Chuck Norris doesn't even do his own stunts.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris = Phailure.

 

 

 

*Faliure...

 

 

 

Chuck Norris was a Karate World Champ. When Bruce Lee was alive, he was known to be the 2nd best in the world. When Bruce Lee Died, Chuck Norris was the top fighter in the world. since he's old now, he's not the best no more

Lol, this is hilarious.

 

 

 

When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris uses redhot lava to moisturize his skin.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris invented the apple.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris Buillt Mount Everest with a bucket and spade.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris does not age. Every birthday, it's just another year added to his existence, which sucks for you.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris does not have chest hair, he has millions of highly venomous nematocysts. You have virtually no chance of surviving the venomous sting, unless treated immediately. The pain is so excruciating and overwhelming that you would most likely go into shock and collapse a split second before getting hit in the face with a roundhouse kick.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris can chug a gallon of milk and not throw up.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest.

 

 

 

If you get roundhouse kicked in the face by Chuck Norris in your dream, you DIE!

 

 

 

Chuck Norris can have his cake AND eat it too.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands.

 

 

 

Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris once killed four birds with half a stone. What's that? You say there's no such thing as half a stone? The four dead birds didn't think so either.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris CAN lick his elbow.

 

 

 

P is for Chuck Norris, as is every other letter of the alphabet.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris puts the FUN in Funeral.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris' paradise is war.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris is capable of photosynthesis.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris has never had a surprise birthday party. He can NEVER be surprised. EVER.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris does not love Raymond.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris can lick his own elbows. At the same time.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris can kick start a car.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris wrote an autobiography....it was just a list of everyone he has killed.

 

 

 

Einstein's original Theory of Relativity was; if Chuck Norris kicks you, your relatives will feel it.

 

 

 

Bigfoot takes pictures of Chuck Norris.

 

 

 

As seen in Sidekicks, Chuck Norris can climb a rope with one hand, and one hand only.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris does not dance. He roundhouse kicks to the beat.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris can MAKE water run uphill.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris can hold Puff Daddy down.

 

 

 

The moon is actually a comet that was once on course to hit earth... then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it into orbit.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris can strike a match on a bar of soap.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris once played Russian roulette with a fully load gun and won.

 

 

 

The only reason the color pink still exists is because Chuck Norris is color blind.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris isn't afraid of Urban Legends, he is an Urban Legend.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris once played 18 holes of golf using a 12 inch strip of rebar and a sun dried tomato. He shot a 54.

 

 

 

On the Asian market, Chuck Norris' urine is worth $400 per fluid ounce.

 

 

 

See spot. See spot run. See spot get round house kicked in the face by Chuck Norris.

 

 

 

Niagra Falls is the result of one of Chuck's legendary cannon balls.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris sneezes electricity.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris performs colonoscopies on himself.

 

 

 

If you were killed by Chuck Norris, your tombstone would read RIP, ripped into pieces.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris' smile once brought a puppy back to life.

 

 

 

You know he jumped off the Empire State Building this one time and he only sprained his ankle.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident....and still managed to walk it off.

 

 

 

Contrary to popular belief the Lottery numbers are not random. They are just the number of people Chuck Norris killed that given day.

 

 

 

Chuck norris invented the corndog.

 

 

 

The agent of Chuck Norris asked Chuck if he wanted to be in Brokeback Mountain. Chuck Norris' agent has been missing for almost 2 years now. Never ask Chuck Norris to be in a gay cowboy movie.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris understands the ending of 2001: A Space Odyssey.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris belives the hype.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris CAN in fact stop the beat.

 

 

 

When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.

 

 

 

When Chuck Norris picks his nose, he REALLY does find Gold.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris speaks in all caps.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris delivers more male with one thrust of his pelvis than the U.S. Postal Service and the Pony Express have combined for the last 146 years.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris wasn't born with feet, just boots.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris won a pissing contest against a Russian race horse.

