Self esteem

[Lionheart_0]

(This is lionheart, not darkrick, ignore the avy and sig)

 

 

 

Self esteem.

 

 

 

We all are born with it. As a kid, it didn't matter how we looked, or how we did, as long as we did it, it was good.

 

 

 

But then we grew older, and started to care what others thought of us. This is fine and dandy, but leads me to another question: Why is self esteem lower in some people then others?

 

 

 

As a kid, my parents always wanted me in something. Whether it be beavers or karate or cadets, it was always something that they wanted me to do to get my self esteem up. You see, as a kid I was always picked on, heck I am still picked on to this day. But why is it that now in the ending of my teenage years, after years of enduring emotional and social abuse from others about my looks, the way I think, the way I speak, everything! That I feel my best. I feel confident, I feel ready to take on the world!

 

 

 

Which brings me to my point. Why is it that people who go through even less, be it guys or girls, seem to grow up with such a self esteem complex. You ask that guy to go do something, and they will say "No! that is so uncool, I will be made fun of". Or the girl who, when told she looks good, replies "But I'm not, I wish so much was changed!".

 

 

 

What creates these self esteem complexes in which people think so lowly of themselves, even if the ones close to them say they are much better?

[Ginger_Warrior]

I think it's how the person thinks about something. Take someone who goes by their gut instinct, and doesn't particularly think things through, then they'll genereally have a high self-esteem, confident in the fact what they feel is right is the best thing to do.

 

 

 

Take another person who thinks more deeply with their mind, however, and you may find they're much more analytical and thoughtful about what other people think of them. They start to question the motives of those around them, and whether or not people actually like who they are. They think about faults inside themselves or how they could be better, which brings doubt to their mind. Basically, such people think more intrinsically, and this casts doubt over what would otherwise be a simple problem.

 

 

 

The reason some people start to lower in self-esteem as they grow older is because the way we think is developed as we grow up. Therefore, when we grow up, we start to think more about stuff like this.

 

 

 

That's what personal experience teaches me about self-esteem anyway.

[InkofDeath]

Or the girl who, when told she looks good, replies "But I'm not, I wish so much was changed!".

 

2/3's of the female population at my school. :-k

 

 

 

I think we all start off with some self-esteem, its just the problems that are there in our lives as we grow up that lower, or raise it. Getting involved in community events, or opening your head to the 'real world' before you go into grade 7+ really prepares you for the criticism you'll receive.

 

 

 

I once knew someone who never spoke, never did sports, couldn't even do a one paragraph presentation in front of 20 grade 5s, couldn't start a conversation, was extremely quiet, and withdrawn. Over one summer she took a sport. Sky Diving. Most of everything I said above about her changed to the direct opposite. I don't know if fear, or near-death experiences raise our self-esteem but she had little to no fears, and was able to do the speeches you have to do in elementary schools. She was quite athletic, and started to date a lot of males. Whether she grew out of it, or changed during her sky diving lessons, I don't know. Just seems interesting.

[highlanders]

I had zero self esteem when I was little, I was 4 yrs old and I was insecure and scared. Mainly because my parents didn't take enough care of me. I only gained self esteem after suffering a lot. At that point, after I had suffered so much, I had a tougher skin and I realised I could go through anything, and the self esteem that was gone for many years was back.

 

 

 

In short, I spent around 13 years of my life going at school, talking to no one because I had social anxiety, saying no words in an entire day or sometimes one sentence. It's quite nerve wrecking, and most of you think you've suffered but you have no idea. I'm glad I suffered though, it was a triggered of change. It's like an intensive boot camp, it hurts, but when you get back, you're so much stronger. Other people, they didn't suffer, but they are a lot weaker on all levels. Embrace suffering, it's worth it in the end.

 

 

 

Anyway, that's pretty much all I have to say.

[Bubsa]

Dude, you grew up! :) It's that simple.

 

 

 

No child goes through their teenage years without some trauma or abuse. Some get it through bullying, but there's other means as well. What they are is irrelevant to this, but the outcome is the same: For those who accept these harsh lessons, recognise them, not necessarily tolerating them, these are the people who'll grow and learn, becoming adults.

