well he doesnt talk to her but he's like a 3rd party lurker of some sort. he still has feelings but wont try to talk to her or move on. you could say hes stuck in a limbo. (which usually involves me hitting him with an object to nap him out of it)

 

 

 

That sounds like a good thing though. Yeah he's sad, he's lurking a little but it isn't really problematic unless he is constantly talking about her, begging her back, making himself look like a tool, declaring his love for her, trying to contact this guy in Canada etc It could be so much worse. If he's been with her for a year and this is all he's doing then I think he is doing really well, minus the alcohol theory. The fact that he still has feelings but won't try to talk to her, says to me that he is trying to accept it and move on. But it's just difficult at the moment. Overall I think he is doing okay. However, he is your mate and you know him better than I do, I can only comment on the information you've provided me with.

 

 

 

Aww c'mmon help me , tommorow is school :s , I want to have talked to her before the 14th or something :P , if she likes me (probally :mrgreen: ) then she might accept going to the cinema on the 14th.

 

 

 

I have no idea what kind of help you're asking for. YOU NEED TO TALK TO HER! It's like you expect someone to have some kind of magical solution to implant the idea in her head that she needs to be alone and brew up a confidence potion. The only way you're going to get her to speak to you and build your confidence is by taking risks in life.

I, the master of relationships, shall help you this one time.

 

 

 

Is she currently in a relationship? If so, just get as close to her as you can without hinting anything to her boyfriend.

 

 

 

If she is not currently in a relationship, slowly but surely begin to get flirtatious.

 

 

 

How many classes do you have with her per week? Try to sit near her in most classes. Preferably right next to.

 

 

 

Most of all, don't be an [wagon]. Don't swear, don't talk like a gangster(seriously guys, it's not cool) and don't try to move in too fast.

Aww c'mmon help me , tommorow is school :s , I want to have talked to her before the 14th or something :P , if she likes me (probally :mrgreen: ) then she might accept going to the cinema on the 14th.

 

 

 

I have no idea what kind of help you're asking for. YOU NEED TO TALK TO HER! It's like you expect someone to have some kind of magical solution to implant the idea in her head that she needs to be alone and brew up a confidence potion. The only way you're going to get her to speak to you and build your confidence is by taking risks in life.

 

 

 

LOL ,

 

 

 

no I mean how am I going to her ? say hello I like you :geek: ?

Start with a simple "Hi. *smile*"

LOL ,

 

 

 

no I mean how am I going to her ? say hello I like you

 

 

 

Common grounds and why she remembers you. "Hey..... how's it going? It's.... from facebook. How's the dancing going?" and go from there.

 

 

 

When I speak to people and they ask how I'm doing I usually reply with "Fantastic! And getting better, and you?" People always remember me as the person who is "fantastic and getting better" because it's positive, and they want to know more about me and why I'm feeling so fantastic. How many people do you know who say that? Oh and smile when you talk to people or they'll think you're interrogating them. You could also slip in a compliment "Oh you're looking lovely today" etc, people respond positively and are more inclined to answer your questions. But don't be fake, mean it.

Thanks godness i didn't tought about that.

 

 

 

 

 

Start with a simple "Hi. *smile*"

 

 

 

She's not in my class so i can't sit around her or something + she's free

 

 

 

Me: Hi*smile*

 

She:Oh hi *smiles back*

 

Me: ..

I, the master of relationships, shall help you this one time.

 

 

I lol'd.

 

 

 

First Step: NEVER PLAN A DISCUSSION!!

 

 

 

Throw yourself at her (not physically) show your confidence. after greetings just go along with basic things.

 

"Im Blah"

 

"So what are you into?"

 

"Do you like this school?" or whatever you peeps say. (i was never a question guy)

 

 

 

just basic questions to know her hobbies, personality and what not. you must always back a statement with confidence and truth as Goddess said though, shows your inclined about her and/or want to know her more.

 

 

 

:arrow: For Further Instructions, Press 1 on the Phone Now.

I, the master of relationships, shall help you this one time.

 

 

I lol'd.

 

 

 

First Step: NEVER PLAN A DISCUSSION!!

 

 

 

Throw yourself at her (not physically) show your confidence. after greetings just go along with basic things.