 

 

 

When Chuck Norris throws a boomerang, the boomerang does not return because it is scared to come back.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris floats like a butterfly and stings like a tomahawk missile. At mach 3. In the face.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris can dribble a football.

 

 

 

Chuck NorrisÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ IQ can be expressed simply as a sideways eight

 

 

 

Chuck Norris is a stunt double for Optimus Prime.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris was once asked to repeat himself. The last thing that person ever heard was the wooshing sound of a roundhouse kick.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris had his tonsels removed with a chainsaw.

 

 

 

Chuck Norris digs graves with a shoe horn.

Was he really a 'martial arts master'? Or is that just what the internet made him out to be...?

Chuck Norris is stupid, just like the jokes about him on the net. :x

Chuck Norris is stupid, just like the jokes about him on the net. :x

your a moron. chuck norris owns you

Was he really a 'martial arts master'? Or is that just what the internet made him out to be...?

 

Hehe yeah he actually is/was. He formed an alternative fighting...erm, thing to the UFC.

 

 

 

All joking aside, he probably could roundhouse kick both of our wagons.

I hate Chuck Norris jokes. It's becoming just as annoying as when everyone repeated every single line from Napolean Dynomite, at least at my school.

Chuck Norris is stupid, just like the jokes about him on the net. :x

your a moron. chuck norris owns you

 

 

 

Another stupid Chuck Norris joke. Get over it, they're getting old.

i never understood the chuck norris fiasco. didnt know it would ever get as big as it is now, that was kind of suprising. i neither laugh at it, or find it annoying.

 

 

 

and the other thing the topic starter asked about, and i dont see answered yet, is the "O rly" owl. theres not really much to explain, its a picture of an owl with the caption "O RLY?" here is a lot of information about it.

 

 

 

and here it is:

 

Get over it, they're getting old.

 

 

 

Yeah I agree completely.

It'll be a shame if this tarnishes people's oppinion of Chuck Norris as a person -- that is, if it makes them think that he's a bad guy. From what I've heard of him, he seems nice (not that I know a whole lot about him or anything).

Just like Steven Seagal. Did you know he's a pretty decent musician? :o

 

 

 

He plays t3h blues.

 

 

 

http://www.stevenseagal.com/press/epk_640x480a.html

 

 

 

Look a the promo-video of his tour.

It'll be a shame if this tarnishes people's oppinion of Chuck Norris as a person -- that is, if it makes them think that he's a bad guy. From what I've heard of him, he seems nice (not that I know a whole lot about him or anything).

 

 

 

Nah man. Have you seen him in action? He's pretty funny for someone acting serious.

I've actually not seen him in any action films, no -- this was just from what I'd read about him. If I see a film on with him in it, I'll try and watch it.

He's got a small cameo in Dodgeball, youve probably seen that.

Yeah -- that was good. Nothing with him in a major role, though.

Another thread of him.

 

 

 

Why does everybody on the Net bring facts and jokes about him when you don't need to care about it?

 

 

 

Threads like those are technically spam threads {may lead to a ban whover brings this up again in forums/game boards.}

Chuck Norris is God.

 

 

 

Actually hes a stuntman who does cool stuff :D

Threads like those are technically spam threads {may lead to a ban whover brings this up again in forums/game boards.}

 

 

 

I'm pretty sure that's the policy of SA and Fark. :P

Chuck Norris is the walker texas ranger guy.

He's walker, texas ranger. I hate him so much that I sort of like him.

He's your living nightmare. Oh and did you know that there is no theory of evolution, only a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

 

 

 

Beat that! :lol:

 

 

 

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris is a Texan :D :D :D

 

Nuff said.

 

chuck norris is an OKLAHOMAN. [not that i'm from there] just because he made walker texas rangers doesnt mean he's texan.. get your facts straight.

 

 

 

chuck norris once had an "el bono" on a crowded street. there were no survivors.

 

 

 

i agree though, they ARE getting a bit old after all the overuse; sorry for the hypocrisy.

Chuck norris should run all college security systems that way there will be no more roberys, rabes or assualts. He is the true p00nage 8-)

Lol, I had no idea too. lmao