Kinda like the New-Zelander (sp)?

 

"Wheere's the caaaar?"

 

That reminds me that I missed FOTC yesterday. :(

 

 

 

Nothing like a new-zealander

 

 

 

Like a brittish dude(using brittish slang), that prolongs vowels and raise the pitch of his voice at the end of the sentence.

Heh, well, people tell me I talk with somewhat of a British accent.

Nothing like a new-zealander

 

Damn right.

 

 

 

Radio 1 without Zane is just not worth living for.

 

 

 

I don't prolong vowels btw.

Hey guys i was wondering,is it possible that if i'm on a Coffee shop and there's like 2 or 3 girls sitting in the same shop,that i go there and get to know them?is that possible?even if i never met them,what's the best thing to say?

 

Thanks!

 

 

 

Sure why not? My girls and I speak to anyone when we're out and about. If they snub you then they weren't worth it anyway and if they do, then you're in! Could make some new friends or even more. You will know all 3 personalities in a matter of one answer.

When I get back home I'll add a "Database" to the front page, listing everyone's "requests" and "advice pleas" on the first page. They will be removed if nothing relating to them is posted within a month, however.

I met a girl a week back or so through my best friend. Shes really pretty, funny, nice and I get along with her really well. I would definitely like to date her. The problem is that my friend likes her or at one time did like her. I'm only not sure if he still likes her because when we hung out she showed a lot more attention to me and another guy and not to him, this pissed him off and he says he doesn't care about her anymore but I'm not so sure about that. That's why I'm worried about pursuing anything with her. Besides that shes a really big flirt so I don't know if shes legitimately into me or not.

I met a girl a week back or so through my best friend. Shes really pretty, funny, nice and I get along with her really well. I would definitely like to date her. The problem is that my friend likes her or at one time did like her. I'm only not sure if he still likes her because when we hung out she showed a lot more attention to me and another guy and not to him, this pissed him off and he says he doesn't care about her anymore but I'm not so sure about that. That's why I'm worried about pursuing anything with her. Besides that shes a really big flirt so I don't know if shes legitimately into me or not.

Ask him. If he says stuff like "No, lol" then he probably likes her. Still, if you want to make sure, ask seriously.

 

"Seriously though, do you?" etc. He'll eventually own up if he's into her.

There's a long story behind this short story but its rather irrelevant so I'll skip to the point. My girlfriend called me at 4 in the morning today. I was just over her house like 5 hours before at a party with her. She calls to say she got drunk as soon as I left. I am very pissed off. She's only 16. She doesn't drink. Nor do I. It's bugging the hell outta me to put it lightly. Advice?

To be honest, dump her. I don't even know her and I am literally shaking with rage after reading that. The nerve of that girl is beyond a joke and you need to deal with it appropriately. She needs to learn that she can't do things like that, because its not socially acceptable or even common for underage drinking, and she needs to understand that society is not going to take it.

To be honest, dump her. I don't even know her and I am literally shaking with rage after reading that. The nerve of that girl is beyond a joke and you need to deal with it appropriately. She needs to learn that she can't do things like that, because its not socially acceptable or even common for underage drinking, and she needs to understand that society is not going to take it.

 

Unfortunatly underage drinking is more than acceptable where I live. We had the AP Stat class draw up a chart deal and it revealed that 74% of our highschool drinks or has drank. I'd say about 30% drink regularly.

 

On another note, I find it funny that you are like the eighth person on this thread alone to tell me to dump her. :lol:

Well, the good ol' idea of beating her with a sack of oranges probably wouldn't work. She'd be wasted, she'd probably fall, there'd be blood everywhere, you'd need a carpet steamer...

 

 

 

Oh, and the whole beating thing might get you in trouble.

 

 

 

But, hm. She's just drinking. It's not that big of a deal. She owned up to it, too, eh? It's kinda wierd she waited 'til you left - maybe it was harder to fight peer pressure without you?

 

 

 

I dunno the whole story, though.

Well, the good ol' idea of beating her with a sack of oranges probably wouldn't work. She'd be wasted, she'd probably fall, there'd be blood everywhere, you'd need a carpet steamer...

 

 

 

Oh, and the whole beating thing might get you in trouble.

 

 

 

But, hm. She's just drinking. It's not that big of a deal. She owned up to it, too, eh? It's kinda wierd she waited 'til you left - maybe it was harder to fight peer pressure without you?

 

 

 

I dunno the whole story, though.

 

 

 

lulz. I love the joke advice.