 

"Im Blah"

 

"So what are you into?"

 

"Do you like this school?" or whatever you peeps say. (i was never a question guy)

 

 

 

just basic questions to know her hobbies, personality and what not. you must always back a statement with confidence and truth as Goddess said though, shows your inclined about her and/or want to know her more.

 

 

 

:arrow: For Further Instructions, Press 1 on the Phone Now.

 

My phone doesn't have a "1" button. :(

Normally i don't have that much problems , i just trow me to them :mrgreen:

 

But that's mostly in a dancing or something , but I don't want my reputation to fall down xD

 

 

 

*presses red button of phone*

I likedhow you included that you're from Belgium as if it made a difference on disscusion topics :lol:

 

 

 

Actually, it makes a huge difference, as it determines what kind of activities you can do with peopl, and what ages you can legally do stuff (hence why I couldn't go and hang with a girl in the snow, as there is none here.... we call it water too)

 

 

 

fubol, don't be too worried, I like a girl who has a very conservative mother, who reads her convos, and uses her MSN and MySpace pretending to be her (also the girl isn't on much, only get to see her once a week)

I likedhow you included that you're from Belgium as if it made a difference on disscusion topics :lol:

 

 

 

Actually, it makes a huge difference, as it determines what kind of activities you can do with peopl, and what ages you can legally do stuff (hence why I couldn't go and hang with a girl in the snow, as there is none here.... we call it water too)

 

 

 

fubol, don't be too worried, I like a girl who has a very conservative mother, who reads her convos, and uses her MSN and MySpace pretending to be her (also the girl isn't on much, only get to see her once a week)

 

Another difference, stuff like 'hey, how are you?' sounds really silly in Dutch. Advice usually sounds really good on here but in Dutch it just doesn't really work out :P

Hmm.

 

 

 

How can I tell if a girl I spend a fair amount of time with but rarely talk to likes me?

Depends on how she acts around you.

 

 

 

Try talking to her more for one.

Hmm.

 

 

 

How can I tell if a girl I spend a fair amount of time with but rarely talk to likes me?

 

 

 

well she recognizes your existence, which is a start lol

 

But as sworddude said, you gotta initiate some conversation with her. When she starts laughing a lot or being flirty, then it's a :thumbup:

My God, this really needs to be put all over the first page and the top of every subsequent page.

 

 

 

CONFIDENCE Difficult? Maybe at first. Complicated? Ya'll are a relatively intelligent group, so I'd hope not.

 

 

 

Hmm.

 

 

 

How can I tell if a girl I spend a fair amount of time with but rarely talk to likes me?

 

 

 

well she recognizes your existence, which is a start lol

 

Wow. Why don't you just [bleep]slap him.

Final word on this story...

 

 

 

[hide=]Here's an interesting story about my life that is developing as I write this:

 

 

 

BACKGROUND:

 

I met a girl a couple weeks ago. She is 16, I'm 18. She and I hit it off pretty quickly, but she frequently made and then canceled plans for the first week I knew her. I would ask her to come hang out with me, and she would agree. The next day she would pretty much ditch out on me to do something more interesting. FINALLY, she stuck to a plan, and her friend (whom I have known for a while now) came along with us. We had a blast. Everything went great. She and I flirted quite a bit and we "cuddled" for a bit.

 

 

 

I shared a couple of feelings with her. I told her that there is definitely something good going on between us, and she agreed that she had a feeling or two for me. I told her I hoped I would see her again soon. She was enthusiastic about it.

 

 

 

SIDE NOTE: She mentioned that she was still unhappy about the relationship she currently has with her ex-boyfriend. She feels like she is always judging her, and she said that she was "comfortable with being unhappy". I told her that she should continue to come out with me, and I'll show her a good time, without pressuring her into dating me.

 

 

 

That was five days ago. Three days ago, her and I went out on a casual affair. We took a drive, I bought her some food, and we went on a two hour drive. We listened to music and talked, both seriously and jokingly. The feelings conversation was brought back up. She mentioned that she really didn't want to tell me anything about her feelings. She said she wasn't ready to share anything with me. I pressed the issue a bit, but gave it up pretty quickly. I wanted to know how she felt really badly, but I stopped myself. I changed the conversation as soon as possible and the night went on.

