Well, I've had a bad day. Today I found out that one of my co-workers at BK died in a car accident on his way to work a 5 this morning. Now this guy was not a very close friend of mine, but I still knew him pretty well. He is also one of my sister's best friends.

 

 

 

I'm not just posting this topic to state that I have had a friend who died, but I need to know how to deal with it. I'm not one who wears my emotions on my sleeves, but I have broken down crying a couple of times today. I don't want to start crying in front of my sister, because I know that she is going though twice what I am.(She also works at BK) Also, she had another friend who worked with her who died back in March.(I was actually hired 6 hours after his death).

 

 

 

This is the second death of someone relatively close to me that I've ever had to deal with. The first was my grandma back when I was 11, but that was kind of expected because she had had cancer for years. This time it is different, because this guy was only 20 years old. He wasn't on bedrest for 3 months like my grandma was. He actually posted on facebook that he was going to work about 10 minutes before his death. This eats me alive on the inside because it makes me realize that anyone's life can end in the blink of an eye.

 

 

 

Also, the main problem with this is that I can't actually grasp what has happened. I know he died, but I still feel like I'm gonna see him soon, like he isn't even gone. But he is. I will never talk to him again. All his future plans, everything, gone. Him going through school is now deemed pointless.

 

 

 

His funeral is Wednesday, which is when I will probably finally understand that he's gone. I just can't believe this has happened. I wanna wake up from this nightmare.

I understand what you're going for. One of my best childhood friends died two years ago in March. We had been drifting in recent years but it was still painful. Unfortunately I wasn't able to go to the funeral (it was a very small, private affair), but I did find some solace visiting the grave. Cry it out, go to the funeral, accept the grief and move on. It's all anyone can do.

I get the whole feel like you're gonna see him soon. I had a close friend die back in October. We were like brothers. He was 21 and was walking near his house when a drunk driver came over the curb and hit him from behind. I sorta just tried to keep my mind busy. I look at death as just another part of life. It wasn't pleasant because we were so close but you just have to move on. Life is too short to worry about when you're gonna die, just live life and have fun doing it.

I don't have any advice on how to deal with it because I've never dealt with the loss of one of my friends(just grandparents, but they were expected.)

 

 

 

But we've lost touch since our RS days, and I want you to know I'm sorry and thinking of you in this time.

There's no easy way of dealing with Death, whether you knew them well or didn't. I've dealt with a couple of deaths in my life, my Grandmother, my favorite teacher, my rugby coach (He changed my life for me so it was a lot harder) and two of my best friends, both at the same time, I was with them when it happened.

 

 

 

I've never found a method which specifically helps with dealing with Death, but what I've always found helpful is to sit down with your friends who knew him and just chill and talk about him, remembering the good times and the funny moments with him. As with the vast majority of Deaths, it will get harder before it gets easier, I wish you and your sister luck though with dealing with it.

A mate of mine died today too. I don't know how I'm coping because it hasn't really sunk in that he's gone.

Hopefully after the funeral you will be able to cope. I understand that it is very difficult, I've gone through a similar situation a few times.

I think the only way to deal with this, is to accept he is gone.

 

offcourse this isn't easy, but I think its the only way.

A mate of mine died today too. I don't know how I'm coping because it hasn't really sunk in that he's gone.

 

 

 

I'm sorry for your loss.

 

 

 

And thanks to all of you for the advice, I will try to move on, but I know it will be hard. After waking up this morning I do feel a bit better about it.

What sucks about death is that it can happen at any moment, even a young man with his whole life ahead of him. Last year when me and my friend were just 14, his mother was hit by a train and killed on the spot. It was probably the worst possible way for her to die, because she had been successfully fighting breast cancer for over 5 years and survived a terrible car crash the year before. It seemed like life was on her side. Then somehow she was killed on the same train tracks that she crossed over every day for over a decade on her way home from work. It seemed so sick to me how death could be so random. I was rather close to her, and it never occured to me just how easy it is to die. That was the closest death i'd ever felt, because thankfully i had never had any close family deaths before that. I'm truly sorry about the los of your friend because deaths that sudden and unexpected are impossible to get over right away.

