The forest is burnt down to make room for a cattle ranch supplying beef to McDonalds. I extract your unrecognizable corpse from a cow's stomach and pry the now-inedible cheese from your still-grapsing hand.

Since you apparently share you r house with pigs, you contract the very much over-hyped swine flu. While confined to bed for a couple days, I sneak in and steal the cheese back

I throw jean-luc picard at you. 'nuff said. I take the cheese.

Jean-Luc Picard collapses from the gravity of earth, of which he is unaccustomed to after many long years in space. My rats bring him to me, and hold him hostage in exchange for the cheese. You give me the cheese, and I give you Picard, but as you are fleeing, one of my mutant rats trips you and throws you into the pit of doom. Tabuu laughs at you, then flies to Russia to tell them to begin the invasion.

I escape by opening a portal to my secret lair and falling through it. You are sitting down one day stroking the cheese when suddenly I fall from the sky/ceiling/whatever and crush you. I take the cheese.

I summon Little Mac to punch the crap out of you and then he finishes you off with his Star Uppercut and I take the cheese.

Suddenly, you and Little Mac are surrounded by the Russian army. At the head of the army is one of my mutant rats. You surrender the cheese to it, and it brings the cheese to me. I then send Russia after America, to destroy the current world superpower and the next in line, China, in one fell swoop.

I summon my demonic army -> :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

 

and destroy your army. I kill you, take the cheese and become the world superpower.

You are quickly assassinated by an unknown group and I stroll nonchalantly into your room during the confusion and nab the cheese.

Unfortunately a nonchalant challenger appears. You and I duel honorably for the cheese for a while, but when it looks like you're winning, I decide that I'd rather have the cheese than honor, so I kick you in the groin and take the cheese.

Unfortunately a nonchalant challenger appears. You and I duel honorably for the cheese for a while, but when it looks like you're winning, I decide that I'd rather have the cheese than honor, so I kick you in the groin and take the cheese.

 

I hate you because you are a woman! Women belong in the kitchen, not on computers!

 

(Yes, both of those were aimed at me.)

 

 

 

Your contradiction causes your head to explode. I take the cheese.

Tabuu appears in front of you. He turns you into a trophy with his absolute power, and takes the cheese. My army of rats, mutant rats, Russians, Americans, Chinese, and newly conquered demons finds me, turned into a trophy despite my non-existance in the world of trophies, in super arty's home. They raid the place, and bring me back to my living form. Tabuu returns to me the cheese. At the head of my army, I march onward toward Antarctica.

Unfortunately for you, my demon army was NEVER under your control. On your march, the army of one million demons(that sounds kinda like a film name... army of one million demons :-k)attack you and take the cheese. As you lie bleeding in the ground, I am laughing and holding the cheese in my super-secret location while my army protects me.

I bring back haunting and painful memory: ittc

 

 

 

While you're all wailing in despair, I take the cheese, for real, and scamper off.

I have no idea what you're talking about, so I'm fine. I then shoot you and take the cheese.

I get you a warm glass of milk and rub your tummy until you fall asleep. Then I take the cheese.

I'm immune to the milks sleep powers, I drink to much of it. :o eats you and I walk away with the cheese.

Now that all the pieces of my plan have fallen into place I leap into action! I travel north up the spine of :o and attach my brain control device onto his Cerebral Cortex. Quickly, I command :o to find something very heavy and very blunt. I use this thing, which turns out to be a vacuum cleaner to bash your head inside out. The cheese is mine.

It turns out that :o 's brain has become shriveled and tiny due to the lack of bread, so you don't hit his brain. Your victory is all just a halucination caused when :o squashed you by falling backwards. I still have the cheese.

After years of physical therapy and multiple surgeries I finally recover. Throughout these years I carefully plot my revenge down to the smallest detail. Carefully balancing on my 2 prosthetic legs and holding onto the side of my wheel chair with a prosthetic hand, I begin my journey to your front door. When I get there I put my tediously planned revenge into action.

 

[hide=]I kik u in da nuts.[/hide]

 

The cheese is mine.

Your limbs fall off. I pick up the cheese.

 

 

 

(I had the cheese for two+ years according to the story?)

No you didn't, you lost it and only recently found it in your sock drawer.

 

 

 

Anyway, I gnaw you to death and take the cheese.

The original cheese that you stole is merely a pile of dust at this point. I create a new "cheese" which I have.

You're allergic to this new type of cheese and break out in hives, your throat swells, and you suffocate on your own tongue. I pick up the cheese and crawl into Cynic's bed and hide under the sheets.

You immediately pass out. 12 hours later you wake up...and your butt hurts :uhh: *

 

 

 

I get the cheese later from Cynic as a gift. And my allergy is cured too.

 

 

 

*Yes I did totally rip that off from your press the button post.