Tavern Tussle

[archimage_a]

As the large fish like machine appears Retech starts imagining it. :thumbsup:

[Jehosaphat]

Starting to become sober, I grab Hex and throw him on top of the pyramid and begin beating him with rocks, yelling "DIE OR THE VEGATABLE GODS WILL WREAK VENGEANCE!!!"

[Retech]

Pokes Hex in the eyes.

[archimage_a]

"Hmmm, my Tavern senses are tingling"

 

Kicks Retech through the tavern door "GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!"

[TTanT]

I pull out a keg that says "finest whisky" on it, and begin guzzling.

 

Turns out, it's full of hydrochloric acid.

 

However, as I writhe in agony on the ground, I figure that this is a better fate than having to watch Hex do stuff with donkeys.

 

 

The barrel of acid crashes into the other kegs, which unleash a torrent of acid through the area.

 

((These barrels were here, as I took them with me from the last area.))

 

I then am magically alive again, despite being washed in acid.

 

I am also wearing leather and high heeled boots. I begin whipping Hex.

[Retech]

That paints a picture that I don't wanna think of. I come back into the tavern with a set of extendable arms and begin poking everyone in the eyes with them.

[Seraphi]

My eyes are made of titanium.

 

You now have broken fingers.

[Retech]

Ow, broken extendable fingers. <_<

 

Hits Ross over the head with a chair and throws a stool.

[TTanT]

I starting whipping retech with a second whip in my left hand. (The first being in my right is smacking Hex).

 

A third whip which I hold in my mouth is targeted at ross.

[The Dark Lord]

I light my drunken piss on fire, which happens to be pooled around TTan's feet. He catches on fire.

[Harakiri]

The magician has stood in the corner, watching the random nudity and illusions of Hextriplet. Deciding that Hex is perhaps the most mentally insane or handicapped person in the world, he somehow controls his teleporting powers to take him to Hex's mom's house to see ask why he is so messed up.

He forgot he took a bunch of sex crazy, blood crazy fiends with him, so goes to hide underneath the vibrating bed.

 

CHAPTER 3: HEX'S MOM'S HOUSE

It's got a bedroom with a vibrating bed. A bathroom. A living area filled with rather odd trinkets probably collected from the local flea market. A kitchen full of sharp objects and saltine crackers. The area around the house stretches for acres, probably because you are in the middle of nowhere, yet a line of men seems to regularly appear either riding on horseback, or riding in Mustangs. Hex's mom is asleep. SHH!

Hex's room is locked, probably because he is hiding his biggest secret in there!!!???

[Grim_]

ME:Yes this is grim... I would like to initiate plan alpha green.

Assistant: Are you sure sure.

Me: Yes now get it going, chop chop.

Assistant: Sir you will be killed in the resulting blast.

Me: It has to be done.

Suddenly a thermonuclear bomb is dropped upon hex's house.

[Harakiri]

Ratchet appears on horseback and notices the violence. He quickly runs into the fray and see's Archimage waving his ban hammer menacingly.

"What's going on Archi my friend? Why are you at Hex's mom's house? I thought you said you had a girl friend and was never desperate in his life!"

Archimage swings the ban hammer around, yelling random, garbled noises. He then punches me in the face.

"You...you...you...mean person!" My tears gently cascade down my cheeks, then turn to shadows that expand into the dark god herself, Sarah Palin. She throws a copy of her book at Archimage, which lodges into his eye socket. Archi coughs out his eyeball and then pulls Sarah Palins book out. He fits his eye back in and uses his laser beam eyes to blow up the book and Sarah Palin.

Scared, I run to the living room where Hex is cowering, naked. I cut off his manly parts and shove it through his eye socket.

[Harakiri]

I jump from the ashes and scream "NO ONE CAN KILL DA GAMEMASTAH! ALL Y'ALL BISHES!"

I proceed to reconstruct Hex's body parts and turn him into my voodoo doll. I command him to kill everyone except for me. I then randomly shoot at stuff with my AK-47.

[The Dark Lord]

Since Rocco's drunk, his piss is actually 90% alcohol (how does he survive this? who knows). The fire is worsened by Rocco's drunken piss.

 

I died from the nuclear blast, but I respawned and sniped Grim IN THE FACE.

[Grim_]

[bleep]ing about spawn camping I respawn and procure another abnormally sized trout with which he starts beating hex's dead body with.

[Harakiri]

Having had my shoes pissed on, I proceed to the nearest Wal Mart in order to procure a pair of Caterpillar brand boots with steel toes. I then kick Rocco in his Babybag.

[Retech]

I cook and eat the trout, then I poke Grim in the eyes.

[The Dark Lord]

I shoot Retech in the balls with a pistol.

[TTanT]

Timothy ignores the fact that he is on fire, and SHOULD be in a thousand tiny pieces due to the bomb.

 

He then begins whipping every with his three (now flaming) whips.

 

His clothes also look like they might burn away pretty soon....

 

 

Oh, and Timothy also throws a spare whips to hex's mother, after waking her up.

[Retech]

That's assuming I'm a boy Sere. :D

[TTanT]

Timothy begins whipping retech with all three whips, as there is an actual GIRL around.

 

(Hex's mother doesn't count.)

 

He also transfers a whip from his mouth to his elft foot, so that he can have a keg while whipping Retech.

[Retech]

I never said I was a girl. :thumbsup:

[TTanT]

I never said I was a girl. :thumbsup:

 

And it doesn't say in your profile, either....

 

 

Timothy rips off all of Retech's clothing and finds out.

[Retech]

Timothy finds nothing.