[IGoddessI]

As Bubsa said, some people can just accept things, others can't.

 

 

 

Not everybody is as strong as you, mentally but well done for being so mature.

 

 

 

I grew up being drilled in to me that I was a screw up and would never be anything good in life.

 

 

 

Showed them eh? :P

[Lionheart_0]

Thanks for the answers everyone, it makes much more sense to me ^.^ .

 

 

 

I really wish there were some people i could help. I tell them positive things all the time and give them ways of thinking positively, but they never let me help properly :(

[InkofDeath]

Thanks for the answers everyone, it makes much more sense to me ^.^ .

 

 

 

I really wish there were some people i could help. I tell them positive things all the time and give them ways of thinking positively, but they never let me help properly :(

 

Give them some of that old tough love. :

[xvillexvalox]

I don't have a low self-esteem, but I'm just incredibly pessimistic at times, which may seem like a lowered self-esteem from far away.

 

 

 

If there's no one to tell me I'm wrong and everything's alright then I get over protective and depressed. But I ussually do over think things and everything around me is better than it seems and all it takes to make me happier is for someone to tell me that.

 

No one does this better than my new girlfreind, when I do something sweet or romantic she whispers in my ear "You're sweet", "You're my favorite person", or "I really like you", and that makes me feel like I'm on top of the world.

 

 

 

 

 

EDIT: Oh and having your parents admit to you that you were a mistake doesn't help things. :lol:

[highlanders]

Dude, you grew up! :) It's that simple.

 

 

 

No child goes through their teenage years without some trauma or abuse. Some get it through bullying, but there's other means as well. What they are is irrelevant to this, but the outcome is the same: For those who accept these harsh lessons, recognise them, not necessarily tolerating them, these are the people who'll grow and learn, becoming adults.

 

Wow, you are so ignorant. Social anxiety is a psychological problem, just as bad as depression, and it often leads to depression. By saying it's "normal", you deem that social anxiety doesn't exist, and that all the people who suffer from it are idiots imagining things. IT'S A PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEM YOU MORON. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_anxiety You can't even imagine what I went through. No point in arguing with you though, you're a stuck up idiot and you know it. What's your comback for your ignorance you loser, that psycholoists made up "social anxiety" and that it doesn't exist, that are the symptoms and made up and that you just decided so? Ffs, ignorant fool. Go tell that to entire forum communities that suffer from it!

[darkmage099]

Dude, you grew up! :) It's that simple.

 

 

 

No child goes through their teenage years without some trauma or abuse. Some get it through bullying, but there's other means as well. What they are is irrelevant to this, but the outcome is the same: For those who accept these harsh lessons, recognise them, not necessarily tolerating them, these are the people who'll grow and learn, becoming adults.

 

Wow, you are so ignorant. You can't even imagine what I went through. No point in arguing with you though, you're a stuck up idiot and you know it.

 

 

 

What do you want us to do? Cry for you?

 

 

 

OK:

 

 

 

[highlanders]

Dude, you grew up! :) It's that simple.

 

 

 

No child goes through their teenage years without some trauma or abuse. Some get it through bullying, but there's other means as well. What they are is irrelevant to this, but the outcome is the same: For those who accept these harsh lessons, recognise them, not necessarily tolerating them, these are the people who'll grow and learn, becoming adults.

 

Wow, you are so ignorant. You can't even imagine what I went through. No point in arguing with you though, you're a stuck up idiot and you know it.

 

 

 

What do you want us to do? Cry for you?

 

 

 

OK:

 

 

 

 

Read the rest of my message, you moron.

[darkmage099]

Dude, you grew up! :) It's that simple.

 

 

 

No child goes through their teenage years without some trauma or abuse. Some get it through bullying, but there's other means as well. What they are is irrelevant to this, but the outcome is the same: For those who accept these harsh lessons, recognise them, not necessarily tolerating them, these are the people who'll grow and learn, becoming adults.

 

Wow, you are so ignorant. You can't even imagine what I went through. No point in arguing with you though, you're a stuck up idiot and you know it.

 

 

 

What do you want us to do? Cry for you?

