Happiness

Hello everyone, it's been awhile since I posted here in earnest. I admit I didn't plan on returning to these forums (heck I'm 22 now) but I discovered something when I was away. When I was on these forums I had an outlet for my ideas and questions. Suddenly leaving that all behind was awkward. I found myself in real life stumbling across ideas in the middle of nowhere and saying to myself "Wow, what a great forum topic!" At first I just chucked and dismissed them, but lately I have been writing them down in a journal. Some of my sketches had potential, others felt great, but the basics for this thread felt different. This was the thread I had to post.

Anyway, I don't want to bore you guys with a long introduction, I just want to point out one more thing. This isn't a thread to be read in haste, this is a thread that requires mental feedback and contemplation as you read, I would recommend taking a short pause in between paragraphs and think over what was just stated. If you don't think you can do this, you might as well leave the thread now as you won't get much from this post. Okay, no more delays, on with the show~

The secret to happiness. It's like the holy grail, we always hear of it but never do we hear the answer to the question. Do we as a society not know the answer? One would think it would be a priority, happiness is the one think in life we should all seek isn't it?

What is happiness? Everyone knows basically what it is or knows a proverb that talks about it, but do we really know what it is? Such a simple question, yet one we don't know how to answer. We can only define it by using examples. Happiness is the feeling we get around true friends or the feeling we get when we are rewarded for hard work. So what really constitutes happiness? Well the official definition is emotions experiences when in a state of well being. Hmm, interesting, the feeling we get when we are well. Well that's worthless, what does being well or good even mean? Ah, at last, a question we can answer with logic.

What makes something good. Well, by example a good pen is one that writes well. A good bag can carry a lot of stuff. A good set of speakers can produce sounds very well and a good blanket keeps you warm. Ah yes, to be good to do your function well. Anything can be defined using this logic, what makes a good telescope? A camera? A meal?

That was easier than it seemed. Hmm, lets recap, by definition we are happy human beings if we are 'good' human beings. Okay, and if we want to be 'good' humans we must perform our function well... and crap, another snag. What is the function of a human? Some say our function is to eat, sleep, and have sex (reproduce). I disagree with this train of thought, these aren't core human functions, they are basic animal functions. We are animals however, so doing the above things will bring a sort a pleasure/happiness to a person. They will not get true happiness though, while we are animals we are much more than that; thus if we discover what it means to be human we can obtain a more more direct and real happiness than the kind we get from the archaic concepts of sex and pleasure.

So what is the unique function of a human? Let's brainstorm here, humans are advanced social creatures that use logic and reason, they all have a unique conscious and are able to think to solve problems. I believe each of these aspects holds a key to our understanding of happiness, but let's not get ahead of ourselves here, there is still much work to do. We need to chisel at this rough list of ideas and polish it to a common understanding. Let's start with an easy one, our social aspect.

Everyone knows friends bring happiness, this is such a universal rule that I hardly feel the need to write about it. We are social creatures and long for human interaction. Our best memories are with friends and while we all like some alone time, we cannot live our lives like that. Think of the most hardcore of gamers, the ones that never leave their "mother's basement". What type of game do we hear about when we think of these people? MMORPGs. Before the internet no man could live a sane life living in his basement for months playing a single player game. I'm sure some people did, but not near the numbers that play games like WoW with a serious addiction. People can live in physical solitude while playing these games because there is human interaction everywhere. Ask someone who is seriously addicted to WoW or EQ2 what they do when they log on, and answer is always the same: Guilds. They have a vast social network online of people who respect them and talk and laugh with them.

Friendship is half the social game, on the quest for bliss humans must also venture into the domain of love. Love is a bit of a more advanced, more human social tendency, while even animals can befriend each other (think wolves) humans alone can express true love. Yes, I know many of you are thinking animals can love each other too, but I honestly don't think its the same. Animals befriend a mate and will protect him/her and their young to the death. I feel though that this is a instinctive response and not the same as a conscious unwaivering love, if you disagree please post as such. Anyway, since I believe love is a more human-specific function, it brings us even more happiness than simple friendship. The purest form of happiness is derived from a true loving relationship. Nothing will ever surpass it. It is no wonder over half of today suicides are derived from relationship problems. You can also see this in elderly couples that have been married for 50+ years, the vast majority of the time if the husband or wife dies, the other spouse passes away within three months. You draw your own conclusions on that one. Human interaction and friendship is perhaps our most basal form of happiness, but it is also the most crucial. Date and marry for love, not sex.

