http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/meast ... index.html

 

July 16th 2008

 

Nujood Ali is 10 years old, but she already has been married and divorced. It was an arranged marriage in which she said a husband three times her age routinely beat and raped her.

 

 

 

"When I got married, I was afraid. I didn't want to leave home. I wanted to stay with my brothers and sisters and my mom and dad," she said, speaking to CNN with the permission of her parents.

 

 

 

"I didn't want to sleep with him, but he forced me to. He hit me, insulted me."

 

 

 

As she plays marbles with her brothers and sister, Nujood is a portrait of innocence, with a shy smile and a playful nature.

 

 

 

But what happened evokes anger and shame. Asked if what she went through was torture, she nods quietly. Watch Nujod describe what happened »

 

 

 

Nujood's parents married her off in February to a man in his 30s whom she describes as old and ugly.

 

 

 

Her parents said they thought they were putting her in the care of her husband's family, but Nujood said he would often beat her into submission.

 

 

 

Nujood then turned to her family for mercy.

 

 

 

"When I heard, my heart burned for her; he wasn't supposed to sleep with her," said Nujood's mother, who asked not to be identified.

 

 

 

But, initially, she also told her daughter she could not help her -- that she belonged to her husband now.

 

 

 

Nujood's father, Ali Mohammed Ahdal, said he is angry about what happened to his daughter. "He was a criminal, a criminal. He did hateful things to her," he said. "He didn't keep his promise to me that he wouldn't go near her until she was 20."

 

 

 

When contacted by CNN, the girl's former husband declined to comment.

 

 

 

Nujood's parents, like so many others in Yemen, struck a social bargain when they decided to have their daughter wed. More than half of all Yemeni girls are married off before the age of 18, according to Oxfam International, a nonprofit group that fights global poverty and injustice.

 

 

 

Many times girls are forced to marry older men, including some who already have at least one wife, Oxfam said. According to tribal customs, the girls are no longer viewed as a financial or moral burden to their parents.

 

 

 

"There is always a fear that the girl will do something to dishonor the family: She will run away with a guy, she will have relations with a boy. So this is always the phobia that the families have," said Suha Bashren of Oxfam International.

 

 

 

Bashren calls the tradition of child brides in Yemen a national crisis. She works with young girls to protect them from early marriage, abuse and one of the highest maternal mortality rates in the world.

 

 

 

The Yemeni government is holding legal and religious workshops to try to deal with the issue of early marriage. But experts say marrying off a young daughter is generally still seen as the right thing to do.

 

 

 

"A lot of people in the public don't think that this is wrong or that what happened to her was abuse," Bashren said.

 

 

 

In Yemen, there is nothing new or extraordinary about Nujood's story because children have been married off for generations. The country's legal minimum age for marriage was 15 till a decade ago, when the law was changed to allow for children even younger to be wed.

 

 

 

But what is most unusual is that this young girl took such an intensely private dispute and went public with it.

 

 

 

Nujood said she made up her mind to escape from her husband, describing how on a visit to her parents' home she broke free and traveled to the central courthouse across town and demanded to speak to a judge.

 

 

 

"He asked me, 'What do you want?' And I said, 'I want a divorce.' And he said, 'You're married?' And I said, 'Yes,'" she recalled.

 

 

 

What unfolded in those few days in April gripped the country on the southern tip of the Arabian Peninsula.

 

 

 

Nujood got her divorce, but based on the principles of Islamic Sharia law, her husband was compensated, not prosecuted. Nujood was ordered to pay him more than $200. The human rights lawyer who represented her donated the money.

 

 

 

But for this determined spirit, it was still a sweet victory.

 

 

 

"I did this so that people would listen and think about not marrying their daughters off as young as I was," she said with a shy smile.

 

 

 

Now back at the family home, she said she won't go outside to play -- that all the attention bothers her. Some still condemn the young girl for speaking out, believing that she shouldn't have challenged convention.

 

 

 

Human rights advocates said it will take more than a generation if this practice is to change in Yemen for other children.

 

 

 

"These girls are living in a misery that no one is talking about," Oxfam's Bashren said.

 

 

 

 

I know it may be customary to have arranged marriages in Yemen but to a dude 3 times her age? What makes this story more enraging is that the 10 year old was ordered to pay HIM for divorcing? Call me ignorant, but other cultures are just immoral and wierd sometimes. And I don't care if its tradition, its still the parents' fault. And the husband. Your thoughts?

