Give her some space for a while. keep talking to her, but not too often, and don't go out of your way to do things to try and make her day better, because having to deal with it does add more stress.

 

give it some time, if she really loves you she'll come back when she's feeling better.

Ok my girlfriend broke up with me after about 9 months now...

 

 

 

Yet she tells me a couple of things.

 

 

 

1. She loves me

 

2. She's in love with me

 

3. She loves being with me

 

 

 

I don't understand... She says she doesnt want a boyfriend right now because of stress she is under. The thing I don't get is that how can me just trying to make her day better by doing nice things for her is adding more stress?

 

 

 

I don't know what to do honestly :?

 

 

 

I can tell you honestly.. Melee (hi, by the way ) that she is either truly stressed and cannot possibly keep up with her schoolwork, job, and maintain a healthy relationship with you at the same time and would feel guilty not being all 100% of herself for you, or she is lying through her teeth and is bored of you.

 

 

 

At this point, I'm not sure you should do anything about it. Keep her close, turn on the pre-dating charm that you guys have under your sleeve. She might just change her mind after she recovers. :

Give her some space for a while. keep talking to her, but not too often, and don't go out of your way to do things to try and make her day better, because having to deal with it does add more stress.

 

give it some time, if she really loves you she'll come back when she's feeling better.

 

 

 

Alright I'll try it thanks :P

 

 

 

I can tell you honestly.. Melee (hi, by the way ) that she is either truly stressed and cannot possibly keep up with her schoolwork, job, and maintain a healthy relationship with you at the same time and would feel guilty not being all 100% of herself for you, or she is lying through her teeth and is bored of you.

 

 

 

Hiya

 

 

 

It might be the first one and if so that would just make me love her even more :D

 

 

 

I doubt it's the second one because she was crying when she said we needed to break up and while she was telling me she still loved me.

 

 

 

Oh and I'll try out the flirting deal with her before we were a couple officially. Maybe it'll help maybe it won't.

Well, sometimes people just don't want a relationship. I don't really want one now.

 

 

 

Although I've heard that excuse just for a girl to date another guy. Very often, in fact. She might just be interested in something new; you're both young and it's commonplace even in adults.

 

 

 

But think of it in this light: FREEDOM! Not to mention, isn't that girl going to Australia? That'd be rough anywho.

 

 

 

Anyways, if you try to bring it back, you'll push her farther away. I vote wait a little while, maybe this summer, and then move on.

Well, sometimes people just don't want a relationship. I don't really want one now.

 

 

 

Although I've heard that excuse just for a girl to date another guy. Very often, in fact. She might just be interested in something new; you're both young and it's commonplace even in adults.

 

 

 

But think of it in this light: FREEDOM! Not to mention, isn't that girl going to Australia? That'd be rough anywho.

 

 

 

Anyways, if you try to bring it back, you'll push her farther away. I vote wait a little while, maybe this summer, and then move on.

 

 

 

Ok yes she's moving to australia, which is the cause of the stress.... Now isn't this supposed to be a help thread not a "How can I get them to end their relationship?" thread. Every response from you to me ends up with "move on". No I'm not thinking freedom... I love this girl. Just cause I can have other girls doesn't mean I want other girls. I can't see anything in anyone else. Anyways I'm going to wait, but I'm still gonna make sure she knows im there for her. I'll see where it leads us. (Not just move on -.-)

From the sounds of it though, the only thing you can do is just wait until the circumstances allow for you and her to be in a relationship...which if she's moving to Australia, that could potentially be years.

 

 

 

Also, while you say you wouldn't want to be in a relationship with any other girl, does she feel the same - not wanting to be in a relationship with any other guy? If not, don't be surprised if she ends up 'falling in love' with someone while she's in Australia. Hell, even if she doesn't want to be in a relationship with another guy I still wouldn't be surprised if she ends up 'falling in love' with someone else while she's in Australia.

Mod can delete this post, was having connection problems that day.