We're getting there. I believe there are three rules of happiness to be discovered and we most certainly just found one of them. Lets continue to chisel away at the Byzantine aspects of humans. Actually, speaking of chisels, lets discover the happiness behind hard labor.

We must be careful here, there is such a fine line between happiness and hate when it comes to physical labor, lets tease them apart starting at the most basic level. When humans first walked this earth they were different from animals because they used this intellect to create tools. They started out simple, such as using a large stick to defend yourself, but they soon advanced. You get great pride from building something useful and beautiful. Every time you use it or see it you are reminded of the hard work you put into it. Have any of you ever built a birdhouse out of wood, built castles out of sand, or spent hours toiling over something to create something that was simply amazing? You get pure, unfiltered happiness from making things with your hands. Why do you think so many of us love woodworking, fixing cars, gardening, or playing with Lego's? Heck we even do this when we play games, how many of you have played an RTS game like Starcraft or Command and Conquer, and often decide to ignore the enemy and instead build the "Ultimate Base" with 5 layers of defense and 10 of each building all perfectly organized. It's all inherent to us, we are designed to build creative things with our hands and with our minds.

But we must make a very clear distinction here, there is a difference between making a birdhouse in your free time and making one in a factory. Capitalism has twisted the way we work, instead of a shoemaker living in his workshop and making shoes by hand for those in his community, he has been placed in a factory to improve production efficiency. In a factory he no longer has any creative input, he no longer sees the product from start to finish, and he no longer sees the joy on his customer's faces. Making things just to sell them doesn't bring happiness anymore than clipping your toenails does. I think many of us have experienced this first hand, even if only in Runescape. Personally I recall spending entire mornings making chocolate cakes in the old Runescape; oh man, you had to run to the grain fields and back to the chef's guild, grind 5 grain as you pick up the pot respawn, get some cake tins, burn half of them, collect all the chocolate bars, and bring back those 10 cakes to your bank. Those ten delicious chocolate cakes would be added to my pile in my bank and I would see them whenever I went to the bank. In battle when I used them I remembered the hard work I put it to make them... it was fun. But one day I sell my cakes, they go for a pathetic 80 gold a piece, and my hours of labor turn into 640 gold. Whoopie, I'll add it to the pile. Man, if this was the only way to make money I would leave the game in a heartbeat.

But I digress, I think we understand the point, being forced to make something for monetary compensation is not fun at all, it's work. However putting blood sweat and tears into making something just for you (or a loved one) is a great feeling. But there's the problem, since we are forced to work for 8 hours a day and our conscious mind now thinks labor is a drag. What do we do when work/school is done and we get home? Nothing. We sit down and stare at TV or play video games. We as so confused as a people when it comes to happiness, that in our only free time we do things that bring us no real joy. Don't believe me? Look at retired people or people that won the lottery. Sure they are happy for a year or three but what do most of them do, they get new jobs or volunteer. Look at the results of world happiness surveys, are the richest and strongest countries at the top? No, smaller countries like Denmark are at the top, large enough to have a modern police force and political freedoms, but small enough that local shops and farmers that can still live their own simpler lives. Teenagers that inherit great sums of money live easy, yet hallow lives, often turning to drugs to try and find a source of joy; yet farmers and shoemakers lead hard lives for which are rewarded greatly in personal satisfaction and happiness. True happiness comes from production, not consumption.

Phew, two down, one to go. This is a lot to read all at once. It's okay if you take or break or just sit there and think for a minute. Once you are ready, let us continue to the third and final thought.

