tell me if you guys think this is messed up or if im overreacting...

 

 

 

My girlfriend (of 2 years) goes to her best friends house alot, and her friend's dad isn't home very often due to his job on the oil rigs. Well he was home today and my girlfriend was over at there house hanging out, and he was asking her questions about her upcoming trip to Denmark. She said he was asking her if there were any nude beaches and if she was going to go nude, and she just said no she hadn't planned on it. Well i guess he kept on telling her she should "go for it" and "it's not a bad thing!" and basically just kept on pressing the point... I'm pretty frustrated that he did that but i don't know if i'm overreacting or not

 

 

 

also apparently he slaps her bum sometimes when she walks by, but she says she doesn't think much about it because his wife and her friend don't do anything about it.

 

 

 

I've never met the guy, but tbh i want to go over 9000 on his face

tell me if you guys think this is messed up or if im overreacting...

 

 

 

My girlfriend (of 2 years) goes to her best friends house alot, and her friend's dad isn't home very often due to his job on the oil rigs. Well he was home today and my girlfriend was over at there house hanging out, and he was asking her questions about her upcoming trip to Denmark. She said he was asking her if there were any nude beaches and if she was going to go nude, and she just said no she hadn't planned on it. Well i guess he kept on telling her she should "go for it" and "it's not a bad thing!" and basically just kept on pressing the point... I'm pretty frustrated that he did that but i don't know if i'm overreacting or not

 

 

 

also apparently he slaps her bum sometimes when she walks by, but she says she doesn't think much about it because his wife and her friend don't do anything about it.

 

 

 

I've never met the guy, but tbh i want to go over 9000 on his face

 

 

 

He sounds a bit seedy with the nude beach thing. To each his own about the bum slapping - I do it to almost everyone I know and they all just laugh and do it back. It sounds like he isn't any real competition so I wouldn't worry about it, probably wouldn't change anything and it's more trouble than it's worth.

tell me if you guys think this is messed up or if im overreacting...

 

 

 

My girlfriend (of 2 years) goes to her best friends house alot, and her friend's dad isn't home very often due to his job on the oil rigs. Well he was home today and my girlfriend was over at there house hanging out, and he was asking her questions about her upcoming trip to Denmark. She said he was asking her if there were any nude beaches and if she was going to go nude, and she just said no she hadn't planned on it. Well i guess he kept on telling her she should "go for it" and "it's not a bad thing!" and basically just kept on pressing the point... I'm pretty frustrated that he did that but i don't know if i'm overreacting or not

 

 

 

also apparently he slaps her bum sometimes when she walks by, but she says she doesn't think much about it because his wife and her friend don't do anything about it.

 

 

 

I've never met the guy, but tbh i want to go over 9000 on his face

 

 

 

He's either being friendly (and being bad at it) or he's just really creepy, as IamDan put it - seedy. I say take no action until you meet the guy for yourself. Just go with your girlfrien next time she's over there.

That's really creepy...

My mom slaps my bum all the time. It irritates me but I know she does it just for fun, I'm sure you're overreacting about that part. I can't say the same about the other part, though...

I don't know, after talking about how she shouldn't be afraid to walk around in the nude, I don't think it's right to go slap her butt.

If he's been doing it after he's been talking about going nude, then there might be a problem.

oshi- wrong thread. I thought that'd never happen to me.

Thought I'd post a couple more random tips:

 

 

 

Another way to deal with 'tests' (explained in an earlier post) is to agree with them and exaggerate it.

 

examples:

 

That (item of clothing) makes you look gay.

 

That's because I am super gay, I made out with like 20 dudes today.

 

 

 

Is that some sort of pickup line?

 

Yeah my mum gave it to me, is it working?

 

 

 

No you can't have my number.

 

Good idea, I'll probably call you like 40 times a day and try to get to you meet my parents for the wedding preparations.

 

 

 

Role playing:

 

I'm going to x country for the holidays.

