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noob situations

Featured Replies

Simple. You think up a situation with 'noobs' and post here. Please try to make them funny.

 

 

 

I start :roll:

 

 

 

Based on my RuneScape clan

 

 

 

The problem with our winter uniform and the solution to that problem

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Noob 1:hey i buy ur blk rmor 5k?

 

 

 

Noob 2: no me taek 4 30k

 

 

 

You: Not For Sale

 

 

 

Noob 1:suht up noob

 

 

 

Noob 3:100k 4 armor?

 

 

 

Noob 4:44get them idots i pay u bronse skimy bes tdeal evr

 

 

 

You:Follow me if you want the armor

 

 

 

Noobs 1-5:*they all follow you into wild*

 

 

 

You: icon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gif

frost: *1337ness*wazzzzzzzaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa*1337ness*

 

 

 

7heemperor: you saw my game?

 

 

 

frost: ya, with the conversations

 

 

 

7heemperor: yeah that one

 

 

 

frost: you cant do devil emoticons in public chat!

 

 

 

7heemperor: i was just saying its evil

 

 

 

you take him to wild

 

 

 

frost: now i will attack you for no reason!

 

 

 

7heemperor: dude im not in wild yet

 

 

 

frost: oh

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:cry: :cry:

You: Selling full rune 200k!

 

 

 

Noob: I by for full broz it best deel eva

 

 

 

You: Sorry cash only

 

 

 

Noob: Omfg you noob go to hell

 

 

 

You walk away from the noob

 

 

 

Noob follows

 

 

 

You switch worlds

 

 

 

1 week later

 

 

 

Noob: I reported you you freaking noob now gimme my full

 

 

 

You: reported for what?

 

 

 

Noob: Pmfg you a h4x0r reported you *obscene word* go *obscene word* your mother!.

 

 

 

1 week later your notified the noob was banned.

 

 

 

Proud Acolyte of the Ooc

Cmon Steve you can do it!

userbaracolyteau6.png

userredkbglz3.png

  • Author

noob 1(frost):come get some!!!111!1!1

 

 

 

7heemperor:dont make me 1 hit kill u with my rune longsword

 

 

 

noob 2:1337n3ss i buy it

 

 

 

noob 3:i pay 3gps 4 it

 

 

 

noob 1:sut up j00 n33d h1gh lvl j00 lvl 3 n00bz0rz

 

 

 

noob 4(level 1):i fite 4 it

 

 

 

A couple seconds later

 

 

 

noob 4:j00 idito i report u!!!1!11!

 

 

 

Jagex Staff:Thanks and enjoy your ban

frost: dun cawl meh nub dud

 

 

 

7heemperor: wha not?

 

 

 

frost: faimeking is onlie skil of joe in hs :oops:

 

 

 

7heemperor: imma go cwy :cry: :cry:

  • Author

7heemperor:*over private chat*I have a situation here

 

 

 

*****:*over private chat*Location?

 

 

 

7heemperor:*over private chat*Wilderness in front of Edgeville

 

 

 

Minutes later, pretty much the whole clan arrives

 

 

 

noob 1(frost):wut u 4ll w4n7 2 g0?

 

 

 

***:No, we wan....

 

 

 

noob 2:*yells war cry*DIE!!!!11!1!!

 

 

 

*:*takes out noob 2 in 3 hits*

 

 

 

noob 3:hey u n00bz0rz i bet j00 4ll

 

 

 

*****:You are right in the middle of a battlefield

 

 

 

*an enemy clan, thinking he is on my clan's side, pk's him instantly*

 

 

 

7heemperor:Thanks for your help, and happy new year

 

 

 

*whole clan rushes them*

Noob: Buy my mind rune

 

 

 

Me: No thankyou, merry christmas.

 

 

 

Noob: Oh my god! How dare you!

 

 

 

Me: Listen, I'll give you the money if it will make you happy...

 

 

 

Noob: *Stream of obscene words and insults*

 

 

 

*I walk into bank*

 

 

 

Noob: *Stream of obscene words and insults*

 

 

 

Noob: *Stream of obscene words and insults*

 

 

 

Noob: *Stream of obscene words and insults*

 

 

 

Guy1: Shut up you noob!

 

 

 

Guy2: Yeah, go back to lumbridge noob.

 

 

 

Guy3: Reported for bad language, lol.

 

 

 

Guy2: Report the noob!

 

 

 

Guy1: Reported.

 

 

 

Gal1: Reported.

 

 

 

Guy5: Reported.

 

 

 

I haven't seen him on RS since 19th December, 2005. :twisted:

dom but what clan you in :oops:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

7pamperor's clanmate: wow i gut t3h 1337 23 fishing

 

 

 

7pamperor's clanmate: wow pmg i gut liet 10 cooksing

 

 

 

7pamperor: pmg you guyz its t3h frost

 

 

 

frost: wtf lvl 10- conference?

