If it's an issue like that, why are you texting/chatting online versus talking in person or at least talking on the phone? It's SOOO easy to misinterpret things via reading it versus hearing it.

 

 

 

Many reasons.

 

 

 

For one, people don't phone all the time, when texting it allows you more thought over what you want to say before you reply, same wiht instant messaging.

 

 

 

Secondly, talking in person is not always possible unless they live very close. And as Deloria said, he has to drive to get to her.

 

 

 

Yes, I live nearly a half hour away from her so talking in person at 1am is difficult unless I'm spending the night at her house. We talk on the phone occasionally but we hang out often enough that it's almost not needed so we mainly talk via text/IM when we aren't together. Also we both obviously use cell phones often and have limited minutes as well as her parents don't want her on the phone after 10pm (although we do get away with it occasionally).

 

 

 

Though I do have slightly good news. She did text me for a few minutes after her last class before she went to workout. Somehow I doubt I'll be hearing from her again for the rest of the night because she's still in a terrible mood #-o

At least she's in a slightly better mood.

 

 

 

Give it a few more days and she should be (mostly) fine.

all i can say is "wow" :o

Though I do have slightly good news. She did text me for a few minutes after her last class before she went to workout. Somehow I doubt I'll be hearing from her again for the rest of the night because she's still in a terrible mood #-o

 

Buy her some chocolates laced with antidepressants?

 

 

 

Or you could work out with her sometime. Having someone to workout with seems to help some people (I'm sure there are people who like to be by themselves while they workout) lighten up get into a better mood. Of course, that might not be possible given the situation, but just suggesting a possibility.

Though I do have slightly good news. She did text me for a few minutes after her last class before she went to workout. Somehow I doubt I'll be hearing from her again for the rest of the night because she's still in a terrible mood #-o

 

Buy her some chocolates laced with antidepressants?

 

 

 

Or you could work out with her sometime. Having someone to workout with seems to help some people (I'm sure there are people who like to be by themselves while they workout) lighten up get into a better mood. Of course, that might not be possible given the situation, but just suggesting a possibility.

 

 

 

Yeah she wants me to start working out with her and I want to as well. I already have karate 2-3 times a week so we have to figure out what days we're going to. Today I don't think would have been the best time to start either lol.

Well looks like I need a little advice..

 

 

 

So last night I hung out with my girl and my best friend is now dating her sister. So we've walked in on them making out quite a few times, no big deal. But I guess last night my girl walked in on them going quite a bit farther than that, and they haven't been dating for even a month. So my girl called her sister a [bleep] for giving it up that easy and ended up fighting with my best friend for a while. He was a douche and brought up some stuff from the her past and basically accused her of cheating on me (which I know she's not). So I talked to her and tried to calm her down last night and it resulted in the two of us fighting. She basically said she doesn't want to hang out with me at all if my friend is gonna be there (because he usually rides over with me). Now I tried explaining that he has his own car and he'll get there with or without me, all it's going to do is drive us apart. I ended up doing 99% of the talking and eventually she just stopped talking to me altogether and got offline. Now I've always been so happy with the communication we've had with each other and how quickly we've been able to resolve problems but this one seems a little different. I got maybe 3 words out of her this morning and she's refusing to answer any of my texts since then (which she normally gets back to me almost immediately). It's so damn frustrating, I don't even know what to do. I think I should I just give up talking to her altogether and let her talk to me when she's ready. But it's so damn hard because she made me feel like she doesn't even care about me anymore with a few things she said last night, though she still claims to love me. Help me Tip.It..

 

 

 

The first part I want to address is how mature she is for stating that she still loves you while the both of you are fighting. I think that is very important to state that you love someone but are so angry you're not willing to talk at the moment in case some things get said that you didn't mean.

 

 

 

An example I'm going to use is the fact that my partner doesn't like one of my best friends, Stacey. Now she is a bit of a tart but she is my friend so I don't like Brent talking about her that way. She also has an abusive boyfriend whom we both hate and have no idea why she won't leave him but we are still civil around him, because it's her choice. And she thinks Brent is a bit of an [wagon], but I won't let her talk about Brent that way (especially because of who she is with! but I never say that). I think it's important to make it clear that both of them are very special in your life and you won't let one talk trash about the other. And say as an example that you won't talk trash about her best friend because you wouldn't want to put her in the circumstance of having an ultimatum.

