MAJOR Relationship Problems...

[Sirgatory]

Alright, well, this is a very "unique" problem I'm having with a girl, and i'd like to tell you all about it, so help me PLEASE.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you want to read this whole thing, then it's appreciated. But a summary is available in the post below.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_______________________________

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, to start off, I met this girl in the beginning of 4th grade. Our parents got us together to "play" one day, and we became great friends because of it.

 

 

 

Over the months..I began to develop real feelings for her, and in the middle of 5th grade, I finally blurted to my friends how I felt about her. The information soon leaked from them and she got to hear about it. i then found out that she liked me like that as well.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, I asked her to the upcoming "social" that the school provided for us. She said yes, and I had butterflies in my stomach up until the day of the social. We got there, and she immediately started hanging out with her friends. I felt left out, so I hung out with mine. As you can tell, it didn't work out to well for us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We stayed friends, and the next year in 6th grade I had one of her friends ask her if she still liked me in that way. Her friend said that she said yes, and I debated on whether or not to ask her out again. I ended up not doing it, and didn't say anything about "going out" with her until,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

8th grade when I asked her to the graduation dance. She said no, and when she did i asked one of her other friends to see if she still liked me as more than a friend. Her friend told me she had said yes again, and all I could help to think was, "WTF?".

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So I decided to find out for myself, this year, my freshman year of highschool. Last week i asked her if she had changed her mind about going out with me. Being the shy person she is, she hesitated on saying "umm, yes", and already being late to homeroom, asked if we could talk later.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So we did, and here's our convo:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me: so, you changed your mind? you want to go out with me?

 

 

 

Her: Well, I really really like you, but I'm worried what it will do to our friendship.

 

 

 

Me: Yeah, i'm sure something could happen, but don't you want to at least give it a shot?

 

 

 

Her: umm, let me decide, i'll tell you later ok?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, the next day i ask her if she decided, she said yes, and i said, "alright?"

 

 

 

She says, "can we stay friends for now?"

 

 

 

Me: "why?"

 

 

 

Her:"well, when i'm not with you, I want to go out with you, but when i am, I just wanna be your friend"

 

 

 

I failed for words there, said ok, and she got off the bus.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now I'm confused, is there anything I could/should do? I mean I'm literally IN LOVE with this girl, and I don't want to wait any longer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE.

[Sirgatory]

Sorry for the double post..but I dont think the summary would fit in with that post. If a mod wants me to merge it, tell me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SUMMARY:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, I've liked this girl for 5 years, and she liked me for 5 years too. We're just major chickens and couldnt talk to each other. I asked her out last week and she said she'd think about it. She told me she did want to go out with me, but she wanted to be friends too. she chose friends over BF/GF, but she still likes me as more than a friend or family. I truly LOVE this girl, and I want to be more than friends.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

is there anything I could/should do?

[knives669]

All I can really say is just be a friend to her. Be there for her, and she'll realize what a great friend you are.

 

 

 

Good luck to you!

[insane]

You're going to hate me for saying this but - you're only a freshman - just be her friend, any relationship that's going to go anywhere can wait until later than 14 years of age.

[Sirgatory]

Heh, i shouldn't have put my age in there, people will tell me i'm too young.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But disregard my age, because if you knew us, you'd know we're a lot more mature than most 14 year olds could ever be :wink:

[insane]

Heh, i shouldn't have put my age in there, people will tell me i'm too young.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But disregard my age, because if you knew us, you'd know we're a lot more mature than most 14 year olds could ever be :wink:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That's what I thought when I was 14 :P problem is, you're looking through tainted glass.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wouldn't you tell a 10yr old that they're too young?

[Sirgatory]

Yes, yes, ok. I get your point. :P

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But i'd also like to see what others that are my age think as well.

[AThousandLies]

Play the waiting game. She's obviously a bit confused about what to do, so for now be her friend. Be a close friend; but don't do it for the sake of physicality; but because you love and care about her. Let her know that you're there if she wants a shoulder to cry on, and that even though you like her, you're thnakful enough to just be her friend.

[weezcake]

She doesn't want to lose you as a friend. My advice: stay friends. :)

[007007008plp]

Stay friends....in a few more years (like when your 16/17) see what your relationship with her is like then.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I've known this girl who im in love with for about 3 years now. We keep telling each other how much we feel about each other (on the net, msn...etc) but when we are at school...if sorta different, i know its not me because shes told me that she doesn't know what to do....she scared of messing up our friendship....we going out on friday (the friday coming up next) so im hoping to have a talk with her n....no im not gonna talk im gonna tell her i love her and im gonna kiss her, i've done that b4 and it worked...but then we had a massive fall out because i went out and got drunk n ended up getting with this lass (who is one of my close friends).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

anyway i sorter wondered off the subject there....this is about u not me...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

like i and some others have said, stay friends, wait a few more years then see what happens

[Bubsa]

...I don't get it. Your partner should be your best friend.