 

 

 

7pamperor: go way ye noob my mith dag ownz j00 even to cant wear it

 

 

 

frost: whip ftw idiot

 

 

 

7pamperor: j00 got whip :(

 

 

 

frost: so?

 

 

 

7pamperor: whip ownz my crapclen :cry: :cry:

7heemperor:I buy ur account for 1gp cause im 1337

 

 

 

Me:Okkk WDF :roll:

 

 

 

7heemperor:Give it to me now or i report j00!

 

 

 

Me:Ill give ya my account for phr33 if u atk this chicken

 

 

 

7heemperor:*hits a 3 and kills chicken*Done :D now whats ur pass

 

 

 

Me:Nooo i meant that lvl 999 chicken :D

 

 

 

7heemperor:KO'ed with a 10 XD *Oh Dear You are Dead* hey why did i die in the same place :?

 

 

 

Me:n33b

 

 

 

7heemperor:*Trys to Picks up Blue phat and 10 earth and water runes* i am 1337!

 

 

 

Me:*Wears Blue Phat*

 

 

 

7heemperor: :cry:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A n33bs lif3 is hard :(

me: *mining*

 

 

 

noob: Fr33 0r3s Pl0xx

 

 

 

me: NO

 

 

 

noob: YES

 

 

 

me: NO

 

 

 

noob: YES

 

 

 

me: n0zorxz!!11!

 

 

 

noob: the horrible l33t!1!! *runs away while his ears bleed*

 

 

 

(while at imps...)

 

 

 

me: *trows imp, imp drops random stuff*

 

 

 

noob: h3y n33b!11

 

 

 

me:*picks up noob*

 

 

 

noob: H3lpz0rs!1!!

 

 

 

me:*trows noob on spears*

 

 

 

noob: N3333BBBZ0000RZZ!!!111111!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

me:*finds that the noob drop-traded a red(my favorite colour) party hat to his account what he dropped*

 

 

 

me: O YES!!! *jumps incredible high*

 

 

 

noob:*comes back* M3 P@RTY H@Tz0rs!!1!!

 

 

 

me: MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *lands on noob, killing him with a crushing blow*

 

 

 

*finds another party hat*

 

 

 

me: o yes!

 

 

 

*noob army comes*

 

 

 

noob army: free party hat pl0x!!1!

 

 

 

me:*L#3T ATT@CCkk* D13 Z0rs N33bs!!11!!!

 

 

 

*ears and more of noobs bleed, and then fall off...*

 

 

 

me:*finds all kinds of random stuff os all people who got killed by l33t*

 

 

 

me:muhahahahahaha!!! im rich!

 

 

 

*the end*

Known in-game as Mister evil9(lvl 93)(P2P).

Modding gta2(making maps, scripts,editing it).

On world 54 mostly.

Made a nice GTA2 site!

A little in-active...

noob: phr33 st00fplo0xz0r5 0r j00 g3t h4xc0r5

 

 

 

me: *sarcastic* 0h t3h n03z0r5! n0 h4ckz0r5 pl0x!

 

 

 

noob: g1v5 d4 st00f

 

 

 

me: *clicks ignore 1337b043434*

parents17dc.gif
  • 2 weeks later...

Noob 1: Jagex blocks your password see *********

 

 

 

Noob 2: Fukoff

 

 

 

Noob 2: AHHHHHH!!11!!!1!!! he scammed me!!! I must change my password!!1!!!

 

 

 

Me : Come follow me to somewhere that you can change your password without logging out.

 

 

 

Noob 2: Oh, really?

 

 

 

Me : Nope. But i can kill you both.

 

 

 

Noob 1: I can kill you without equipment :P

 

 

 

Noob 2: i can kill you both with only bronze set.

 

 

 

Me: You both are stupid noobs who can't talk leetspeak, so you are noobs.

 

 

 

Noob 1: Shudaap you **** im smater than u

 

 

 

Noob 2: Me smartter then albet intestine

 

 

 

Me: you both have a total iq of 3.

 

 

 

Noob 1: I have more iq then him rite?

 

 

 

Noob 2: Im smarter thannn himmm.

 

 

 

Me: follow me and talk.

 

 

 

*BOth follows and swear at each other*

 

 

 

*i take them to wildy level 20 and kill them while they are still talking and pick up 2k gold and 2 mith full sets*

 

 

 

Those noobs were liars. I bet they were gonna wear those mith stuff just before i fought them. F00ls

noob:ur a noob

 

 

 

noob2: no ur the noob

 

 

 

noob3: ur both the noob

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

me: shut up and get back to work being my minning slaves

sig234ej4.png

Heres one that actually happened to me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me *Walks Through Al Kharid Gate*

 

 

 

Noob: Hey you! What does it say when u go thru there?

