be like hey come over. I was actually thinking of jumping back in the pool tonight, but the bad thing is that the only three places we can go to (yes, there's only like three places in Vero that are decent), is the places her friends hang out. And i can't exactly hit on other girls when her friends are around.

Yep, i'm back. Things have gone good for long enough now. Knew it was time for it to go bad again. So where do i start. Things with me and Claire have been going pretty damn well for the last while, to be honest. We've been talking a lot, and spending a lot of time together. So she came over to my house last night. We were both pretty tired. It was a long day for both of us. She had school pretty much all day and i was flying pretty much all day. So we were laying on my bed, talking. Kind of falling asleep, kind of trying to stay awake. She had come with her mother's car that night. I found it rather strange because she's not done that once. So i pretty much knew she was not going to spend the night, but i was alright with that because i didn't really want to wake her up at 5am when i started getting ready for school (i had an early flight this morning and she's a very light sleeper, so i would have woken her up no doubt). It still just seemed kind of odd. Anyway, as we were laying there we talked and then after a while things started getting intimate, like they usually do when two people of opposite sex are on the bed. So anyway things got a bit intimate as i said, then all of a sudden she tells me to stop. So i stopped. She suddenly got up from the bed and told me she had to go. I asked her what the heck just happened. Is it something i did, or didn't do. What just happened. She went on to explain that she couldn't stay, she was tired, she had her mom's car, etc. etc. I told her alright i'll talk to her when she gets home. So when she got home we talked, and i asked her to give me the real reason she left so suddenly. She told me that she doesn't know. She asked me to stop (when we were getting "physical") and then she had to ask herself why she just asked me to stop. She said it felt strange. We went on talking and she told me that she's in a weird place, and she has a lot on her mind. I asked her to tell me about it, but her reply was along the lines of "i dont talk about my emotions very well". So i told her that she can't really keep me in the dark if there's something bothering her. I don't want to go on for the next two weeks pretending like everything's fine then she tells me we need to stop seeing each other. She told me to forget about it, nothing's wrong (but clearly there is). Okay so i stupidly asked her if she thought maybe we should stop seeing each other. She said no, she likes me, and she likes spending time with me (relief). I said that i too feel that way. I asked her if she was afraid of getting too attached and then having to say goodbye to me in a few months. She told me that she really doesn't think about that all too much because i'll still be here for a good 5 or 6 months. "Okay, so what is it then" i asked. "I really don't know. Maybe it's just my hormones. I felt fine most of the week, just the past few days i've had a lot on my mind" she replied, or something along those lines anyway. I told her to stop overthinking things and just take it one day at a time and we'll see what happens. Kind of weird for me to be saying this, i think. Anyway, i'm not really sure what to think now. I told her i might go out tonight. She immediately told me that she probably would not be out this whole weekend because she has to study, work, etc. Kind of got the feeling after that, that she was going to try and avoid me. But after a few minutes she told me that she might actually end up caving and going out tonight. Alright, so i might see her out. Anyway back on track. I really hate saying this, because it feels like i'm being sexist, but could it perhaps just be that it's her time of the month? Or is this just a typical girl thing? Halp please.

I'm from South Africa. But spent the last 5 or 6 years in the middle east. I don't really plan on just driving like a lunatic while he's around. There's plenty of other ways for me to make his stay here as uncomfortable as possible until his attitude towards the people around him changes. No one here wants to hang out with him, and we will all make it very clear to him. He wants to trat us like we're dogs, well we can easily do that to him as well. He will soon realize how lonely Vero Beach really is when you have no one to hang out with. Being an outcast/loner is never fun, especially not in a place like this.

I'm not just freaking out about him insulting my driving. I drive aggressively and i understand that it makes people uncomfortable more often than not. The thing that really boils my blood is his attitude and opinions. The fact that he would slag people off to their friends and think it's alright. He made so many racial comments about Indians, Pakistanis and Sri Lankans living in England earlier today while knowing that i dated a Pakistani, my neighbor is dating a Sri Lankan and his roommate is dating an indian. It's the utter disrespect that is pissing me off.

