IGoddessI

Oh by the way I don't know if I would want to stay any specific age... I'm pretty happy growing older and learning more as I go along. I wouldn't want to be younger because I was put through a lot of abuse, I wouldn't like to be a teenager because when you're an adult you realize just how screwed up some teenagers are. In my life experience life has only gotten better with age so I'm quite happy to age gracefully.

Today I had a pretty bad fight with my fiance'. I've been a stay at home mum now since my son was born and it's really emotionally draining to look at 4 walls all day and house work can also be one of the most depressing things known to man. You do the dishes, then look over and they're back again. You do the washing then you turn around and there's another load to be done. Guys, if you ever live with a woman never tell her that being a stay at home mum isn't hard work. I assure you that studying a full time degree and working 50 hours that week is nothing compared to being a stay at home mum. It's also emotionally draining on the basis that I feel like I am "stuck" because I'm so used to being a workaholic. I do try to tell myself that I'm doing the right thing by spending the first 6 months of my sons life raising him at home but then when my fiance' has 6 days off and just wants to sit down and relax it makes me mad. I can see that he works long shifts and obviously deserves a bit of a rest but I'm not here to clean up after him 24/7 and look at 4 walls every day. It would be nice if he took me out to nice places and leave my son with our parents for a lousy hour to get out of the house. He does eventually give in and take me out but the problem is I shouldn't have to ask. I feel like because I have his kid and big rock on my finger that says I'm committed to him that he no longer has to make an effort with me. He says he is concerned about our finances but to be honest we probably have more than most couples in their early 20's. And he always says the same thing... several thousand later he still needs to save and tells me to wait, then when we reach that target and I finally feel like we can go out or get something that we want, he says it's still not enough. So I wait, several thousand later... and it continues. He is so concerned about money that he no longer wants to have any fun in life and lately I have been pretty depressed because I am trapped in this house. It's so easy to have your own account and do whatever you want with your money but it's another thing when you have joint finances and have to ask permission. I'm getting pretty angry about it. I don't feel like I should have to ask for credit for my phone considering we don't have a house phone, to go out and have a bit of a life some weekends or transfer some money across so I can get some food for lunch/dinner. He is so obsessed with our money that everything is in our savings account and he will only transfer the exact amount that he requires at one time. Not only that I don't have access to our account unless I ask him what our toggle code is because he is the only one who has it. So yet again every time I need to use some of our money I need to ask. God this really pisses me off. I have tried talking to him about it for months but he is being so stubborn about it and insisting we need limits. It really is taking a toll on me and I don't know what else to do. I am sick of fighting about money and I sick of being with a stingy partner who doesn't want to have any fun in life. Don't worry I'm not planning on getting married until all this crap is worked out lol But yeah I needed to get this off my chest because it is quite upsetting and I don't get to go out much so I can't talk to my friends and family about it. It is really affecting a lot of things, it is making me feel depressed, it is making me feel less satisfaction in life, it is making me feel less inclined to talk to him, our intellectual conversations have stopped, our connection is slipping, I don't like to be around him as often, I lose my temper quickly and I have been questioning whether or not I am engaged to the right person. As a result of this, I sleep in most days because a large part of sleeping too much is not knowing what to do with your life. And this is making me put on weight. Oh and if you didn't know once you've had a baby weight grows on you like leaves grow on trees. I have diabetes so this is pretty bad. I was going to pay off a cross trainer so I can go in to the shed and work out but he won't let me get one. I can't go for walks because of the heat, if you're a fellow QLDer you will know what I mean and I can't risk my son out in that kind of heat. Life is going down hill pretty quickly because of this. I could always go back to work, no problem but he is still in control of our finances so that won't fix the problem. He really is not interested in discussing this or budging and it is only pushing me away more and more. We have always fought about money since we have been together because I'm pretty lenient but know my limits and he is uncle scrooge so likes money sitting in the account letting his life waste by in the process. I should have thought about this problem a long time ago to be completely honest with myself but I had the power of my own account and do anything I felt like and didn't have a baby at the time. So I didn't really think about it as much. I guess you could say I turned a blind eye to it which is my fault. I'm an extremely independent person and to put it bluntly it really [cabbage]s me to tears that what makes me, me has been taken away from me.

"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds." - Albert Einstein I still think it is screwed up that I lost my best friend in a car accident due to stupid road defects. But then again his loss of life was enough for the government to fix the roads in that area and prevent it from happening to others. His death also encouraged the QLD government to create adverts about dangerous driving "every k over is a killer", "slow down stupid", etc This is the reason I figured that letting the 3 people die could also path it's own destiny for the future. The 3 people who died in this scenario definitely made a difference. Oh and I will PM you about the baby :D

^^ no problem. The fact that you came here to talk about it obviously means you're open for change, whether it be within yourself or a new prospective at looking at the problem. That is a good trait to have, I would encourage you to keep it :thumbup: I even come here myself with my own relationship problems because sometimes we can be so emotionally clouded that we can't seem to see other possibilities at the time.