From the sounds of it though, the only thing you can do is just wait until the circumstances allow for you and her to be in a relationship...which if she's moving to Australia, that could potentially be years.

 

 

 

Also, while you say you wouldn't want to be in a relationship with any other girl, does she feel the same - not wanting to be in a relationship with any other guy? If not, don't be surprised if she ends up 'falling in love' with someone while she's in Australia. Hell, even if she doesn't want to be in a relationship with another guy I still wouldn't be surprised if she ends up 'falling in love' with someone else while she's in Australia.

 

 

 

We've already worked it out that I'm going to visit her this summer. Then after my senior year in highschool, which is next year, I am permanently moving to australia with her. Well I think she loves me enough to wait a year. I mean I seriously hope she doesn't go with someone else, but I can't do anything about it from 3000 miles away you know. She just isn't that kind of person though, hell she told me she felt bad about making out with other guys/girls before we even started dating. Who knows though.... Only time right :roll:

I was in a similar situation, only my boyfriend was moving away. I sort of broke up with him, because I was really stressed out about everything, but I still wanted to be with him but I didn't think it would work out, and it would just end worse for the both of us if we stayed together, even though I loved him (or thought i did atleast.. I was younger) , and it sounds kind of similar. We ended up staying together, but it just fell apart after he moved, and I had no way to contact him, other than normal mail.

 

The best thing for you to do would, in my opinion just to say that you're always there for her, and that you just want her to know that.

 

 

 

Don't pressure her into keeping a relationship, just comfort her, and all. That's the best you can do.

Just trying to help, bro. Trying to look at it from a perspective that attempts to encompass the whole situation. I mean, you want to force her into loving you, kidnap her or something. I mean, if she doesn't want to date you and you follow her to Australia, that might seem a bit strange. If she isn't interested, I'm sorry, but she doesn't want to continue. I don't want to butter you up unless you're willing to likely ruin your life and do the craziest [cabbage] imaginable.

 

 

 

Hope it goes well, though. Only thing you can really do is talk to her about it. Here's really just for encouragement (or whatever I'm giving) and venting.

 

 

 

Of course, on second thought, making out with other guys/girls? Maybe you should try to hold onto her forever. :P

No_99_Melee: it's perfectly possible for her to be in love with you and still wish to end the relationship. And quite frankly, that doesn't mean her decision isn't definite, it just makes it more difficult. You're very focused on her, why don't you take this time to figure out your needs/stance/self? Ask yourself this question: do you want to be with someone who may love you, but isn't ready to go for the relationship for a 100%? If you really really want something to work out, stress or moving away wouldn't change that. If they do change it, well, isn't the relationship sort of doomed? I'm sorry for being blunt, but if there's one thing I've learned from my past relationships, it's that it's no use having one if he and I aren't both ready to simply go for it. Love isn't enough.

No_99_Melee: it's perfectly possible for her to be in love with you and still wish to end the relationship. And quite frankly, that doesn't mean her decision isn't definite, it just makes it more difficult. You're very focused on her, why don't you take this time to figure out your needs/stance/self? Ask yourself this question: do you want to be with someone who may love you, but isn't ready to go for the relationship for a 100%? If you really really want something to work out, stress or moving away wouldn't change that. If they do change it, well, isn't the relationship sort of doomed? I'm sorry for being blunt, but if there's one thing I've learned from my past relationships, it's that it's no use having one if he and I aren't both ready to simply go for it. Love isn't enough.

 

 

 

I think I'm gonna let her get settled in first and see what she thinks about our relationship. If she still is borderline well then I just can't commit to that. As to my needs, well I feel right now that I need her :lol: , but that's cause she just left 6 hours ago :?.

 

 

 

I just think she needed me more as a friend than a lover before she left. She's leaving pretty much her whole family and all of her friends. I don't even want to know what that must feel like...

 

Like I said I'll wait to see how it all unfolds. I'm still keeping positive about our relationship though. Nothing is entirely through just yet.

 

 

 

Edit: Wth is with the scam thing?

Well, my relationship is over. I kinda expected it but I definitely wasn't ready.

