You get... A dust bunny! Batteries not included. Because why the hell would you need batteries for a dust bunny?

 

 

 

*Steals dust bunny and puts in machine*

You get pie! But, too bad it's posionous and kills the hopes and dreams of small children.

 

 

 

You get a kick in the groin

 

 

 

Inserts useless stuff

out comes more useless stuff

 

 

 

I come out after being stuffed up there by a penguin and procede to stab it multiple times.

 

 

 

you get 2 penguin brains!

The words of your siggy pop out, printed one letter per page, blank page for the spaces in between words. You don't pick them up, thinking it a waste of time to stand around watching it print, and are later arrested for littering a.k.a. owned by cops.

 

 

 

*inserts 1879 penny*

A guard next to you tells you "Get back to the 80s you hippie."

 

 

 

*inserts a note asking "Is Numer0_un0 offended by that guard?"*

A shredded paper pops out :P

 

 

 

*inserts Andy Rooney commentary*

Andy Rooney pops out. He is mad at you so he stuffs you into the vendin machine. Unfortunately, you get stuck.

 

 

 

*gets Numer0_un0 unstuck, then shoves him/her back into the vending machine, and this time he/she doesn't get stuck :twisted: *

You get a severed arm... Don't ask whose it is. :uhh:

 

 

 

*Inserts a good old fashioned piece of jammy toast*

 

 

 

P.S If anyone says it gets jammed or another crappy pun involving spreads, they will be my next coin.

The machine laughs at you and lobbs the toast in you face were it sticks :!: ...

 

 

 

*jumps in a bucket of gold paint and tries to shove head in machince*

You get 90 free santas, 306 p-hat sets and 280 halloween masks... LOL SUCKER!!!!!!

 

LOL SUCKER!!!!!!

You get punched in the face.

 

 

 

*Inserts the magic of Disney*

Too bad the dark magician from another fiction uses dark magic to explode you AND the machine before you get the chance.

 

 

 

*Can't reach the vending machines because of him, runs away from him as fast as I can.*

The wizard stabs you with a spork as you didn't insert anything.

 

 

 

You get what you think is a pizza. You bite it, only to find out that it's a weird-coloured frisbee. Gutted :)

 

You get ripped off. Never trust Vending Machines with money.

 

 

 

*Inserts another Vending Machine*

The coin slot is stuck and falls over on you. You get out from underneath but, half of your body is squished like a mostly used up toothpaste tube.

 

 

 

You get your head (forcibly) smashed into a wall.

 

 

 

*Inserts a bomb*

Nothing happens (what a waste)

 

 

 

Inserts a button with "ÃÆââ¬Å¡Ãâã1,000,000" written crudely upon it

You get a button with "ÃÆââ¬Å¡Ãâã1,000,000" written crudely upon it through the change box.

 

You get it refunded, because, frankly, I don't know what the hell a 'DP' is.

 

 

 

*Inserts a well-written Thread*

You get a troll.

 

 

 

*Inserts a lit stick of dynamite*

You got a refund from ACME Co.

 

 

 

*Inserts a bullet*