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Funniest "Quote(s)" you've ever seen!

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  • Author

Lol! I like your sig to... Lol, to drunk to eat a lobby... How poo would that be...

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I still laugh when i read this one :D

 

Im only posting this here because you cannot take advantage of this bug.

 

 

 

If you alch and quickly equip a staff, the staff will simply dissappear

 

 

 

EDIT:

 

oops nvm it appears I actually just alched the staff :$

 

 

 

My bad :$

 

 

 

:lol: That's a good one. :lol:

 

 

 

I don't remember who said this or even if I saw it on these forums first, but it went something like this:

 

That's old, man. That's old like Jesus. Or a dinosaur. Like a Jesusaur.
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A lot would never get this, plus this wasn't really a quote but made me laugh instantly.

 

 

 

We were in count.(Count of the prisoner inside the entire brig.) 10+ minutes elasped:

 

 

 

Duty Brig Supervisor: "Base, I have 177."

 

Base: "Uh, Staff Sergeant the count is 232."

 

DBS: "Close enough, secure count."

 

 

 

 

 

Probally one of the best things I have heard.

HQ AND SPT BN

BRIG CO.

Marine Corps Base, Camp Lejeune.

PFC/USMC/060310-Current

A lot would never get this, plus this wasn't really a quote but made me laugh instantly.

 

 

 

We were in count.(Count of the prisoner inside the entire brig.) 10+ minutes elasped:

 

 

 

Duty Brig Supervisor: "Base, I have 177."

 

Base: "Uh, Staff Sergeant the count is 232."

 

DBS: "Close enough, secure count."

 

 

 

 

 

Probally one of the best things I have heard.

 

 

 

Sounds like someone messed up. :D

tifuserbar-dsavi_x4.jpg and normally with a cool mind.

(Warning: This user can be VERY confusing to some people... And talks in 3rd person for the timebeing due to how insane they are... Sometimes even to themself.)

Baarg or someone did this one

 

 

 

Thats old man.. old as Jesus... old as the dinosaurs. Thats like jesus riding a dinosaur.. or a Jesusaur.

Lvl 80 construction.

 

Dragon Drops: 11 (4 Chains, 2 Axes, 1 Med, 2 Skirts, 1 Legs, 1 2h)

 

God Wars Drops: 4 Zamorakian Spears, 1 Godsword Shard 1

did you hear about the dyslexic guy that walked into a bra?

And this embryo is asking, What are you going to kill me?

 

-Sam Brownback discussing why stem-cell research is wrong

 

 

 

The internet is not something that you just dump something on. Its not a big truck. Its a series of tubes... And if you don't understand that those tubes can be filled when you put your message in it, it gets in line, it's gonna be delayed by anyone who puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material... Ten movies streaming across that internet, and what happens to your own personal internet? I just the other day got internet was sent by my staff at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday, I got it yesterday.

 

ACTUAL EXACT QUOTE from 85 year old Senator Ted Stevens (R.), in an attempt to explain the Net Neutrality Act

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The internet is not something that you just dump something on. Its not a big truck. Its a series of tubes... And if you don't understand that those tubes can be filled when you put your message in it, it gets in line, it's gonna be delayed by anyone who puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material... Ten movies streaming across that internet, and what happens to your own personal internet? I just the other day got internet was sent by my staff at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday, I got it yesterday.

 

ACTUAL EXACT QUOTE from 85 year old Senator Ted Stevens (R.), in an attempt to explain the Net Neutrality Act

 

I dont care if he is for it or against it, an 85 year old describing the net like this should not be voting for or against it.

Here are some of my favourite(funny) quotes,we can all enjoy em :)

 

 

 

 

 

...I paint German artists whom I admire. I paint their pictures, their work as painters, and their portraits too. But oddly enough, each of these portraits ends up as a picture of a woman with blonde hair. I myself have never been able to work out why this happens.

 

 

 

 

 

I had always loved expressionist painting, like every European. In fact I admired it all the more because these were precisely the paintings despised by my father's generation.

 

 

 

Believe it or not, I can actually draw.

 

 

 

We're all worms, but I do believe I'm a glowworm.

 

 

 

Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.

 

 

 

Death is nature's way of saying, Your table's ready.

 

 

 

Fat people are brilliant in bed. If I'm sitting on top of you, who's going to argue?