 

 

 

Likewise, I can't stand Brent's best friend. I think he's an arrogant, snotty nosed know it all. To give an example of how bad he is, a customer once left a comment in his work suggestion box calling him an "arrogant c...t". He even had the nerve to tell Brent to go get a maternity test to see if our son is really his (which Brent gave him once chance to take the comment back or the friendship was over and he hesitantly did). But they have been friends since primary school. I can't come between them because that would be the wrong thing to do. Dan knows he won't get away with bad mouthing me and I know I can't get away with bad mouthing him. It's an equal playing field. When he is around we get along for the sake of Brent.

 

 

 

Tell her you love her, you're going to give her some space to think about things and when she's ready she can call or text you for a serious talk about it all. But you're not going to put up with an ultimatum. This person is still your best friend regardless of whether he screws up or not. And her sister is not going to pay attention to her if she resorts to name calling instead of having a mature discussion.

 

 

 

Over all, mature girl but needs to hold tongue in the heat of the moment and perhaps that is why she isn't speaking, because she is thinking. That and people can be civil around each other even though they don't like each other. It's time to learn it. I don't really enjoy the company of Brent's mum (she comes across really rude, abrupt and closed off) but it's not like I can tell him I never want to see her again and she's not allowed to come over. It would be selfish of me to put my own feelings before her relationship with Brent and her grandson.

 

 

 

Because when you love someone. You put up with their [bleep] friends and in laws ;)

Though I do have slightly good news. She did text me for a few minutes after her last class before she went to workout. Somehow I doubt I'll be hearing from her again for the rest of the night because she's still in a terrible mood #-o

 

Buy her some chocolates laced with antidepressants?

 

 

 

Or you could work out with her sometime. Having someone to workout with seems to help some people (I'm sure there are people who like to be by themselves while they workout) lighten up get into a better mood. Of course, that might not be possible given the situation, but just suggesting a possibility.

 

 

 

Yeah she wants me to start working out with her and I want to as well. I already have karate 2-3 times a week so we have to figure out what days we're going to. Today I don't think would have been the best time to start either lol.

 

I don't know what it is about working out with someone of the opposite sex (or even the same sex), but it builds a bond that's harder to form otherwise. It's also, of course, good motivation to stay in shape.

thanks for the quick and helpful responses Latios and Goddess. I guess i sort of my problems easier for myself by solving it by trying to communicate more with her. I try to talk with her in school but it simply isnt good enough. maybe in between class like Goddess suggested is good. I think that will get me her phone number but i would need more time...

 

 

 

so i heard so so she told me that she is facebooking a lot and i want to make a facebook because i feel that i guess its time for me to make myself one. I will go ahead and eventually do it. Getting friends on facebook isnt really a problem because she would probably me more then happy to accept me as a friend and i could generally get friends on facebook because in my school people are generally nice and considerate and wont really say no unless they really dont know u. my friends bash me too for not getting a facebook :oops:

 

 

 

so i will try to do this... i will post later though. the midterms in our school works like this: we have two classes per day and i had my classes with her the first day. during the exam we smiled at eachother and stuff... now i just dont see her too often...

 

 

 

again sorry to blabber but yea i will definitely try to communicate with her more.

 

 

 

another thing... i already told my friend about this and she said that our relationship might not work because she is busy with sports... like really busy... she is implying that she wont have time for me. im also busy too but can it be true that we wont have time for eachother. :?

 

 

 

if she likes me back im sure she will make time for me... well not really but i should be able to go out with her a couple of times. no matter i just want to be with her first thing and then ill think about the relationship. i have feelings for this girl because she is attractive and has a nice personality. and im not one of those slobs that is just looking for sex. although sex is always nice.

 

 

 

You already said that you and her are both very sports oriented. unless they're completely different sports, couldn't you practice together? You could workout with her...I mean it's not the most flattering of scenes...but you would be spending time together, and doing somethig you both enjoy.

 

 

 

 

I've got a bit of a puzzler for most of you here. There's this girl I like, she's cute, really nice, gives me hugs all the time, and all that nice stuff, we do stuff together, just one thing(or a few things): Her "internet friend". This guy lives about 12 hours away from here, in another state, and she apparently likes this guy even though they've never met in real life. Her mom seems to be pissed off at her since they've been exchanging naked pics, and all the drawn porn she has, so w/e. I really don't care about the fact they're trading pics or w/e, more or less how her mom handled it. On Friday, my friend and her mom got into an argument and it escalated to involving her getting a black eye and bruises. I talked to her the next morning, and she told me about the whole thing, since I told her I'd listen to her, no matter what. You don't [bleep] hit your kids, it's not reasonable. I'm not sure what to think. She's 16, and this guy is probably somewhere in his mid-20s. I don't want to involve social services though, since I'd probably never see her again. My friend and her mom don't have the best relationship in the world. I'd like to help out, and see about fixing this, but I'd probably be way in over my head. I really can't just sit around, since stuff will only get worse, but if I try to help, I might just make things worse.

