At the end of the day, if you are gay, you are gay. Marriage (straight marriage) isn't for everyone, and if you don't want to come out as being gay, you can always adopt a kid by yourself. At the end of the day, you have to make a choice. You can decide to suppress yourself forever in the hope that some day you will become straight, or you can be gay, and come out. Or, you can decide to be gay but not act upon it, in which case you just accept that you will control your urges. The negative of that is that you end up suppressing yourself but the positive is that you can avoid the drama. At the end of the day there is only so much help "we" can give you. You do have to decide for yourself. Bear in mind, though, that you are still fairly young, and when you wait on making a choice it may become a lot clearer to you in time.