I really do hate my family sometimes

[IGoddessI]

Wtf maet, he has a choice wether or not he wants to go, he doesn't have to if he doesn't want to. Stop forcing your godamn opinions down people's throats. If someone close to you doesn't turn up to your kid's birthday party, you can go berate them all you want, but Jesus Christ, calm the [bleep] down, this isn't even your affair.

 

 

 

When you post your problem and whinge about it on a forum, it's going to be discussed. And sometimes you're not going to hear what you want to hear. Get over it 'maet'.

 

 

A 9 year old doesn't care who shows up to his birthday. All a 9 year old cares about is what kind of loot he gets. I can understand why the mom would be angry but the kid doesn't care as long as he's getting free stuff.

 

 

 

That's a generalization. Please show me the correlation of all 9 year old's who don't care who shows up to their birthday party. He may have cared, he may not have.

 

 

 

Btw if he says he hasn't seen them in 12 years, yet last time he saw his cousin they didn't get along and now he is 9, logic says that it hasn't really been 12 years.

[evil_mumm_ra]

Who gives a crap if the kid didn't care. A 26 year old should know better. Unless there was a very good reason for not going for example his little cousin bites him, kicks him, spits on him etc

 

 

 

As for the mother, none of you are parents so don't even go there. I agree she's not helping by going over there but I also completely understand that she's acting out of anger and you would NOT know what that's like until you have kids. And I'm pretty sure you're aware that just because you didn't care when you were 9, doesn't mean for even a second, that this kid shouldn't.

 

 

 

doesn't matter if you are a parent or not. i'm fairly sure i can figure out what the mom of the kid is thinking, it's not that difficult, and it's not a reason to get completely uber pissed off. things don't suddenly change when you become a parent unless you get pregnant as a teen or make some stupid decision and suddenly realize what life is about. in that case, it's just somebody making a bad decision and getting shocked by real life. having a kid isn't going to change my opinion on this.

 

 

 

also, as stated above, he hasn't seen this part of his family for 12 years, the kid doesn't even know him. from what it sounds like, he's not exactly a family member that the rest of his family is hyping up and talking about all the time. thusly no exceptional desire for him to be there for the kid would have existed, therefore it's just another x amount of time until they actually do meet. it's not going to matter to the kid at all. i'm agreeing with you that the TC should have gone though. but whatever.

[Madmanpur3]

Speaking from personal experience, it's no big deal if you miss a cousin's birthday party...especially when there's a 17 year difference. I've missed hundreds of my cousin's birthday parties over the years and dozens of cousins have missed my birthday parties. Hell, when I was 9 I only had 2 out of 50+ cousins come to my party.

 

 

 

People who think there's some imaginary pact that comes with family members need to wake up (in my opinion). I've already told my parents that if ever the time comes where they doesn't deserve my love, I won't give it to them just because they're my parents - and my dad's already come pretty damn close, but we've had some talks about it.

[doomy]

If the 9 year old cried it was because he didn't get the present he would have gotten, not the fact his cousin wasn't there.

 

 

 

It's just how people that age work.

 

 

 

The kids mum is just making a too big deal about it to be honest.

[ScottSza]

Did your aunt actually come over?

[Rainy_Day]

I have no bonds what-so-ever with my Dad's side of the family. We talk, but I never really have a family connection. I always address them with their real names and so forth. They have never really made any real effort with me, so I failed to see the need to give anything back. His mum is coming down this weekend, but I'll 'unfortunately' be out most of the time, which doesn't really bother me. :? I wouldn't say missing a mere birthday of a cousin is a big deal anyway, especially if you haven't turned up on prior occassions. :|

[Lateralus]

I don't feel any obligation to my family at all. My immediate family and my dad's parents are the only ones who I know and like, so they're the only ones I ever see.

[ElkNight]

I guess I'm lucky, I like all my family. At least most of the time. :lol:

[ThurinEthir]

I don't like people in general, I'd rather stay home alone than go hang out with friends or to a family gathering.

 

But I often do it anyway. Out of respect, out of politeness. And with the hope that something good might actually happen.

 

And if I don't go, I get yelled at by people like my sister. For making my own decisions. :|

 

(Seriously, it's your life. If other people expect you to waste a few hours to sit there and do nothing so their kid might feel better about himself, then they may want to wake up.)

 

My cousins on my mom's side are all pretty old, except 1. Some ~15 years older than me, I think. I barely even know any of them. I mean, there's the whole language barrier and all that, but still.

[Madmanpur3]

I guess I'm lucky, I like all my family. At least most of the time. :lol:

 

I wouldn't say lucky, just means you don't have a large family.

[Nom]

12 years, and the kid is 9. So you don't even know the kid? Yup, the Aunt it just convinced that the world revolves around her [and her son]. My take, anyways.

 

 

 

Yeah I'm still trying to figure out why a 9-year-old would care that someone he's never met before didn't come to his birthday party. If it was me, even now, I'd be more relieved to avoid awkwardness. I have a very large extended family and without fail there are people I've never seen before whenever there is a family gathering. Rather uncomfortable.