 

 

 

She's still in love with my best friend, and she played into his game. I don't blame her for it, he's too good.

 

 

 

I cried for at least an hour. I'll miss the long phone calls at night, pissing off my parents because I wouldn't go to sleep. I'll miss holding her when she was sad. I hope my friend's happy, because he got what he wanted.

 

 

 

We never dated, but were pretty close.

 

 

 

She was amazing. She had the looks, the personality, everything. I don't think I'll ever win her back, there really isn't any point in attempting to.

 

 

 

I don't understand what's wrong with me. I'm DEFINITELY not bad looking, I have a decent body, a decent personality. I don't get it!!! I can't get one girl to like me and date me, I've failed every time I've gotten so close, it's ridiculous.

 

 

 

Am I not meant to be in love? :cry:

 

 

 

Here is the problem I had before, which I am now over.

 

 

 

During that time she told me she didn't want a boyfriend, but now she's dating my best friend, who said he didn't want a girlfriend until after high school either. So they both lied to me.

 

 

 

I felt like punching him. But I held back, and acted like I didn't care.

 

 

 

I don't like her anymore but she basically told me that I wasn't good enough. Wow...

I have a similiar problem to No_99_Melee's early problem. His girlfriend moved to a different country. Mines potentialy moving 5 states south. Aproximatly a 10 hour drive. We're both Juniors, and she would be moving this summer, essentially cutting her away from her friends on her senior year. Not to mention myself. She's moving back with the rest of her family because college is cheaper in that state. The only reason why she lived up near me was because her grandmom lived up here, and she died recently, and now I'm mostly why she still lives locally. Unfortunatly her mom can't take living here much longer and is dying to move back in with her ex-husband (my girlfriends dad) to be in the lives of her two grandchildren. My girlfriends mom is miserable here and my girlfriend feels responsible. And I feel responsible for her having to choose. She has to choose between her happiness or her mothers, her friends or her family. And that is just too much. The only way out of it seems to be that my girlfriend finds a place to live while her mom moves back down south. This has it's issues in itself. If she moves down south, I may never see her again (which is gona be tough after being by her side everyday for the past year and a half). If she stays with her mom up here, she'll always feel guilty about making her mom feel miserable, and sad about missing the lives of her two nephews. If she stays and her mom goes, she'll practically be alone up here, and she'll still miss out on valuable family time. i want to help her through this decision, but...I have no idea what to do.

 

 

 

Advice?

See if your girlfriend can convince her mom to stay for just 1 more year. If that doesn't work you just gotta let fate take it's course.

if you are the good bf and all you want to do is make your gf happy is to let her move down south. she really has no other choice... she cant just move in with u guys... it wont work... let her move down south and u guys will see each other in the summer... it is really the most realistic way.

I think it's cool when girls say they like you. Although it'd probably be more sneaky and woman-like to have one of your friends tell him. I vote do that.

 

 

 

Or, put on an all-leather outfit, and practically force yourself onto him. 100% of the time it works every time.

 

 

 

...Well, on me.

 

 

 

Haha.. Well I don't want to be sneaky about it.. I would rather he just know about it and not have to deal with all that stupid game playing stuff or whatevr =s.. And I wish I could force myself onto him in an all-leather outfit, that would be great :D

 

 

 

Honestly, I think you've got the right idea on remaining friends with him

 

 

 

Yea.. I really would never want to do anything to ruin our friendship because not even being able to be friends with him would be even worse

 

 

 

Best response, Shrug it off. If se knows your intimidated by that move she knows your very shy.

 

 

 

Nekyia, Jesus freaking crist! Where the hell do I go for these rough nights with various woman?? :lol:

 

 

 

It might be best to remain a loyal friend to him, someone he knows he can trust (which seems like he cant realy trust his err..fiance') and if the moment comes were you two spark (emotional, not sexual... ) Then home in on him opening his heart out to you.