 

Why do you see drinnking as not a problem though? I never really understood that. Were you around alcohol alot when you were a kid? cause i don't have any drinkers in my family on either side going way up the family tree. I didn't even know what alcohol was until I was like 8. She's probably sober by now (4.5 beers about 9 hours ago from this post). So she'd feel it if i did hit her (not that I ever would :lol:). When she called I yelled at her for being stupid and hypocritical (she's always telling me how absolutly dramatically stupid underage drinkers are, its like her 'thing') and told her to go to sleep. I never went back to sleep. Nor have I called her back. I'm still pissed 6 hours later :|

There's a long story behind this short story but its rather irrelevant so I'll skip to the point. My girlfriend called me at 4 in the morning today. I was just over her house like 5 hours before at a party with her. She calls to say she got drunk as soon as I left. I am very pissed off. She's only 16. She doesn't drink. Nor do I. It's bugging the hell outta me to put it lightly. Advice?

 

 

 

Don't listen to Justin... If you were to take his advice only 10% of 15 year olds would even have girlfriends. More than 70% of Australian children under the age of 13 report having consumed alcohol and this increased to 90% by 15 years of age. (Bonomo, Y., Coffey, C., Wolfe, R., Lynskey, M., Bowes, G. & Patton, G. 2001, 'Adverse outcomes of alcohol use in teenagers', Addiction, vol. 96, no. 10, pp. 1485-96.)

 

 

 

Talk to her. This is a great opportunity to strengthen your relationship and put trust in to each other. Okay, so she made a mistake. She got drunk at a party, is it really worth getting angry over? Do you think you will get better results if you ask her why she did it? What her feelings were at the time? Is there anything happening in her life that she needs to talk about? It's also natural to test boundaries in your relationship. How else are you going to learn what your partner is going to be like in the worst of worst situations? One day you're going to get married, whether it be to this girl or the other and it's through better or worse. You need to roll with the punches and handle them as they happen at a mature level. The more you care about talking to her and finding out why, the more she will come to you and tell you the truth. Be thankful she cares enough about you to tell you the truth. How many teenage girls do you think go out and get drunk at parties behind their boyfriends backs and they never find out about it?

 

 

 

Take a few moments to reflect on that, to calm down and then talk it out. This isn't any reason to ruin something good. It's not like she cheated on you. If you yell at her when she tells you the truth, she is less inclined to do so later. Is this what you want?

It seems that my post wasn't recognized as sarcasm, that's my bad.

There's a long story behind this short story but its rather irrelevant so I'll skip to the point. My girlfriend called me at 4 in the morning today. I was just over her house like 5 hours before at a party with her. She calls to say she got drunk as soon as I left. I am very pissed off. She's only 16. She doesn't drink. Nor do I. It's bugging the hell outta me to put it lightly. Advice?

 

 

 

Don't listen to Justin... If you were to take his advice only 10% of 15 year olds would even have girlfriends. More than 70% of Australian children under the age of 13 report having consumed alcohol and this increased to 90% by 15 years of age. (Bonomo, Y., Coffey, C., Wolfe, R., Lynskey, M., Bowes, G. & Patton, G. 2001, 'Adverse outcomes of alcohol use in teenagers', Addiction, vol. 96, no. 10, pp. 1485-96.)

 

 

 

Talk to her. This is a great opportunity to strengthen your relationship and put trust in to each other. Okay, so she made a mistake. She got drunk at a party, is it really worth getting angry over? Do you think you will get better results if you ask her why she did it? What her feelings were at the time? Is there anything happening in her life that she needs to talk about? It's also natural to test boundaries in your relationship. How else are you going to learn what your partner is going to be like in the worst of worst situations? One day you're going to get married, whether it be to this girl or the other and it's through better or worse. You need to roll with the punches and handle them as they happen at a mature level. The more you care about talking to her and finding out why, the more she will come to you and tell you the truth. Be thankful she cares enough about you to tell you the truth. How many teenage girls do you think go out and get drunk at parties behind their boyfriends backs and they never find out about it?

 

 

 

You have a point in that it could have been worse. and she always is really honest with me. the problem with honesty is - she's under the impression that by telling me what she did, she can get away with anything. (yes if you remember me from like a year ago, it is the same girl). For those of you just tuning in, long story short, she cheated on me. a few times. with like 3 or 4 different guys. At this point I almost want her to lie to me. I'm sure I'll get over this as I have everything else, but she made such a hypocrit of herself (citing my last post). I don't wanna break up, but I'm tired of her walking all over me.

So you feel like a door mat, and your using this relatively small mistake to gain some power back in the relationship?