A 30 year old beating and raping his 10 year old wife is obviously absolutely disgusting, I'm not going to say it's not. However, I don't agree that it was the parents' fault. Parents wedding off their children is a part of their culture (I gather.. correct me if I'm wrong). To be honest, I don't think the face that the husband was 3 times her age makes that any worse, and it's not your place or my place to say their culture is immoral because of that. What the husband did was, undoubtably immoral, but I still don't think it's the parents' fault.

What the husband did was disgusting, I wouldn't blame the parents for this or the local culture / Sharia law. It's in their culture and normal over their to wed off their children early, it creates less of a financial burden for the already most likely impoverished parents. The only person I think the blame can be put on is the husband, quite disgusting that he would do such things to a 10 year old girl.

What the husband did was disgusting, I wouldn't blame the parents for this or the local culture / Sharia law. It's in their culture and normal over their to wed off their children early, it creates less of a financial burden for the already most likely impoverished parents. The only person I think the blame can be put on is the husband, quite disgusting that he would do such things to a 10 year old girl.

 

 

 

Huh? Political correctness is disgusting

What the husband did was disgusting, I wouldn't blame the parents for this or the local culture / Sharia law. It's in their culture and normal over their to wed off their children early, it creates less of a financial burden for the already most likely impoverished parents. The only person I think the blame can be put on is the husband, quite disgusting that he would do such things to a 10 year old girl.

 

 

 

Huh? Political correctness is disgusting

 

 

 

No, I said what the husband did was disgusting, beating and raping the 10 year old girl, the reason why I wouldn't blame the parents is it's in their culture for them to wed of their children early, not for the husband to beat the married girl.

Do you really think it's right for children to be wed off just because it's in their culture?

Do you really think it's right for children to be wed off just because it's in their culture?

 

 

 

That depends on the definition of marriage there. If the man takes care child without abusing her, what is wrong with it? If the parents let their daughter marry a strange men they probably are too poor to take care of the child themselves.

Don't kid yourself. We know the universal definition of marriage.

Like others have said, I wouldn't blame the parents. People have been doing things like that for years, who are they to challange that custom. Besides, in the article they said they are trying to change that. Blame can only be placed on the husband, beating and raping a 10 year old is sick.

Like others have said, I wouldn't blame the parents. People have been doing things like that for years, who are they to challange that custom. Besides, in the article they said they are trying to change that. Blame can only be placed on the husband, beating and raping a 10 year old is sick.

 

 

 

But it was her parents who forced her into the marriage... if it had been her choice, she wouldn't have got into that mess at all. I really admire her though, standing up for herself and trying to change things. That was a very brave thing to do, especially if it's common in her culture.

I have friends who live in the states whos parents had an arrenged wedding while they lived in India. Most of the arranged marriages end up successful and happy. It was no one but the abusive husband's fault that this happened. He went against his promise and should pay the consequence.

Don't kid yourself. We know the universal definition of marriage.

 

 

 

The universal meaning of marriage you say? Many cultures have a different view on what should happen in marriage, my uncle comes from Syria, things like that often happened in his hometown, girls being wedded early, not being beaten / raped by their husbands. When I asked today what is often expected of husbands in these young age relationships is that they wont have sex with the child till she is an adult. Instead he will provide a home, safety and financial security for her, in return he would expect a clean house and a meal ready when he comes home, when she becomes of age they will then have children. He said what happened in the article was disgusting and even having sex with your underage wive would be shunned upon in Sharia regions.

OH NO. This topic has the word rape in, soon turtlefemm will be here to lock it deeming it too mature content for tip.it to discuss intelligently!

 

I know i'm being hippocritical, however i'm still upset about the funny pictures thread and this "project offtopic" business.

OH NO. This topic has the word rape in, soon turtlefemm will be here to lock it deeming it too mature content for tip.it to discuss intelligently!

 

I know i'm being hippocritical, however i'm still upset about the funny pictures thread and this "project offtopic" business.

 

Here lies the difference, the posters here are having a well-thought conversation about under-age marriage, not posting explicit pictures for the sake of laughs. This is the kind of [mature] conversations we originally supported.