 

 

 

Haha.. Well if you ever come to Canada or I ever go to Australia I'll take you on a wild adventure ;) Though be warned I left out quite a lot of the crazy stuff that went down that night =P

 

 

 

So.. There`s this guy I like.. But I don`t know whether or not I should tell him that.. So I would kind of like some advice as to whether I should or shouldn`t tell him.. If I should tell him, then what exactly should I be saying, and if I shouldn`t tell him, then what should I do?.. There's a bit of a story behind it all so I'll try and keep it short.. (haha.. I tried to keep it short and ended up with like 1000 words >.>.. so it's a bit of read if you want to try and offer your opinion, sorry! ^^;)

 

 

 

[hide=Story]There's this guy in a different class at the college I go to (we'll call him Darryl for this..).. I was friends with him and the rest of the class for a while and we'd always joke around together about doing it in the bathroom or something silly like that.. Then one day my friend wanted to ask out some guy she knew to her son's hockey game but couldn't get up the courage, so I said 'If I ask Darryl will you just go ask that guy?' and so she agreed.. So I found Darryl and asked him what he was doing that night and he said he was taking his snowmobile out that night and asked why I wanted to know.. So I told him I wanted him to come with me to a hockey game.. He basically told me that hockey was lame and for farmers lol :P.. But he said to give him my number anyways and that he couldn't give me his because he didn't want his old lady to get mad at him (the way he said it i figured he was joking about being in a relationship already..)

 

 

 

So later that night I get a phone call and he tells me to come meet him at a bar.. So I agreed.. That led to one of the greatest times I've ever had.. In short we basically went on one awesome adventure, involving crazy snowmobiling, going to the bar and a casino, and going on a roadtrip to a completely different city and getting a hotel room and skipping school the next day.. The reason we went to the other city though was he wanted me to hang out with him all for the next day and not go to school because he and his gf (actually his fiance I later found out) were having a fight.. She called while we were hanging out that night and was with a bunch of guys who were making fun of and insulting Darryl so that he could hear them in the background.. He was pretty upset by that and that's why he asked me to keep him company for the rest of the night and the next day.. When we returned the next night he was locked out of his house and so he had to go stay at his brothers.. Now before that adventure with him I wasn't really sure I actually liked him, I knew I liked him enough that it'd be a cool to hang out with him outside of school.. But after spending that time with him I learned soo much more about him and I was basically hooked ^^'.. However he had a fiance so I just tried to hide my feelings and told myself to just be happy that we could be friends.. Then the other weekend he came by my house for a party my roommate was throwing.. We ended up on another crazy adventure which resulted in us basically hijacking my roommates truck and not coming back until after noon the next day.. Then a couple days after that he stopped by the house asking if I knew where his wallet and what not was.. I told him I didn't and then he told me that his fiance was done with him and that she had done all she could to end it, even giving their month's notice on the house they were living in and so now he was living at his moms..

 

 

 

So for the next while I started to get my hopes up about this, since he was available now, I figured I'd casually ask him to come watch a movie or what not with me and see what happened after that.. However just the other day I phoned his moms house and apparently he wasn't living there.. And then yesterday he stopped by to see me at school.. And before he left he said "well I gotta get going, my old lady's waiting".. So after getting my hopes up and allowing myself to think about how much I liked him, he's back with his gf/fiance.. So now I don't know what to do.. He's told me enough stories that I really do wonder if they'll be able to work things out well enough between them to get married and be happy (although most of what he told me he told me while drunk so it could've sounded worse than it was).. So that's my predicament.. He came by yesterday and I was thinking about telling him I liked him.. But I figured I'd try and go back to the friend thing and just see if I could handle knowing how much I liked him without letting him at least know that.. He left and I felt horrible.. So I think I really want to let him know how I feel.. But if he's really happy with his current woman then I want us to still be friends like we are because I do want him to just be happy because he's still my friend no matter what..[/hide]

 

 

 

So yea.. there it is.. All I know is I really like him, and that I think it really could be something amazing.. But because of his current situation I really am at a loss for what I should do.. So if anyone has anything they want to say about this then please do.. I'll take anything I can get =s