I'm only being a douche to him. He's pretty much a douche to everyone. He should have thought things through before he did what he did. If he wants me to act like a child, i'll give him exactly that. He deserves nothing less. And i'm not really hoping to fix him, rather hoping to break him and send him packing. I'm usually a very, very tolerant person. I don't think i've had any conflict with any person in 8 months of living here. And i'm the guy that's always willing to help out anyone whenever i can without ever asking for anything in return. Then this [bleep] creates such a scene over me going 5mph over the speed limit? Makes up bullshit stories about the country i live in? Makes up bullshit stories about the Arab culture? Makes up bullshit stories about the city i grew up in? You expect me to be anything less than a douche to someone that's so arrogant, ignorant, and self involved? Like i said, i want to see him either move houses or move back to where he came from. I was having a cigarette outside earlier and he joined me (god, why punish me like this?). He has not a single good word to say about anyone that is not a white British Citizen. Kept on calling americans dumb left and right, rednecks, etc. etc. Why on god's [bleep]ing green earth would you come to the SOUTH (the god damn south, you inbred arrogant prick) and then complain?

The guy wanted to go out for dinner tonight and asked my neighbor if he would mind giving them a lift to go buy a pizza or something. My neighbor, who's also a good friend of mine, told him to go [bleep] himself (man this new guy sure made a great impression on everyone). He can ask me for a lift if he really wanted one. Roommate then told him he really doesn't want to get in the car with me again. But still, he came and asked me for a lift. Told him to buckle up soon as we got in the car "cause i'm kind of in a hurry to be somewhere else". Soon as i said that he started to panic. It was pure joy. I was about half a mile from a traffic light when it turned red and i kept on speeding towards it. He told me that he doesn't understand why i would speed to a red light. I was like [bleep] i am not stopping at the light, i'm taking the right. You better hold on. "Oh shit" - his exact words. I'm hoping i can get this guy to the point where he has a nervous breakdown when driving with me. Only then will i feel satisfied, Problem is i need to be so careful about when i can choose to speed or not. I'm not really comfortable speeding when there's more than one or two other cars within like a 100 or 200 feet in front of me. So i usually have to wait for an empty road or drive like a sane person. I'm hoping i can break this guy down pretty soon. Get him out of his arrogance. Once again earlier today he was insulting people here left and right, slagging them off to their friends. Is this guy [bleep]ing serious? Or he would make terribly racist remarks about Indians/Pakistanis/Sri-Lankans. He would make absurd claims about the middle-east, make ridiculous claims about airlines. This guy is one of the most arrogant and ignorant people i have had the displeasure of meeting.

Haha that is weird.

Got two new housemates two days ago. One of them is pretty cool. Very quiet and reserved. Dont see him much. Does his own thing. I like that. The other one is a total [bleep]ing douche-bag, and i can see the two of us having a lot of issues in the future. He's already made a bad impression on everyone here within the first day of being here. He was bragging about how he flew to certain airports using x aircraft, thinking he would impress us, until i called him out by saying that you cannon enter that airspace without an instrument rating (which he doens't have, which is what he's here for at the moment). He quickly made up some excuse. The he went on and on and on about how he just got back from Vegas where he made $30 000 in 3 weeks of playing poker, and how amazing he is. We had a poker night last night and he got cleaned within 20 minutes. He then quickly made up an excuse about how we just got lucky (no bro, you're just a [bleep]ing liar). Okay so i decided to do a nice thing yesterday and take them to Wal-Mart to do their shopping (lol wal mart). Anyway on the way there he kept complaining about how bad a driver i am for going 5mph over the speed limit. When we got back home he told out neighbor (one of my best friends here) that i need to learn to drive. Okay so now the fun is about to begin. Last nigth we went ou and he asked me if he could have a ride with me. I said sure, be sure to buckle up though cause its going to be a [bleep] of a ride (i'll show you what a bad driver is). Long story short, when we got to the bar the chinos he was wearing had a wet circle on his ass from all the sweating he was doing on the drive there. As we got there i told him, you can find your own way home tonight, since im such a bad driver. I know that was a dick move, but im sure he deserved it after the way he's annoyed pretty much everyone in our school after the first day.