 

 

 

 

In Montana, a policeman will pull you over because he̢̢̮ââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s lonely.

 

 

 

 

It's only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realise how often they burst into flames.

 

 

 

Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman.

 

 

 

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...

 

 

 

The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

 

 

 

If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.

 

 

 

Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism -how passionately I hate them!

 

 

 

I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back.

 

 

 

The future ain't what it used to be.

 

 

 

When you come to a fork in the road ... Take it.

 

 

 

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, 'Happy Birthday'

 

 

 

If Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?

 

 

 

I bought a dog the other day...I named him Stay. It's fun to call him...'Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!' He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing. He's an East German Shepherd.

 

 

 

My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and he said 'Do I know you?'

 

 

 

Two guys are talking and one says to the other: "What would you do if the end of the world was in 3 minutes time?" The other one says, "I'd sh*g everything that moved...What would you do?" And he says, "I'd stand perfectly still.

 

 

 

Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he THINK he was doing at the time?

 

 

 

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.

 

 

 

 

 

Those are some of my favourite (funny) quotes.

 

:)

You can't ever find a place that's nice and peaceful, because there isn't any. You may think there is, but once you get there, when you're not looking, somebody'll sneak up and write "(bleep) you" right under your nose. Try it sometime. I think, even, if I ever die, and they stick me in a cemetery, and I have a tombstone and all, it'll say "Holden Caulfield" on it, and then what year I was born and what year I died, and then right under that it'll say "(bleep) you."

 

 

 

 

It's only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realise how often they burst into flames.

 

 

...

 

 

When you come to a fork in the road ... Take it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:lol: :lol: :lol:

.........

...|>..

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Baarg or someone did this one

 

 

 

Thats old man.. old as Jesus... old as the dinosaurs. Thats like jesus riding a dinosaur.. or a Jesusaur.

 

 

 

Ah, that's what I tried to post. I knew I butchered it. :? That's an awesome one. :lol:

 

 

 

It's only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realise how often they burst into flames.

 

 

 

That's awesome :D

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Your mother was a hampster, and your father smelt of elderberries!

 

 

 

Greatest.Quote.Ever.

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Ahrim has huge thighs?
Lego's would be a nice addition to Construction. ^_^

 

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*bursts through a door* "NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!" Later *dashes out of bus and runs through a door* NOBODY EXPECTS THE E...oh bugger."

 

 

 

From the monty python cardinals.

 

 

 

Edit: sounds lame but if youd seen it it is sooo funny.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Author

Laughing Out Loud X 60000.

 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Don't argue with idiots. They bring you down to thier level and beat you by experience.

 

:lol:

 

 

 

I remember when that was originally posted.. I literally lmao'd. I had to get a butt-ocks transplant. :cry:

 

 

 

Wasn't that on the RS Forums? On cdkb's thread about your favourite quotes?

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Look in the sig. Raaagen. *pokes*

From without a paddle:

 

 

 

( A bear comes up to them )

 

Why are you taking off your shoes?

 

I can run faster without them.

 

You can't outrun a bear!

 

I know, I only need to run faster than you!

 

 

 

:P

well i didn't quote it but it was something like this:

 

 

 

a dummy head wrote:

 

Who is Elvarg the dragon?? Only dragon i know is in the quest, Dragon Slayer.

From without a paddle:

 

 

 

( A bear comes up to them )

 

Why are you taking off your shoes?

 

I can run faster without them.

 

You can't outrun a bear!

 

I know, I only need to run faster than you!

 

 

 

:P

 

 

 

hahhahha *choke* haha * koff* ha!!!!!

 

thats funny!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

  • Author

^ Double postzorz pl0x? ^

 

| Spamzorz pl0x???????? |

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Ultimate quote from Adam Savage of the MythBusters Team...

 

 

 

"I reject your reality and substitute my own!"

 

 

 

ROTFLMDIMFLYCAO

 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

tifuserbar-dsavi_x4.jpg and normally with a cool mind.

(Warning: This user can be VERY confusing to some people... And talks in 3rd person for the timebeing due to how insane they are... Sometimes even to themself.)

I was using the random page button in wikiquote and found this:

 

 

 

And then it was like 'snack time' right in the middle of mass... Yeah, right out of no where the priest will look down and be like, " LETS HAVE SOME YUM YUMSSSS... I'VE MADE SNACKKSSS."

 

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