 

omg sounds fun, wish I could go

 

Yeah, I'll take you in my suitcase and sneak down to the baggage compartment and give you my plane peanuts. We can.... etc

 

 

 

That's it we're breaking up, you can keep the dog but I want my cd's back. You can go through a series of breakups, re-marriages, love triangles, make up sex etc.

 

 

 

his brings her though a range of emotions (read up on neuro-linguistic programming if interested in how it works) and the ability to effect her emotions (both good and bad) is one of the attraction switches I mentioned earlier.

 

 

 

3rd tip of the day is avoid trying to sell yourself. If you talk about yourself to somebody (unless it's a story) it sounds like you are selling yourself to them and portrays that you have the lower value. None of the "yeah I'm sore because I had a weight training sessions today, I benched like 400" etc.

 

 

 

Instead, if you want to demonstrate qualities, you do it through stories. To demonstrate pre-selection, instead of saying, "I have an ex gf" start a story with "A couple months ago I was at my gf's place and...." You can add something funny you did to stick up for her, that's 3 attraction switches in 1 story. You need to flip them over and over. In a story concentrate more on feelings and emotions than what happened.

 

 

 

A comedian just switches from joke to joke with no real connection, you can do the same with stories.

 

 

 

Another way is to talk up a friend. "You should meet sam he works with dolphins/he does this cool thing where he can guess your bday(explained the trick in an earlier post)/he can hold his breath for 10 minutes" Or whatever you want.

 

 

 

People align themselves with those with equal or higher value, if they aligned themselves with those of a lower value it would lower their own. If you tell them about a great friend, it raises their value. Since they have aligned them self with you, it raise your value also. Plus it raises your value further because you are being a good friend.

...what?

...what?

 

Oh, that's just Iamdan, we mostly just ignore him... :P

 

 

 

Dan, you know I'm kidding :) ... Sort of...

 

 

 

On a slightly more serious note, that is some of Iamdan's advice on how to become a smooth operator who picks up as many "chicks" as possible. I personally would be highly offended if anyone approached me with those tactics, but some people may find them useful.

...what?

 

 

 

Would make more sense if you had read my previous posts itt.

 

 

 

flying, then you're a rare case. It doesn't offend anybody else. Quite often, just for the hell of it, I tell the girl what I'm doing. I'll be honest and say I'm working on a book, and that I know what to say to attract her. Obviously they don't believe me most of the time, until I start doing things like: "You just scratched your arm, combined with the rest of the cluster I know you're attracted to me." Then go on about the scratching thing coming from chimps scratching to get their mates to pick bugs off them.

 

 

 

If someone else said that at the wrong time, they would get weirded out and probably leave. If she's already attracted and we are building rapport, the logic will change to suit the emotions. I can talk about crap like that just for fun, and they are cool with it. I think either you are lying, or you are just more uncomfortable in social situations than the people I talk to. They aren't 'tactics' and I would bet anything you wouldn't notice them if it happened anyway. Just because some people know what's go what's going on, doesn't mean it's unnatural.

I dunno why, but I seem to have lost my courage to picking up girls.

 

 

 

This is pathetic.

Anything or anyone significant come up lately?

I wouldn't call dan's tatics/given advice offending at all. Most of which are quite useful and rather legit in my opinion.

Anything or anyone significant come up lately?

 

 

 

I tried to get to know a girl today, but I couldn't get the courage to just talk to her. I also tried messaging one on Myspace but she didn't reply back. I dunno what I did, I've never insulted her, ever.

 

 

 

It's all very confusing.

Anything or anyone significant come up lately?

 

 

 

I tried to get to know a girl today, but I couldn't get the courage to just talk to her. I also tried messaging one on Myspace but she didn't reply back. I dunno what I did, I've never insulted her, ever.

 

 

 

It's all very confusing.

 

 

 

Some girls can be creeped out by random hellos and compliments from people they barely know. Others love it. Depends on the chick. In your case you could also just blame the internet. You left a myspace comment. I haven't checked my myspace in nearly 6 years. There's no guarentee she'll ever see it.

