issy2

He has to be SUPER SRS Oh gross! Who is that?! I think her name is Olivia Munn. I honestly can't see her as attractive at all :-# But it's what's inside that counts :

Thanks very much, comments really welcome : ) I might change one of those two words (musty and dusty) to heady... that fabulous smell of an old book is hard to describe though. I like the meaning of the two words but as you say perhaps the rhyme isn't right. I definitely agree with you about the 'moreover' thing. 'Impatient to be read' - I'm not sure I fully understand what you're asking but I meant that in the rustling, stirring noises coming from the pages of the diary, there seems to be an impatience about them as though they want to be read. Sorry if that's not very clear, but yes, it's referring to the diary, not the narrator. I think I will attempt to fill it out a bit with extracts from the diary itself. All I'm concerned about, though, is those extracts not living up to the narrator's description: if it's in the reader's imagination they can take the narrator's word for it about how touching and everything it is. If I provide bits of the diary it might undermine that ... I will give it a go though. Thanks very much guys! : )

First thing I've written in ages so not very successful I imagine. Sorry for the unimaginative title :P Let me know what you thing, improvements, c/c et cetera. Thanks very much and enjoy! Issy. [hide=]The diary lay before me on the table, radiating temptation. The faded leather cover was covered in stratches and dents, proof of how unfailing a companion it had been to the author. I shouldnt read it, I knew. I shouldnt even consider it. It was private and privacy needs to be respected. The weight of temptation is the hardest to bear and easiest to be relieved. With shaking hands I caressed the cover, ran my fingers over its surface, breathed the musty, dusty scent of pages which she had poured her life into. I could taste that life in the air as I turned onto the first page, conscious that, save the author, I was the only person to have ever touched it, to have heard the stirring and rustling of the pages as though impatient to be read. Enchanted, I began to read. As I read on the diary evolved, becoming less like a notebook and more and more the only place the author felt able to talk openly, sometimes in desperation, sometimes in good humour, about everything that made up her world. She began to sign her name, as though she was revisiting an old friend with every entry, often noted down quotes or sayings she admired before beginning to talk about herself, and filled pages with jokes, observations, and witticisms. I realised that this was no ordinary diary. The author was quiet and shy, and yet she came to life within these yellowed pages. Or maybe all diaries are like that. Just people, normal people, hiding so much of themselves away because they couldnt share themselves with anyone. As we all do, to some extent. By the time I reached the end I had forgotten myself, abandoned all pretence of solemnity. Raw emotion, not always negative. Sadness, anger, desperation and despair, yes but hope, affection, bravery and humour; it hit me hard, and I did not know what to do. Her jokes and stories had made me laugh out loud, but now I felt like crying. And not only because of the shock of reality. She had written these things down in the belief that they would never be read, and I had abused that. I was disgusted with myself, appalled that I had given in to such a basic human instinct, curiousity in the guise of necessity. Moreover, no-one had ever had the time or patience to listen to her, and the world had gone on, barely noticing, let alone stopping to offer a helping hand. I had been among those who turned away, who never had the time to listen and talk. I wouldnt be like that again, I knew. Because thats all a lot of people need, really. Someone to talk to. So I shut the diary. The leather covers closed together with a soft, satisfied sound, as though they felt they had done their work. The time had come for the diary to be shut away once more. Maybe in a hundred years time some other would find it hidden away, blow the dust from its cover and be enchanted by the authors touching tale. But for now it would lie in peace. Undisturbed, until it was ready.[/hide]

Well first off you obviously have a very good vocabulary and a relatively mature writing style: it doesn't sound particularly clumsy or choppy. I would say, though, that the paragraphs are too structured. While the words and phrases themselves are pretty fluent the sequence of paragraphs aren't. In some styles of writing that's a good thing, essays and arguments for instance, but here it seems a touch overdone. As I said you obviously have a very good vocabulary but it seems like there's too many long words in there - it's very detailed, is there a way of thinning it out a bit? I do like it, though, it's very interesting, got a thoughtful, philosophical atmosphere about it.

Welcome to the American Dream. Well that's encouraging :(

IMHO it's an incredibly basic part of being part of a community. If it's a financial issue, and it's people who are worrying about paying more taxes standing in the way of nationalised healthcare... jeez. It's nothing more than basic decency and selflessness, surely? If someone can't deal with having a small amount sliced off their wage to help those in need of medical care they don't deserve to be part of a society. It seems like if we're missing anything in the West, it's a sense of civic duty. I'm not even talking about nationalised healthcare but it feels like everyone's just living for themselves, no obligations to anybody else...

