fastortoise

When I discovered that all my exs sorta look like my mom, she started wearing a small bikini around the house because it's summer and she likes tanning. I swear I was near gouging my eyes out with a clothes hanger when I saw her upper leg width and neck to belly button height. OH MY GOD

Haha I started cooking because I wanted to be able to cook food that's as good as the food you get in fancy restaurants. Creme brulee is surprisingly easy to make (takes six to seven minutes when you get good at it) and so are good steaks. Tiramisu's pretty difficult to get good. Also, creme brulee is extremely inexpensive too - it's just eggs, sugar, vanilla, and heavy cream! And the torches only cost about $10, but if you want a really good one you're looking at $30-$50. Cooking fancy food is fun. :P I know, people go on dates and dish out hundreds of hard earned cash on professional cooks and waiters. 99% of Tip.it will depend on these restaurants to impress their women - but not us rangeor. No - we will be independent men, we will impress women not with our wealth but with our cooking skills. We will live like kings among an ocean of gorgeous women begging for a taste of our meals.

The sad thing is that this joke works a lot better textually, unless somehow you indicate "paws" with your bare hands. Yeah, but a good vocal one is anything that begins with a bear and ends with him killing somebody with his: BEAR HANDS. Aaaahahah. Bears love the second amendment: The right to BEAR arms. #-o A termite walks into a bar and says: "Hey, is the bartender here?" :lol:

After reading The Third Chimpanzee, I became very disturbed with the type of women I'm attracted to (more as to WHY I'm attracted to them). I think we're all better off not knowing why someone attracts us, because the answer is pretty disturbing. I'll therefore give you an indirect hint. The day I read the passage that is disturbing me to this day, my friends came to my house to hang. One by one I asked them to compare middle finger length size with my mother, and sure enough, the one I have a 'crush' on has near identical finger length as my mom. Then, without telling them, I observed their ear structure. Near identical. You're thinking, "this guy is an idiot". No, man. We're all instinctively attracted to women that have subtle features shared with your mother and girl cousins. Obviously it's not the defining physical traits that are shared, or else we'd all be going out with younger versions of our mothers. Social taboos steered us away from this, but they did not steer us away from the subtle traits, like the ones I've mentioned above. Nobody is going to do "ewww dude, she has the same ear structure as your MOM". Obviously I haven't put my finger on the exact reason why we're attracted to certain women, but I think it's pretty close. Be warned, the more you think about it, the more you're going to be disturbed by your dating patterns. Woops, wasn't supposed to share that with you. Oh well :

I'm starting to cook seriously, as in preparing my own meals. My dad is retired and my mom is always with her friends, and since my brother moved out I've had to fend for myself. I can only make basic stuff, but I'm learning a lot of basic techniques (chopping/slicing fast for salads and pretty much acquiring a 6th sense for knowing when things are "done"). I want to start cooking complicated dishes, but I have to convince my parents to buy the necessary groceries : . I'm sure the second I start cooking for them, they'll buy whatever I'll put on a list. I have this killer recipe for smoked trout on the bbq. It involves cooking it on a cedar plank so that when the wood burns, it's like I have my own mini-smokehouse. And trout doesn't have that fishy aftertaste which puts most people off any type of fish. PS: I lied when I said it was because I've had to cook for myself that I started cooking seriously. I lived on Cheerios for a solid year before I started making hot meals for myself. No, it's because of the show Dexter, mainly the elderly character that dates Dexter's sister. He gets laid the SECOND she finishes eating her meal (or was it before he even served her?) - I want to be this guy and cook like this at a very young age.

I've used these crazy hightech scales that send an electric current through your body and calculates stuff like that for you. You have to be bare feet to use it, but I doubt it's accurate. I've been really cut since the beginning of the summer, but I doubt HALF my body weight is pure muscle :lol: The classic method requires measuring your body at like 10 different spots, and doing crazy calculations &t.

Infected Mushroom friday was [bleep]ing insane. I wasn't expecting much, and it was pretty boring at first since all my friends were just chilling nowhere near the crowd. But the music called me into the crowd so after a few insults to my lame buddies I grabbed my (lady) dancing friends and penetrated inside the crowd, which was about the time when the night started becoming blurry. I think I was groped by both men and women in there, and I didn't care the slightest bit. Great concert. And I was supposed to go see Coldplay Saturday night but my legs were killing me and I didn't feel like paying the 150$ for a 1h show that probably wouldn't be good compared to the (free) Infected Mushroom concert. So I sold my ticket to my eager friends little sister who thanked me tonight and said it was great, but she's a 16 year old girl... of course she was going to enjoy a Coldplay concert :lol:

Mmmmmm, I dunno... I'd only buy skates at a store. It's like buying a house or something, you have to test it out and know it's feel before laying down the money, which you can't do online. I don't have that problem, my sponsored friends give me their old skates for free :thumbsup:

Hahaha, my brother is able to, too. Whenever he offers ANYBODY a popsicle he gets a sly smile as if he's really enjoying himself and goes: "Does anybody want a popssssicle?" With the whistle and everything... gets me everytime (even just thinking about it makes me smile). EDIT: I forgot to mention, I can do Marvin the Martian really well. "Where's the kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom!" or "OOOOO!, That makes me VERY angry!". I also take pride in imitating Toad's voice, but I take it to an extreme when I play Nintendo games with my friends.