So you feel like a door mat, and your using this relatively small mistake to gain some power back in the relationship?

 

 

 

When you put it that way, I sound like a real [bleep]. But I definiatly want to be respected and treated as an equal. I mean, she's fine when I'm around her, but the second I turn my back...something else goes wrong. I don't want power, I want equality.

It's not really wrong, as such. I think it's natural to want equity and a relationship will fail if both partners aren't happy with where they stand. But I'd say let this drinking issue go, and focus on whats really bothering you. You can't fix it if you don't focus on the real thing.

Sorry Justin I've just come back to the forum so It's going to take some time to get used to people's personalities on here. I will make note of your sense of humour for next time mate :D

 

 

 

You have a point in that it could have been worse. and she always is really honest with me. the problem with honesty is - she's under the impression that by telling me what she did, she can get away with anything. (yes if you remember me from like a year ago, it is the same girl). For those of you just tuning in, long story short, she cheated on me. a few times. with like 3 or 4 different guys. At this point I almost want her to lie to me. I'm sure I'll get over this as I have everything else, but she made such a hypocrit of herself (citing my last post). I don't wanna break up, but I'm tired of her walking all over me.

 

 

 

People will always be hypocrites. Did you know in my photo album at 13 years of age, I dated a signed a piece of paper claiming I would definitely never smoke or drink because they were disgusting habits? Oh and apparently I would let my 13 year old daughter travel half way around the world to meet someone she doesn't know too lmao For the record, I drank like a fish and smoked like a chimney until I was about 19/20. People will always think they will stick with everything they say but then they wouldn't be human!

 

 

 

I don't understand how she is walking on you by making choices about her body? Is it not her decision to put alcohol in to her body? Is it not her decision to be allowed to make her own decisions and not need approval from other people? Why does she need your permission? If you keep her on a short leash because of something she did in the past then perhaps it's best to let her go.

 

 

 

 

When you put it that way, I sound like a real [bleep]. But I definiatly want to be respected and treated as an equal. I mean, she's fine when I'm around her, but the second I turn my back...something else goes wrong. I don't want power, I want equality.

 

 

 

You're not an [wagon]. You're a typical 16ish year old boy. You are being respected and treated as an equal. She respected you enough to tell you the truth and you're equal enough to make your own decisions to drink if you want to, just as she is entitled to. Telling her she can't drink because that would make her a hypocrite isn't really treating her equally, now is it? Did you think that maybe because of your past you are a little controlling? You enjoy the fact that when you are around her, you have control over what is happening. Perhaps it's time now in your life to accept a new lesson, that you have no control over what happens in other people's lives and decisions. It's a perfectly normal thing to go through.

 

 

It's not really wrong, as such. I think it's natural to want equity and a relationship will fail if both partners aren't happy with where they stand. But I'd say let this drinking issue go, and focus on whats really bothering you. You can't fix it if you don't focus on the real thing.

 

 

 

Justin actually has quite a very valuable point here. Is it the drinking that is annoying you or do you need to stop and think about the real issue here? That you want some control back in the relationship.

It's not really wrong, as such. I think it's natural to want equity and a relationship will fail if both partners aren't happy with where they stand. But I'd say let this drinking issue go, and focus on whats really bothering you. You can't fix it if you don't focus on the real thing.

 

 

 

I suppose you're right about that. After all, like what IgodessI said, it could have been worse. The equality thing is the real problem and it seems to be a recurring one. I still think she's a major hypocrit, but I suppose I'll go easier on her than I initially intended. Cause, it still irritates the hell outta me. To over look the drinking thing would kinda suck in a just world, but I suppose in the grand scheme of things it truly is less important than the core issue.

 

 

 

This thread has saved my relationship yet again.

 

I love this place.

 

Thanks Mel and Justin! :D

^^ no problem. The fact that you came here to talk about it obviously means you're open for change, whether it be within yourself or a new prospective at looking at the problem. That is a good trait to have, I would encourage you to keep it :thumbup:

 

 

 

I even come here myself with my own relationship problems because sometimes we can be so emotionally clouded that we can't seem to see other possibilities at the time.

People in in my grade are hardly 15, and a lot of them smoke cigars and/or cigarettes and/or pot and drink beer and stuff. I got flashed by a drunk 14 year old at a party. Are we just early or are you guys late?

Today I had a pretty bad fight with my fiance'. I've been a stay at home mum now since my son was born and it's really emotionally draining to look at 4 walls all day and house work can also be one of the most depressing things known to man. You do the dishes, then look over and they're back again. You do the washing then you turn around and there's another load to be done. Guys, if you ever live with a woman never tell her that being a stay at home mum isn't hard work. I assure you that studying a full time degree and working 50 hours that week is nothing compared to being a stay at home mum.