Aw Gareth has such a nice smile <3:

They don't. Simple as. Only a fool would assume the least weepy woman in the world sheds more tears than the most emotional man on the planet. However if we modify your question slightly - Because it's true. The last thing I want to do is generalise but the average woman cries more than the average man. I've seen quite a few of my girlfriends cry but I've only ever seen guys cry out of extreme pain or anger, and even then they do their best to keep tear-shedding to a minimum. But there's nothing wrong with it, no reason why guys should feel an obligation to remain dry-eyed all the time. If you're upset about something I think it's pretty healthy to have a good sob about it. Good luck at your new school, have a good time!

Hah like anyone would plagerize me! Have you changed your msn? x I don't thiiink so... I'll pm it to you just in case : )

Even if we assume the research is true, the point isn't that after 10,000 hours you suddenly master something - as you said learning is a gradual process and different for everyone. There was also some info in an article I read about this that those who've done 10,000 hours of something are those considered phenomenal at it, 8,000 is enough to be far better than average and 6,000 or so to teach it. Can't find the article atm, it's hidden somewhere under a massive pile of newspaper cuttings in my room, might dig it up later. Found this on the internet though. [hide=] [/hide] http://www.psychol.ucl.ac.uk/david.shan ... rtise.html Thank you. <3: Pleasure :

Even if we assume the research is true, the point isn't that after 10,000 hours you suddenly master something - as you said learning is a gradual process and different for everyone. There was also some info in an article I read about this that those who've done 10,000 hours of something are those considered phenomenal at it, 8,000 is enough to be far better than average and 6,000 or so to teach it. Can't find the article atm, it's hidden somewhere under a massive pile of newspaper cuttings in my room, might dig it up later. Found this on the internet though. [hide=] [/hide] http://www.psychol.ucl.ac.uk/david.shan ... rtise.html

Writing, or film direction.

Ohhh xD Thought this was plagarism for a minute. Well it's nice to read this again, I remember it well! :P

I think that l0rd has the best choices here tbh :? The photo of Zoey Deschanel is definitely the best photo on here IMO

Are you Andy?

The guys... [hide=] [/hide] and the gals - [hide=] [/hide]

I'd write a letter to everyone that's had a significant impact on my life, address them and leave them somewhere to be sent. I'd get on my bike and go and see a few places one last time (the schools I've been to, a couple of houses where I've spent a lot of time, say goodbye.) Then I'd come home, get a pencil and cover the walls of my room with writing - all my thoughts and ideas and things I've wanted to say, messages for my family, favourite lyrics and bits of poetry. I'd do that listening to music: Muse, Jay Jay Pistolet, the Love Cats, by the Cure, and lots of Louis Armstrong. Smash the window in my room so it'd open onto the sky - only opens a few inches at the moment, watch the stars. I wouldn't want to be asleep really. I'd want to know exactly what was happening to me. Wouldn't be so bad if it was tonight, because I could die watching a meteor shower : ) /babbling

Tony Blair? North Korea... don't know how long all that's been going on for though 9/11, Al-Qaeda, etc, the emergence of 'green' energy. Huge scientific advances, maybe the LHC.

Hello, haven't seen you around before : ) This is going to sound quite vague and potentially irrelevant, so just bear with me, ok? One thing you have to realise about stories, and successful stories, is that they are vehicles for something else - the emotion. Two things are needed to create a successful story - the technical skill, (spelling, grammar, sentence, paragraph and plot structure) and the emotional/artistic capability to create emotion, involve the reader, make them feel for the characters. Of course there are no rules when it comes to art, but all the same there are going to be certain things you can do to improve a piece of writing. I was talking to my dad the other day about music production - he was saying how there are producers who are technically incredibly good, have amazingly sensitive ears, know a vast amount about sound, acoustics, and the like - and yet they lack the sensitivity to make the listener feel. They can create things which aren't emotionally successful, which fail to engage, fail to leave the listener feeling the intended emotion. Going back to the first thing I said, in many cases a piece of writing that may be deemed 'good' is often a vehicle for emotion. (although I guess that's a tricky thing to define...) Good stories, books, fairytales - they will all be based on themes. Think of any book you like, and write a mental list of the themes it involves - they'll be several at least. But you can't start a book with the theme plastered all over every page, it has to be subtle, it has to be something the reader works out for themselves. Let's take, for instance, Harry Potter. I'll assume you know the story? Read the first page, just a couple of paragraphs. You'll find there's not any theme mentioned there, and it's the same for others famous tales. At the beginning of a tale like that, the focus is on a few characters and what's going on in their lives. It's almost a bit claustrophobic, knowing very little. I think as the tale goes on it's as though the camera zooms out - you start to see the bigger picture, more characters, more history, more development, and the focus zooms out even more, and you see a bigger picture still, with those characters you love or hate at the very centre - they're the focal point of attention, still at the forefront of the mind, but behind them are the themes that have influenced them the whole way through, the things that the reader should be -perhaps subconsciously? - thinking about. theme, noun - an idea or principle explored by the author Now, back to the point! : The theme of your story is very obviously love. But the reader shouldn't know that in the first line. Or, at the very least, it shouldn't be told to them in the first line. As I heard once - authors shouldn't talk, they whisper. If, for instance, it was a printed book, the reader would probably already have a reasonably good idea of the subject matter - through the blurb, cover, title, maybe reviews, etc. But the focus needs to be on the characters and plot, which leads to thought about the themes. Not the other way around. Basically, I would suggest you fill it out a lot - detail detail. Start with a scene, maybe - and maybe include a very short description of the characters within that scene, but for the most part let knowledge of the other characters come from their actions, their speech and movements, the words you choose. Try and work out a scene in your head where some of the main characters can be present, and their main qualities are all apparent in that scene. Sorry this has been so long, hope I haven't bored you to death XD Sorry if it seems totally irrelevant lol. I love the title btw, a criminal called love - very nice. Also how long are you intending it to be?