Last night wasn't half bad. Met a lot of people. Don't really remember any of their names which i feel bad about. I've never been good with names and kept up mixing up names the whole night. People actually thought it was quite funny. But it was really not bad. Her guy friends didn't really talk to me that much. Apparently American guys here don't like us foreign guys all that much. They say we come here and take their girls. Not my fault that most of them are rednecks and none of the girls here want them (not my words, this is what Claire and her friends told me). Her girl friends asked me a lot of questions. I felt like i was on a gameshow at one point. But they were really harmless. And very nice. It turned out to be a great night. Claire showed me a whole different side of herself. She was a lot more "loving". She was touching me a lot more than usual, showed a lot more affection. Her friends seemed to like me a lot too, which is great. Also, i found out today why girl number one has been so distant. She told me that she's moving to Washington State on monday. She's known for about 10 days now (which is when things started going strange). She told me that i must hate her, etc. etc. I told her everything is fine and she need not worry about a thing, but i would like to say bye in person before she leaves. It's kind of sad that she's leaving but it's going to make things a lot more simple for me now which is really a good thing. Me and Claire had a lengthy talk last night about what was happening between her and i, and as i looked in her blue eyes i thought to myself that i can really be with her. It was a good feeling. And just the way she touches me, and kisses me. It feels good, different.

In a nutshell, I believe you should only spend time with her doing things you'll both enjoy. Don't try and get her to do things with you that will likely make her bored or uncomfortable, and don't allow yourself to do things that you don't want to do just because she wants you to do it. That actually makes sense. But the problem with that is, how do i know i won't enjoy something unless i actually try it? It's like saying i hate cabbage, but i've never eaten it before. I might end up having a great time, or i might end up having the worst time ever. But i won't actually know unless i try it.

This town is full of pilots lol. People know that if you're foreign, there's a 90% chance that you're going to be in the Aviation School here. When i first met Claire, about 4 or 5 days after we started really hanging out she told me she could never be in a relationship with me, she just wants me to know that early on. I asked her why, she answered by saying "we girls in Vero know you pilots". So it's pretty clear that she's sees hundreds of us around lol. Why do you disagree with it?

OMG this is win.

Yeah i guess you are... lol.

Well i never really said that i didn't want to go. I was more terrified because i'm not sure how to react in this kind of situation. I have no obligation to go, you're right. But a mature relationship in my opinion involves making small sacrifices even if it means a bit of discomfort at the start. I feel the only way i can really show her that i want to be with her is by meeting her friends and showing her that i'm willing to go above and beyond. She told me earlier that there's a good chance the only people there will be girls which already means it's good news for me because i communicate a lot better with girls in a friendly environment than i do with guys. The thing that made me nervous is that i'm not really sure how to handle them maybe giving me a hard time. The last few girls i dated were all as a result of mutual friends, so it was always easier meeting their other friends since we already had so many people in common. I was never the stranger at any time. So this is going to be a new experience to me. I'm not really sure where you guys got the "you know you won't enjoy" from. Don't think it's a good idea to apply your own fears to someone else's situations lol. Because i think that's why most guys always say they know they won't enjoy a situation like this, because they have a big fear of being around more than one girl at a time. I was hoping more for some tips on how to handle her friends. What i shouldn't say, and things like that.

Claire wants me to go to a friend's Birthday Party with her tomorrow night. I'm kind of shitting myself. I'm not going to know anyone there but myself. And i'll be the only foreign person there too. And on top of that i'll have to deal with her friends drilling me because i'm "seeing" their friend. Dunno what to do....

I appreciate it man.

Honestly Muggi, i have been thinking about it a lot. But where i live at the moment, as i have said many times before, it's way too small. I went to a going-away of a friend for a few hours on Friday night (before going out) and about half the people there would come up to me and ask me if i'm the guy that's "seeing" Claire at the moment. I didn't know any of them, at all. But somehow they knew who i was. And then there's the fact that there's only a handful of places to go, when you go out. There are three popular bars/clubs which me and my mates go to every weekend. There are two Cinemas, one Bowling Center and one place to play Pool. Claire has many friends that frequent most of these places. They know what i look like, obviously. Girl number 1 has friends that work at the mall where the one cinema is, she has friends that works at the other cinema, she has friends that frequent the bars/clubs we go to. She herself goes bowling often (girl number one). I'm already shitting myself each time i go out, haha. I have this terrible fear of running into someone that knows someone and i might get [bleep]ed. And the chances of it happening in this town is a lot greater than most cities. Only an idiot would try and have 2 girls at the same time without them knowing. As for me telling them i'm seeing other people. Claire told me the other day, when i was out, that she doesn't mind me having a good time as long as i stay respectable. She's not going to think the same of me if i end up going home with another girl, which pretty much told me exactly what she thought of a Poly Relationship. So i can't really go there with her.