The fact of the matter is this: the husband not only did something dispicable by beating and raping a 10 year old girl, but by not keeping up his end of the marriage bargain, he should not have been paid said money. He has promised to not touch her until she was 20, and that is technically a breach of contract. I know it sounds a little odd to call it a "contract" but that's exactly what a marriage is, a contract.

 

 

 

As for the whole "universal" meaning of marriage, this is how marriage started out, arranged weddings for social and monetary gain. That's also how the dowry came into play, "I trade you my daughter for two goats and a chicken". Marriage, when it started, had absolutely NOTHING to do with love.

OH NO. This topic has the word rape in, soon turtlefemm will be here to lock it deeming it too mature content for tip.it to discuss intelligently!

 

I know i'm being hippocritical, however i'm still upset about the funny pictures thread and this "project offtopic" business.

 

 

 

So you have to go spamming up another topic to get your point across? There's already a topic for discussion about that.

 

 

 

A marriage between a ten year old girl and a thirty year old man, where the girl relies upon him for a home, safety and financial security until she comes of age... This may be OT but why not just call it adoption?

Don't kid yourself. We know the universal definition of marriage.

 

 

 

No such thing, marriage is different across cultures. In certain Native American cultures your dad is your mothers brother, not your biological dad. In a certain African culture, when you marry a women you are also married to her cousin. For the Aborigines, you are related to all the people born were you were born. There a hundreds and hundreds different definitions of marriage, don't make a statement on a topic you know nothing about.

 

 

 

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I see nothing wrong with their marriage rituals. The parents didn't wed her off for true love or for sex, they did it because they trusted that the girl would be in the care of the husband's family. Kind of like an obscure adoption ritual. Just because it seems odd to countries where marriage has a different definition, doesn't mean its immoral. I'm sure some countries are laughing that we condone gay marriage or marriage purely for sex, or marriages lasting for less than a year.

What the husband did was disgusting, I wouldn't blame the parents for this or the local culture / Sharia law. It's in their culture and normal over their to wed off their children early, it creates less of a financial burden for the already most likely impoverished parents. The only person I think the blame can be put on is the husband, quite disgusting that he would do such things to a 10 year old girl.

 

 

 

Huh? Political correctness is disgusting

 

 

 

No, I said what the husband did was disgusting, beating and raping the 10 year old girl, the reason why I wouldn't blame the parents is it's in their culture for them to wed of their children early, not for the husband to beat the married girl.

 

 

 

Do you really think it's right for children to be wed off just because it's in their culture?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm not sure you understand something here. Just because you believe something tobe "correct" or "morally right" in your mind, doesn't mean the rest of the world has to follow your ethics, or even an entire country's ethics. You happen to be brought up in a country where things such as marrying that young is first off illegal, and second off highly frowned upon. That doesn't mean that us as a country sets the standard, and anything different than that is wrong.

 

 

 

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Don't kid yourself. We know the universal definition of marriage.

 

 

 

 

 

No, you know your defenition of marriage. Once again, your standards don't set the standards for the rest of the world.

I see nothing wrong with their marriage rituals. The parents didn't wed her off for true love or for sex, they did it because they trusted that the girl would be in the care of the husband's family. Kind of like an obscure adoption ritual. Just because it seems odd to countries where marriage has a different definition, doesn't mean its immoral. I'm sure some countries are laughing that we condone gay marriage or marriage purely for sex, or marriages lasting for less than a year.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

this thread... way too moral. I bolded this part because, well I agree pretty much.

 

 

 

getting in Arab peoples face about their wife's face shroud doesnt seem to acceptable. Even some might claim they oppress their wives. But, sadly, we live in a culture where its not acceptable to step boundaries and claim such and such is wrong. Because if this was possible, wouldnt we ALL be labeled as misguided?

 

 

 

TBH, topic if much to filled of underage moral BS. Not enough sympathy talk.

I'm not sure you understand something here. Just because you believe something tobe "correct" or "morally right" in your mind, doesn't mean the rest of the world has to follow your ethics, or even an entire country's ethics. You happen to be brought up in a country where things such as marrying that young is first off illegal, and second off highly frowned upon. That doesn't mean that us as a country sets the standard, and anything different than that is wrong.

 

 

 

 

Yes, and some countries believe it's right to kill off homosexuals.

 

 

 

The fact is that some countries are stuck in the past and has developed slower than other countries. But even if they are of different culture, do you really deny that there's a line being crossed involving kids being wed off to adults? Maybe they don't have the scientific education to understand that children are just not capable to decide who they can marry (we're not even discussing the fact that the kids don't have the right to choose their partner).

