Web comic: Chronicles of Elementias

[Jaziek]

Misfile is a pretty decent manga-style comic. It's a serious comic and has a great story. If you're planning on having a serious comic, you should really get your storyline down before you start anything. I honestly think you should start over. It's fine if you want to have a manga-style half serious half funny comic, and if you want to keep the story that's fine, but it's really confusing right now. You need to re-do it from the beginning and make sure the story is clear enough for a 10 year-old to follow it.

 

Although I suggest you re-do it and make sure you stay either serious or funny, because half and half is too difficult to pull off. That's why you don't see it very often.

 

I'm probably going to get a lot of hate for it but I really dislike Misfile.

 

Half and Half is possible but you have to be good at it. Really it's just all about timing, you can't really mix them more as you have some seriousness, some comedy, some seriousness, ect. Plenty of Anime (that were Manga before it) have a serious and a funny side to them. Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann and The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzimiya are probably two good examples of how to do it right, and Lagann does it all in a very ridiculous universe.

 

I've never read the manga of them though so I'm not sure how they handle that.

 

hate to say it, but for once, TTGL and TMoHS are bad examples. Gurren Lagann doesnt have a manga, it was an original work, and Haruhi was a novel before it was a show, then the manga came after both of them, and it isnt very good.

 

You're right about the story elements though, of course.

 

having said that...

 

http://captainosaka.deviantart.com/art/DOUBLE-K-001-82688715

 

http://captainosaka.deviantart.com/gallery/#DOUBLE-K

 

heres the first page of a fanmade comic based on TTGL which is absolutely excellent.

[Pintsew]

A friend and I decided to start a web comic three weeks ago. We update the site every Sunday. http://elementias.webs.com/

 

In order to view the previous pages click on the archives link on the left. Also if you like it please click the vote button it will make me happy =)

whats up dude

[Pintsew]

man you guys do a lot of hate on my work man

i mean give the guy a break we'er posting comics up for fun here

yes i have a sloppy hand writing but were trin to get materials as of now so it should be better once we get the necessary materials

PS its not easy since were broke

but i'll go back and make it easier and better once i get it

but then again i hate doing a lot of work so i tend to slack off so it's my fault

irregardless hope to see more comics by the business gorillas where we always get the job done, and the ultimate Smile where smile at all your problems have a good day

until business calls

hopefully hopefully it's original got bored there for a moment

[Nadril]

hate to say it, but for once, TTGL and TMoHS are bad examples. Gurren Lagann doesnt have a manga, it was an original work, and Haruhi was a novel before it was a show, then the manga came after both of them, and it isnt very good.

 

You're right about the story elements though, of course.

 

having said that...

 

http://captainosaka....-K-001-82688715

 

http://captainosaka....llery/#DOUBLE-K

 

heres the first page of a fanmade comic based on TTGL which is absolutely excellent.

 

Fair enough. I don't read manga so I just assume most anime comes from manga first, haha.

 

 

man you guys do a lot of hate on my work man

i mean give the guy a break we'er posting comics up for fun here

yes i have a sloppy hand writing but were trin to get materials as of now so it should be better once we get the necessary materials

PS its not easy since were broke

but i'll go back and make it easier and better once i get it

but then again i hate doing a lot of work so i tend to slack off so it's my fault

 

Your "work" is really bad, and having no money isn't an excuse. You can always draw the pages and then scan them in, after all. I mean you aren't so broke that you can't get a scanner or afford a trip to the library to use theirs right?

[Pintsew]

here is our myspace url

please do add us a friend :)

http://www.myspace.com/swift-as-the-wind

[ElkNight]

:wall:

[Pintsew]

hate to say it, but for once, TTGL and TMoHS are bad examples. Gurren Lagann doesnt have a manga, it was an original work, and Haruhi was a novel before it was a show, then the manga came after both of them, and it isnt very good.

 

You're right about the story elements though, of course.

 

having said that...

 

http://captainosaka....-K-001-82688715

 

http://captainosaka....llery/#DOUBLE-K

 

heres the first page of a fanmade comic based on TTGL which is absolutely excellent.

 

Fair enough. I don't read manga so I just assume most anime comes from manga first, haha.

 

 

man you guys do a lot of hate on my work man

i mean give the guy a break we'er posting comics up for fun here

yes i have a sloppy hand writing but were trin to get materials as of now so it should be better once we get the necessary materials

PS its not easy since were broke

but i'll go back and make it easier and better once i get it

but then again i hate doing a lot of work so i tend to slack off so it's my fault

 

Your "work" is really bad, and having no money isn't an excuse. You can always draw the pages and then scan them in, after all. I mean you aren't so broke that you can't get a scanner or afford a trip to the library to use theirs right?