[IGoddessI]

I'm still trying to figure out if he has met him or not. It's unclear when he says he doesn't like his mom's side of the family which specific members are being referred to. Because if he doesn't like this cousin, then he has met him. He also mentions that he does like one of his cousins and it's also unclear who is being referred to. The cousin who had the party, or another cousin. Because if he has never met him before then his aunty is a nut case.

[ElkNight]

I guess I'm lucky, I like all my family. At least most of the time. :lol:

 

I wouldn't say lucky, just means you don't have a large family.

 

I have about 20 or so aunts and uncles and to many cousins to count. ;)

[Distracted]

I guess I'm lucky, I like all my family. At least most of the time. :lol:

 

I wouldn't say lucky, just means you don't have a large family.

 

I have about 20 or so aunts and uncles and to many cousins to count. ;)

 

 

 

20 or so aunts or uncles? As in brothers and sisters of your parents?!

[aquariusman]

^Probably only a dozen or so are blood-relatives.

[ElkNight]

My mom has 9-10 brothers and sisters and my dad has 9-10 brothers and sisters.

 

I forget the exact numbers.

[Zierro]

I think everyone has those moments when they hate their family. It's quite a phenomenon how easily people can forgive and forget when it has to do with their family. I've literally had fights that lasted seconds with my family and then we forgave each other and did something fun together.

[Madmanpur3]

I guess I'm lucky, I like all my family. At least most of the time. :lol:

 

I wouldn't say lucky, just means you don't have a large family.

 

I have about 20 or so aunts and uncles and to many cousins to count. ;)

 

Ah, my mom has 12 brothers and sisters, my dad has 11 brothers and sisters, and of the 23 only 2 aren't married so a grand total of 44 aunts and uncles. Each family has an average of about 4 kids too so I have upwards of 80 first cousins and 25+ second cousins...definately don't like all my family. Unless you're counting "I can stand them" as "liking" them, because I can stand most of my family on either side, but most of them I really only see once or twice a year let alone talk to once or twice a year.

[ElkNight]

Dang, I forgot to count their husbands and wifes. :lol:

 

But I like them all most of the time, only sometimes do a few get annoying.

[Madmanpur3]

Dang, I forgot to count their husbands and wifes. :lol:

 

But I like them all most of the time, only sometimes do a few get annoying.

 

Try having a cousin who has a legitimate crush on you. :wall: Then throw in an uncle who changes his name to Adam (because he wants to be like Adam from the creation story in the Bible), up and divorces his wife when they have 5 kids so he can go meet some girls he met online (from Ukraine), then starts practicing knife throwing for self defense for his trip to Ukraine. I could go on about a few more, but for the most part the rest of them are semi-normal human beings. :thumbup:

[bbalking]

The concept of 'family' just annoys me, why do we have to put ourselves through hours of pointless moments just because we're family. Ugh.

[Hydra_55555]

These problems are alien to me, I only have 4 members in my 'family': grandparents, an uncle and my mum. Not going to labour on with the details, but suffice to say I don't know ANYONE from my dad's side, and barely know him. As such with a small family, we all get on well pretty much 99.9% of the time.

 

 

 

I've never missed any of their birthdays etc unless it's been for a legitimate reason (we aren't in the same country at the time), but if I did have extended family I would never dream of pulling this stunt no matter how much I didn't like those people. In situations like this, you can pretty much guarantee that others will be there who are thinking the exact same thing as you so just pass time with them. Force yourself to like them, if you want.

 

 

 

Just because your 26, you do not have a 'pass-go-skip-a-child's-birthday' card, whether or not they care that you're there is irrelevant. Surely that makes you the bigger man by showing your face even though you know it won't be appreciated by everyone.

 

 

 

P.S. For those claiming that opinions like these are being 'shoved down their throats', answer this: if you won't make an effot for your own relatives, who will you make an effort for?

[Madmanpur3]

P.S. For those claiming that opinions like these are being 'shoved down their throats', answer this: if you won't make an effot for your own relatives, who will you make an effort for?

 

For people I know and care about, provided they want me there.

[ThurinEthir]

 

P.S. For those claiming that opinions like these are being 'shoved down their throats', answer this: if you won't make an effot for your own relatives, who will you make an effort for?

 

I would never do something just because "it's for my relatives."

 

I know, I know, there ought to be some loyalty. And there is. But just because someone is my relative doesn't automatically place them up high on some pedestal. They still have to earn my respect, like everyone else. It may be easier, but I would never blindly follow a relative without good reason. (And being a family member is not one)

 

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for filial piety and whatnot. But I fail to see how being a relative automatically forces me to obey someone.

[IGoddessI]

P.S. For those claiming that opinions like these are being 'shoved down their throats', answer this: if you won't make an effot for your own relatives, who will you make an effort for?

 

 

 

I try to make an effort for most people, even people I've never met. In return I notice that when things aren't going well with me, I do get many visitors turn up to my house, phone calls to ask how I'm doing, text full of virtual hugs, or strangers offering their advice, pms on a forum, wishes on a thread, e-cards to cheer me up etc Not that I expect it back but it does make you realize how many people you have helped or inspired. And it is a good feeling. I think if we were 'forcing opinions down people's throats' then we wouldn't have such a positive outcome. And that's probably why you do get along 99.9% of the time with your family members.