 

 

 

But I feel ya. I can't start a conversation out of the blue. I have to be forced into conversation. Ah well. Does this happen to be the girl you're going to summer school with?

It all started last year in May when I met Brittany. She was a wonderful girl. We were in a play together - as brother and sister actually, haha. Well, we hit it off. She was beautiful, nice, funny, caring... wonderful. We started dating in June. Things were going great. We loved each other.

 

 

 

In May of this year, though... I began to realize more and more that I just wasn't in love with her anymore. To add to that, she was still madly in love with me - talk of "marriage" and "eternity" came from her. I wasn't ready to marry - I'm only eighteen. And I didn't want to marry her. I didn't want to fall out of love with her, either, but it happened. She argued that I never truly loved her. Maybe she's right. I think I loved her, but now I'm doubting my old feelings.

 

 

 

Well, we had a messy breakup. She was hurt, but (thankfully) she got over it sooner than I had thought she would. She probably hates me now, which I regret, but I stand by my decision. It was the right thing to do, even if it wasn't the easiest thing to do.

 

 

 

Enter Coda. Similar to Brittany in very few ways - sarcastic where Brittany was kind and a bit naive, geeky where Brittany was preppy... scarred, tough, crude. Coda had a rough upbringing, but the fact that she had no real "issues" was a testament to her strength and character. I developed a crush on her, as she did me. It felt like Coda and I meshed a lot better overall over initial interests than Brittany and I ever did. We started going out on dates, eventually becoming a "couple", I suppose.

 

 

 

About a few weeks later, she talks to me less and less. I texted her, told her I haven't seen or talked to her in over a week (which was true), asked her if she wanted to actually get together. Her text response:

 

"Sigh. I don't. Know."

 

 

 

Well, that led to the end of us. I had actually been paranoid about something like this for the whole week, so it wasn't a huge shock. And it's not like we were in love - we dated for a month. But it hurt all the same.

 

 

 

You see, she dated this guy for a year and a half, really loved him. He broke her heart - twice. And it frustrates the hell out of me that's she still having issues with dating other guys a year later because she still wants him. I got dumped by Coda for a guy who has no interest in going back to her.

 

 

 

All my friends are getting ready to move off and go to college. They barely have any time to see me - my best friend of three years has seen me three or four times this entire summer. And not for lack of trying on my part. When I was dating Brittany, and later Coda, we hung out all the time. We had fun together. I was never lonely, like I am most nights now.

 

 

 

Here's the main problem, or problems, I suppose.

 

1. I miss Coda. I think. I see pictures of her on Facebook and have to switch the page because I don't want to look at her. I'm afraid to try talking to her about this because I never really dealt well with being rejected. I have issues too, I suppose.

 

 

 

2. I don't even really know if I miss Coda, specifically. I just miss... being with someone. I got used to it. I miss having someone to hold hands with, and snuggle on the couch with to watch movies, and to take naps with. I miss having someone look into my eyes and smile and kiss me. I don't know how to shake this feeling.

 

 

 

Me and Coda have been separated for a few weeks now. I don't think she really misses me. But I think I really miss her.

 

 

 

I just don't know what to do.

[hide=]It all started last year in May when I met Brittany. She was a wonderful girl. We were in a play together - as brother and sister actually, haha. Well, we hit it off. She was beautiful, nice, funny, caring... wonderful. We started dating in June. Things were going great. We loved each other.

 

 

 

In May of this year, though... I began to realize more and more that I just wasn't in love with her anymore. To add to that, she was still madly in love with me - talk of "marriage" and "eternity" came from her. I wasn't ready to marry - I'm only eighteen. And I didn't want to marry her. I didn't want to fall out of love with her, either, but it happened. She argued that I never truly loved her. Maybe she's right. I think I loved her, but now I'm doubting my old feelings.

 

 

 

Well, we had a messy breakup. She was hurt, but (thankfully) she got over it sooner than I had thought she would. She probably hates me now, which I regret, but I stand by my decision. It was the right thing to do, even if it wasn't the easiest thing to do.

