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what if WW2 was a strategy game?


paul_wilson

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If World War Two had been a RTS (real time strategy) game, it would have gone a little something like this....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Hitler[AoE] has joined the game.*

 

 

 

*Eisenhower has joined the game.*

 

 

 

*paTTon has joined the game.*

 

 

 

*Churchill has joined the game.*

 

 

 

*benny-tow has joined the game.*

 

 

 

*T0J0 has joined the game.*

 

 

 

*Roosevelt has joined the game.*

 

 

 

*Stalin has joined the game.*

 

 

 

*deGaulle has joined the game.*

 

 

 

Roosevelt: hey sup

 

 

 

T0J0: y0

 

 

 

Stalin: hi

 

 

 

Churchill: hi

 

 

 

Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks!

 

 

 

paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks

 

 

 

T0JO: lol

 

 

 

Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression!

 

 

 

benny-tow: haha america sux

 

 

 

Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool?

 

 

 

Hitler[AoE]; sure whatever

 

 

 

Stalin: cool

 

 

 

deGaulle: **** Hitler rushed some1 help

 

 

 

Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy

 

 

 

Roosevelt: i dont got **** to help, sry

 

 

 

Churchill: wtf the luftwaffle is attacking me

 

 

 

Roosevelt: get antiair guns

 

 

 

Churchill: i cant afford them

 

 

 

benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is?

 

 

 

paTTon: stfu

 

 

 

Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys

 

 

 

deGaulle: eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick

 

 

 

Eisenhower: i cant do **** til rosevelt gives me an army

 

 

 

paTTon: yah hurry the fock up

 

 

 

Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded

 

 

 

deGaulle: this is fockin weak u guys suck

 

 

 

*deGaulle has left the game.*

 

 

 

Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k?

 

 

 

benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair?

 

 

 

benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head?

 

 

 

Hitler[AoE]: ROFLMAO

 

 

 

T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u

 

 

 

Roosevelt: wtf! thats bullsh1t u [bleep]s im gunna kick ur [wagon]

 

 

 

T0JO: not without ur harbors u wont! lol

 

 

 

Roosevelt: u little biotch ill get u

 

 

 

Hitler[AoE]: wtf

 

 

 

Hitler[AoE]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge fockin army

 

 

 

Hitler[AoE]: thats bullsh1t u hacker

 

 

 

Churchill: lol no more france for u hitler

 

 

 

Hitler[AoE]: tojo help me!

 

 

 

T0J0: wtf u want me to do, im on the other side of the world [developmentally delayed]

 

 

 

Hitler[AoE]: fine ill clear you a path

 

 

 

Stalin: WTF u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE

 

 

 

Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol

 

 

 

benny-tow: haha

 

 

 

benny-tow: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1

 

 

 

T0J0: o **** i cant help u i got my hands full

 

 

 

Hitler[AoE]: im 2 busy 2 help

 

 

 

Roosevelt: yah thats right ***** im comin for ya

 

 

 

Stalin: church help me

 

 

 

Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here

 

 

 

Stalin: dont be an arss

 

 

 

Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late

 

 

 

Eisenhower: LOL

 

 

 

benny-tow: hahahh oh sh1t help

 

 

 

Hitler: o man ur focked

 

 

 

paTTon: oh what now biotch

 

 

 

Roosevelt: whos the cripple now lol

 

 

 

*benny-tow has been eliminated.*

 

 

 

benny-tow: lame

 

 

 

Roosevelt: gj patton

 

 

 

paTTon: thnx

 

 

 

Hitler[AoE]: WTF eisenhower hax hes killing all my sh1t

 

 

 

Hitler[AoE]: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record

 

 

 

Eisenhower: Nuts!

 

 

 

benny~tow: wtf that mean?

 

 

 

Eisenhower: meant to say nutsack lol finger slipped

 

 

 

paTTon: coming to get u hitler u paper hanging hun [roosters]ocker

 

 

 

Stalin: rofl

 

 

 

T0J0: HAHAHHAA

 

 

 

Hitler[AoE]: u guys are fockin gay

 

 

 

Hitler[AoE]: ur never getting in my city

 

 

 

*Hitler[AoE] has been eliminated.*

 

 

 

benny~tow: OMG u noob you killed yourself

 

 

 

Eisenhower: ROFLOLOLOL

 

 

 

Stalin: OMG LMAO!

 

 

 

Hitler[AoE]: WTF i didnt click there omg this game blows

 

 

 

*Hitler[AoE] has left the game*

 

 

 

paTTon: hahahhah

 

 

 

T0J0: WTF my teammates are n00bs

 

 

 

benny~tow: shut up noob

 

 

 

Roosevelt: haha wut a moron

 

 

 

paTTon: wtf am i gunna do now?

 

 

 

Eisenhower: yah me too

 

 

 

T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol

 

 

 

Eisenhower: fock u

 

 

 

paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie

 

 

 

Stalin: go to hell lol

 

 

 

paTTon: fock this sh1t im goin afk

 

 

 

Eisenhower: yah this is gay

 

 

 

*Roosevelt has left the game.*

 

 

 

Hitler[AoE]: wtf?