 

 

i'm not using it as an excuse i do the drawing give to the guy and he puts it on the site

and its like i said up there it'll get better

true that it might suck but its not a total failure

besides i did say that i was going to redraw to whole thing once i get materials

and school work do come first you know so i don't have a lot of free time 12th grade isn't all that easy either well right not try to keep a 90 average for each class isn't all that easy, but still that is not excuse

besides i usually rush things so for now i'm all good on what it turns out for now but it will improve that i can grantee so you can think of it almost like a rough draft

[M_u_s_ii_X]

:wall:

 

+1 :lol:

 

I don't understand the meaning of this comic.

[Pintsew]

:wall:

 

+1 :lol:

 

I don't understand the meaning of this comic.

there reaiy was no meaning when i made it but the thought that i was bored

[Nadril]

i'm not using it as an excuse i do the drawing give to the guy and he puts it on the site

and its like i said up there it'll get better

true that it might suck but its not a total failure

besides i did say that i was going to redraw to whole thing once i get materials

and school work do come first you know so i don't have a lot of free time 12th grade isn't all that easy either well right not try to keep a 90 average for each class isn't all that easy, but still that is not excuse

besides i usually rush things so for now i'm all good on what it turns out for now but it will improve that i can grantee so you can think of it almost like a rough draft

 

I don't need you to explain everything to me. Do whatever you can so it doesn't look like a total failure even if it means spending more time between panels. For someone who is a Senior in high school your artwork is atrocious. (not to mention the way you type makes me think you were in middle school).

[Pintsew]

i'm not using it as an excuse i do the drawing give to the guy and he puts it on the site

and its like i said up there it'll get better

true that it might suck but its not a total failure

besides i did say that i was going to redraw to whole thing once i get materials

and school work do come first you know so i don't have a lot of free time 12th grade isn't all that easy either well right not try to keep a 90 average for each class isn't all that easy, but still that is not excuse

besides i usually rush things so for now i'm all good on what it turns out for now but it will improve that i can grantee so you can think of it almost like a rough draft

 

I don't need you to explain everything to me. Do whatever you can so it doesn't look like a total failure even if it means spending more time between panels. For someone who is a Senior in high school your artwork is atrocious. (not to mention the way you type makes me think you were in middle school).

my art work is alot better trust me those are anime drawings

[ElkNight]

Prove it?

[Nadril]

i'm not using it as an excuse i do the drawing give to the guy and he puts it on the site

and its like i said up there it'll get better

true that it might suck but its not a total failure

besides i did say that i was going to redraw to whole thing once i get materials

and school work do come first you know so i don't have a lot of free time 12th grade isn't all that easy either well right not try to keep a 90 average for each class isn't all that easy, but still that is not excuse

besides i usually rush things so for now i'm all good on what it turns out for now but it will improve that i can grantee so you can think of it almost like a rough draft

 

I don't need you to explain everything to me. Do whatever you can so it doesn't look like a total failure even if it means spending more time between panels. For someone who is a Senior in high school your artwork is atrocious. (not to mention the way you type makes me think you were in middle school).

my art work is alot better trust me those are anime drawings

 

Yeah lets see what you have. If you aren't used to drawing in an anime style, after all, just switch. It's not like you need to draw like that.

[Danqazmlp]

Ok guys, did you all start off being good? No I don't think so.

 

The gallery is not just for people to show the best work they have ever done once a month (we saw how dry this area came when it was that). This forum is also for people to learn, and show their work as they are learning.

 

It is obscene to think somebody will start a comic at the standard of some of the best on the net. Most of them probably started off in their early years fairly badly drawn with rather lacking stories. It will take some experience for this comic to get to a higher specification, but that is because it is new, and probably (I'm guessing here) by people who have very little experience in doing this sort of thing.

 

Giving overly harsh criticism helps nobody, I'd much rather see a lot of sub-par work here but see a minority of them flourish and end up with good art after they gain experience, than have the same very few people post a picture or two every month, with all the new artists shunned out.

 

I think people need to remember to give new artists a chance. Remember the "Constructive" part in constructive criticism.

[cretureisland]

Thank you Dan for being the voice of sense and reason.