 

 

 

Me: "You Are A Friend Of Al Kharid, You May Pass For Free"

 

 

 

Me *Starts To Walk Off*

 

 

 

Noob: HEY HEY OI WAIT! AL KHARID IS ON MY FRIENDS LIST BUT I CANT GET IN!

SkullyTIF.jpeg

Thanks To: Everyone for the siggies, especially Kal for the Pixel.

Currently Playing: FIFA 07, NFS: Carbon, Morrowind and Dungeon Siege II.

  • 4 weeks later...

this is a actual story

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i'm in the pheonix weapon room gathering crossbows.

 

 

 

noob:hi do u want to buy a key for 1k

 

 

 

ME: r u stupid i have to have the key to be in here

 

 

 

noob: so do u want to buy the key

 

 

 

ME: wut didnt u hear wut i just said

 

 

 

noob: no

 

 

 

Me: i'll buy it if u kill that guy for 5k

 

 

 

noob: sure

 

 

 

noob fights the weapons master and dies

 

 

 

i walk over and take all his stuf including the key

Luna_pirate_signature.png

Thanks to DrCue at DeviantArt for the signature source

nice one wyvren2000

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*at wizard tower...*

 

 

 

noob: give me stuff now or ban!!!111

 

 

 

me: ban for what?

 

 

 

noob: n00b! ***** n00b!

 

 

 

me: kill a wizard or youll get banned for bad language

 

 

 

noob: kk n00b

 

 

 

*noob attacks wizard and dies*

 

 

 

*over pm* give me my stuff back or else!!!11

 

 

 

*me on menu*

ahnuld.gif

Dai jou bui!

 

The full stop and comma are your friend....

http://www.blogger.com/profile/31134299

lol good one

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

this one happened to me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i'm next to the desert mine walking. i have my rune ax because i was cutting wood a few minutes earlier.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

a lv 6 noob runs up

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob:i'll buy that rune ax for 23k

 

 

 

ME: i think it is 32k to buy one so i'll sell it to u for 40k

 

 

 

noob:noway u noob it's only worth 23k

 

 

 

Me:lololololololololololol a noob calling me a noob(i'm lv 54)

 

 

 

ME: it's worth 32k

 

 

 

noob:it's worth 25k u noob

 

 

 

Me: i'm quite sure it's atleast 32k

 

 

 

noob: no it's only worth 27k

 

 

 

ME: lolololololololololololololol you are contradicting yourself

 

 

 

noob: oh ur a big boy because u can use big words.

 

 

 

noob:well i'm lv 57 wood cutting

 

 

 

ME:(i look him up in the hi scores he only had 52 when he logged on)

 

 

 

ME:how long have u been on since u logged on last

 

 

 

noob:1hour

 

 

 

Me:(i put his hi score exp into the wood cutting calc)

 

 

 

Me:(it says he would have to cut 16** willow logs)

 

 

 

ME:(divide that by 60 then again)

 

 

 

Me:(i get 1 willow log every 3 seconds when he was logged on)

 

 

 

ME:u liar

 

 

 

noob: wut

 

 

 

me: i loked up ur wood cutting lv and found it almost impossible for u to go up 5 lv's in 1 hour

 

 

 

noob:how do u know i'm lv 52 wood cutting?

 

 

 

ME:i looked u up in the hi scores

 

 

 

noob:hi scores?

 

 

 

ME: lolololololol

 

 

 

noob:(puts me on his ignore list)

Luna_pirate_signature.png

Thanks to DrCue at DeviantArt for the signature source

Noob1: Dude u just won a contest

 

 

 

Me: O rly?

 

 

 

Noob1: Dude u just won an invitation to giv me all your cash!!!!

 

 

 

Me: ... omg ignored

 

 

 

Noob1: OMFG WAIT!

 

 

 

(ignored)

  • 2 weeks later...

this is excelent: some noob at al kaharaid bank is running a bank sale

 

 

 

noob:huge bank sale no noobs

 

 

 

Me:that is impossible for a noob to be running a no noob bank sale

 

 

 

noob: repeting

 

 

 

Me:i try trading but he wont

 

 

 

person trading with him:how much for the bronze necklace?

 

 

 

noob:750gp

 

 

 

person walks away

 

 

 

noob:500gp

 

 

 

Me:you noob only a noob would fall for that

 

 

 

noob logs out

 

 

 

2 minutes later he logs back in

 

 

 

i try talking to him but he logs out

 

 

 

this keeps on happening until i put him on my ignore

Luna_pirate_signature.png

Thanks to DrCue at DeviantArt for the signature source

*at varrock east bank*

 

 

 

me: sell mith longsword for 1k

 

 

 

*noob wants trade*

 

 

 

me: ok *trades*

 

 

 

*noob puts up items (see below)*

 

 

 

me:omg no way

 

 

 

noob:oh n00b scamming!!1

 

 

 

me:im scamming?

