Bullies

[Quoi_Tu]

It isn't JUST words. People say like that you don't need violence to solve problems, words can do all that yada yada save the world ect. But then go and say 'It's just a bunch of words, ignore them!'. Bleh.

 

Depending on the words, you can try to be clever/witty/funny (key point: positive) back and smile. If you don't have an easy going manner, try to feign one (at least for awhile) and put on the appearance that you think the bully's just joking around and you're joining in with a good mix self-depreciating jokes. If you're laughing at jokes you make about yourself, bully could very well lose interest.

[ember3579]

It isn't JUST words. People say like that you don't need violence to solve problems, words can do all that yada yada save the world ect. But then go and say 'It's just a bunch of words, ignore them!'. Bleh.

 

Depending on the words, you can try to be clever/witty/funny (key point: positive) back and smile. If you don't have an easy going manner, try to feign one (at least for awhile) and put on the appearance that you think the bully's just joking around and you're joining in with a good mix self-depreciating jokes. If you're laughing at jokes you make about yourself, bully could very well lose interest.

 

 

 

 

 

They could also just as easily step up their game until it becomes unbearable to you. That's how they operate nowadays. It's not about revenge (most of the time), it's not about some sort of "know your place" bulls@#$ that gets brought up when cliques are involved, it's about torturing your fellow student and laughing as they squirm. Until you know it, you won't ever realize why it's so hard to ignore. In all honesty, probably one of the best ways to operate when people start with the verbal abuse is to try and make them slip up somehow (doing it in front of faculty, for example), or if you prefer the more expedient method, try and piss them off when they do it so they take a swing. BE DAMN SURE YOU CAN FIGHT IF YOU DO THIS!!!!! It helps immensely if you beat him within an inch of his life for his wasted effort, but it just makes it worse if it's YOU who gets their [wagon] kicked. Planning it out to where any buddies of his can't jump in also helps.

[Jernlov]

Everyone gets teased. It's best not to take people seriously.

 

 

 

That said, I did end up joining the side of the bullies.

[Dizzle229]

Coming up with something witty can end a situation pretty quicky.

 

 

 

The other day this kid was giving me a hard time.

 

 

 

Him: Heeey sexay.

 

Me: You know I think Disney World has a special day set aside for people like you.

 

Him: You saying I'm gay?

 

Me. No, of course not. I know you prefer to be called Fabulous Americans.

 

 

 

Hell, it wasn't even remotely good, point is it shut him up and he walked away pissed and embarrased (his friends were right there).

 

 

 

But there's a downside with them walking away pissed. This can mean they'll want to get back at you, which can be a big problem.

[ember3579]

Everyone gets teased. It's best not to take people seriously.

 

 

 

That said, I did end up joining the side of the bullies.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

....... -.- Read my last 2 posts, please. Nothing else can be said.

[Quoi_Tu]

Everyone gets teased. It's best not to take people seriously.

 

 

 

That said, I did end up joining the side of the bullies.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

....... -.- Read my last 2 posts, please. Nothing else can be said.

 

....... -.- Read his last line.

 

 

 

To your other post, I guess it depends on the type of bully. I never observed any serious bullies during my time in highschool. So I'm not familar with a bully who really wants to break someone down beyond what the TV tells me.

[Zierro]

Sometimes a bully just needs a damn good hiding, to show them they aren't so tough.

 

 

 

Sooo...A closet?

 

 

 

Lol, that's what I thought he meant too. I laughed at the joke, then I realized it wasn't a joke.

[Jernlov]

Everyone gets teased. It's best not to take people seriously.

 

 

 

That said, I did end up joining the side of the bullies.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

....... -.- Read my last 2 posts, please. Nothing else can be said.

I did. Lighten up, kiddo. Rebdragon pretty much covered it earlier. They pick on the weak because they can.

 

 

 

Never show them your fear. They can smell it.

[fastortoise]

Having a cool older brother pretty much gave me a free pass from highschool bullying, I was royalty. When he graduated I was accomplished enough not to be bothered by chowderheads... The only form of bullying I was subject to was from a teacher, but she was one of those crazy seperatistes who hated English folk. She'd never let me ask questions in class and would send me out if I talked to anybody (which I used to get out of school early).