 

 

 

Something's amiss here.

[flipflop121]

flowers, chocolate and a romantic poem always work.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

eg of a poem that sounds good

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

roses are red

 

 

 

violets are blue

 

 

 

i love your smile

 

 

 

and i love you

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

corney i no :P, anyway its worth a shot

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

all the advise i can give ya

[hammerhand]

As for what you should do. I haven't the slightest idea, sounds like one of those things girls do sometimes that guys never fully understand.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As for weither or not your "too young"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well freshmen is normally too young but there are exeptions to every rule. A perfect exeption is that my brother started dateing his girlfriend when he was a junior (in highschool) and she was a freshman (highschool) no shes a junor and hes a collage freshman and they are still going out and I do not see and end to it. There just are no absolutes when it comes to these things.

[Lionheart_0]

...I don't get it. Your partner should be your best friend.

 

 

 

Something's amiss here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ahh Very true! If she does like you when not with you... perhaps she is just really shy?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As for the people saying "Your to young"! Ignore them. Its the perfect year to start experementing (I mean just in a realationship... not other ways....). But also remember, she is your good friend, and that is preatty special to know someone that long, and be friends. So i suggest you think it over. You have two options. Continue to try and get her to go out with you by showing her you feell about her deeply, or just be friends.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Trust me, there are many fish in the sea :wink: Im just learning that.

[Scruffy5389]

Stay close friends and wait is what I'd say. What else can you do? She knows you're interested, and if you stay close to her she might get used to the idea.

[Sirgatory]

Alright, i'll wait then. That seems to be the most popular answer, so i'll do it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But really, THANK YOU ALL for taking your time and responding to this. I think it helped a lot.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:)

[assassin_696]

Remain friends, let her make the first move, or wait until things develop. It'll come, good things come to those who wait *cue guinness ad*

[Ape]

She doesn't want to lose you as a friend. My advice: stay friends. :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I agree, I think that she may think that if you do go out, row or argue over something and split up, you won't be freinds.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, as many of the others have said, play the waiting game. If she wants you enough, she'll say. Just say "On one condition; we'll stay freinds forever." Or something like that which will make her feel more comfortable in your relationship.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

OffTopic: Gosh, the OT board is turning into a Love Handling board.

 

 

 

Suggestion: MAKE A LOVE HANDLING BOARD! :D

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

//Mitch

[Faux]

Reminds me of myself several months ago.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's funny how we have almost the same thing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The girl (name's Kres) I liked [also] liked me since gr. 4 (When we were still in the Philippines) She moved [at gr. 4] to Canada and I moved when I was in gr. 6. Our family are close friends and almost every party, we're invited to each other's place.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As of last February, my brother and sister started sleeping over their place (note, this is before me and Kresleen were together). AFter 2-3 visits, they asked me to sleep over too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By the weekend of March Break, I was dared/bet by her (Kres) that I can't kiss her. (I was being cocky and said that I wake up earlier than her and I can kiss her if I wanted to). In the end, I kissed her and asked if I wanted to sleep with her. We slept, I asked her if she wants to be mine, she says yes. 7th month as of 2 days ago and we're still happy. Oh and we were 14 too, but 15 now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CLiffs: Story has nothing to do with the thread. Carlo just love talking about it. Prolly best night of my life yet :D :oops:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyway, you have bad luck. Too bad she doesn't wanna take it further. Best thing you can do is wait or if not, try someone else.

[xxept0]

^^^ Tsk tsk tsk.... Naughty shadow! *whacks hand*. There are children in here!!! Sides, we don't wanna know the details!! *shields kids eyes*. :lol:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But yea, what everyone ELSE says is true. It's probably best to wait it out until you're ready. I'm still regreting my first and only relationship (broke up end of June this year). I haven't recovered, the pain is still there, and sometime i wished me and him waited a little while longer, until we were both matured enough to handle a relationship. (he's 17, I'm 15, but we ALL know that girls mature faster than guys!! 8) ) *snaps back to usual cherpy self*

[Death_By_Pod]

Heh, i shouldn't have put my age in there, people will tell me i'm too young.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But disregard my age, because if you knew us, you'd know we're a lot more mature than most 14 year olds could ever be :wink:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:roll: What till your in your twenties and you will look back and realise how immature you are. You have no idea how immature kids can be because youÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢re a kid yourself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

YouÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢re in the friend zone and it seems like you will never leave that zone. Some Girls are like that, once you are their friend you can never be their girlfriend. Stay friends with her and you never know maybe she will change her mind as she gets older but I doubt it.