 

 

 

noob:fabr1cant is a scammer

 

 

 

me:how?

 

 

 

noob:he wont trade his sword for my willow log pot bow and arrows

 

 

 

*everybody laughs at the noob*

 

 

 

*he logs (probably crying)*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

rstrade9wx.jpg

ahnuld.gif

Dai jou bui!

 

The full stop and comma are your friend....

http://www.blogger.com/profile/31134299

me:*attacks lvl 52 n00b*

 

 

 

n00b:*attacks me*

 

 

 

me: *turns auto-retaliate off* aaaaauuughhh! stop! stop! stop!!!!!

 

 

 

ahhhhhhhhh! *runs north*

 

 

 

n00b:lol u gonna die nooob!!!!!!!!1111111111111

 

 

 

me:please stop i'm begging u

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**we reach lvl 50 wildy**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

me:*drinks pots and puts on prayer* prepare to die *hits a 16(1/3 of his hp)*

 

 

 

n00b:what??!!!111111???*runs south*

 

 

 

me:omfgz0r3 freek1n 0wn3d!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

n00b:no!!!!!!!!! *drops full mith and addy long*

 

 

 

me:that was a waste of my time.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

looking back on it, it was fun :wink:

A noob is someone ignorant, not necessarily a newb.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Noob1:Buying purple h'ween mask!

 

 

 

(3 second pause)

 

 

 

Noob1:Buying purple h'ween mask!

 

 

 

(2 second pause)

 

 

 

Noob1:Buying purple h'ween mask!

 

 

 

Me:It doesn't exist.

 

 

 

Noob1:Buying purple h'ween mask!!!

 

 

 

Me:There's no such thing.

 

 

 

Noob1:Buying purple h'ween mask!!1!!1!

 

 

 

Me:...

 

 

 

Noob1:Buying purple ****ing h'ween mask!!!11!!

 

 

 

Me: I already told you it doesn't exist.

 

 

 

Noob1:****** purple ***a**moth** **c*in* mask!!!!!!!111!!!!1!!11!!1!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

^That's a true story, too.

1690 total and unranked strength. Headed for 1800.

siggyanimatoin5dtbp3.gif

I like the irony (no wait, paradoxicality) in how there's a spelling error in this sig.

  • 3 weeks later...

i love noobs(ignorent kind) i rip them off all the time on karmaja island fishing dock.

 

 

 

noob:can i buy your green cape?

 

 

 

me:sure 1k

 

 

 

noob:ok

 

 

 

we trade

 

 

 

i go make green dye for 30gp and kill a highway man for a cape and make another one.

 

 

 

back on karmaja fishing lobbs and giving them away free waiting for another noob...

Luna_pirate_signature.png

Thanks to DrCue at DeviantArt for the signature source

  • 2 weeks later...

i'm fighting moss giants on crandor

 

a lv 60 walks up

 

lv60:what's ur strength lv

 

lv80:65

 

me:52

 

lv60:55 ha i can beat you

 

me:lol (he's wearing frog costume)

 

lv80:???i'm 20 lvs stronger than you

 

lv60:i meant the other guy if you help me

 

me:noob that would be a 2 on 1 battle with the strongest person on the team of 2. there is almost no possible way for me to win under these conditions.

 

noob:i'd still win

 

me:noob if i fought him(lv 80) i would die so it doesn't matter if you helped him

 

noob:i'd still win

 

lv80:i agree with him you wouldn't help me actually if i had enough stuf left after the fight with him i'd kill you

 

noob uses cry emote and runs off

 

lv80:we finally got rid off that annoying noob

 

me:i dont think he'll come back here for awhile

 

noob is on the beach below and gets killed by a skeleton

 

me and lv80:lol

Luna_pirate_signature.png

Thanks to DrCue at DeviantArt for the signature source

same place as last time

 

a lv 89 guy walks up

 

lv80(not 89):oh not another noob

 

lv89:are you calling me a noob?

 

me:are you calling me a noob?

 

lv80:yeah

 

lv89:but i'm stronger than you

 

lv80:i have a lv 93 main

 

me:to call him a noob you have to be on a stronger account than him

 

me:also i'm not ignorent or a extermly low level

 

lv89:i agree with him

 

lv80:well your a noob until lv 126

 

me:lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

me:you just called yourself a noob because you said your main is only in the 90's and that isn't your non noob lv

 

lv89:he's right. lololololol!!!

 

lv80 runs away

Luna_pirate_signature.png

Thanks to DrCue at DeviantArt for the signature source

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