thargor01 Posted December 16, 2007 Share Posted December 16, 2007 IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢m 18, does it matter, does this day stand apart from yesterday? Has my maturity level increased with but a passing of the Earth around the sun? no. men put such an importance on age, on meaningless dribble, it doesnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t matter how old I become, until I mature enough to behave like the man I want to be, I will always be to young, IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢m to old for thing things I long to do, and to young for the things I crave. Where does that leave me? Right here. Sitting on my bed at 4:30 in the morning typing out the thoughts of my heart. IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢m 18, IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢m more than halfway through the first two years of college, and guess what, I have no [bleep]in clue what I want to do with my life. There are so many things that I could do. So many people I miss. So many choices I will make, that without me knowing it will effect the outcome of my life. I accept this all and try my best to put my faith in God and take each day as it comes, but everyday I regret a decision or fear that I made the wrong choice, and what if I do? What if I make a choice that messes up my life forever. The faith that I have chosen to follow says that if God has a plan for your life he isnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t going to let you, little old human you, mess it up, but itÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s so hard for someone who thinks as much as I do to just put my faith in someone let alone that a God is overlooking my future, but I guess thatÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s why itÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s called Faith and not, ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅknowÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâà finally back in the game! send me a message, all my old friends quit I laughed so hard I pooped my thong. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThoseTheBrokes Posted December 16, 2007 Share Posted December 16, 2007 Intriguing.. My dA account..retired, as of the 1st January 2008. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
look_its_rob Posted December 16, 2007 Share Posted December 16, 2007 I pity this world, I pity myself. Dear diary, Mood: Apathetic Look its rob! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rushrock Posted December 16, 2007 Share Posted December 16, 2007 Be an artist and express yourself, especially what you just typed, in art. Get a girlfriend. Try as hard as you can to make more friends (god damn it's hard isn't it?) and have hope. Pick a job that you enjoy doing, and really think about what you want to do with yourself. Age is just a number and a label point to designate how old we are, but many people also classify age with maturity. I can't say that that classification of maturity is always right, but you seem pretty mature to question things like this. Never stop asking questions. Strive for knowledge and be happy. Don't conform to the norm of society. Don't conform to the popular opinion or view. Don't surrender individuality. Hope that helped with something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pirate_Steve Posted December 16, 2007 Share Posted December 16, 2007 I pity this world, I pity myself. Dear diary, Mood: Apathetic Haha, that's great. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nom Posted December 16, 2007 Share Posted December 16, 2007 In before the haters. Oh, wait. . . Anyway, I like what Rushrock said. It seems like you're mature enough already to be asking questions like that. Now that you've asked those questions, it's your job to find the answers on your own. Once you do, you can be assured that you'll be fully mature and to grips with your life :) . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thargor01 Posted December 16, 2007 Author Share Posted December 16, 2007 wow, I posted this on my myspace and got 2 responses in what 6 days? ohh and I've moved 15 times in my life, I'm used to making friends and stuff but this time it's just hard, and lol at "dear diary finally back in the game! send me a message, all my old friends quit I laughed so hard I pooped my thong. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rushrock Posted December 16, 2007 Share Posted December 16, 2007 wow, I posted this on my myspace and got 2 responses in what 6 days? Why bring up MySpace? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thargor01 Posted December 16, 2007 Author Share Posted December 16, 2007 :lol: oh and on top of all that, I was in the hospital for a month, had 2 quit my job and drop all my college classes one month before my finals, but thank you rock, I really apreciate the support, and I'm keeping my head up and trying to stay independant. conformity ftl! finally back in the game! send me a message, all my old friends quit I laughed so hard I pooped my thong. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rushrock Posted December 16, 2007 Share Posted December 16, 2007 ^ You're welcome, and good luck with it all. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solidus_77 Posted December 16, 2007 Share Posted December 16, 2007 Key phrase: you are always second-guessing your decisions. If you ever want to appreciate life, you need to stop asking yourself "did I do the right choice?". Every decision you make is going to have consequences and the more time you spend worrying about the consequences the less you will enjoy the things you do. Like me, if I ever find myself wondering "Am I having fun?", then I just erase that thought from my mind straight away because I don't wanna focus on what the cost was, I wanna focus on what the opportunity was. 76th to reach 99 Construction on 6th of February 2007379th to reach 99 Runecrafting on 4th of November 2007 Finally the secrets of goal achieving are revealed! (give my guide a read :^_^: ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ctp080188 Posted December 16, 2007 Share Posted December 16, 2007 Candy Man sounds like an interesting name. SHH HUT YUH MUH. DERKHED. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Satenza Posted December 16, 2007 Share Posted December 16, 2007 Key phrase: you are always second-guessing your decisions. Nice phrase. With so many trees in the city you could see the spring coming each day until a night of warm wind would bring it suddenly in one morning. Sometimes the heavy cold rains would beat it back so that it would seem that it would never come and that you were losing a season out of your life. But you knew that there would always be the spring as you knew the river would flow again after it was frozen. When the cold rains kept on and killed the spring, it was as though a young person had died for no reason. In those days though the spring always came finally but it was frightening that it had nearly failed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadril Posted December 16, 2007 Share Posted December 16, 2007 If there is anything you should learn out of this, thargor, is that paragraphs are a wonderful tool. Use them -- please. Its hard enough having to read through all this self pity without my eyes starting to bleed in the process. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir_Alex85 Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 *Rides in on a unicycle* HAY GUYZ wuts goin on in dis TOP-- WHAT THA--!! *CRASHES into wall of text* It really has Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meol Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢m 18, does it matter, does this day stand apart from yesterday? Has my maturity level increased with but a passing of the Earth around the sun? no. That's up to you to answer. For example, I could certainly say I have become much more mature this year, at least with some aspects. Part of maturity if understanding one's weaknesses and capacities. Of course you can't arbitrarily measure maturity with time, but with age comes experience, and you can learn a lot from it. men put such an importance on age, on meaningless dribble, it doesnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t matter how old I become, until I mature enough to behave like the man I want to be, I will always be to young, IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢m to old for thing things I long to do, and to young for the things I crave. Where does that leave me? Right here. Sitting on my bed at 4:30 in the morning typing out the thoughts of my heart. IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢m 18, IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢m more than halfway through the first two years of college, and guess what, I have no [bleep] clue what I want to do with my life. There are so many things that I could do.Nobody has a pre-set life path they have to follow. We all must make choices on our own, that's an essential part of life. You must have preferences of your own, topics you like and dislike, so try to make decisions based upon them. However, don't plan your whole life at once, because unexpected things might and will happen. Live in the present. So many people I miss. So many choices I will make, that without me knowing it will effect the outcome of my life. I accept this all and try my best to put my faith in God and take each day as it comes, but everyday I regret a decision or fear that I made the wrong choice, and what if I do? What if I make a choice that messes up my life forever...Everyone makes mistakes, and there's not much you can do about it. You must simply continue with life, learn from it and try to solve any problems that arise. ...IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢m 18, does it matter? No. will I accept that people will now look at me different because I managed to survive another year, no, because in todays society every1 can survive, in the old days IF you survived to manhood it was a big deal, now its not, there are no diseases, no predators, nothing. Survival nowadays has become a term that describes nothing. I pity this world, I pity myself. Now the challenge is another one. Instead of surviving, you must try to enjoy life, and try to make other people happier as well. This signature is intentionally left blank. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baron8000 Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 learn to use it....wisely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dymed Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 :lol: oh and on top of all that, I was in the hospital for a month, had 2 quit my job and drop all my college classes one month before my finals, but thank you rock, I really apreciate the support, and I'm keeping my head up and trying to stay independant. conformity ftl! Yeah!! Down with conformity!! Let's stick it to The Man that is keeping us down!! What does conformity have to do with anything anyway? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rushrock Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 ^ Wait, what are you asking? You don't know the definition of conformity? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dymed Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 I do know the definition of conformity...which is why I don't see it's relevance. I don't understand what conforming has to do with anything. Besides, this whole conforming/non-conforming nonsense is ridiculous in virtually every aspect. No one is really all that "different." No matter what, chances are there are tons of people out there somewhere, doing exactly what you're doing and feeling exactly how you're feeling. From what I read (which was difficult because of the text wall and commas replacing periods/semicolons), the kid seems to be "finding himself" and going through his end-of-teens crisis. He's too old to be a child but not old enough to be a real adult. He's 18 and existential; we've all been (or will be) through a similar point in our lives. I can relate to him, and so can most people. It's a part of growing up. My advice would be to try and enjoy yourself man. Instead of being so pessimistic about this, try and look at the bright side. You're 18. You're in college. You're young, but you're not too young. Don't worry so much about every little choice you make and the great impact it may potentially have on your life. Just relax and take care of yourself. Work hard at becoming the person you want to be and make sure to have fun along the way. Don't worry so much about maturity; it will come with age and life experience. Just always keep learning and trying to improve yourself and be a better person. To tell you the truth, I should probably take my own advice...although I do seem to be getting better at it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rushrock Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 ^ It's simple: Try to be your own person and enjoy things that you like to do. I'm not saying that the majority is bad to like, but you should do things that you like to do and be an individualist. Of course there are similarities with people, but deep down nobody thinks or feels the same way about things, and people should express that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InfiniteLove Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 If there is anything you should learn out of this, thargor, is that paragraphs are a wonderful tool. Use them -- please. Its hard enough having to read through all this self pity without my eyes starting to bleed in the process. That was kind of rude. Could have actually helped and then added a little "P.S." at the end: "Use paragraphs please. Thanks!" Just have fun. Enjoy life. Be simple never look back and maybe even never look forward. Live in the moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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