I agree with Kreig. I think you got really pumped for going into the Corps and you were completely deflated when you were denied because of something so stupid. Get the wavier ASAP and go torture yourself for a couple of months. I don't think anything else will help you get out of your rut, and that's because you know joining the Marines is the best (maybe only) way you're going to really change your life. Joining the Marines is like older people going back to college. It's appealing not particularly because you earn a title or get extra opportunities in life, but because you're surrounded by likeminded people. It's these people that'll change you, and depending on who you decide to hang with, it'll be for better or for worse. And if you can't join the Corps, will your warrant thing let you join other military forces? And would you be willing to join?

Raining :cry: Time to crack open the scientific papers! The genetics of sporulation... cool 8-)

Maybe you're destined to not do anything too exciting with your life. Some people would love to have a simple life... take me for example. It's going to be a [bleep] taking over the world, and a lot of people will make my life miserable just for trying.

In all honestly, when i'm scoping out bars, i'm looking for tall blonds.... Also girls with short hair and big bambie eyes, I could kill for one of them.

Recently watched this movie again: "That's a great plan, Walter. That's [bleep]ing ingenious, if I understand it correctly. It's a Swiss [bleep]ing watch. " EDIT: OR when the policeman throws a coffee mug at the dude's head (hahahaha): "OW! [bleep]ing fascist!!"

I have a pretty big hangover and my neighbour is cutting tiles outside my house for some reason. God I feel like shooting myself. I woke up alone too, which equally sucks.

My plan is to apply to all top Universities in Montreal in biochemistry/biology and go to the one that offers me the most money. Yes, they will pay me to study at their university (I'm not kidding).

I have a nice buttocks :thumbup:

Don't they pretty much last forever? If they're only going to sell it to you once, they'd better make a substantial profit :lol:

They know how to play with the media and that's what made them change the face of music. It wasn't really the music itself, more of how they knew how to appeal to the masses. I'm not sure where you get that they were bad Live, since they're mostly regarded as the best live band in history. They pretty much spent their entire youth practicing playing live, and they definitely had the showmanship.

Heh, I'm going to see them live this Friday. I personally don't enjoy the band or the genre at all, but all my friends have made it a big deal and have prepared a 'special' pre-party which will make me enjoy this type of music.

There's something about the Deltron 3030 album that activates my brain. Normally I can't study scientific papers with headphones on, but I tried tonight (inspired by this thread) and I just successfully finished reading a 40 page scientific paper. I have an abnormally complete understanding of it too, which never happens when I listen to music as I study. I think it's his flow that does it.. pretty incredible stuff

Del is [bleep] awesome. I just havent listened to one album enough for it to be on here. I dont really like Qotsa and I havent had any time to get At-the-drive-in. I'd recommend (for Del) listening to Deltron 3030 first. It was produced by Dan the Automator... that alone forces you to listen to the album. That and Kid Koala did the beats :thumbsup: You're in for a wild night, man.

no Del? near perfect Rap album choices. Not too sure about cypress... they're meh. Also, no Queens of the stone age or At-the-drive-in? What's wrong with you

Since it seems as though nobody wants to discuss boring old rules anymore, here is what your Leader has decided of the new laws (most taken from Roccodog25, since hardly anyone contributed): -Play realistically within the 1 day = 1 year ratio -No nukes whatsoever -You can make or join an alliance, but your alliances rules only apply for the members in your alliance. -No extreme acts of war without retort. The country receiving the blow must retaliate. -Your troop number cannot exceed your population. Your population must also be sensible and take the size of the land you own into consideration (I will not accept new countries having populations of 1 billion.) -You may as of now expand your nations. However, taking over a country will take ATLEAST 3 days (if it is unpopulated) and potentially weeks if the other player retorts. -Take into account troop movement time. Even though airplanes and cars exist it still takes awhile to GET to a country, which a lot of people have ignored. -Crazy scientific advancements are to be shared with the entire world. Nobody has to right to discover energy-efficient cars and manufacture them exclusively. -If a player quits or becomes inactive, his country disappears. I know many will oppose this law, but I assure you it is the best way. -If a new player wishes to join, he has full right to take the country of his choice as long as nobody already chose it as their 'capital'. That means that even though you only have 2 countries and your 2nd is equally important as the one you chose, you'd still have to concede him your country (but he still cannot take the one you initially chose). I'm glad I was able to set these laws for you guys before I unleash my new experiment on the world. I am tired of all these military alliances and treaties, which is why I resuscitated dinosaurs using fossil DNA. The range of my army is large, and many will crumble under their powerful bodies. I... what the hell? What are they doing so close to my mansion? .. .. OH [cabbage]! It looks like my time is limited on this planet, guys. Before this T-Rex finds me and bites my head off, I will immediately bring down my DeathRay satellites and crash them into Hawaii. I do not want these dinosaurs to be under anyone else's power, so I will make sure this forsaken island is permanently destro--...*gushing of blood*

Well since I am urging everyone of the Council to be as realistic as possible, I guess I'd be better off announcing our new experiment some other time. I don't know what you're getting at, rocco. I'm letting everyone decide the laws which will govern the new world, they aren't my creation. Once we decide which laws we prefer, people who do not follow them (conquer Europe in a day or lose oil dependency in two) will be punished. I am definitely anti-war, but if we decide that there will be war, I will not employ my DeathRays when a more powerful nation takes over another, as long as it's done realistically. Hopefully that cleared things up. I will need more opinions, especially those posted by Rocco (with his 7 or so new points). All are taken into consideration, do not fret. And Lent, yes.