[Pintsew]

i'm not using it as an excuse i do the drawing give to the guy and he puts it on the site

and its like i said up there it'll get better

true that it might suck but its not a total failure

besides i did say that i was going to redraw to whole thing once i get materials

and school work do come first you know so i don't have a lot of free time 12th grade isn't all that easy either well right not try to keep a 90 average for each class isn't all that easy, but still that is not excuse

besides i usually rush things so for now i'm all good on what it turns out for now but it will improve that i can grantee so you can think of it almost like a rough draft

 

I don't need you to explain everything to me. Do whatever you can so it doesn't look like a total failure even if it means spending more time between panels. For someone who is a Senior in high school your artwork is atrocious. (not to mention the way you type makes me think you were in middle school).

my art work is alot better trust me those are anime drawings

 

Yeah lets see what you have. If you aren't used to drawing in an anime style, after all, just switch. It's not like you need to draw like that.

anime is one of my strong points but hey what can you do going over the lines of a scanned pic with just a mouse, expect better work for the next page

also we'll go back and do the same for the other pages

till then

[Nadril]

Ok guys, did you all start off being good? No I don't think so.

 

The gallery is not just for people to show the best work they have ever done once a month (we saw how dry this area came when it was that). This forum is also for people to learn, and show their work as they are learning.

 

It is obscene to think somebody will start a comic at the standard of some of the best on the net. Most of them probably started off in their early years fairly badly drawn with rather lacking stories. It will take some experience for this comic to get to a higher specification, but that is because it is new, and probably (I'm guessing here) by people who have very little experience in doing this sort of thing.

 

Giving overly harsh criticism helps nobody, I'd much rather see a lot of sub-par work here but see a minority of them flourish and end up with good art after they gain experience, than have the same very few people post a picture or two every month, with all the new artists shunned out.

 

I think people need to remember to give new artists a chance. Remember the "Constructive" part in constructive criticism.

 

Yeah because I haven't been giving any tips at all, right? Your post is pretty much just like clockwork Dan, now we're going to have another couple of pages arguing about the merits of criticism and what is "too harsh" or not too harsh. (Boring). (Not to mention you did nothing to help them so touche.)

 

anime is one of my strong points but hey what can you do going over the lines of a scanned pic with just a mouse, expect better work for the next page

also we'll go back and do the same for the other pages

till then

 

Get a better scanner if you're having such issues. Or check up on deviantart for a lineart tutorial, it's not very difficult to do (really). If anything just go for that "sketchy" look.

 

And anyways my point is is that even sans-digital the drawing is still really really bad and lacks a lot of basic anatomy. (And yes it is anime so some stretch of imagination is fine but you still need to know the basics first). (Also I'd post the same anatomy link as I always do but no one ever looks at it so forget that).

At least show us an un-altered image or something and maybe we can tell you what you are doing wrong. Right now there isn't much to really say other than "draw better" or critiquing the storyline or panel-type. Like I said though manga is really out of my league, I know web-comics a lot better.

 

 

Oh well this thread is a trainwreck, I'll stop posting here if you want.

[Danqazmlp]

I agree Nadril, a lot of your posts have been constructive, that mainly was not aimed at you, but people posting spam without anything constructive.

[Pintsew]

Ok guys, did you all start off being good? No I don't think so.

 

The gallery is not just for people to show the best work they have ever done once a month (we saw how dry this area came when it was that). This forum is also for people to learn, and show their work as they are learning.

 

It is obscene to think somebody will start a comic at the standard of some of the best on the net. Most of them probably started off in their early years fairly badly drawn with rather lacking stories. It will take some experience for this comic to get to a higher specification, but that is because it is new, and probably (I'm guessing here) by people who have very little experience in doing this sort of thing.

 

Giving overly harsh criticism helps nobody, I'd much rather see a lot of sub-par work here but see a minority of them flourish and end up with good art after they gain experience, than have the same very few people post a picture or two every month, with all the new artists shunned out.

 

I think people need to remember to give new artists a chance. Remember the "Constructive" part in constructive criticism.

 

Yeah because I haven't been giving any tips at all, right? Your post is pretty much just like clockwork Dan, now we're going to have another couple of pages arguing about the merits of criticism and what is "too harsh" or not too harsh. (Boring). (Not to mention you did nothing to help them so touche.)

 

anime is one of my strong points but hey what can you do going over the lines of a scanned pic with just a mouse, expect better work for the next page

also we'll go back and do the same for the other pages

till then

 

Get a better scanner if you're having such issues. Or check up on deviantart for a lineart tutorial, it's not very difficult to do (really). If anything just go for that "sketchy" look.

