Kwisatz Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 LOL, these people called johovaness witnesnes (or however u spell it) anyway @ my house we have a MASSIVE drive way about 800m long! anyway we have a sign saying "NO CARS" so they get out of their cars and walk all the way down my driveway when they get to my door their like "would u be intedrested in converting" and i'm like "Tell me more" so they are explaining all this stuff and i ask them if they want a drink (they walk in) i turn around acting all surpised "OOOO who invited u in then!" and the r sooo lost for words! and i'm like leave! when they're about 50m away i turn the sprinkers on THE GET TOTALY SOAKED!!!!! then their in their best clothes being soaked runn up the rest 700m of our muddy driveway!!! lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol Heheh I think thats a bit mean. 800 metre driveway you must live near Dural or somthing like that! I take great offense to that. Not all Jehovah's Witnesses do that. My father, for instance, is a Jehovah's Witness, and he could care less about "converting" people. All the ones he talks to at his congregation don't do that either. We get more Mormons around here than Jehovah's Witnesses. That aside, they're kinda right about everything, on account of the fact that they update their Bible based on historical findings (ie the Dead Sea Scrolls), unlike the Catholics, which use the King James translation, which is 500+ years old. In fact, the reason that so many people renounced their religion as Jehovah's Witnesses was because they were afraid to admit that they were wrong. Except for the door-knocking and no holidays bit, that's whack man. I'm not a JW, but really, it seems that they are the target of ridicule all over the place, almost as much as Jews. handed me TWO tissues to clear up. I was like "i'm going to need a few more paper towels than that luv" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OhFour Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 LOL, these people called johovaness witnesnes (or however u spell it) anyway @ my house we have a MASSIVE drive way about 800m long! anyway we have a sign saying "NO CARS" so they get out of their cars and walk all the way down my driveway when they get to my door their like "would u be intedrested in converting" and i'm like "Tell me more" so they are explaining all this stuff and i ask them if they want a drink (they walk in) i turn around acting all surpised "OOOO who invited u in then!" and the r sooo lost for words! and i'm like leave! when they're about 50m away i turn the sprinkers on THE GET TOTALY SOAKED!!!!! then their in their best clothes being soaked runn up the rest 700m of our muddy driveway!!! lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol Heheh I think thats a bit mean. 800 metre driveway you must live near Dural or somthing like that! I'm not a JW, but really, it seems that they are the target of ridicule all over the place, almost as much as Jews. And I take offence to that. I see no one HERE making fun or ridiculing jewish people on this forum. The fact that you said that proves your either illiterate or don't understand what ridicule means. You sicken me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astralinre Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 I'm not a JW, but really, it seems that they are the target of ridicule all over the place, almost as much as Jews. And I take offence to that. I see no one HERE making fun or ridiculing jewish people on this forum. The fact that you said that proves your either illiterate or don't understand what ridicule means. You sicken me. He wasn't talking about on this forum, he was talking about in general, hence the phrase "all over the place." And how does it sicken you that he's complaining about the baseless ridicule of a race? That aside, they're kinda right about everything, on account of the fact that they update their Bible based on historical findings (ie the Dead Sea Scrolls), unlike the Catholics, which use the King James translation, which is 500+ years old. In fact, the reason that so many people renounced their religion as Jehovah's Witnesses was because they were afraid to admit that they were wrong. Except for the door-knocking and no holidays bit, that's whack man. Catholics use the King James version? That's odd, considering how Anglicans made that translation. :? Well, you learn something new every day. . . "In so far as I am Man I am the chief of creatures. In so far as I am a man I am the chief of sinners." - G.K. Chesterton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jabraulter Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 You could try a bit of Lil' Jon, Dave Chappelle style... "Hello, are you 18 years of age?" "Huh-what!?" "Are you 18 years of age?" "Huh-what!?" "Are