The girl i met just before leaving is out of the picture now. Have not spoken to her in ages. The French girl is out of the picture too now. Been that way for about 2 months. She started acting a bit crazy on me. Very jelous, and very needy/clingy. She would want to spend every night at my place and that's something i couldn't handle because i have a lot of stuff i need to do, like study for exams, prepare for flights, etc. She was just becoming a distraction i didn't need. Girl number one is a girl i met a month ago today, to be exact. Haha just realised. Girl nuber two (Claire) is the girl i met the week after that. Both at the same bar, both sitting on the same chair when i first spoke to them. Kind of weird, but anyway. Girl number one is the girl who always said we should hang out more, but never really followed through when we tried making plans. She's the one that has been acting strange and talking to me less and less everyday. She's the one that texted me today. Girl number two is the one that i've seen pretty much 5 days out of the past 7 days, she's the one i took to the beach the other night. She actually seems to want to hang out a lot, which is awesome. Seems pretty simple that i should go for Claire, but the problem is that the other day me and a friend of mine had a talk. He asked me about girl number one and told me that he thinks i like her a lot more, because she's the kind of person that takes things very slow (maybe a bit too slow, but still) and he has gotten to know me as someone that prefers that. Girl number two takes things slow too, in a certain sense. She takes a long time to open up to people and show her true emotions (which she started doing now) but she's a lot more sexual. I guess it's not a bad thing, but i am not sure if i'm exactly into that. I might be and not know it. Basically here is, in a nutshell, what i can tell you about the two girls. Girl number one: Used to text me a lot. Like A LOT. Would keep on telling me we need to hang out more often, but i'd still only see her once ever 5 or 6 days. Would never give me any sort of indication as to what she was feeling (after two weeks you know whether or not you might like a guy, don't keep me on a [bleep]ing string and lead me on). Suddenly stopped texting me saying her life has become busy (which i can kind of understand as stated earlier, because she moved into a new apartment, but still it takes 10 seconds to send a text). Took things very slow. VERY SLOW. But i liked it, it made me think of her as a lot more respectable. She has never spent more than 4 hours with me when we went out. Girl number two: Texts me a lot. Like A LOT. Actually makes plans to see me and then does exactly that. Started opening up to me, telling me kind of what she feels. Never had to ask her to do it either, it just came out of nowhere. Few days after we met she told me she could never be in a relationship with me because she doesn't know when i'll be leaving the US and she doesn't want her heart broken. Told 2 nights ago she could see herself being in a relationship with me at some point (but not quite yet). Has spent the night at my place several time already. Very open about certain things, which i like. But the fact that she's so sexual scares me a bit because i'm not like that.

So girl number one texted me today, few days after i sent her a text. She told me that she was really sorry for being so quiet the past few days, she's just been really busy. She also said that the thing between her and i was kind of bad timing because she's being overloading with things to focus on. I kind of under stand what she means, but i also feel like she's making up excuses in a way. I think i might just decide to go with it for a few more days. Maybe till the end of this weekend and then see what happens after that. I still feel like i like her. But the problem is now, she's someone i can't get so i want her even more. She's a really cool girl and i did enjoy the times we spent together hanging out and whatnot, despite the fact that she moved really slow. I feel like she's more the kind of girl i want to be in a relationship with. The other girl is awesome too, but her priorities in a relationship seems to be focused more on sex than anything else, and that's not where my priorities lie sadly. So i guess i'll see what happens over the course of the next week or two. If girl number one is still acting the way she is now i might have to cut her loose because the other girl is starting to like me a lot and i don't want to end up hurting her when girl number one finally decides she wants to start hanging out again.