 

 

 

It's also emotionally draining on the basis that I feel like I am "stuck" because I'm so used to being a workaholic. I do try to tell myself that I'm doing the right thing by spending the first 6 months of my sons life raising him at home but then when my fiance' has 6 days off and just wants to sit down and relax it makes me mad. I can see that he works long shifts and obviously deserves a bit of a rest but I'm not here to clean up after him 24/7 and look at 4 walls every day. It would be nice if he took me out to nice places and leave my son with our parents for a lousy hour to get out of the house. He does eventually give in and take me out but the problem is I shouldn't have to ask. I feel like because I have his kid and big rock on my finger that says I'm committed to him that he no longer has to make an effort with me.

 

 

 

He says he is concerned about our finances but to be honest we probably have more than most couples in their early 20's. And he always says the same thing... several thousand later he still needs to save and tells me to wait, then when we reach that target and I finally feel like we can go out or get something that we want, he says it's still not enough. So I wait, several thousand later... and it continues.

 

 

 

He is so concerned about money that he no longer wants to have any fun in life and lately I have been pretty depressed because I am trapped in this house. It's so easy to have your own account and do whatever you want with your money but it's another thing when you have joint finances and have to ask permission. I'm getting pretty angry about it. I don't feel like I should have to ask for credit for my phone considering we don't have a house phone, to go out and have a bit of a life some weekends or transfer some money across so I can get some food for lunch/dinner.

 

 

 

He is so obsessed with our money that everything is in our savings account and he will only transfer the exact amount that he requires at one time. Not only that I don't have access to our account unless I ask him what our toggle code is because he is the only one who has it. So yet again every time I need to use some of our money I need to ask. God this really pisses me off. I have tried talking to him about it for months but he is being so stubborn about it and insisting we need limits. It really is taking a toll on me and I don't know what else to do. I am sick of fighting about money and I sick of being with a stingy partner who doesn't want to have any fun in life.

 

 

 

Don't worry I'm not planning on getting married until all this crap is worked out lol

 

 

 

But yeah I needed to get this off my chest because it is quite upsetting and I don't get to go out much so I can't talk to my friends and family about it. It is really affecting a lot of things, it is making me feel depressed, it is making me feel less satisfaction in life, it is making me feel less inclined to talk to him, our intellectual conversations have stopped, our connection is slipping, I don't like to be around him as often, I lose my temper quickly and I have been questioning whether or not I am engaged to the right person.

 

 

 

As a result of this, I sleep in most days because a large part of sleeping too much is not knowing what to do with your life. And this is making me put on weight. Oh and if you didn't know once you've had a baby weight grows on you like leaves grow on trees. I have diabetes so this is pretty bad. I was going to pay off a cross trainer so I can go in to the shed and work out but he won't let me get one. I can't go for walks because of the heat, if you're a fellow QLDer you will know what I mean and I can't risk my son out in that kind of heat. Life is going down hill pretty quickly because of this. I could always go back to work, no problem but he is still in control of our finances so that won't fix the problem.

 

 

 

He really is not interested in discussing this or budging and it is only pushing me away more and more. We have always fought about money since we have been together because I'm pretty lenient but know my limits and he is uncle scrooge so likes money sitting in the account letting his life waste by in the process.

 

 

 

I should have thought about this problem a long time ago to be completely honest with myself but I had the power of my own account and do anything I felt like and didn't have a baby at the time. So I didn't really think about it as much. I guess you could say I turned a blind eye to it which is my fault.

 

 

 

I'm an extremely independent person and to put it bluntly it really [cabbage]s me to tears that what makes me, me has been taken away from me.

People in in my grade are hardly 15, and a lot of them smoke cigars and/or cigarettes and/or pot and drink beer and stuff. I got flashed by a drunk 14 year old at a party. Are we just early or are you guys late?

 

 

 

LOL , I think you are early ...

 

You don't live in Jamaica / Cuba / [insert land with much drugs activity] ? Do you?

Goddess, for being a stay-at-home mom and actually committing yourself to your son, thank you.

 

 

 

I honestly can't think of an absolute solution to your problem, but because you put yourself in that situation, you have my respect. However, I do think that maybe a break is warranted every couple of weeks/every week. Just tell your fiancé that you two are going out one night, and go out. Leave your son with your parents, both will benefit from it, and you benefit from the break.