you 18 years of age!?" "Uh-Yeaaah!!" Never tried this myself, but ive always wanted to. Not much fun when theres only yourself there with no one around to see it :roll: Haha, LOL. That made me laugh. No, I've picked up the phone and shouted "NO BROWNIES FOR YOU!!!!!" And then proceed to SLAM the phone back onto the reciever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AThousandLies Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 You could try a bit of Lil' Jon, Dave Chappelle style... "Hello, are you 18 years of age?" "Huh-what!?" "Are you 18 years of age?" "Huh-what!?" "Are you 18 years of age!?" "Uh-Yeaaah!!" Never tried this myself, but ive always wanted to. Not much fun when theres only yourself there with no one around to see it :roll: Haha, LOL. That made me laugh. No, I've picked up the phone and shouted "NO BROWNIES FOR YOU!!!!!" And then proceed to SLAM the phone back onto the reciever. ... you scare me. A lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cadburys_egg Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 You could try a bit of Lil' Jon, Dave Chappelle style... "Hello, are you 18 years of age?" "Huh-what!?" "Are you 18 years of age?" "Huh-what!?" "Are you 18 years of age!?" "Uh-Yeaaah!!" Never tried this myself, but ive always wanted to. Not much fun when theres only yourself there with no one around to see it :roll: Haha, LOL. That made me laugh. No, I've picked up the phone and shouted "NO BROWNIES FOR YOU!!!!!" And then proceed to SLAM the phone back onto the reciever. Lmao, I just hit the test button on my smoke alarm and start screaming, "Oh my god! My house is on fire! Jesus Christ its getting hot here!!!!!! AAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHH!" at which time they are saying back "Hey, are you ok?". I then hang up... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jabraulter Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 You could try a bit of Lil' Jon, Dave Chappelle style... "Hello, are you 18 years of age?" "Huh-what!?" "Are you 18 years of age?" "Huh-what!?" "Are you 18 years of age!?" "Uh-Yeaaah!!" Never tried this myself, but ive always wanted to. Not much fun when theres only yourself there with no one around to see it :roll: Haha, LOL. That made me laugh. No, I've picked up the phone and shouted "NO BROWNIES FOR YOU!!!!!" And then proceed to SLAM the phone back onto the reciever. ... you scare me. A lot. Haha, why is that? :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tigra00 Posted December 25, 2005 Share Posted December 25, 2005 My dad used to answer the phone a while back...Few years ago when we still got 100 calls per day, and him and I made up this thing we'd do.. He'd answer, realize it was a telemarketer, then I would stomp on the floor really loud or drop something if I had anything around at the time, and he would yell "Oh you little bastard!" into the phone and then I'd go "Oh my god, I'm sorry daddy, please don't beat me!" and he'd go "Oh you're going to get it you little brat!" and then I'd scream "NO! Please! Not again!" and he'd hang up. That was probably some of the funniest stuff, because a couple of them would call the cops, and the cops would call our house and he'd be like "I have no idea what you're talking about...We just got home..". It was hilarious. We also left profane answering machine messages...Swearing, the whole dad beating the child bit, songs from cheech and chong (best one!) etc etc. Yea, my family is serverely messed up. But it's fun. The popularity of any given religion today depends on the victories of the wars they fought in the past. - Me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uk_swat Posted December 25, 2005 Share Posted December 25, 2005 It's quite odd cause my sister did something similar the other day. They asked if anyone between 18 and 25 lived in our house. She put our dog on the phone. Yet I'm afraid that won't stop them from calling again. LOL! Sister sound coolie :P 23 whip pks,3 dhorka,2 ahrims lvl 119 attack 99 strength 99 and defence 92 plus 94 mage Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danger_Dude Posted December 25, 2005 Share Posted December 25, 2005 They ask for my mom, I start sniffling and say, she-she died yesterday, and burst out in tears and start screaming and pounding the table and cussing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lemonberri Posted December 26, 2005 Share Posted December 26, 2005 My phone number has never been listed, and I think we're on the "do not call" list so I hardly ever get telemarketer phone calls. I almost wish I did so I could have a little more fun with them. :P The one time I did get a call, I just spoke in gibberish/fake foreign language until they got confused and hung up on me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doomster Posted December 