It sucks, but it happens to everyone eventually. I work in the death business, but I really only see the people starting two days after the death. I can say that by then a lot of people are better, and that is only a few days. If they visit often many are ok to talk about the deceased without crying or getting upset by a week or two later. However there are some (generally a husband/wife who have been married forever) that don't get over it for a long time.

A guy I knew had a friend who died, so he started taking drugs too numb that pain. Don't do that.

 

 

 

Here's how I would. Let all that pain sink in, and it should slowly go away. Resisting it will make it worse imo.

I'm sorry for your loss, and the best way to deal with it is just grieving take it's course. Let it sink in, no matter how painful, accept it, and move on.

 

 

 

Death can strike at any time, and it's tragic when it happens to someone so young, but it's what makes life so valuable.

I'm sorry for your loss, and the best way to deal with it is just grieving take it's course. Let it sink in, no matter how painful, accept it, and move on.

 

 

 

Death can strike at any time, and it's tragic when it happens to someone so young, but it's what makes life so valuable.

 

Someone actually agreed with me. hmph, amazing.

 

It takes true heart (cheesy I know) to let all that in, and cry yourself out. But you will feel better after it.

what you really should not do is repress it, and try to ignore it, I did that. It works in the short term, but not in the long term.

I'm going to be a bit harsh now, so don't go blaming me. :

 

Just get over it. He's gone, nothing will change the fact that he is. Life comes and goes in a flash. Of course you feel grief - he's not an enemy soldier. If crying and stuff makes you feel a bit better and helps you cope, do it. I was homesick at a camp, so I went into the shower and lashed out at the door in the cold water. It helped. A lot.

In the 4 and a half year I was in Secondary school, I lost an aunt, 2 uncles, and 2 family friends. Since then, in 3 years, I have lost a cousin, and another pair of family friends. You juts have to let yourself do what you need to do. If you need to cry, cry. I didn't, but that's just me.

There's no easy way of dealing with Death, whether you knew them well or didn't. I've dealt with a couple of deaths in my life, my Grandmother, my favorite teacher, my rugby coach (He changed my life for me so it was a lot harder) and two of my best friends, both at the same time, I was with them when it happened.

 

 

 

I've never found a method which specifically helps with dealing with Death, but what I've always found helpful is to sit down with your friends who knew him and just chill and talk about him, remembering the good times and the funny moments with him. As with the vast majority of Deaths, it will get harder before it gets easier, I wish you and your sister luck though with dealing with it.

 

Indeed, this is a lot harder than it sounds when you actually try to do it(without crying at least), but trust me you will feel a lot better about yourself and your understanding once you have done it. I have lost almost all of my grandparents, (and this was all by the age of 13... I am 16 going on 17 now...) and each time was harder to deal with because I got to know them more and more; and knowing that I was never going to see them again didn't help me at all. I can only imagine how hard it must be to take this, but the fact remains. It's the sad truth that HE is the one that died, NOT you... I hate to say it but once you realize this it makes everything you think about it much clearer and you will find yourself not crying as much. At least that has worked for me.

 

Really all you can do now is go on, living your life. Keep him as an example and learn from his mistakes... Other than that you can't really do much about him being dead once he is buried. except.... :cry:

Sorry to hear of your loss bud. I went through something similar earlier this year, and I was able to deal with it by:

 

1. Talking about him like a normal person, things like "he would have loved that" and what not.

 

2. Remembering the good times, and him in general. His closest friends put pictures of him on the front of their binders as a daily reminder of what can happen.

 

I found that trying to forget about him/her is not the best way to go about it. That doesn't mean that you should think about him all the time, but don't try your hardest to forget what happened.

 

Always here for ya if you want to chat or something. :thumbup:

Yeah, I get you. It honestly does take a while for the feeling of them no longer being there to finally seem real. I lost my granddad 9 years ago, and it still seems as if he was here yesterday. However, the best thing you can do for yourself right now is to not get worked up - if you do, you'll end up getting crazily delusional about the whole prospect of your loss. In situations like these, it's always best to try and keep as level-headed as you possibly can. Don't cry too much, and certainly don't become mopish: remember your friend in a fond light, but carry on with your daily life at the same time.

 

 

 

All the best.

I lost one of my best friends 3 years ago. It's hard to accept that he is gone, but you have to. Also, don't hold your feelings inside of you. Cry alone if you don't want to do it infront of your sister, or talk with your friends about it.