 

 

 

OK:

 

 

 

 

Read the rest of my message, you moron.

 

 

 

Too bad YOU EDITED IT AFTER I posted (or clicked "quote")

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By the way, I'm still crying for you...if that makes you feel any better.

[highlanders]

Dude, you grew up! :) It's that simple.

 

 

 

No child goes through their teenage years without some trauma or abuse. Some get it through bullying, but there's other means as well. What they are is irrelevant to this, but the outcome is the same: For those who accept these harsh lessons, recognise them, not necessarily tolerating them, these are the people who'll grow and learn, becoming adults.

 

Wow, you are so ignorant. You can't even imagine what I went through. No point in arguing with you though, you're a stuck up idiot and you know it.

 

 

 

What do you want us to do? Cry for you?

 

 

 

OK:

 

 

 

 

Read the rest of my message, you moron.

 

 

 

Too bad YOU EDITED IT AFTER I posted (or clicked "quote")

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By the way, I'm still crying for you...if that makes you feel any better.

 

 

 

Yes, I edited it like 30 seconds after I posted it. There would have been no problem if you weren't so EAGER to post your little spammy message.

[llamster]

[hide]

Dude, you grew up! :) It's that simple.

 

 

 

No child goes through their teenage years without some trauma or abuse. Some get it through bullying, but there's other means as well. What they are is irrelevant to this, but the outcome is the same: For those who accept these harsh lessons, recognise them, not necessarily tolerating them, these are the people who'll grow and learn, becoming adults.

 

Wow, you are so ignorant. You can't even imagine what I went through. No point in arguing with you though, you're a stuck up idiot and you know it.

 

 

 

What do you want us to do? Cry for you?

 

 

 

OK:

 

 

 

 

Read the rest of my message, you moron.

 

 

 

Too bad YOU EDITED IT AFTER I posted (or clicked "quote")

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By the way, I'm still crying for you...if that makes you feel any better.

[/hide]

 

 

 

What Bubsa's saying is that social anxiety builds character. In Highlander's case, it probably wasn't a good thing, but it sometimes is good for you, if it is mild.

[highlanders]

[hide]

Dude, you grew up! :) It's that simple.

 

 

 

No child goes through their teenage years without some trauma or abuse. Some get it through bullying, but there's other means as well. What they are is irrelevant to this, but the outcome is the same: For those who accept these harsh lessons, recognise them, not necessarily tolerating them, these are the people who'll grow and learn, becoming adults.

 

Wow, you are so ignorant. You can't even imagine what I went through. No point in arguing with you though, you're a stuck up idiot and you know it.

 

 

 

What do you want us to do? Cry for you?

 

 

 

OK:

 

 

 

 

Read the rest of my message, you moron.

 

 

 

Too bad YOU EDITED IT AFTER I posted (or clicked "quote")

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By the way, I'm still crying for you...if that makes you feel any better.

[/hide]

 

 

 

What Bubsa's saying is that social anxiety builds character. In Highlander's case, it probably wasn't a good thing, but it sometimes is good for you, if it is mild.

 

Wow, you idiot, sure protect your favorite idiot and blame me. Read his message you illerate fool. He said it was "normal" for any child and that it was just growing up, basically saying all the pain I went through was "normal". What an ignorant statement. Believe me, I see you little "normal" people, your suffering is nothing.

[yomom1919]

all the pain I went through. Believe me, I see you little "normal" people, your suffering is nothing.

 

 

 

Jesus, is that you?

[Rebdragon]

Highlanders, maybe if you used the words "idiot", "moron", "ignorant", "fool", and "apocalypse" less, people would actually listen to you.

[llamster]

[hide]

Dude, you grew up! :) It's that simple.

 

 

 

No child goes through their teenage years without some trauma or abuse. Some get it through bullying, but there's other means as well. What they are is irrelevant to this, but the outcome is the same: For those who accept these harsh lessons, recognise them, not necessarily tolerating them, these are the people who'll grow and learn, becoming adults.

 

Wow, you are so ignorant. You can't even imagine what I went through. No point in arguing with you though, you're a stuck up idiot and you know it.