 

 

 

Just because it's "their culture" doesn't make it right. Ignorance is never an excuse.

 

Yes, and some countries believe it's right to kill off homosexuals.

 

 

 

The fact is that some countries are stuck in the past and has developed slower than other countries. But even if they are of different culture, do you really deny that there's a line being crossed involving kids being wed off to adults? Maybe they don't have the scientific education to understand that children are just not capable to decide who they can marry (we're not even discussing the fact that the kids don't have the right to choose their partner).

 

 

 

Just because it's "their culture" doesn't make it right. Ignorance is never an excuse.

 

 

 

I have the personal belief that, aside from unprovoked murder, there is no universal right or wrong. Planned marriages aren't necessarily a bad thing. The past is not necessarily a bad thing.

 

 

 

Kids being married off to adults are not necessarily a bad thing. As long as the girl's parents manage to find a kind, loving husband who'll do his duties, it'll all turn out well. Remember that the article is about an extreme example.

 

 

 

Just because it's "their culture" doesn't make it right. Ignorance is never an excuse.

 

 

 

You could make that statement about any culture. Any different culture could make that statement about your culture. Here's a hypothetical statement: "Just because your culture believes it's wrong to kill homosexuals doesn't make it right." That last statement isn't my personal opinion, I was just playing Devil's Advocate.

 

 

 

Back on topic: The only fault I see in this case is with the husband, since I believe he shouldn't have sex with an underaged wife, shouldn't rape her, shouldn't beat her too much. The only thing "wrong" with the culture is a lack of accountability on the husband's part, and a lack of female rights in general.

Back on topic: The only fault I see in this case is with the husband, since I believe he shouldn't have sex with an underaged wife, shouldn't rape her, shouldn't beat her too much. The only thing "wrong" with the culture is a lack of accountability on the husband's part, and a lack of female rights in general.

 

 

 

shouldn't beat her too much? Are you sure you phrased that right? :?

 

 

 

As for the first bit in underlined... you say you think it's fine for parents to choose who girls spend the rest of their life with, who they're going to marry and have a family with? The girl herself said it - she didn't want to leave home. She was scared. It is ever right to take a young child away from her family if she doesnt want to go? Sure they may have financial problems but if it was me I'd rather be poor than homesick.

 

 

 

Just because you believe something to be "correct" or "morally right" in your mind, doesn't mean the rest of the world has to follow your ethics, or even an entire country's ethics.

 

 

 

As far as I'm concerned, while a moral 'code-of-conduct' may not be 100% universal all around the world, there are certainly some boundaries which should never be crossed. Some things will always be wrong, no matter which country, family, or community they happen in, and no amount of 'It's their culture!' will ever change that.

"Just because your culture believes it's wrong to kill homosexuals doesn't make it right."

 

 

 

Are you kidding me? :lol:

 

 

 

Let's put aside the fact that you just stated one of the most ignorant statements I've ever read in this forum.

 

 

 

Let's use some science instead? Children under 12 have not or just started puberty. They are not physically /mentally developed enough to handle a commitment such as marriage.I'm sorry that you really believe this way. Maybe you don't have a sister or a young female close to you, but from knowing such children, I don't believe they're capable of meeting those expectations. If you refuse or deny that being wed off at a young age isn't a primitive tradition, then there's no point in arguing. These people are stuck in the mentality that should've ceased to exist in the world hundreds if not thousands of years ago. Saying "it's okay" because they never developed/modernized due to their decision to stick with ancient mentality is pretty stupid.

 

 

 

I don't know if you had the chance to learn about sociology or science or things that deal with humanity, but that's what they are - knowledge for us. People that continue this tradition do not have the same privileges because their education system maybe non-existent, but it doesn't mean you have to condone their ignorance.

In the western world we learnt from a young age about equal rights. Our education shapes our morals. So we believe that a young girl marrying an older man to be wrong. On the other hand, the girl's family will never have been educated in the same way we have. Their morals have been shaped differently. They believed what they were doing was right. They didn't do it on a whim, they grew up with it happening as the norm. How anyone can blame parents who believe what they were doing was morally right because of the morals they have been taught.

 

 

 

I personally disagree with under age marriage such as this, but I am not going to blame a culture for being taught different morals to myself.