Granted, but you may never post here again.

 

I wish I was good-looking.

I grant wishes, not do the impossible... ;)

 

I wish I didn't have finals.

Granted, you don't have finals because your school time is extended, no summer vocation for you. You never reach the finals.

 

I wish my brain was worth millions of dollars.

Granted. Someone steals it while you're sleeping and you wake up dead.

 

I wish I was happy.

Granted, your happiness is now endless, you ignore all the problems thinking they're not problems. You end up at a hospital.

 

I wish Adolf Hitler would find a time machine, go to 2011, attempting to kill my uncle, then I'd stop him before he manages to.

Granted, but it turns out you dreamt it all. You also got recorded yelling that you wanted hitler to kill your uncle, and now get to spend the rest of your life in an institution.

 

 

As ring world failed to grant me a wish, I wish I could fly.

Granted, you get a helicopter, but it runs out of fuel while you're in the air. So you fall down and die.

 

I wish that whoever posts next would die in a tornado. :twisted:

 

I also wish not to be punished for making that wish.

Granted, I come back to life and kill you because you can't have more than one wish in a post.

 

I wish I had some pizza.

Granted, you burn your mouth on it and it's not very good.

 

I wish everyone was always happy

Granted, it kills you.

 

I wish I had a pack of gum.

because you can't have more than one wish in a post.

 

Where does it say that? Nowhere. :rolleyes:

 

Granted, but the bubble you make from the gum never explodes, that's a problem because, um I think you know why.

 

I wish I could shoot a criminal in five different languages.

Wish granted, but since it is unknown how to shoot people in languages, nothing changed.

 

I wish I could read minds.

Granted, you figure out all the bad things your friends think about you.

 

I wish Pokémon didn't try to dumb me down.

Wish granted, they stopped trying and went straight to succeeding.

 

I wish I could teleport to places I need to be.

Granted. But you get caught in that teleportation random event and can never leave.

 

I wish I could know something is hurting me without feeling the pain of my nerves telling me there's pain.

Lol, a real life teleportation random.. Sounds like I'm going to starve then. xD

 

Wish granted, but the feeling lasts since your nerves no longer function properly. Whenever you touch ANYTHING you will think you're hurting, and it eventually drives you insane.

 

I wish I could turn back time.

Granted, but you change the future for the worse.

 

I wish this ping pong table was set up for me to use.

Granted, but it got painted fluorescent pink, causing you to be unable to play.

 

I wish each day had 40 hours, rather than 24.

Granted. Because of the extra time you are up, you have to sleep longer and it ends up staying the same as sleeping for 8-9 hours and being awake the rest.

 

I wish life was fair.

Granted, everything in life is fair, because of that life gets boring quickly.

 

I wish for a robotic butler with the following features:

• He cares about me a lot.
  
• He does everything for me for free.
  
• He's a damn good cook.
  
• He makes me lunch, dinner and breakfast.
  
• He cleans up my room and other places.
  
• He has a vaccum cleaner built inside of him.
  
• He only wants to make me feel comfortable; If I don't feel comfortable he will make me feel comfortable.
  
• He can't be destroyed in any way.
  
• He drives me everywhere I wanna go.
  

Granted. Your mom accidentally throws it out and it gets taken to a landfill.

 

I wish there was no sadness in the world, only happiness in place of it, and that it doesn't make life boring.

Granted. A happy person kills you.

 

I wish it was Friday already.

Granted, now all days are Fridays, it confuses a lot of people.

 

I wish each day had 150 hours instead of 12, and that wouldn't be bad for my body, and that I could keep awake for over 120 hours a day. I also wish everything that's on a specific time would remain the same (for example movies would still be around two hours long) but those added hours are just bonus. I also wish this would mean I live for a lot longer.

 

Yeah, that's a lot of wishes. Try to corrupt all of them, good luck. :twisted:

Granted... sorta. I can't process that many wishes at one time, so I go with the default which is making a filthy pig appear above you and fall on you.

 

I wish for a new phone.

Granted. You have it in your pocket and go swimming (happened to my bro lulz).

 

I wish murder was unheard of, never committed.