 

 

 

What do you want us to do? Cry for you?

 

 

 

OK:

 

 

 

 

Read the rest of my message, you moron.

 

 

 

Too bad YOU EDITED IT AFTER I posted (or clicked "quote")

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By the way, I'm still crying for you...if that makes you feel any better.

[/hide]

 

 

 

What Bubsa's saying is that social anxiety builds character. In Highlander's case, it probably wasn't a good thing, but it sometimes is good for you, if it is mild.

 

Wow, you idiot, sure protect your favorite idiot and blame me. Read his message you illerate fool. He said it was "normal" for any child and that it was just growing up, basically saying all the pain I went through was "normal". What an ignorant statement. Believe me, I see you little "normal" people, your suffering is nothing.

 

 

 

Mild pain is good, normal, and builds character. The pain you experienced is not good, nor is it normal, but in the end it built character anyway.

[IGoddessI]

Highlanders,

 

 

 

Walk it off and stop being silly you can get your point across without the name calling.

 

 

 

People will actually listen to you and you may even get an apology if something has offended you, if you can be mature about it.

[Nom]

Um, yeah, highlanders. Take a chill pill.

 

 

 

Highlanders, maybe if you used the words "idiot", "moron", "ignorant", "fool", and "apocalypse" less, people would actually listen to you.

 

 

 

I like how you threw "apocalypse" in there :XD: .

[PaperClipsYaaaar]

Dude, you grew up! :) It's that simple.

 

 

 

No child goes through their teenage years without some trauma or abuse. Some get it through bullying, but there's other means as well. What they are is irrelevant to this, but the outcome is the same: For those who accept these harsh lessons, recognise them, not necessarily tolerating them, these are the people who'll grow and learn, becoming adults.

 

Wow, you are so ignorant. Social anxiety is a psychological problem, just as bad as depression, and it often leads to depression. By saying it's "normal", you deem that social anxiety doesn't exist, and that all the people who suffer from it are idiots imagining things. IT'S A PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEM YOU MORON. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_anxiety You can't even imagine what I went through. No point in arguing with you though, you're a stuck up idiot and you know it. What's your comback for your ignorance you loser, that psycholoists made up "social anxiety" and that it doesn't exist, that are the symptoms and made up and that you just decided so? Ffs, ignorant fool. Go tell that to entire forum communities that suffer from it!

 

Shut up. Thinking of social anxiety as a medical disease will not help you get rid of it, no matter whether or not it really is a disease.

[IGoddessI]

Yes it is a psychological problem.

 

 

 

I'm a public speaker who has social anxiety, it doesn't mean that I can't grow and learn by it.

 

 

 

It also doesn't mean that I have to yell or name call to get my point across to people.

 

 

 

If you can genuinely say to someone in a polite way that something they said has upset you, they would most probably come to a reasonable conclusion where you are both happy.

 

 

 

The biggest help I can be to you highlanders is by learning to minimise offensiveness in your message and making I statements. Bubsa doesn't own the problem, you do.

 

 

 

Bubsa is a pretty reasonable person, he doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve, if you did things maturely I'm sure he would have compromised with you.

[RayOxide]

Hmm. My thought about this is that it is a weaker type of depression is most cases, with me, I can't admit things #-o .

 

 

 

Yes, (IMO) it is a mental 'disease' of somesort. It's made by your brain if you aren't strong enough to ignore the mental anguish and pain from other 'bullies' and all. Thus, having a weaker type of what I would call 'mental defence' technically makes you more vulnerable. Since last year, even though I have never taken ritalin or anything (Ever) and was such an angry little bastard I was easily angered. This year I can defend my feelings alot better.

 

 

 

E.G: Someone:"Haha. You're a loser." Me:"Once again, (Name), you have broken my feelings in half, and shattered my heart into a million pieces. [/sarcasm]. Much like your brain"

 

:)

[Lionheart_0]

.... Guys: "One [persons] love is another's hate".

 

 

 

Basically, just because one person feels one way about something, dosen't mean all share it, so don't be offended by such stuff and stem hate and conflict from that.

 

 

 

I doubt it helps your self esteem either ;)