 

 

 

All in all, I really have feelings for this girl, and I just don't want it to be ruined.

 

 

 

Dude. that's some serious stuff. You say you care about her, now the moral dilemna that you should make a big deal out of the abuse or not. Overlooking that aspect for a second...she trades naked pictures with a 20+ year old? Thats just f***ed up. Seriously, that's kind of messed up. Alot. If I were her mom, I would have hit her too. Not that I'm supporting child abuse. If I were you, I'd stay away from that chick...she's trouble. Unless you're into that kind of thing, in which case keep coming to her rescue and slowly she'll warm up to you. Judging by her behavior you may get a few naked pics within a week. Good stuff. Sorta. Hopefully you getting closer to her will keep her from persisting with this 20 year old creep.

 

 

 

Well looks like I need a little advice..

 

 

 

So last night I hung out with my girl and my best friend is now dating her sister. So we've walked in on them making out quite a few times, no big deal. But I guess last night my girl walked in on them going quite a bit farther than that, and they haven't been dating for even a month. So my girl called her sister a [bleep] for giving it up that easy and ended up fighting with my best friend for a while. He was a douche and brought up some stuff from the her past and basically accused her of cheating on me (which I know she's not). So I talked to her and tried to calm her down last night and it resulted in the two of us fighting. She basically said she doesn't want to hang out with me at all if my friend is gonna be there (because he usually rides over with me). Now I tried explaining that he has his own car and he'll get there with or without me, all it's going to do is drive us apart. I ended up doing 99% of the talking and eventually she just stopped talking to me altogether and got offline. Now I've always been so happy with the communication we've had with each other and how quickly we've been able to resolve problems but this one seems a little different. I got maybe 3 words out of her this morning and she's refusing to answer any of my texts since then (which she normally gets back to me almost immediately). It's so damn frustrating, I don't even know what to do. I think I should I just give up talking to her altogether and let her talk to me when she's ready. But it's so damn hard because she made me feel like she doesn't even care about me anymore with a few things she said last night, though she still claims to love me. Help me Tip.It..

 

 

 

Damn. That's a really big problem. But we're here to help. As you've said, she isn't talking to you. Slowly she'll return to do so. The first thing you'll probably talk about is as to why she reacted the way she did. I'm gonna say that it was the shock of seeing the loss of innocence of her young, pure little sister. This is a very traumatic event for older siblings. The image of her little sister was just shattered. She's gonna be acting a littel funny. I suggest you talk to her about it when she's ready and convince her that sh*t happens. She'll cool down eventually, but it may be another day or so. Depending on how long she can hold an emotion. For now respect her wishes and for the love of god don't argue with her. You may not want to make any sexual advances anytime in the imidiate future either.

so anyways back to my situation... tomorrow i will be having classes with her and i want to get her number but i want to do so in a fashion that doesnt make make me look like some freaker.

so anyways back to my situation... tomorrow i will be having classes with her and i want to get her number but i want to do so in a fashion that doesnt make make me look like some freaker.

 

I'm going to regurgitate every answer to this problem I've seen on this thread to save time.

 

 

 

1. Have Confidence!

 

2. Don't plan a conversation, planning causes failing

 

3. 3 second rule...if you see her and can mentally count to 3; you missed your chance.

 

4. Start with a simple hello

 

 

 

 

 

did I miss anything?

i do have confidence but i just dont want to be like hey can i have ur number... doenst that make me look like a creeper.

 

 

 

or start a conversation and just randomly ask for her number...

i do have confidence but i just dont want to be like hey can i have ur number... doenst that make me look like a creeper.

 

 

 

or start a conversation and just randomly ask for her number...

 

Well that's true, you definiatly don't wanna just walk up and ask "hey...can i have your number" (although I have personally seen that work on complete strangers numerous times surprisingly). I say just throw it in a casual conversation. Like when your talking in class and the teacher yells at you for talking, jsut tell her that you should "continue this discussion on the phone". Somewhere down the line numbers will be exchanged.

so anyways back to my situation... tomorrow i will be having classes with her and i want to get her number but i want to do so in a fashion that doesnt make make me look like some freaker.