Sorry Justin I've just come back to the forum so It's going to take some time to get used to people's personalities on here. I will make note of your sense of humour for next time mate :D People will always be hypocrites. Did you know in my photo album at 13 years of age, I dated a signed a piece of paper claiming I would definitely never smoke or drink because they were disgusting habits? Oh and apparently I would let my 13 year old daughter travel half way around the world to meet someone she doesn't know too lmao For the record, I drank like a fish and smoked like a chimney until I was about 19/20. People will always think they will stick with everything they say but then they wouldn't be human! I don't understand how she is walking on you by making choices about her body? Is it not her decision to put alcohol in to her body? Is it not her decision to be allowed to make her own decisions and not need approval from other people? Why does she need your permission? If you keep her on a short leash because of something she did in the past then perhaps it's best to let her go. You're not an [wagon]. You're a typical 16ish year old boy. You are being respected and treated as an equal. She respected you enough to tell you the truth and you're equal enough to make your own decisions to drink if you want to, just as she is entitled to. Telling her she can't drink because that would make her a hypocrite isn't really treating her equally, now is it? Did you think that maybe because of your past you are a little controlling? You enjoy the fact that when you are around her, you have control over what is happening. Perhaps it's time now in your life to accept a new lesson, that you have no control over what happens in other people's lives and decisions. It's a perfectly normal thing to go through. Justin actually has quite a very valuable point here. Is it the drinking that is annoying you or do you need to stop and think about the real issue here? That you want some control back in the relationship.

Don't listen to Justin... If you were to take his advice only 10% of 15 year olds would even have girlfriends. More than 70% of Australian children under the age of 13 report having consumed alcohol and this increased to 90% by 15 years of age. (Bonomo, Y., Coffey, C., Wolfe, R., Lynskey, M., Bowes, G. & Patton, G. 2001, 'Adverse outcomes of alcohol use in teenagers', Addiction, vol. 96, no. 10, pp. 1485-96.) Talk to her. This is a great opportunity to strengthen your relationship and put trust in to each other. Okay, so she made a mistake. She got drunk at a party, is it really worth getting angry over? Do you think you will get better results if you ask her why she did it? What her feelings were at the time? Is there anything happening in her life that she needs to talk about? It's also natural to test boundaries in your relationship. How else are you going to learn what your partner is going to be like in the worst of worst situations? One day you're going to get married, whether it be to this girl or the other and it's through better or worse. You need to roll with the punches and handle them as they happen at a mature level. The more you care about talking to her and finding out why, the more she will come to you and tell you the truth. Be thankful she cares enough about you to tell you the truth. How many teenage girls do you think go out and get drunk at parties behind their boyfriends backs and they never find out about it? Take a few moments to reflect on that, to calm down and then talk it out. This isn't any reason to ruin something good. It's not like she cheated on you. If you yell at her when she tells you the truth, she is less inclined to do so later. Is this what you want?

When you hold your little girl or boy for the first time, it will all come naturally for you. It's something you learn along the way *hugs* and you can use some role models or life experiences that have helped you to lean back on if you're feeling stuck.

I never said my experiences weren't for self gain. There are plenty of examples where self gain can be a positive thing :thumbup:

Also thought about letting the 3 people die as hopefully it might make news/news paper headlines and educate train workers on rail safety. It might also cause a large reaction in their union for workers rights/safety. Three lives could then prevent 20. Fate works in funny ways which is why I try not to screw with it. You just never know why something is happening. Without bad, there could be no good in the world. One life could also do the same but does it sound dramatic enough to get through to the right people? 3 lives sounds better and should hopefully make more of an impact on readers. I like to view life that the train and those 3 people were fate. Or was it my fate to push the lever? Either way I wouldn't want the responsibility so would probably look the other way.

I mainly help people because I have been in really bad situations in life and if it weren't for a few people who helped me, I probably would never be where I am today. I would probably be in the gutter somewhere, alcohol dependant or drugged up. Now that I'm in the fortunate situation that I am in and have the ability to return the favour, I choose to. Not because it makes me feel better about myself but because I'd like to give people the chance that people gave me. But then there are people like my friend Shannon who spends every cent he has on developing countries, lives there for years and helps build communities, helps the people become self sufficient, teaches English. I'm struggling to see what gain he has if he thinks it's just the right thing to do to help all of humanity become equal.