 

 

 

You teenagers are so hopeless :|

[Riku3220]

Yeah, I think we should lay up a little bit off of Riku. He just hasn't seen real verbal abuse. Sadly, chances are, it would take some interesting methods to show him, but there are ways without directing it at him. I hate referencing TV shows especially in things like this, but a decent example of a quick bit of verbal abuse would be the House episode where Cuddy (the female boss of House) is given temporary custody of a sick kid through some randomness, and when he gets progressively worse and worse (this is right after she tried in vitro to get pregnant, it failed), House (when he's mad that he wasn't allowed to do something he thought necessary by Cuddy) says something to the effect of "It's a good thing you didn't get pregnant, because you suck as a mother." To you or me, that wouldn't be very serious. To her at the time, though, it would be basically the most psychologically excruciating thing to have ever happened. THAT is what verbal abuse is. It's basically psychological torture, minus the interrogation room. The words change from person to person, but the effect and purpose remains the same.

 

It doesn't matter what anybody says you can still choose to ignore it. By breaking down and showing that what the person said hurts or annoys you then you're only going to make them keep going. Keep your cool, hold in your anger or sadness, and by the time you get home you should have forgotten about it unless of course your one to keep grudges and that's not good at all...

[RayOxide]

Well, I guess you could say I am a bully in a way sometimes, only to one kid though, he is from Kurtistan (sp?), and people call him a terrorist. Yeah sure, it's racist as [bleep], but by calling him a terrorist, I dont get bullied.. I've kinda had enough of being bullied now anyway.

 

 

 

Yeah, it isnt fair, but this guy thought he was top [cabbage] the first term of highschool and decided to pick on me. Until one day I pushed him with my leg (not a kick, but like a push) into a table. Another week later or something, he started again, so I threw a table at him. The teacher didnt give a [cabbage] and neither did any of the students in the class. The teacher just asked 'Does he piss you off?'.

 

 

 

I guess I became a little bit more respected then.

 

 

 

Having a cool older brother pretty much gave me a free pass from highschool bullying, I was royalty. When he graduated I was accomplished enough not to be bothered by chowderheads... The only form of bullying I was subject to was from a teacher, but she was one of those crazy seperatistes who hated English folk. She'd never let me ask questions in class and would send me out if I talked to anybody (which I used to get out of school early).

 

 

 

You teenagers are so hopeless :|

 

 

 

Everyone at my school who has a cool older sibling seems to be the kind who bully people, because they expect to get the privelage, and defence.

[OnIIx]

I wagged 2-3 Months of school last year because bullies wouldn't leave me alone.

 

I've taken 2-3 weeks out of 8 so far thanks to them...

 

 

 

It's because I'm monotoned.

 

They need to die.

 

[bleep]ing black [racist term]s.

[Da_Latios]

Next time, punch one of them in the face.

 

The last time I ever got mad at someone was in 8th grade. I punched a kid in the nose because he put his sport shorts over my head. Then, I smashed his head into a wall.

 

That was the last time I displayed violence out of anger. Ever since then, I have never raised my voice or even sworn at someone out of anger.

 

Being calm really helps. When someone's yelling at you, talk calmly, don't clench your fists or your jaw. Always appear calm, and don't use big words or long sentences. Make short, brief statements and get to the point.

[Rollyboy]

If someone goes out to use excessive verbal abuse, e.g "You are a [bleeping] [bleep], your mum [bleeped] other men for money, you should go [bleeping] die, no one likes you [bleep] face". If it's that bad, than man that bully has major issues for real...

 

 

 

Some people that try to ignore bullies can't pull it off. You can actually see them trying to ignore them. Though when they 'try' to ignore them, their body language still reveals their real emotions. Bullies will look for any hint that their comments are affecting you. I guess your body language should also reflect that you don't care, else it won't work at all.

 

 

 

Last resort (if you can take on the bully) is to open a can of woop [wagon].

 

Or cry like a baby. waah *sob* why me *sob* *sob* ... no don't it.

[BlindBaker]

This year in ski club people laughed at my snow suit. It was a blue and yellow one-piece, and it family didn't have the money to buy a normal coat.

 

 

 

But, when I raced the whole ski club and won, they didn't laugh anymore. ;)

 

 

 

Besides that, I would write comics in elementary school and be very, uh, open about Runescape. Last year, a couple kids (who used to play Runescape as well, and wouldn't stop talking about it) picked on me and called me things like "Uber-Poonage" (how do you think they came up with that?). I was taller than him, but I knew he'd win a fight since he wrestles.