 

 

 

Jesus. That's quite a situation. Honestly I don't see their relationship as being very stable. Ethically, just be close friends with him. or you can be the maniulative [bleep] that tears them apart for a stab at "true" happiness. If you like drama, tell him how you feel and let it play out. Atleast that way you can say you tried. Is his relationship issue his fault or his "old ladies"? (personally I wouoldn't even want to involve my self with this guy judging by his actions)

 

 

 

Haha yea it is.. And I would never try to do anything to his relationship with someone else because he is my friend and I want him to be happy no matter what =)

 

 

 

 

 

So I have a new update on my 'little' situation.. I just got off the phone with that guy He phoned and told me that his relationship with that other girl was done.. And then he said he just wanted to phone and see how I was doing and what not because he's cool like that :P.. Then he said he was thinking about coming to visit tomorrow which I didn't object to of course :lol: I also told him that I got a new hairdo which is kinda like a mohawk and he was all 'wtf are you serious?' lol.. so I told him "yea.. but it's not exactly like it sounds so you should definitly come over tomorrow and check it out" (yea I know, I'm smooth like that =P).. So he said he would be over tomorrow night.. I can't wait tbh =3.. I'm practically giddy.. I haven't seen him in a while and I'm so pumped about this =D Especially since I now know he is single.. Although I dunno if I want to say something about how I feel tomorrow or not.. I'm thinking I should try and play it cool and be like "So we should go out for supper sometime this week to celebrate my birthday" or something like that.. Since it is my birthday this week and I can sort of ask him out without really asking him out.. Haha I dunno.. So if anyone has any input I'd gladly hear it.. I'm off to go clean my room and maybe take a run on the elliptical because that phone call with him got me all hyper and I can barely contain myself :oops:

Attagirl. Attagirl. Now you seduce him or whatever it was exactly that you wanted to do.

 

 

 

Be safe.

Okay, since the title states "relationship advice", I'm going to assume this goes for family related problems as well. Report this if you think doesn't belong.

 

Right, I have a really bloody annoying brother. He became this way ever since he got into his new school. Must've knocked his noggin on some wall because he's started spouting stupefying versions of common vulgarities. He's basically a pseudo-gangster, with no guts at all when made to do actual stints. Now, I can tolerate that, but his "gangster" attitude brings on another problem: stubborness. He has been incredibly stubborn in the past, and hanging out with "friends" doesn't help. He REFUSES to accept any kind of mistake, often blaming it on some non existant problem. When I nicely attempt to correct me, he shows a supreme air of arrogance and challenges me to fix it. Living with him is like hell.

 

Did I mention he's a bad sport to boot?

 

 

 

Halp pl0x. :wall: :wall: :wall:

 

No, I am seriously not making this up.

Little brothers can be royal pains in the [wagon].

 

 

 

But, since he's acting "gangsta", I suggest a swift and brutal kick to the nuts.

 

 

 

Really, though, I suggest you just ignore him. He'll grow up, eventually.

Ah yes, that's where it gets different. You see, it's my OLDER brother who is even more immature than my younger brother (I'm the kid in the middle).

Jesus...

 

 

 

Inform your parents that he's being a right douchebag. Best course of action really.

i agree with 2 posts up

Uhm..Well, I have a situation I guess you could say...

 

 

 

There is this girl at my school, and like, for some reason, I'm truly, like amazingly attracted to her. Now let me explain to you where the problem comes out. Me and her have already gone out once...Or twice...And after the second time, she said, I think we are better as friends.

 

 

 

Okay thats great and all, but I still like you...So yeah...But now, the real problem is, she likes my best friend, and I'm pretty sure shes head over heels for him, they always go and like talk and stuff together..So now my question is...

 

 

 

Should I tell her how I feel about her? And risk her blowing me off or telling everyone?

 

 

 

Or should I TRY and move on for about the fourth or fifth time...?

Move on.

 

 

 

Seriously, she likes your best friend, don't get in their way.