Not caring?

[Viktorkrum77]

Unfortunately, like billions of others I suffer from the common problem of caring what other says, taking things too seriously, low self-confidence (for me, not so much esteem, I love myself, just not my physical self), and letting it all get to me.

 

 

 

So I'm making this thread in search of ways to give up caring what others think, what others say about me, rumors, criticism, etc. Like what technique's are best, playing along, laughing it off, etc. And what others use to not let these sorts of things get to them, etc.

 

 

 

So, have any advice for simply not caring what others say? It's not as easy as it sounds.

[Mercifull]

[bleep] about other people behind their back too.

[Ragen]

You could try confronting people who say stuff about you and let them know how it makes you feel. If you are totally honest about it, only the real jerks will carry on doing whatever they are doing. And you don't want to be talking to people like that anyway.

[Viktorkrum77]

You could try confronting people who say stuff about you and let them know how it makes you feel. If you are totally honest about it, only the real jerks will carry on doing whatever they are doing. And you don't want to be talking to people like that anyway.

 

 

 

That's my case right there, she's friends with my friend though. But I want to keep this general and not get into my whole problem.

[ctp080188]

It's not great to not care about what anyone says, most people say things for a reason. It's just about not taking it to heart, guess I don't really know how to explain it.

 

 

 

I don't care about the people I don't know, and what they think, but when it's your friends, you've chosen them as your friends for a reason. I'd take something they would say more seriously as obviously I value their opinion.

 

 

 

I would say it depends on who these people are to you personally. If you don't know them well and they're just being [bleep]s then why should you care, their opinions are not valuable. They don't know who you are, so they are in no place to make a judgement.

[1_man_army]

Maybe it comes naturally to me or maybe its due to the brutal sense of humour thatme and myfamily shares, but I've never been too bothered by what people think. Usually if I'm insulted by somebody or if they try to piss meoff, I just laugh it off and make them feel small by winding them up and mocking them. I'm telling you there is nothing worse for most people than when they're being laughed at by a group of people.

 

 

 

Not letting people see they're getting to you upsets them just as much as their insults might hurt.

[ctp080188]

Slow internet. Double post.

[Satenza]

If you have a problem fix it, start eating right and being active and you will feel better about yourself. Or confront the people who are being jerks.

[Viktorkrum77]

It's not great to not care about what anyone says, most people say things for a reason. It's just about not taking it to heart, guess I don't really know how to explain it.

 

 

 

I don't care about the people I don't know, and what they think, but when it's your friends, you've chosen them as your friends for a reason. I'd take something they would say more seriously as obviously I value their opinion.

 

 

 

I would say it depends on who these people are to you personally. If you don't know them well and they're just being [bleep] then why should you care, their opinions are not valuable. They don't know who you are, so they are in no place to make a judgement.

 

 

 

They are people who like to spread rumors, those are the ones I'm trying to not care what they say or spread.

[Rebdragon]

Gota say, I think I'm in the same boat as you- I'm terrible at dealing with that kind of stuff, even from a stranger :| .

[1_man_army]

It's not great to not care about what anyone says, most people say things for a reason. It's just about not taking it to heart, guess I don't really know how to explain it.

 

 

 

I don't care about the people I don't know, and what they think, but when it's your friends, you've chosen them as your friends for a reason. I'd take something they would say more seriously as obviously I value their opinion.

 

 

 

I would say it depends on who these people are to you personally. If you don't know them well and they're just being [bleep] then why should you care, their opinions are not valuable. They don't know who you are, so they are in no place to make a judgement.

 

 

 

They are people who like to spread rumors, those are the ones I'm trying to not care what they say or spread.

 

 

 

You just need to remember that people who spread rumours also have low self-esteem and try to make up for it by spreading lies. It just makes them seem pathetic.

[ctp080188]

Ok. I see it as simple, you shouldn't care because they don't know you for who you are. I just can't understand it any other way. That is the way I think I guess, I just don't feel that they are in any position to judge me or make up stories about me, so what they say just has no effect on me. I can't explain it really, I think it's just my ignorance, but I can't see why these things affect people.

 

 

 

They're no one to you, they don't care about what you say, so why would you care about them? They don't sound like nice people if they are doing this maliciously, so don't dignify them with a response of actually taking what they say to heart. That's the way they want you to feel, so just [bleep] 'em and get on with your life.

[Bubsa]

You're on your own on this one, mate.

 

Only you can decide who you want to be and how you want to do it. Believe in yourself, give 100% all day, everyday and you'll get your goal.

 

 

 

People will notice that and respect you for it, maybe even imitate you.