 

 

 

But then I figured, who the hell cares what he thinks? If he didn't know how much I'd changed, he obviously wasn't smart enough for me to even pay attention to him. So I ignored him.

[ember3579]

Yeah, I think we should lay up a little bit off of Riku. He just hasn't seen real verbal abuse. Sadly, chances are, it would take some interesting methods to show him, but there are ways without directing it at him. I hate referencing TV shows especially in things like this, but a decent example of a quick bit of verbal abuse would be the House episode where Cuddy (the female boss of House) is given temporary custody of a sick kid through some randomness, and when he gets progressively worse and worse (this is right after she tried in vitro to get pregnant, it failed), House (when he's mad that he wasn't allowed to do something he thought necessary by Cuddy) says something to the effect of "It's a good thing you didn't get pregnant, because you suck as a mother." To you or me, that wouldn't be very serious. To her at the time, though, it would be basically the most psychologically excruciating thing to have ever happened. THAT is what verbal abuse is. It's basically psychological torture, minus the interrogation room. The words change from person to person, but the effect and purpose remains the same.

 

It doesn't matter what anybody says you can still choose to ignore it. By breaking down and showing that what the person said hurts or annoys you then you're only going to make them keep going. Keep your cool, hold in your anger or sadness, and by the time you get home you should have forgotten about it unless of course your one to keep grudges and that's not good at all...

 

 

 

 

 

TECHNICALLY, you can. Realistically, if the bully in question is at all good at what he does, no human would be able to retain the absolute, stone cold composure that it would take for him to think that it glided off you unless if it really did, which seems to be your case. Some people are just gifted with near infinite patience. However, because THOSE people can do it doesn't mean that everyone else can. Oftentimes, bullies have over a decade to find your buttons or to install them. Unless if your name just so happens to be Gaara, chances are, you most likely won't be able to keep your cool after that. Also, some things would be hard to forget (ex; if a girl had their adored older brother die and some asshat started talking stuff related to either how he lived or died). You're forgetting the potential cruelty of humanity.

[Riku3220]

Yeah, I think we should lay up a little bit off of Riku. He just hasn't seen real verbal abuse. Sadly, chances are, it would take some interesting methods to show him, but there are ways without directing it at him. I hate referencing TV shows especially in things like this, but a decent example of a quick bit of verbal abuse would be the House episode where Cuddy (the female boss of House) is given temporary custody of a sick kid through some randomness, and when he gets progressively worse and worse (this is right after she tried in vitro to get pregnant, it failed), House (when he's mad that he wasn't allowed to do something he thought necessary by Cuddy) says something to the effect of "It's a good thing you didn't get pregnant, because you suck as a mother." To you or me, that wouldn't be very serious. To her at the time, though, it would be basically the most psychologically excruciating thing to have ever happened. THAT is what verbal abuse is. It's basically psychological torture, minus the interrogation room. The words change from person to person, but the effect and purpose remains the same.

 

It doesn't matter what anybody says you can still choose to ignore it. By breaking down and showing that what the person said hurts or annoys you then you're only going to make them keep going. Keep your cool, hold in your anger or sadness, and by the time you get home you should have forgotten about it unless of course your one to keep grudges and that's not good at all...

 

 

 

 

 

TECHNICALLY, you can. Realistically, if the bully in question is at all good at what he does, no human would be able to retain the absolute, stone cold composure that it would take for him to think that it glided off you unless if it really did, which seems to be your case. Some people are just gifted with near infinite patience. However, because THOSE people can do it doesn't mean that everyone else can. Oftentimes, bullies have over a decade to find your buttons or to install them. Unless if your name just so happens to be Gaara, chances are, you most likely won't be able to keep your cool after that. Also, some things would be hard to forget (ex; if a girl had their adored older brother die and some asshat started talking stuff related to either how he lived or died). You're forgetting the potential cruelty of humanity.

 

Yup, because teenagers have to uncanny ability to get into each others minds. To your example, why would someone who barely knew her brother be able to phase her at all? That's why I'm immune to bullying. I'm immune because I don't give a damn about someone who barely knows about my life makes remarks about because they don't know it. Anyone who's ever been bullied just needs to remember that what some idiot says to them doesn't matter.