 

And anyways my point is is that even sans-digital the drawing is still really really bad and lacks a lot of basic anatomy. (And yes it is anime so some stretch of imagination is fine but you still need to know the basics first). (Also I'd post the same anatomy link as I always do but no one ever looks at it so forget that).

At least show us an un-altered image or something and maybe we can tell you what you are doing wrong. Right now there isn't much to really say other than "draw better" or critiquing the storyline or panel-type. Like I said though manga is really out of my league, I know web-comics a lot better.

 

 

Oh well this thread is a trainwreck, I'll stop posting here if you want.

we are going to re post the pages soon so don't give up on it yet. right now it trial and error we are still trin to figure out which is best. hopfully the improve one works a lot better

[Pintsew]

http://z6.invisionfree.com/Chron_of_Elementias/index.php?act=Attach&type=post&id=677206

here is one of my work drew it from a book

My link

this is the first page nothing done with it just the first page

[Hawks]

It's freaking MySpace (and your profile is private. :wall: ). Post it on PhotoBucket or TinyPic or something.

[Pintsew]

It's freaking MySpace (and your profile is private. :wall: ). Post it on PhotoBucket or TinyPic or something.

you sure

[ElkNight]

It's freaking MySpace (and your profile is private. :wall: ). Post it on PhotoBucket or TinyPic or something.

What?

[NoFuns]

I'm also new to graphic design [similar (in a way) to this].

 

I'm not going to repeat what's been said.

 

Your dialogue seems extremely out of place. If you're trying to make the alien talk poorly, mix it up a bit. Don't put aweful grammatical errors on every single word that comes from him. It makes it impossible to read, and doesn't even sound like hes trying to speak english.

 

Even if you aren't the best at dialogue, at least try and make it sound decent. "his head just got all big".....

I may be like everybody else. It doesnt even seem like you tried to come up with flowing dialogue. It sounds like a 7-year-old telling a story.

 

A great storyline can cover up sloppy animation. (but it takes both to be something that stands out)

 

I'd really suggest that you start over (maybe retain those epic battles of Darkness vs. Fire until those characters have been introduced).

Select a main character and explain his situation. This seem like.. watching someone play Tekken.. "Yoshimitsu and Tarutaru are fighting on a spaceship! With no purpose, story, or setup."

 

The short and sweet - The greatest animator in the WORLD could not make this work. Keep trying, anyone can learn to do this type of thing. However, it takes practice. So far: all you have is 5 pages that explain nothing.

Put yourself in the shoes of the reader. They don't know what's coming up, they ONLY know what has happened on frames before the one they're currently reading. Holes in the story completely killed it for me.

 

Whew. Good luck man, it does take a lot of time to make a project that the public will see as worthwhile. If you're making this comic for yourself, who cares. But you've posted this in a public place - so try and appeal to at least one person besides yourself. :)

[Pintsew]

I'm also new to graphic design [similar (in a way) to this].

 

I'm not going to repeat what's been said.

 

Your dialogue seems extremely out of place. If you're trying to make the alien talk poorly, mix it up a bit. Don't put aweful grammatical errors on every single word that comes from him. It makes it impossible to read, and doesn't even sound like hes trying to speak english.

 

Even if you aren't the best at dialogue, at least try and make it sound decent. "his head just got all big".....

I may be like everybody else. It doesnt even seem like you tried to come up with flowing dialogue. It sounds like a 7-year-old telling a story.

 

A great storyline can cover up sloppy animation. (but it takes both to be something that stands out)

 

I'd really suggest that you start over (maybe retain those epic battles of Darkness vs. Fire until those characters have been introduced).

Select a main character and explain his situation. This seem like.. watching someone play Tekken.. "Yoshimitsu and Tarutaru are fighting on a spaceship! With no purpose, story, or setup."

 

The short and sweet - The greatest animator in the WORLD could not make this work. Keep trying, anyone can learn to do this type of thing. However, it takes practice. So far: all you have is 5 pages that explain nothing.

Put yourself in the shoes of the reader. They don't know what's coming up, they ONLY know what has happened on frames before the one they're currently reading. Holes in the story completely killed it for me.

 

Whew. Good luck man, it does take a lot of time to make a project that the public will see as worthwhile. If you're making this comic for yourself, who cares. But you've posted this in a public place - so try and appeal to at least one person besides yourself. :)

true and it's like i've said this for quite some time, here it goes again were goin to try something new if that works i'll go back and fix the pages up