 

 

 

Why do you need to call her? Use that. "Hey, just wondering.. I need to speak to you later about....[...]..... do you mind if I ask for your number?"

 

Damn. That's a really big problem. But we're here to help. As you've said, she isn't talking to you. Slowly she'll return to do so. The first thing you'll probably talk about is as to why she reacted the way she did. I'm gonna say that it was the shock of seeing the loss of innocence of her young, pure little sister. This is a very traumatic event for older siblings. The image of her little sister was just shattered. She's gonna be acting a littel funny. I suggest you talk to her about it when she's ready and convince her that sh*t happens. She'll cool down eventually, but it may be another day or so. Depending on how long she can hold an emotion. For now respect her wishes and for the love of god don't argue with her. You may not want to make any sexual advances anytime in the imidiate future either.

 

 

 

Well her little sister is only a few months younger than her and she knows her sister isn't totally innocent. I don't think it was the sexuality that made her flip out, I think it was the arguing with my friend that threw her over the edge. She texted me a bit earlier and we talked about it and I'm on the phone with her now. Our sexuality is pretty secure and I can pretty much tell when she's in the mood and whatnot. Obviously tonight would not be a good night for that lol.

Dunno, angry sex could be good :lol:

Man, if I had a penny for every time I've heard stories like that I'd have well...A PENNY!

 

I've NEVER in my life seen a girl that was like that, but I must say, sir, that I commend you for handling yourself so well. She probably does think that she can control you. Way to prove her wrong. If I had to rate you story 1-10 (10 high), I'd give it a 20.

 

 

 

Heh. It's a pretty common situation with some really uncommon twists, which is what makes it so difficult for me to decipher. Thanks for the support :D.

 

 

 

@ NoMoreDead

 

Well it seems as though she did make you laugh. :lol: (she's controlling you afterall). But seriously, it seems as though you found a new girl (congrats) and I wish you the best of luck in that field. Unfortunatly I see that the old girl is getting jealous (a solution to your first problem I don't even think I considered). I think you're handling it well for now, just keep ignoring her and such and eventually she'll back away from boredom. i wouldn't even grant her your attention. It may quicken the process. I'd like to thank you for the clear and detailed manner in which you presented your story. It made it much more fun to follow, and much easier to aid. :)

 

 

 

 

I doubt she'll ever get back to me, or want to get with me. I think she led me on without even considering my feelings. There's no reason to say stuff like "I think there's something good going on between us that could grow into something more" if you aren't ready for a relationship. She is immature and needs to learn a lesson. I hope that if she does want me to be with her, it puts her through hell and back.

 

 

 

About the clearness of my writings: Thanks :D. I just try to make sure I don't blur any details so that everyone can feel like they're living my situation and base their responses off of that. Hopefully I'll bring more of the same :).

 

 

 

I read all of it and here's my conclusion. Why the hell haven't you blocked her yet? She is acting like a complete immature b*tch and she's not even worth your time of day. Next time she asks "will you laugh with me now" say "HAHAHA actually I'm laughing AT you, you immature b*tch now [bleep] off." And if you really want pay back for playing with your self esteem add in "Oh and my girl is way prettier than you, I only wanted you for one thing. And it wasn't a relationship. You're not even relationship worthy! :D". And then BLOCK HER. Block her from EVERYTHING. Buy a new sim card, they cost like 2 dollars!! change your phone number, don't respond to any messages if she finds you. Completely ignore them. I'm so dumbfounded at how you're actually gullible enough to reply to her messages and keep her on your list. And now you have a new girl, you're still talking about her. Say GOODBYE! It's not hard.

 

 

 

First off I'd like to mention the fact that I lol'ed. Big time :D.

 

 

 

I wouldn't say I'm "gullible" for responding to her, though. It's just that when someone talks, I tend to feel like I have to respond. I don't like leaving things unsolved. However, if she says stuff like "LAUGH WITH ME!", then she's getting an instant "[My name] has logged off". She'll get the idea eventually, and perhaps further down the road I'll just stop responding all together.

 

 

 

Perhaps it's just the fact that I came off a long relationship and this is the first girl who openly admitted to me that she had a thing for me. That's what makes the situation different than any other I've had, I guess. It doesn't change the fact that as it stands today, I wish I'd never met her. At the same time, though, I think that I learned a valuable lesson, and my current course of action is working out for me.

 

 

 

Way to go. :thumbup: Basically, what happened is she is not used to guys not liking her. She cannot figure out why you don't like her anymore and wants your attention. Its a common girl thing. Just ignore her.