[Kwisatz]

PLEASE keep in mind that it is not necessary to have a boyfriend/girlfriend at 14. What many of my friends do not understand is that it's not like an object; you have to actually be able to talk to and at least have some kind of common ground with the person you go out with and not just lust for their body, or date everyone within a little group you're in. I've been out with ONE person since the beginning of 8th grade (I'm a freshman too), and I have no regrets. I know at least two girls who like me, but quite honestly, they are not necessarily people whom I would like to associate with. Call me grown up, but that's just the way I feel. That, and my parents literally harass me about these kinds of things.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For instance, I am good friends within a little group, which consists of Girls A, B, C, D, E, and F, and guys Me, A, B, and C. Guy A is my friend, and he has asked EVERY SINGLE GIRL OUT. As of yet, A has gone out with him, and B will go out with him after C is done going to homecoming with him. C knows about him dumping her after homecoming for B, and is just fine with it. I don't know about you, but I'm a very straightfoward person when it comes to emotions - I'm happy, pi[i[[/i]ssed, neutral, partying, nervous, or intellectual, and that's about it. I am quite tired of all this soap opera BS and all this "promiscuity," and it's not the way I think people my age should operate.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, in a nutshell, I am not really qualified to answer your question, as I don't date and dump in a week like many of my peers do, and I don't know about this whole friend/girlfriend thing being impossible, but I'll say this much - just wait and see what develops.

[Faux]

^^^ Tsk tsk tsk.... Naughty shadow! *whacks hand*. There are children in here!!! Sides, we don't wanna know the details!! *shields kids eyes*. :lol:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But yea, what everyone ELSE says is true. It's probably best to wait it out until you're ready. I'm still regreting my first and only relationship (broke up end of June this year). I haven't recovered, the pain is still there, and sometime i wished me and him waited a little while longer, until we were both matured enough to handle a relationship. (he's 17, I'm 15, but we ALL know that girls mature faster than guys!! 8) ) *snaps back to usual cherpy self*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pfft, when I said sleep, I literally meant sleep :P although we did things..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And sorry about your relationship, I just know that we're not going to end up like that :wink:

[Smavey]

I hate saying this to you but: She doesen't like you. :( .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The line

"Well, I really really like you, but I'm worried what it will do to our friendship. "

is a very common line that girls (and guys) say. What it really means is something along the lines of "I like you as a friend but i do not like you "that" way, or I don't like you enough to be my boyfriend/girlfriend"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know this 100% forsure because I actually used it myself last monday when after It would have been me as the girl in your sitiuation and a girl in your exact situation).What I personnaly was really thinking as I said it was "there is someone else I like and you are a good person don't like you that way and if i went out with you i woulden't have a chance to go out with _____"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The line:

"umm, let me decide, i'll tell you later ok? ", and "she'd think about it."

really means that she is going to her friends to tell them what happened and to ask them for advice. In a sceneario where she did like you she would have been like "yes!" :?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know you like her, so the BEST thing to do is to BE YOURSELF, don't ask her again, and keep flirting with her but don't be too nosey and forwardy. Being really pushy and asking her out a lot can be a turn off. Even on msn conversations i would recommend waiting for her to talk to you, or waiting two minutes or so to talk to her. The relationship will come by it'self but it will take a little time. 8) Don't lose your cool.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And for the age thing, remember that although it "is too young" and that you aren't "emotionally ready" for that kind of relationship at that age, It doesn't hurt to practise.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

60% of people in high school graduate without dating once!

[J272]

I hate saying this to you but: She doesen't like you. :( .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This could possibly be very true, though since I cant directly observe, I dont know for sure....

 

 

 

Anyway, only you can tell....Test it out....See if she has liked you for the past 5 yrs, as you think she has....If you're the type of guy not shy of asking her friends, then ask them as well, but since she doesnt want to pursue anything other....DO NOT PUSH IT :?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If its meant to be it'll happen...If its not, it shouldn't(notice how I didn't say won't)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But yes, you are only 14....Trust me, you dont want to get into anything at that age.....It'll just be annoying and hurtful in the end. Lol, there was this girl that liked me in the....6th or 7th grade ages ago...One day she failed a Tech test that I aced.....She thought I was laughing at her and started crying hysterically.....Ya......lol..... she also slapped me for touching something on her backpack....even though it wasnt me....Somehow I dont think it would have worked out anyway....cuz....she wasnt my type.....Hmm....Im way off subject now.....sorry :( ....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

J272