Whoa... how come you guys all start school so early? I don't go back till September :shock:

Here here. I fear that when people say "People have to live with the consequences of their actions" it's out of a little spite as well as justice - rather conservative and unpleasant. People make mistakes, it happens. Doesn't mean that everyone involved should have to live with it for the rest of their lives.

I'm a she btw : ) but thanks. Zierro: I'm not saying women who get pregnant should have abortions, which is how you seem to be interpreting it. I know and totally understand why some people have a problem with abortion, but if a woman wants an abortion, a personal choice, I don't believe anyone has the right to deny it her. Condoms are the guy's job, no? Not trying to blame males for unwanted pregnancies, obviously, but in the end it's the woman who's going to carry the baby, give birth to it, and most likely be its primary guardian. So while responsibility for pregnancy is shared between the males and the females, responsibility for the baby itself is rather loaded on the woman. And you said I made everything sound so simple... :roll: So either way, she ruins her life no matter what she chooses? Like I said, for some women, abortion will inevitably be the lesser of two evils. Yeah, because most people have done everything they wanted to do by the age of 30. :roll: I'm sorry, I just can't fathom the idea of putting a baby (who, let's face it, is barely alive and certainly not conscious) before a woman who a) is conscious, and capable of emotion, and B) probably has friends, family, colleagues, etc who care about her and her welfare, I don't believe I did. Merely saying that if an individual thinks it's the right thing to do, no one else should be able to stop them.

Then surely they're unfit for parenthood anyway, and abortion is best for everyone?

A) The baby wasn't the one who caused this situation, the mother did. Why should the baby be punished for something it had no control over when the irresponsible mother gets off scott free? B) A chance of ruining a life isn't as harsh as a surefire termination of one. (In fact, there is even a chance that baby could make your life better.) C) Like I said, the mother already experienced life and the baby didn't. So the mother can share her life (sharing isn't nearly as bad as death in my opinion), which she already lived at least long enough to get to puberty, or she can terminate the baby's. Not that I wholeheartedly agree with all the pro-life stances, but I'm just saying they have just as much of a logical point as you do. Personally, I'm pretty much on the fence with abortion. Firstly, abortion isn't a good thing - I'm not condoning it, merely saying it's the lesser of two evils. Denying an unborn baby the chance to live it's life, or denying a woman the chance to get out a situation she'll have to live with for the rest of her life, very probably caused by one tiny mistake? A) That's quite a big assumption, saying the mother caused the pregnancy. Takes two to tango.... and what about rape? Split condom? Pushy boyfriend? And again, assuming the mother gets off scot free? I doubt it. It'll haunt her, most probably, for the rest of her life, and she may well be depressed ages afterwards. She may not have to shoulder the responsibility of a child, but the burden of having had an abortion? B) I think a full grown woman capable of making her own decisions deserves the opportunity to live hers to the full, without it being comprised by having to bring up another human being. If a woman knows she doesn't want a baby, no can do. C) How can you say that every woman who's had sex has 'experienced life'? Putting aside the fact that that's an incredibly non-specific term, 'experiencing life' is so non-absolute. It's not like you reach a certain stage and think, 'yeah, cool, I've done everything, doesn't matter very much what I do with the next however-many years'. Sure, she may have lived a little - but isn't a taster of life, and having the rest cut short, worse than never living it all? I know you'd probably say it's not fair to assume having a baby would cut a woman's life short (obviously many people want children and some live to be parents), but everyone's different. It's such a personal thing... you can't assume babies would improve everyone's life.