[3rkid]

Riku, your afterschool special posts are all the same. I'm wondering how you've made the amount of posts you've made on this topic all on the same point "Don't let it bother you".

 

 

 

It doesn't work that way.

 

 

 

You're excused to go watch 7th Heaven now.

[Riku3220]

Riku, your afterschool special posts are all the same. I'm wondering how you've made the amount of posts you've made on this topic all on the same point "Don't let it bother you".

 

 

 

It doesn't work that way.

 

 

 

You're excused to go watch 7th Heaven now.

 

All of my posts use that point because that's all people need to do.

[3rkid]

Riku, your afterschool special posts are all the same. I'm wondering how you've made the amount of posts you've made on this topic all on the same point "Don't let it bother you".

 

 

 

It doesn't work that way.

 

 

 

You're excused to go watch 7th Heaven now.

 

All of my posts use that point because that's all people need to do.

 

 

 

You just end up repressing emotions and desires if you don't take some action and you'll end up regretting that you did nothing later.

 

 

 

Why do you endorse ignoring the bullies so much anyway?

[Riku3220]

Riku, your afterschool special posts are all the same. I'm wondering how you've made the amount of posts you've made on this topic all on the same point "Don't let it bother you".

 

 

 

It doesn't work that way.

 

 

 

You're excused to go watch 7th Heaven now.

 

All of my posts use that point because that's all people need to do.

 

 

 

You just end up repressing emotions and desires if you don't take some action and you'll end up regretting that you did nothing later.

 

 

 

Why do you endorse ignoring the bullies so much anyway?

 

Because it's the only non-violent approach to getting rid of them.

[3rkid]

Riku, your afterschool special posts are all the same. I'm wondering how you've made the amount of posts you've made on this topic all on the same point "Don't let it bother you".

 

 

 

It doesn't work that way.

 

 

 

You're excused to go watch 7th Heaven now.

 

All of my posts use that point because that's all people need to do.

 

 

 

You just end up repressing emotions and desires if you don't take some action and you'll end up regretting that you did nothing later.

 

 

 

Why do you endorse ignoring the bullies so much anyway?

 

Because it's the only non-violent approach to getting rid of them.

 

 

 

But that's the problem, it doesn't work most of the time. Only in TV shows and advice columns does it work.

[Riku3220]

Riku, your afterschool special posts are all the same. I'm wondering how you've made the amount of posts you've made on this topic all on the same point "Don't let it bother you".

 

 

 

It doesn't work that way.

 

 

 

You're excused to go watch 7th Heaven now.

 

All of my posts use that point because that's all people need to do.

 

 

 

You just end up repressing emotions and desires if you don't take some action and you'll end up regretting that you did nothing later.

 

 

 

Why do you endorse ignoring the bullies so much anyway?

 

Because it's the only non-violent approach to getting rid of them.

 

 

 

But that's the problem, it doesn't work most of the time. Only in TV shows and advice columns does it work.

 

Look, by ignoring I don't mean that "I'm not going to let you bother me cause I'm stronger than that" bull crap. I'm literally talking about not giving a damn about what someone says about you negatively.

[Dizzle229]

Riku, your afterschool special posts are all the same. I'm wondering how you've made the amount of posts you've made on this topic all on the same point "Don't let it bother you".

 

 

 

It doesn't work that way.

 

 

 

You're excused to go watch 7th Heaven now.

 

All of my posts use that point because that's all people need to do.

 

 

 

You just end up repressing emotions and desires if you don't take some action and you'll end up regretting that you did nothing later.

 

 

 

Why do you endorse ignoring the bullies so much anyway?

 

Because it's the only non-violent approach to getting rid of them.

 

 

 

But that's the problem, it doesn't work most of the time. Only in TV shows and advice columns does it work.

 

Look, by ignoring I don't mean that "I'm not going to let you bother me cause I'm stronger than that" bull crap. I'm literally talking about not giving a damn about what someone says about you negatively.

 

 

 

But people DO give a damn. The fact that you don't is really a very good thing, but not everyone can.

 

 

 

A big problem I have is that even if they haven't really gotten to me, which they do about 25% of the time, for some reason I just CAN'T let them go with them thinking they accomplished something. I just can't let them have that satisfaction.

[The_Gabe]

I get bullied all the time, and I'm one of those people with low self esteem who are depressed a lot. I'll probably snap one of these days. I nearly threw an apple at this kid's nose because he was pissing me off.