Self. It is something extremely unique to humans. Do you know how much more productive a wolf pack would be if the wolves sat down and said "okay Rufas, can your practice your sprints and be the wolf that start the chase, Tommy here will be our long distance runner, Sara is currently practicing the best way to remove the skin..." It doesn't happen, all the animals of pack try and do everything. We aren't like that and we shouldn't force it. Everyone has heard the saying "Do what you love and you will never work a day in your life" and it's amazing how each of us specialize so early on in our life. I have some family friends that recently adopted two foreign babies, Lilly and Terra. They are both around 24 months but act totally differently. Lilly loves her dolls, she will cradle her dolls and tuck them into their little beds; she also loves the family dog, sometimes kissing him right on his muzzle. Then you have Terra. Terra is a curious sort in the true sense of the word, almost as if she is an alien spy here to figure out how earth works. She will get away when you don't expect it and you will find her in the kitchen with a spoon in her hand, banging and tapping at all sorts of things and you can almost read her mind. What sounds does this make? What about if I hit it on this soft thing? Is that soft too? Does this shiny thing taste like the shiny thing I found yesterday? What does this object feel like? Will it survive a fall? I hear family laughter and I turn around and see Lilly hugging the dog and he tries to walk away. I feel like Will Smith in iRobot, I suddenly understand everything and no one else even notices a thing. My mind is practically screaming "Does no one else see this?! A flawless example of human specificity! One child is clearly set to become a determined scientist and the other will have the purest heart imaginable" Then I laugh and tell myself that for once I need to just enjoy a family outing without thinking of developmental psychology.

As I was saying, no two humans are even close to being the same. Happiness is such a hard term to define because it's not the same for any two people, it means its own special thing to all of us. We can all reach happiness in the same way though, do things that you are meant to do. And no, playing video games doesn't really count. Yes I know we all feel like that is our calling but it is simply and well designed distraction meant to bring temporary pleasure. Find something in the vast array of fields to study and jobs to occupy that you truly enjoy. Oftentimes you will know your true calling and be unable to get there, such as becoming an astronaut or fighter pilot. This is unfortunate but you should be able to find an analogous job that is within reach. Remember, humans have lived for millennia with the most basic of jobs and lifestyles available, yet I don't think Romans or ancient Egyptians were any more depressed that we are today. Keep things simple, and keep things in context. Do what comes naturally to you, and your personal satisfaction will be unmatched.

Love, hobbies, friends, and being yourself.

I think we all knew the secret to happiness this entire time, but we don't realize it until we discover it firsthand. I discovered it in this way, and if you followed along, questioning and contemplating the paragraphs as I have, I hope you have discovered happiness for yourself as well. Thank you for taking the time to read this long thread.

Oh and Tip.it? It's good to be back. :

Holy [bleep] wall of text. Trap's back.

You make good points, even if they're not all new and ground breaking. Of all that was stated I'd say the point about work, seeing your product from start to finish, is probably the one that I hadn't really thought about before. Although such an idea may apply to those more scientifically minded (or quite possibly not), that is a fact of life that I've witnessed but never realy thought about.

Btw, I would get rid of the "love...yourself" line near the end. That's kind of just an excuse for TL;DR; if the reader can't figure out the answers from your text (there own anwsers), if they need you to simplify it when you've spent so much time analyzing and explaining happiness, something's wrong. It's like, if you're going to write that why even create a wall of text.

THAT was EPIC!

It makes me imagine where such smart and creative people come from?

And it shows me that everyday wasters of time like video games are well... waste of time.

What is your happiness Trapical?

=D>

This is going in my favorites. I think I need to think some more before giving a real answer though.

Read it all. And it was well worth the time.

Thank you for that. :

Looks like another great topic by you.

I agree in everything you say about why humans are so depressed, and why we need that human interaction. "Do what you love and you will never work a day in your life," is a very true statement which has made me think a little bit on what I want to be doing a few years down the road.

Been reading Aristotle?

I can wholeheartedly agree with you on this. That was simply amazing, and pretty much unified any thoughts I have about the subject of happiness. I would just like to add one thing, you make yourself happy, because no one else can do that for you. Not your loved one, not you friend, not your teacher, not your boss, happiness is all about yourself. A loved one isn't someone who makes you happy, it's someone whose happiness further amplifies your own.

Also, you have a degree/study something to do with psychology, don't you? Biggest tip off is

I laugh and tell myself that for once I need to just enjoy a family outing without thinking of developmental psychology.

Either way, amazing post. And dsavi, thanks for recommending this should be read ;)

Obviously you are aware of the high quality of your post, so do I need to mention it and applaud you for a job well done?

Here you go: :thumbup: \

When we start analyzing human emotions with scientific terms, it's needed to go the whole way. I'll do it with math.

Happiness is like f(x)=sin(x), where time is in the x-axis, and happiness is in the y-axis. This says, you have to be sad sometimes, to feel happy another time. It is impossible to be happy all the time, so sadness is needed too. This relation between these two is interesting, aswell as how people view the times of happiness and sadness. In short term life seems to be boring, pointless and unbearable. After a while you remember your past as the "golden youth", or similar.

I hope you get my point :mrgreen:

I know playing video games isn't a good path to happiness, but I think it can be to the people who feel accomplished by making them.

This really needed to be said. Well written and a great read. =D>

I believe you were also going after the point that people spend time on things that they think make them happy, which reminds me so much of the "it" group in, say, a high school. They buy all the "cool" clothes and all the "hip" accessories, just so they can feel like a part of a group. But you know what I've noticed? Half the people in that group hate each other. How does that work? Surely being hated can't bring you happiness?

Don't want to sound like I'm taking your ideas, just my 2 cents.

Edit- Heh, 100 posts.

Obviously you are aware of the high quality of your post, so do I need to mention it and applaud you for a job well done?

 

Here you go: :thumbup: \

 

 

 

When we start analyzing human emotions with scientific terms, it's needed to go the whole way. I'll do it with math.

 

 

 

Happiness is like f(x)=sin(x), where time is in the x-axis, and happiness is in the y-axis. This says, you have to be sad sometimes, to feel happy another time. It is impossible to be happy all the time, so sadness is needed too. This relation between these two is interesting, aswell as how people view the times of happiness and sadness. In short term life seems to be boring, pointless and unbearable. After a while you remember your past as the "golden youth", or similar.

 

 

 

I hope you get my point :mrgreen:

Pfft, my f(x)=sin(.1x)+3.

Happy awesomeness function :o!

Happiness is like f(x)=sin(x), where time is in the x-axis, and happiness is in the y-axis. This says, you have to be sad sometimes, to feel happy another time. It is impossible to be happy all the time, so sadness is needed too. This relation between these two is interesting, aswell as how people view the times of happiness and sadness. In short term life seems to be boring, pointless and unbearable. After a while you remember your past as the "golden youth", or similar.

What?

Happiness is like f(x)=sin(x), where time is in the x-axis, and happiness is in the y-axis. This says, you have to be sad sometimes, to feel happy another time. It is impossible to be happy all the time, so sadness is needed too. This relation between these two is interesting, aswell as how people view the times of happiness and sadness. In short term life seems to be boring, pointless and unbearable. After a while you remember your past as the "golden youth", or similar.

Thats a pretty good point, I never thought of the sine curve of happiness before. And when we look back we shallow out all the dips, making us think the past was so much better than the present. Thanks for that insight :

Been reading Aristotle?

Marx actually. The early stuff, before he got all radical.

What is your happiness Trapical?

Ah, my happiness. Happiness is a 6am kayak ride to an small, uninhabited, forested island 20 minutes from my house. You dock the kayak, sit on the rocks, and watch the morning mist slowly rise as the bird's songs are the only things that break the silence. Bonus points if the sticks are dry enough for me to make a small fire and brew some tea, then I can enjoy a hot beverage to sip on as the ~60 degree weather is just cool enough to not be uncomfortable.

picture

That is my special happiness, and I will miss it dearly when I move away.

Happiness is like f(x)=sin(x), where time is in the x-axis, and happiness is in the y-axis. This says, you have to be sad sometimes, to feel happy another time. It is impossible to be happy all the time, so sadness is needed too. This relation between these two is interesting, aswell as how people view the times of happiness and sadness. In short term life seems to be boring, pointless and unbearable. After a while you remember your past as the "golden youth", or similar.

 

 

 

What?

Might as well explain this now, not let us math geeks have all the fun \

The times the red line spends below the horizontal axis shows times when you are unhappy in life, and when the red line is above the horizontal line you are happy. He was just saying we all spend time being both happy and unhappy... well except Rebdragon, very clever :thumbup:

EDIT: shoulda read the above post that explained it before I posted :wall:

Anyway, read through most of it and sat in awe at your words. They're incredibly true. It's great to see you back, the 10 days of your threads was the best 10 days in Offtopic history. You should do something like that again.

I connected with this masterpiece for sure.

I especially loved the part where you said:

"Heck we even do this when we play games, how many of you have played an RTS game like Starcraft or Command and Conquer, and often decide to ignore the enemy and instead build the "Ultimate Base" with 5 layers of defense and 10 of each building all perfectly organized."

Thank you, Trapical.

I connected greatly with that long post. I read the whole thing just thinking in awe how true it is and showing that other people can receive happiness in their own special way. Thank you for posting this.

You are awesome.

You're my favourite OP, to be honest.

(1) Making things just to sell them doesn't bring happiness anymore than clipping your toenails does. ...

 

 

 

(2) What do we do when work/school is done and we get home? Nothing. We sit down and stare at TV or play video games. We as so confused as a people when it comes to happiness, that in our only free time we do things that bring us no real joy. ... However putting blood sweat and tears into making something just for you (or a loved one) is a great feeling. ...

 

 

 

(3) Teenagers that inherit great sums of money live easy, yet hallow lives, often turning to drugs to try and find a source of joy; yet farmers and shoemakers lead hard lives for which are rewarded greatly in personal satisfaction and happiness. True happiness comes from production, not consumption.

The above is simply a narrow expression of how you personally feel the rest of us should live.

(1) This is entirely dependent on the individual. To some, "making things just to sell" (i.e. profit) can bring more joy than production for personal use.

(2) This too is dependent on the individual. After a long day of labour, the last thing on my mind is more labour.

(3) True happiness can come from both production and consumption. For me, kicking back with a beer and/or a joint and "consuming" the beautiful view of an open lake brings me a great deal of happiness. Others may prefer to "consume" artificial imagery on a television screen. Who are you to tell me that these feelings of happiness are "not real"? :lol:

Welcome back, Trapical. I'll leave you with a quote. I urge you to take its advice. :)

Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word tell. -- William Strunk Jr.

I didn't read all of this thread, but I skimmed it and couldn't see any numbers. I think that some evidence is needed to back up (or not) the philosophical ideas. Here are a couple:

Around 30% of your satisfaction with life is accounted for by your personality. In other words, some people are born to be dissatisfied whatever happens.

Concerning things you actually have control over, the best predictor of satisfaction with life is health.

Might as well explain this now, not let us math geeks have all the fun \

 

 

 

 

The times the red line spends below the horizontal axis shows times when you are unhappy in life, and when the red line is above the horizontal line you are happy. He was just saying we all spend time being both happy and unhappy... well except Rebdragon, very clever :thumbup:

No no, I know the maths as well as anyone. My point was that it's a fairly arbitary and meangingless function to attach to it without any kind of evidence for it. Some people might have an exponential "happiness graph", some a logarthimic etc. etc. Peaks and troughs occur in everything in life, but to attach such a well defined mathematical function to it seems a little silly.

I didn't read all of this thread, but I skimmed it and couldn't see any numbers. I think that some evidence is needed to back up (or not) the philosophical ideas. Here are a couple:

 

 

 

Around 30% of your satisfaction with life is accounted for by your personality. In other words, some people are born to be dissatisfied whatever happens.

 

 

 

Concerning things you actually have control over, the best predictor of satisfaction with life is health.

You don't even bother to read the words that he wrote, yet you criticize him because you didn't see any numbers in the text? Wow, don't even bother replying if you don't know what other people are talking about.

Maths do not equal happiness for me.

Brings to mind this comic:

[hide=This'un.][/hide]

EDIT: infam0us got owned. By himself. :