Granted, that "some day" is 60 years from now.

 

I wish Barack Obama would change his name to Liar And Proud Of It.

Granted. He applies for a name change but then changes it back in 28 days.

 

I wish I could have true happiness.

Granted, you ignore all the problems due to your happiness. And then something VERY bad happens to you, you have no idea what to do about it because you're always happy.

 

I wish the number 37 was dividable with more than just 1 and 37.

Granted. You break math and none of it works anymore.

 

I wish I could solve all of my own problems easily.

Granted, you become the perfect man and never have any problems ever again. Not only can you solve all your problems easily, you can solve literally EVERYTHING easily, so nothing is challenging anymore. Life soon becomes boring.

 

I wish Tokyo and Japan were two totally different places.

Granted. Nobody can find either of them anymore.

 

I wish I had a "zest for life" as they say.

Granted:

 

I wish I had a bucket of fried chicken.

W00t it didn't get corrupted.

Granted. You neglect it while playing RuneScape for a while and it gets cold and tastes bad.

 

I wish I could get max total sooner and that I was the only one that had this advantage.

Granted. You get banned for using a new and unique bot.

 

I wish I wasn't so bored right now.

Granted. You have so much stuff going on at this moment that it drives you insane.

 

I wish I had true friends.

Granted, they know you better than you know yourself. You don't understand why.

 

I wish I could rip people's hearts out without killing them. Then I'd freak out hell lot of people. :twisted:

Granted. Someone thinks it's funny to rip your heart out of yourself but since they don't have your ability, you die, or at least have to go the hospital for surgery.

 

I wish I had a girlfriend who was also my best friend.

Granted. She breaks up with you and you lose a girlfriend and best friend.

 

I wish for more hours in the day.

Granted. You have to sleep longer and it ends up being the same amount of time awake.

 

I wish I had a girlfriend who was also my best friend who would never break up with me.

Granted, she's too perfect. She does everything for you, literally everything, and she never sleeps. Even when you tell her to take a nap she just says "No thanks, honey." and as she is more tired you start feeling bad.

 

I wish I could prove that dragons are real. Then I'd prove it to all of the people who considers me a lunatic for believing in dragons and then say "Hah, who is the lunatic now?".

Granted. You get 30 seconds from the satisfaction of proving something everyone else thought you were crazy for and it never comes up again.

 

I wish I had an iPod that was impossible to break/malfunction.

Granted, all the music on your iPod is crap.

 

I wish movies would STOP coming weeks and months late here in Iceland compared to the US release dates. Seriously, I'm sick of it. <_<

Granted. They never come out at all in the US or Iceland.

 

I wish I had an unbreakable cell phone.

Granted, but you get no reception.

 

I wish Raja Gosnell would be fired from directing the upcoming Smurfs movie, and he would be replaced by a director who gives the upcoming Smurfs movie the respect it deserve.

Granted. It goes straight to DVD.

 

I wish I didn't stutter or have any kind of speech impediment.

Granted, but now you have problems with sight.

 

Alright, tell me, how does that direct-to-DVD movie turn out? I wish you'd tell me.

That direct-to-DVD movie turns out decent but is only available on the black market in Sri Lanka.

 

I wish all of my senses including common sense worked at the best they possibly could.

Granted, but the very best equals the very worst in the history of mankind.

Imagine that, with all the nutjobs around. xD

 

 

I wish I had written 3 excellent essays for my American studies course.

Granted. They are so well-written that your teacher thinks you plagiarized them and gives you a bad grade.

 

I wish I could feel whatever I wanted to at any time.

Actually plagiarism equals the end of one's academic career here.. Lovely.

 

Granted, but you don't know what to do with your time and therefore go insane.

 

I wish I could control my computer with throught.