 

 

 

Enter Coda. Similar to Brittany in very few ways - sarcastic where Brittany was kind and a bit naive, geeky where Brittany was preppy... scarred, tough, crude. Coda had a rough upbringing, but the fact that she had no real "issues" was a testament to her strength and character. I developed a crush on her, as she did me. It felt like Coda and I meshed a lot better overall over initial interests than Brittany and I ever did. We started going out on dates, eventually becoming a "couple", I suppose.

 

 

 

About a few weeks later, she talks to me less and less. I texted her, told her I haven't seen or talked to her in over a week (which was true), asked her if she wanted to actually get together. Her text response:

 

"Sigh. I don't. Know."

 

 

 

Well, that led to the end of us. I had actually been paranoid about something like this for the whole week, so it wasn't a huge shock. And it's not like we were in love - we dated for a month. But it hurt all the same.

 

 

 

You see, she dated this guy for a year and a half, really loved him. He broke her heart - twice. And it frustrates the hell out of me that's she still having issues with dating other guys a year later because she still wants him. I got dumped by Coda for a guy who has no interest in going back to her.

 

 

 

All my friends are getting ready to move off and go to college. They barely have any time to see me - my best friend of three years has seen me three or four times this entire summer. And not for lack of trying on my part. When I was dating Brittany, and later Coda, we hung out all the time. We had fun together. I was never lonely, like I am most nights now.

 

 

 

Here's the main problem, or problems, I suppose.

 

1. I miss Coda. I think. I see pictures of her on Facebook and have to switch the page because I don't want to look at her. I'm afraid to try talking to her about this because I never really dealt well with being rejected. I have issues too, I suppose.

 

 

 

2. I don't even really know if I miss Coda, specifically. I just miss... being with someone. I got used to it. I miss having someone to hold hands with, and snuggle on the couch with to watch movies, and to take naps with. I miss having someone look into my eyes and smile and kiss me. I don't know how to shake this feeling.

 

 

 

Me and Coda have been separated for a few weeks now. I don't think she really misses me. But I think I really miss her.

 

 

 

I just don't know what to do.[/hide]

 

Man, that's heavy. Summer after high school can be such a transitional period in so many ways.

 

 

 

I guess my basic advice is to take a step back from dating/relationships. It's rough not having the comfort of a partner, but mostly because it's hard not to dwell on how good it feels. To take this step back, I reccommend trying something new and exciting, possibly random. From what I gather, you've just graduated high school. This is the perfect time to try something new. Start something you've always wanted to do, get a new hobby, etc. In time, new relationships may start to form, but in your emotional state, any relationship you get into is not likely to go anywhere. This is one of the hardest things I can tell someone to do, but don't go out into the world looking for a relationship. Eventually, a relationship will likely come to you, most likely (or even hopefully) when you least expect it and are not looking for it. That's my two cents. Other people will offer different advice, saying you'll never get anywhere unless you go for it full force, but I disagree.

It all started last year in May when I met Brittany. She was a wonderful girl. We were in a play together - as brother and sister actually, haha. Well, we hit it off. She was beautiful, nice, funny, caring... wonderful. We started dating in June. Things were going great. We loved each other.

 

 

 

In May of this year, though... I began to realize more and more that I just wasn't in love with her anymore. To add to that, she was still madly in love with me - talk of "marriage" and "eternity" came from her. I wasn't ready to marry - I'm only eighteen. And I didn't want to marry her. I didn't want to fall out of love with her, either, but it happened. She argued that I never truly loved her. Maybe she's right. I think I loved her, but now I'm doubting my old feelings.

 

 

 

Well, we had a messy breakup. She was hurt, but (thankfully) she got over it sooner than I had thought she would. She probably hates me now, which I regret, but I stand by my decision. It was the right thing to do, even if it wasn't the easiest thing to do.