26, 2005 Share Posted December 26, 2005 Permanent answerphone, and we pick up only if we hear someone we want to talk to. So many stupid autodial machines these days, despite being on "silentbuster" and finally full TPS registration (UK version of the "do not call" register). I'd favour a total ban on cold calling, it's just as stupid as having random crap dropping in your email. We used to be fairly polite in refusing, but with the surge in annoying autodials, and annoying telmarketers who will not take no for an answer, the scum have spoiled it for anyone that might have something useful to offer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AThousandLies Posted December 26, 2005 Share Posted December 26, 2005 Sometimes I feel sorry for them, and think how it must be to have an unrewarding job like that .... but I still tell them to [bleep] off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xyris Posted December 27, 2005 Share Posted December 27, 2005 My friend's parents have this really good strategy. They've registered in the phone book under the name Reader (when their real name is Opserkuch), so if someone rings up and says "Hello Mr Reader", they can just hang up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miroku76 Posted December 28, 2005 Share Posted December 28, 2005 Me : What? telemarketer : Hello! We represent a group of carpet cleaners! Me: Really? Telemarketer : Yes! We can clean anything! Dirt, mud, red wine, blood- Me: What was that last one? Telemarketer: Blood Me : Ooh Ohh good, Listen, there was a fight between my dad and me, and things went real bad, and i was just in juvinille hall i was relaesd on parole. Telemaketer: So whats the problem? Me: Well theirs a lot of blood and i need to get t cleaned up before the cops get here. See i accdentally killed him an its really starting to stain. telemarketer: What?!?!?!?!!?!?!??!!? Me: Yeah i dont want to go back to jail. Telemarketer: We'll send someone. *Click* The next day the cleaners closed down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
konnan4444 Posted December 29, 2005 Share Posted December 29, 2005 Me : What? telemarketer : Hello! We represent a group of carpet cleaners! Me: Really? Telemarketer : Yes! We can clean anything! Dirt, mud, red wine, blood- Me: What was that last one? Telemarketer: Blood Me : Ooh Ohh good, Listen, there was a fight between my dad and me, and things went real bad, and i was just in juvinille hall i was relaesd on parole. Telemaketer: So whats the problem? Me: Well theirs a lot of blood and i need to get t cleaned up before the cops get here. See i accdentally killed him an its really starting to stain. telemarketer: What?!?!?!?!!?!?!??!!? Me: Yeah i dont want to go back to jail. Telemarketer: We'll send someone. *Click* The next day the cleaners closed down. I'm glad you stole this from the internet :\ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
runesmithie Posted December 29, 2005 Share Posted December 29, 2005 Me : What? telemarketer : Hello! We represent a group of carpet cleaners! Me: Really? Telemarketer : Yes! We can clean anything! Dirt, mud, red wine, blood- Me: What was that last one? Telemarketer: Blood Me : Ooh Ohh good, Listen, there was a fight between my dad and me, and things went real bad, and i was just in juvinille hall i was relaesd on parole. Telemaketer: So whats the problem? Me: Well theirs a lot of blood and i need to get t cleaned up before the cops get here. See i accdentally killed him an its really starting to stain. telemarketer: What?!?!?!?!!?!?!??!!? Me: Yeah i dont want to go back to jail. Telemarketer: We'll send someone. *Click* The next day the cleaners closed down. I'm glad you stole this from the internet :\ The intarweb, not just for porn anymore! I just posted something! ^_^ to the terrorist...er... kirbybeam. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
konnan4444 Posted December 29, 2005 Share Posted December 29, 2005 Me : What? telemarketer : Hello! We represent a group of carpet cleaners! Me: Really? Telemarketer : Yes! We can clean anything! Dirt, mud, red wine, blood- Me: What was that last one? Telemarketer: Blood Me : Ooh Ohh good, Listen, there was a fight between my dad and me, and things went real bad, and i was just in juvinille hall i was relaesd on parole. Telemaketer: So whats the problem? Me: Well theirs a lot of blood and i need to get t cleaned up before the cops get here. See i accdentally killed him an its really starting to stain. telemarketer: What?!?!?!?!!?!?!??!!? Me: Yeah i dont want to go back to jail. Telemarketer: We'll send someone. *Click* The next day the cleaners closed down. I'm glad you stole this from the internet :\ The intarweb, not just for porn anymore! ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Got_Me_Wrong Posted December 29, 2005 Share Posted December 29, 2005 Permanent answerphone, and we pick up only if we hear someone we want to talk to. We do the same thing at my house unless we are expecting a call. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zonda Posted December 29, 2005 Share Posted December 29, 2005 Nah nah nah, don't mess with them. Just have a conversation. Its actually fun. Hello, is this the lastname residence? Hi how are you today Good, would you be interested in buying... No not really, so hows your day going? I'f fine, we are currently selling... I don't want it, I'm having a good day too. I had some peanut butter and jelly for lunch what about you? See how long you can keep them going lol... ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrueInuyasha Posted December 29, 2005 Share Posted December 29, 2005 My personal favourate: Capital one TM: Hello, this is capital one financial services, how are you mr. X? ME: Im good TM: (Rambles on about interest rates, balance transfers, etc), so what do you think? ME: You know, it sounds like a good deal and all, but im on the run right now. Ive got arrest warrents out for fraud and embezzlement, and your credit card just leaves a paper trail. As nice as it sounds, im sorry, I prefer cash. I cant be traced this way, you understand. TM: (dead silence).. uhhh ME: You have a good day (*click*) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zonda Posted December 29, 2005 Share Posted December 29, 2005 My personal favourate: Capital one TM: Hello, this is capital one financial services, how are you mr. X? ME: Im good TM: (Rambles on about interest rates, balance transfers, etc), so what do you think? ME: You know, it sounds like a good deal and all, but im on the run right now. Ive got arrest warrents out for fraud and embezzlement, and your credit card just leaves a paper trail. As nice as it sounds, im sorry, I prefer cash. I cant be traced this way, you understand. TM: (dead silence).. uhhh ME: You have a good day (*click*) Lol thats a pretty good one. I just thought of one more thing... All you guys who are around the age of 18 or just getting there, we all know how the army, navy, marines, airforce, and national gaurd love to call your house while your sitting down for a nice quiet meal with the family... Well, if your really annoyed with them, and they continue to call despite telling them your not interested... Tell them your homosexual. They will never ever call you again :wink: ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GhostRanger Posted December 29, 2005 Share Posted December 29, 2005 My personal favourate: Capital one TM: Hello, this is capital one financial services, how are you mr. X? ME: Im good TM: (Rambles on about interest rates, balance transfers, etc), so what do you think? ME: You know, it sounds like a good deal and all, but im on the run right now. Ive got arrest warrents out for fraud and embezzlement, and your credit card just leaves a paper trail. As nice as it sounds, im sorry, I prefer cash. I cant be traced this way, you understand. TM: (dead silence).. uhhh ME: You have a good day (*click*) Lol thats a pretty good one. I just thought of one more thing... All you guys who are around the age of 18 or just getting there, we all know how the army, navy, marines, airforce, and national gaurd love to call your house while your sitting down for a nice quiet meal with the family... Well, if your really annoyed with them, and they continue to call despite telling them your not interested... Tell them your homosexual. They will never ever call you again :wink: Yay for Richard Hatch! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Topazjewel Posted December 29, 2005 Share Posted December 29, 2005 Two Different Telemarket Calls (and my responses): 1. Me: Hello? Telemarketer: Is your dad home? Me: Who's this? Telemarketer: Is your dad home? Me: Is this a telemarketer? Telemarketer: That depends. Is your dad home? Me: *hangs up* 2. Me: Hello? Telemarketer: Is your dad home? Me: Is this a telemarketer? Telemarketer: You're very perceptive. Me: Thank you, I know. *hangs up* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
runesmithie Posted December 29, 2005 Share Posted December 29, 2005 Not really a telemarketer, but someone called from some representatives office or something and was asking my dad about his stance on homosexuality. My dad didn't realize they could hear him and he asked my mom what homosexuality was :lol: My mom: "It's flamers and gays" The telemarketer could hear this the whole time and then my dad responded in this obnoxious 'I'm in a drive thru and the person can't hear me' voice. " No I do not believe I do." I just posted something! ^_^ to the terrorist...er... kirbybeam. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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