 

 

 

I'm having no problems not talking to her. I really just want her to fall out of my world, but she keeps rearing her head in.

 

 

 

-----------

 

 

 

My friend went off on the girl yesterday. I didn't ask him to, nor did I tell him to. He stuck up for me in and told her she was insane for missing out on someone like me. (Before you think this is a horrible idea, they have a past friendship that went horribly wrong, and she initiated the contact. His excuse for not wanting to talk to her was what she did to me.) I appreciated that, and I appreciate everyone who responds to these posts. They REALLY help me a lot, and the more responses I get, the clearer my situation becomes. I love reading everyone's insight on this. So thank you guys, and hopefully I'll continue to get such excellent responses.

lol I'm glad you got a laugh out of it but maybe the time has come in your life where you need to realize that not everything can be resolved. Even times when you try your hardest, they will not go how you expected them to. Something I learned a rather long time ago is if something doesn't seem to be improving, to not bother wasting energy on it. Instead of logging on and feeling let down by this girl maybe it's time to just block her, ignore her and experience no more put downs. Sometimes I have to block out everything and everyone else and realize the two most important people in my life are already with me. Any outside disturbances are just that, disturbances. In order for things to be resolved, sometimes they begin with you and finding satisfaction in an alternative method. For example on the Dr phil show a woman felt like there was something missing in her life, which happened to be a mother figure. Instead of looking for a mother or expecting things with her own mother to improve (which had been going on for years) she could find the same satisfaction by being what her mother never was. Perhaps instead of waiting for her to grow up, you are over looking someone who is already grown up, the girl you're already with who doesn't put you down. If you don't enjoy the put downs, I just don't understand why you leave her on your msn. Even if you don't reply and log off, you're still affected by the comment. Is there a reason that you somehow feel you deserve this kind of behaviour directed towards you?

I know it shouldn't be the case, but I feel so awkward talking to [her] brother/sister.

 

Her sister's a lot more outgoing, and has a boyfriend(yet she's only 14). Her brother is a uni student who is also an internet addict who spends time on IRC. Obviously he enjoyed my gift of a flexible keyboard.

 

Sure it's a good thing her family likes me, but it's a bit awkward, y'know? Her brother/sister talks to me more than she talks to me. She always seems so quiet.... I'm not sure there's much anyone can say on this in terms of suggestions. I just felt like sharing that, I think. >_>

lol I still feel awkward in front of Brent's parents. Some people you feel comfortable being around and others you just don't seem to connect no matter how hard you try.

It always about winning their trust, its prooving your trust, and i know i didnt spell proove correctly then....

 

 

 

My girlfriend's parents/brother i won their respect be being me, not acting like a toss and just enoying myself with them, sure they wont let me stay the night because fathers (naturally) are over protective of their daughter (despite being 18, though she's allowed here strangly enough). JUst show her, your a nice, fun guy to be around with, sometimes you dont even know your in a relationship, trying to make it obvious (or start with ALOT of effort) can cause stress between both and be bad.

i do have confidence but i just dont want to be like hey can i have ur number... doenst that make me look like a creeper.

 

 

 

or start a conversation and just randomly ask for her number...

 

 

 

Well, I'd like to start helping out on this thread as well :

 

 

 

What I would do in this situation is walk up to her and instead of asking for her number, give her yours, and tell her that if she want's to continue talking, to text you or call you. (I'd start off with texting.)

 

 

 

This way you can tell if she's interested as well, start off with a common thing though, say you're taking a survey of kids who have cell phones, and ask her if she has one *don't come off creepy and know she has one, even though most teens do, she might think you've watched her use it or something. Then expand on the "survey" you're taking, and say, does your phone have texting, and things like that, but don't make it obvious, also ask random things about her phone, does she have a case for it, does it have a good camera, etc.

 

 

 

If she seems interested in you by the end of your conversation you could easily just play it smooth and say, to conclude this survey I'll have to ask for your number.

Rather than do what Joe says, ask yourself this:

 

 

 

How well do you know her?

I'm assuming they've talked more then a couple times, since they are after all in the same class..

How do I convince a girl that I absolutely do NOT want to go out with them etc?

 

This is a person who all the boys seem to fancy, ironically that makes me one of the only people who doesn't. It does seem like a pretty simple answer, just to tell her i'm not interested, but that isn't working. How would I go about killing off the rumors flying about at the moment?

To kill rumors, spread rumors.