The beautiful thing is you can be whatever age you want on the inside. Even if it doesn't match your outside. The movie "The World's Fastest Indian" as a good example. Burt Munro (Herbert James Munro) was 68 years of age when he set the world record for 183.586 mph (295.453 km/h) for an under 1000cc. He claimed that he didn't care if his skin sagged and his memory was going, he never felt a day older than 18.

Sorry but I agree with Tripsis. And perhaps your gain is a positive gain. Perhaps your motive is to provide a good example for others and for your own children to carry on the butterfly effect that you're projecting in to the world. That's a great gain in some way, isn't it?

Why do it myself when I'm part of the biggest motorcycle gang in QLD. People might get paid to go missing :lol:

You're really not grasping the concept of perception. Seriously, grab a dictionary or something :wall: Megakiller32 - You've said lots of nice things to people!! And I don't think you're an [wagon].

The purpose of my signature has nothing to do with boasting or recognition. This is your own perception which is currently and ironically contributing to the least nicest thing you've done for someone.

This is a thread about the people in history/present who have done something so significant that you think they deserve recognition. It could be an inventor, a famous philosopher, a member of your family. ANYONE who has achieved something in life that makes you sit back in awe. This is the person who helped me think about this thread and I think he deserves more than recognition. Don Schoendorfer - An Engineer Using a simple lawn chair, this is mounted on to the wheelchair frame (metal productions http://www.markivmetal.com) to create a wheelchair (and costs for shipping) for under $52.00!! The wheels are nothing more than a few 24 inch mountain bike wheels! Fix any punctures with a cheap tire kit that is provided with the chair and if they go flat, there is also an added bike pump. These new chairs are being shipped off to developing countries and are compacted enough to ship 550 kits in a standard 40 ft container. The instructions also include picture demonstations so that people who cannot read English have hope to assemble the chairs together. It is estimated that 3 wheelchairs can be assembled within an hour by someone with little training. Isn't it amazing how something so simple can help so many lives? I'd like to see people other than 3rd world countries who can't afford their own chair to have access to this amazing opportunity too! WELL DONE DON!! :thumbsup: :thumbsup: He has inspired me so much that I'm going to write a letter to the fundraising team "FREEDOM WHEELS" (an amazing opportunity) that has raised over 52 million dollars US to help make custom made bikes for children with disabilities and kids with other disadvantages. With any luck Don and his team will have another fundraiser for their cause. You can find one of the articles here: http://www.freewheelchairmission.org/wh ... story.html

That's all it takes Warri0r. Your act of kindness spreads like a butterfly effect. The more little things you do, the more people will follow your example. You will never truly know where that one positive comment or gesture may end. Something you've said might be heard by one person who then passes it on to two others etc and so it creates a ripple of positivity. I have no doubt this will then be passed on to your children who will then pass it on to the people they know and to their children. A critical mass of invisible numbers always starts with one person. The value of consistent understanding is not that anyone will hear us, but that we will become a better person.

Changed hundreds of lives and have never asked for any recognition nor expected any thank yous. My gift in life is kindness and nobody can ever take that away from me.

Sure why not? My girls and I speak to anyone when we're out and about. If they snub you then they weren't worth it anyway and if they do, then you're in! Could make some new friends or even more. You will know all 3 personalities in a matter of one answer.

Some books, some new bedside dressers and a lot (about 6) of vouchers for Myer (see karma to what I previously wrote about vouchers) lol I'll probably spend all the vouchers on my son anyway I don't want anything lol

Just finished reading "Secrets of the Monarch" - What the Dead Can Teach Us About Living a Better Life By Allison Dubois It's a good book, even if it's not something you believe in there are some really valuable lessons about life. A good book for someone who enjoys the TV Series "Medium"

I see you as someone who knows his self, well. This is why you don't have many friends and don't have much going for you :thumbup:

Thinking that your son would behave to an external stimuli the same way your daughter does is just ignorance. Come to think of it, thinking that any personality would react in the same way comes down to ignorance. Never compare your son and daughter to each other. They are both different people, with different personalities and are unique in their own way. Comparing sisters to brothers and brothers to sisters only creates hatred. Hatred directed at YOU and hatred directed at the percieved favourite child. Doing this can really screw up your family and damage any potential build of relationship. Maybe that's just it. You need a real woman and not just a girl. :thumbup: :thumbup:

*Slaps NOM* look at him he's bwweauuudiiifull! *goes all mushy inside*

Mmmmm Christmas food. The reason why I bought my cross trainer BEFORE Christmas Day. Had to get a heads start :lol: