I think you should lower the amount of colours you are using and work on your flow for your next piece. Good concept though, I like the focal placement and effects but they're tad much so I suggest removing some. colorschemedesigner.com a really good site for colour schemes, it was posted on the Gallery resource thread by Nadril, there are also a lot of nice .psds posted by users such as Littleboy that could get handy. Also if you have time you could always make an entry for the Tipit Signature of the week competiton I reckon that you would make a great addition to the competition.