 

 

 

Eisenhower: sh1t now we need some1 to join

 

 

 

*tru_m4n has joined the game.*

 

 

 

tru_m4n: hi all

 

 

 

T0J0: hey

 

 

 

Stalin: sup

 

 

 

Churchill: hi

 

 

 

tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff!

 

 

 

tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY **** I GOT NUKES

 

 

 

Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz

 

 

 

tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple

 

 

 

Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets

 

 

 

T0J0: wtf is nukes?

 

 

 

T0J0: holy ****holy****hoyl****!

 

 

 

*T0J0 has been eliminated.*

 

 

 

*The Allied team has won the game!*

 

 

 

Eisenhower: awesome!

 

 

 

Churchill: gg noobs no re

 

 

 

T0J0: thats bull**** u fockin suck

 

 

 

*T0J0 has left the game.*

 

 

 

*Eisenhower has left the game.*

 

 

 

Stalin: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me for ****

 

 

 

Churchill: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway dumbarss

 

 

 

tru_m4n: l8r all

 

 

 

benny~tow: bye

 

 

 

Churchill: l8r

 

 

 

Stalin: fock u all

 

 

 

tru_m4n: shut up commie lol

 

 

 

*tru_m4n has left the game.*

 

 

 

benny~tow: lololol u commie

 

 

 

Churchill: ROFL

 

 

 

Churchill: bye commie

 

 

 

*Churchill has left the game.*

 

 

 

*benny~tow has left the game.*

 

 

 

Stalin: i hate u all [bleep]s

 

 

 

*Stalin has left the game.*

 

 

 

paTTon: lol no1 is left

 

 

 

paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep

 

 

 

*paTTon has been eliminated.*

 

 

 

paTTon: o sh1t!

 

 

 

*paTTon has left the game*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i didnt write this i found it on bar.baen.com

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hehe, that was funny. made me laugh lol :lol:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k?

 

 

 

benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair?

 

 

 

benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head?

 

 

 

Hitler[AoE]: ROFLMAO

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

loved that part :lol:

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Stalin: church help me

 

 

 

Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here

 

 

 

Stalin: dont be an arss

 

 

 

Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late

 

 

 

Eisenhower: LOL

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hilarious.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This really made me laugh. Very amusing way to twist something so horrid.

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By The_Jeppoz :wink:

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lol pretty funny, but whos patton and is the guild aoe supposed to be funny?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Patton was an American general in Europe. A famous quote of his is

 

 

 

The object of war is not to die for your country. It is to make the other poor b*stard die for his.
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lol pretty funny, but whos patton and is the guild aoe supposed to be funny?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Patton was the American General who led the allied divisions through France and stormed Berlin from the west (Battle of the Bulge). AoE is kind of a given, if not dumb question. Axis of Evil.

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Gamertag: King Arizona

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lol pretty funny, but whos patton and is the guild aoe supposed to be funny?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Patton was the American General who led the allied divisions through France and stormed Berlin from the west (Battle of the Bulge). AoE is kind of a given, if not dumb question. Axis of Evil.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AoE, i was thinking of age of empires. And when i think of axis of evil it's not the WWII "axis of evil". They're normally called the axis powers..

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lol pretty funny, but whos patton and is the guild aoe supposed to be funny?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Patton was the American General who led the allied divisions through France and stormed Berlin from the west (Battle of the Bulge). AoE is kind of a given, if not dumb question. Axis of Evil.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AoE, i was thinking of age of empires. And when i think of axis of evil it's not the WWII "axis of evil". They're normally called the axis powers..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Didn't think about Age of Empires, but I thought since it was a WWII game, Axis of Evil would make sense, sorry for that rude comment.

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Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks!

 

 

 

paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks

 

 

 

T0JO: lol

 

 

 

Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression!

 

 

 

benny-tow: haha america sux

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

haha that was great

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

paTTon: lol no1 is left

 

 

 

paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep

 

 

 

*paTTon has been eliminated.*

 

 

 

paTTon: o sh1t!

 

 

 

*paTTon has left the game*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and this was just excessive lol :lol:

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Ive seen an " IRC " version of world war 2 similar to this one. :lol:

The Enrichment Center reminds you that the weighted companion cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak.

 

In the event that the weighted companion cube does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice.

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Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks!

 

 

 

paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks

 

 

 

T0JO: lol

 

 

 

Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression!

 

 

 

benny-tow: haha america sux

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

haha that was great

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

paTTon: lol no1 is left

 

 

 

paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep

 

 

 

*paTTon has been eliminated.*

 

 

 

paTTon: o sh1t!

 

 

 

*paTTon has left the game*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and this was just excessive lol :lol:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Patton died in a car accident after WWII, I did a report on him in elementary school (4th or 5th grade) I can't believe I still remember that it was like 10 years ago 0_0

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyways this was clever and funny :P

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136 Combat, 2290+ Skill Total

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T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pretty funny, but by this time in the game, US had rebuilt the Pacific Navy and was already hammering away at Japan.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Battle of Midway (Turning point in the Pacific) was on June 4, 1942, and VE day was May 8, 1945

Look, if your mom still drops you off at school, you ain't gangsta, pull up your damn pants!

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