I find life really frustrating sometimes. The past week me and my friends have been going out pretty much every night, and i would see Claire pretty much every night when i got back home. There's something about it that just gave me so much more confidence. Knowing that even if i do not end up having a good time at whatever bar we might be going to, i'll end up having a good time when i see Claire later that night. It's given me so much confidence that i would randomly strike up conversations with people while getting a drink at the bar, or people would actually come up to me and talk to me. Last night we were at a club/bar. Me and my friend were in a really good mood and we decided we were going to make complete fools of ourselves and go dance. Out of nowhere, while dancing, i somehow accidentally started a dance-off. It was hilarious because i'm by no means a great dancer but the guy felt he had something to prove so i decided i would play along. It's something i would have never really done before because i would be so afraid of what people might think of me, but i just don't care anymore and i think i showed that. People were cheering and it felt pretty cool, i'm not going to lie. After that i saw a girl get up from the table she was sitting at and walk straight at me. At first i didn't think she was really coming towards me but i kept kind of looking at her and it became clear that she was walking right to me. She came over to me and grabbed my hand and started dancing with me. Again i decided "[bleep] it, i'm gonna dance no matter how stupid i look". 2 or 3 songs later i told her i was going to get a drink and asked her if she would like to join me. I got us both a drink and we went outside to the patio area to catch some fresh air. We talked and she said she was sorry for randomly dancing with me it just looked like i was having such a good time she wanted to meet me. She ended up giving me her number (it's kind of weird because i can't remember ever asking for a girls number here, they always offer to give it to me which i assume is a good thing). We talked a bit more and then i decided to get back to my friends. Earlier today she sent me a text (i kind of forgot that i met her) and asked me if i wanted to go out for coffee so she can repay me for the drink i got her last night. We went out and had a pretty good time. She was a bit hard to talk to for some reason. The conversation wasn't exactly as flowing as i would have liked but it was still kind of nice. She asked me if i wanted to see her again sometime this week to which i said yes, but i'll have to let her know when. Have to admit that things are getting pretty fun. Just frustrating how, when you dont have a girl in the picture getting one in the picture can be so hard. But once there's a girl in the picture it's so easy to pick up more girls.

I think it's because of the type of person i am myself. I'm someone that kind of likes being in a relationship. And although i sometimes say/think i have no skill/game when it comes to girls, i actually think i have a lot. I know what to say and what not to say and i know how to get people to trust me very easily. It's kind of scary sometimes but more often than not it's actually awesome. Anyway when i go out with friends i never really go out with the intention of picking up girls, i just go out with the intention of having a few beers and having fun. Most of the night i wouldn't say much, i'd pretty much just watch the people. I feel like this is usually a big advantage in getting the kind of girl that you want. I'll notice the girls that go to talk to 50 different guys, gets drinks bought for her from many guys, wears the shortest skirt and the highest heels. Those girls are more often than not the 1 night stand girls and i tend to stay away from them. Then you get the girls who would quietly sit at a table or by the bar. They'll have guys come over to them and talk to them, but the conversations will never really last long because either the guy is get's bored with the conversation or he realizes that he's not going to get in her pants. She won't let the guy buy her a drink, because she's not the type. She usually has a "[bleep] off, i'm not interested" look on her face too. So i'll go talk to that girl. Also it's a risky move, but i find it's a lot better to go talk to a girl 10 minutes or so before the bar/club closes. Usually it's a lot more quiet, a lot of people have left, so you can actually have a conversation without having to shout your lungs out. Other upside is that it makes it easier to get her number because it's going to feel like you left your conversation halfway because you had to leave. I don't know if what i'm saying is making a lot of sense. But over the past few weeks this is pretty much what has worked for me. EDIT: Oh and i wouldn't pick up a girl at a club, really. Most of the girls are from a local bar where the majority of people there are ages 21 - late 20's.

I used void a few times before. It's not too bad really. I however didn't really use it to full potential. I basically just took the 3 different helms, D Def, Mage Book, Rapier, KxBow and ABS. A lot less switching than when i was using Torva/Virtus/Pernix. I took a bit more damage though, so i always had to take a brew or two extra, and it was about 10 minutes slower than using a Neith Helm.

So last night me and Claire (Girls #2) were talking on the phone. She asked me what i was upto and i told her i was really just sitting around wasting time. She knew that i had a pretty bad day because yet again i had to cancel my flight. And i was stuck at home because my roommate had to use the car. I told her that i had to go for a few minutes, because i just wanted to jump in the shower. As i got out of the shower about 10 minutes later i started getting dressed when i heard a knock at the door. I went to open the door and there she was. I was pretty shocked to say the least. But i was also happily surprised. This was about at 10:15pm. We sat down on the sofa, watched a movie. When the movie finished she put on some music and we just spent the rest of the time talking. Talking about the most random crap ever. It was really fun. She left around 3am. She's really cool. And it really seems that the more i look at her the more beautiful she becomes. It's really strange. But i asked her this morning if i could take her out for dinner sometime this week or weekend, since we haven't really been out on a "date". I think she deserves it.

That would be the one i met at the bar. Kinda funny cause i met them both at the same bar, and they were pretty much sitting in the exact same seat. The one that i was "pretty much dating"... she's been acting odd.

I guess you could fish Rocktails with herb runs inbetween. It's not amazing but at least this way you're going to train skills that aren't 99 yet, but still bring in some alright profit. edit: or train your unbalanced stats