 

 

 

Enter Coda. Similar to Brittany in very few ways - sarcastic where Brittany was kind and a bit naive, geeky where Brittany was preppy... scarred, tough, crude. Coda had a rough upbringing, but the fact that she had no real "issues" was a testament to her strength and character. I developed a crush on her, as she did me. It felt like Coda and I meshed a lot better overall over initial interests than Brittany and I ever did. We started going out on dates, eventually becoming a "couple", I suppose.

 

 

 

About a few weeks later, she talks to me less and less. I texted her, told her I haven't seen or talked to her in over a week (which was true), asked her if she wanted to actually get together. Her text response:

 

"Sigh. I don't. Know."

 

 

 

Well, that led to the end of us. I had actually been paranoid about something like this for the whole week, so it wasn't a huge shock. And it's not like we were in love - we dated for a month. But it hurt all the same.

 

 

 

You see, she dated this guy for a year and a half, really loved him. He broke her heart - twice. And it frustrates the hell out of me that's she still having issues with dating other guys a year later because she still wants him. I got dumped by Coda for a guy who has no interest in going back to her.

 

 

 

All my friends are getting ready to move off and go to college. They barely have any time to see me - my best friend of three years has seen me three or four times this entire summer. And not for lack of trying on my part. When I was dating Brittany, and later Coda, we hung out all the time. We had fun together. I was never lonely, like I am most nights now.

 

 

 

Here's the main problem, or problems, I suppose.

 

1. I miss Coda. I think. I see pictures of her on Facebook and have to switch the page because I don't want to look at her. I'm afraid to try talking to her about this because I never really dealt well with being rejected. I have issues too, I suppose.

 

 

 

2. I don't even really know if I miss Coda, specifically. I just miss... being with someone. I got used to it. I miss having someone to hold hands with, and snuggle on the couch with to watch movies, and to take naps with. I miss having someone look into my eyes and smile and kiss me. I don't know how to shake this feeling.

 

 

 

Me and Coda have been separated for a few weeks now. I don't think she really misses me. But I think I really miss her.

 

 

 

I just don't know what to do.

 

 

 

That's rough. Honestly as you admitted to, you have abit of an issue. You have a dependancy problem. And it stems from the pit fall of having a long term highschool relationship. It's unfortunate but it happens quite often. I recommend getting accustomed to being by yourself for a while. Once you don't mind the feeling of lonelyness anymore, you'll seem less clingy to future love interests. You're fresh outta highschool so there's a whole new world out there for you to discover. Go discover it and focus on yourself. Improve yourself. It's normal to miss old relationships from time to time, but you can't let it control you. In time, you'll meet someone new and likely better. I wish you the best of luck.

Thanks, you two. I really needed to get that off my mind. Your advice helps.

 

 

 

 

 

I recently just got a drumset, kind of teaching myself how to play better. It's a pretty good distraction. I'm going out with some friends this weekend, that'll help distract me too.

I'm mad. This girl has ignored all my messages. It's ridiculous. I even asked her why and she ignored that one too.

 

 

 

Many girls these days are ridiculous.

I'm mad. This girl has ignored all my messages. It's ridiculous. I even asked her why and she ignored that one too.

 

 

 

Many girls these days are ridiculous.

 

You probably came off as a stalker or trying to hit on her.

I'm mad. This girl has ignored all my messages. It's ridiculous. I even asked her why and she ignored that one too.

 

 

 

Many girls these days are ridiculous.

 

You probably came off as a stalker or trying to hit on her.

 

Yeah, "all my messages". :lol: Why don't you just move along and talk to another girl? It's not like you're attached to this one.

I'm mad. This girl has ignored all my messages. It's ridiculous. I even asked her why and she ignored that one too.

 

 

 

Many girls these days are ridiculous.

 

You probably came off as a stalker or trying to hit on her.

 

Yeah, "all my messages". :lol: Why don't you just move along and talk to another girl? It's not like you're attached to this one.

 

 

 

Well, I didn't mean it that way, I only sent two.

 

 

 

And I know, I find this much easier to do in real life personally.