[fgfuyfyuiuy0]

I don't care what people think, but I don't know if I could "teach" it. I have no patience for teaching people stuff. But I just ignore the person/people and show no expression. Well, I really never show expression, but that can be the first thing you learn. Don't show it because people are like animals. They can sense stuff, so don't even let a sign of hurt or dread spread across your face because people are vultures and parasites. They feed on that stuff.

[MPM]

I don't think it's a thing that can be taught to another person. It's kind of a skill you have developed over time that helps you deal with it.

 

I have never cared what people say about me, or what rumors are spreading. I know they aren't true, and because I'm kind of egotistical, I know I'm better then the people talking about me.

 

Teach yourself that you are right, they are wrong, and never deviate from it. If you can incorporate that with going along to get along, you will never have problems with what people thing of you.

[magekillr]

i really wish i could give you advice. tbh, every1 feels that way at some point or another...but i guess some care more than others

 

 

 

anyway...hmmm...i really wanna think of someway to put it

 

 

 

i have an econ test to study for...lemme get back to you

 

 

 

put it this way though...i go into my classes in pajama pants and sweatshirts with 2 different colored shoes

[Pete_the_Viscous]

 

I know they aren't true, and because I'm kind of egotistical, I know I'm better then the people talking about me.

 

 

 

That works, yeah. On the other hand, if you don't have the confidence in yourself to do this, you don't actually need to think you're fantastic. You can think about how other people are useless -- wastes of life. If you can go around thinking that but still be kind and polite, then you've got it made.

[MyPurpleCrayon]

You're on your own on this one, mate.

 

Seriously. You can't do anything to blow it off, it's all inside your head. The only thing you will accomplish by "ignoring it" or "laughing it off" is letting them think you don't care, which is once again, only pleasing them.

 

 

 

Who cares what other people think, do you honestly have anything to prove to them?

[arizark]

the phrase "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me." may apply to this situation, now i know that 1st sentence probably will deter you from this whole post but please read. my theory on people trying to make you feel bad with words is that all they are doing is wasting air i mean if your that insecure that someone saying your fat when you might be then you don't think enough, i know 1st hand because i struggled with my appearance for years but now i've got myself on track all it takes is a good self esteem and when your inside feels good your outside resonates it as well.

[unkn0wnwarrior]

I add to it... :thumbsup:

 

Seriously. People around here talk about me and my family all the time. Anything they say about me, I make it sounds twice as bad, and laugh when I hear that within a couple of days. Sadly, I have discovered that a lot of what is said about me is started by people I don't recall ever meeting in my life...

[crimsonking]

You know, I had that problem a long time ago, but I ignored it all and it stopped pretty fast.

 

 

 

Of course I also elbowed a guy in the face in retaliation for picking on me while standing behind my back, but I really don't recommend that unless things start getting physical.

[l33thunt3r]

If you have the support of your friends, just start talking [cabbage] about them too.

[Peter]

I know this is an incredibly hard concept to grasp when it matters the most, but why do you care what they think or say about you? It's a rhetorical question, I've pondered it many times myself. But really it doesn't matter what someone else thinks about you.

 

 

 

Something else to think about is to look at what you think about other people. Maybe you think someone is an idiot or you just can't stand them, but no matter what you think, it never seems to affect them. So the same goes for you. No matter what other people think, it shouldn't matter to you. Besides, who knows what they are really thinking? Everyone judges other people, it's human nature. You just can't let it get to your head, and that's a skill that some people have when they're born, and others of us take a few years to perfect.

 

 

 

Pretty much everything above, after re-reading, makes absolutely no sense unless you're in my head. I know what I'm thinking, but I can't spell it out correctly. But take from it what you will.

[Defender2516]

My advice is learn that their words are vanity. Who cares what they say, it changes and effects nothing.

 

 

 

I could care less of what anyone thinks of me because my Destiny is my choice and no one can change that by a few words of dislike.

 

 

 

~Defender~

[The Dark Lord]

So what gender is the person spreading rumors about you?

 

 

 

Sorry if you posted and I didn't see it.

 

 

 

Also I've been doing things to increase my self-esteem. I already have confidence but hell... I want to look perfect. I'm like 190 pounds, 5'6", so I am a little... I was at 195 a few days ago but lost 5 pounds freakishly fast so yeah. :D Meth owns! J/K

 

 

 

Anyways using skin medications to prevent acne breakouts and etc. can help a lot. Mainly I'm doing it to look more attractive for the ladies but I already have the good personality. 8-)

 

 

 

I also obsess over something... When I was little I had vivid blue eyes and very bright blonde hair... Now (Since I'm like 10 years older...) I have dark green eyes with traces of a little blue and dark blonde hair. So I kind of miss the brighter hair and the vivid blue eyes but meh. :cry:

 

 

 

 

 

So if you have low self-esteem, do something to make yourself feel better...Just don't go Michael Jackson and make yourself look like a total freak. lol