Granted, but they all smell like cat pee.

 

 

 

I wish mods would stop posting in the counting games.

Granted. They start doing their job and funny posts never last for more than 10 seconds. :cry:

 

 

 

I wish that people would read threads before posting...

Granted. People read every single post in every thread they want to post in before posting. As such, they spend much much more of their time reading and much much less time posting and most people just stop posting altogether. Wait... That might actually be a good thing.... Ummm... You somehow become a zombie and get slaughtered by the TZDF.

 

 

 

 

 

I wish I had millions of peaches.

Granted, but the genie who is granting all these wishes mishears your wish and grants you millions of leeches.

 

 

 

I wish I was 600 feet tall.

Granted. People take you for a monster and kill you. You then become a 600 foot tall zombie and get killed again.

 

 

 

 

 

I wish I could just snap my fingers and get a good job.

Granted. Attempting to snap your hands fall off and disintegrate to dust. Also, no prosthetic will fit on your arm stumps for some reason.

 

 

 

I wish you had corrupted Goon's wish by invoking gravity.

Granted. He falls on you and kills you and nobody gets zombefied which makes things much less awesome.

 

 

 

 

 

I wish I couldn't dehydrate.

Granted! You are now a fish.

 

 

 

I wish I was cool enough to own a Shamwow.

Granted. Billy Mays impales you with a sword made out of Might Putty.

 

 

 

I wish I has some Oxy-Clean.

Granted, the Oxy-Clean magically appears in your stomach.

 

 

 

I wish I was half muppet.

Granted, the half is your vital organs, which since they have been muppetized no longer function. During your autopsy they decide to callthe condition "Goonstalf Syndrome". It becomes the most feared condition in the entire world even though you were the only person afflicted by it. Everyone now curses the name Goonstalf and everything associated with it.

 

 

 

I wish the Oxy-Clean was out of my body. It tastes like burning. :cry:

Granted, it's now in a water balloon headed straight for your face. But don't worry, I stuck a few mints in there, it should taste minty.

 

 

 

I wish cats were 600 feet tall.

Granted. The eat you up rather quickly. Shortly afterwards their bones are crushed by the immense weight of gravity on them.

 

 

 

I wish I could keep posting but I have homework.

Granted, a meteor lands on your homework, but it also landed on your refrigerator which contained your precious chocolate milk which vaporized instantly.

 

 

 

I wish my school got out sooner than 2 weeks.

Granted. They decided to fail you all rather than going through two weeks.

 

 

 

I wish I wasn't a massive procrastinator. :wall:

Granted, you get struck BY LIGHTNING!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wish I hadn't hit enter so many times.

Granted

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

you

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

hit

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

enter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

this

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

many

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

times.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wish for a mod not to delete/change this. :uhh:

Granted, they just ban you instead.

 

 

 

I wish for cake that isnt a lie.

Granted. Your cake is now a bomb that explodes as you go to cut it.

 

 

 

 

 

I wish I could shoot mind bullets.

Granted. Unfortunately, a mind bullet penetrates your skull and you drop dead.

 

 

 

I wish that I was rich in cash, legally.

Granted. But now you pay taxes.

 

 

 

I wish I spent more time sleeping..

Granted. You get put under an updated version of the spell used on sleeping beauty and now nothing can wake you.

 

 

 

 

 

I wish I could be constantly upgrading all my computer equipment for free and without doing any work.

Granted, but it's updated too much and gets a mind of its own and slices you in half by making an alliance with the desktop fan.

 

 

 

I wish we could all be friends and go corrupt some other group of guys wishs.

But we are not because obama aproved the stimulis bill.

 

 

 

I wish that i had a pet pony that ate grilled cheese sandwiches

Granted. However, it eats so many sandwiches that it dies of constipation.

 

 

 

 

 

I wish I could legally download any song I wanted for free.