 

 

 

Now here's where I trip up. She went down to visit a college with her friend and her friends mom. I know she has a really good guy friend down there, but I seriously doubt anything went on between them.

 

 

 

Today she came back and didn't want to talk to me about anything, or so she said. I said (Via a text message) "maybe I'll call you later" and she agreed that this could happen. Eventually she texted me again, and a conversation ensued. Somehow, some way, she brought up the feelings thing again. She told me I'd "never understand" and that she "couldn't explain" even though she said she wanted to. I instantly started thinking she did something with another guy, but that idea was quickly disposed as I looked into it a little bit. However, that thought still somewhat lingers in my head.

 

 

 

She begins to tell me how she doesn't want anything in terms of a relationship. She doesn't want to talk about it. I don't know where this came from because I didn't even bring it up, but nonetheless it happened. Our relationship went straight into the can. Somehow it got to the point where she didn't even want to continue talking to me. She did, though.

 

 

 

This "situation" ended with me telling her the following: "Oh. One more thing. Did you lie when you said that there was something good between us?" She simply said: "No".

 

 

 

I also said something like: "I wish you would just give me a chance"

 

 

 

Her response was: "I want to, but I just can't. I'm sorry. I want to explain it but I can't."

 

 

 

I said: "Don't be sorry. Just be you. I like you for you. I'll be here when you realize that being happy is worth taking chances with your emotions."

 

 

 

She sent something back, but I had said what I wanted to leave her with. No communication since. This was about three hours before this post.

 

 

 

-------------------------------------------

 

 

 

So, here's my question folks: What the HELL is going on here? My brother, who is 25 years of age, and has had countless tumultuous relationships has told me the following:

 

 

 

She's basically playing the drama card. This is what you need to do: Listen to her, and don't engage in any communication with her. Don't ignore her, but DON'T START ANYTHING. In two weeks, one of two things will happen:

 

 

 

1: Nothing. She could be trying to get with another guy and doesn't want you in the picture. You'd just have to move on with your life. It's not a big loss, really.

 

 

 

2: She will send you a text, or call you asking why you haven't said anything to her lately. All you've got to say is "That's what you told me to do."

 

 

 

He said #2 is usually what happens. To me, sounds like what will probably happen. I'm pretty sure this is her course of action. She just doesn't have her emotions in check, so she's pushing me away.

 

 

 

What do you folks think. Does the above seem to be correct? Would I be wise to follow my brothers course of action?[/hide]

 

 

 

It all ended a couple days ago, but I'm just getting around to writing about it.

 

 

 

I played the waiting game in accordance with most of the advice I received. She ended up being completely emotionally immature.

 

 

 

She texted me (about a week ago) asking if me if I hated her. I responded with no. Conversation stopped mostly until a couple days later where she facebook messaged me (Using the Facebook IM chat). She kept telling me that I shouldn't be upset about the situation. I told her I wasn't heartbroken or anything, just a little upset that I was led on and then denied. She told me to laugh with her. This sentence changed everything.

 

 

 

I refused to laugh. "C'mon. Laugh!" she would say to me. I saw nothing funny in the conversation. For the next ten minutes I was bombarded with her pleas at laughter. I constantly refused. Then, I started getting annoyed by it, so I told her the following: "You're not messing (I used a swear word there) with someone without self esteem. You can't push me around. You don't know what you're dealing with here. You can't control me. I'm not your anything."

 

 

 

I told her I was going out with friends, and she proceeded to ask me if my friends were imaginary. A low blow at best, but I wasn't phased. I enjoyed the fact that the tables had turned, and that I was now completely content with being without her.

 

 

 

As it stands today, I still get random messages from her. Today, the whole "Will you laugh with me now?!" started again. I told her I just don't care for her crap and signed off the messenger.

 

 

 

I'm getting involved with another girl now, and she ("she" being the first girl, not the new one) doesn't seem pleased about it. Jealousy? She asked me why I was "talking to some ugly girl" today. I responded: "Hm. Some ugly girl? Don't know her. Sorry." She said that her and her friend had a good laugh about it (presumably at my expense), and the laughing conversation started up again. Again, I logged off.

 

 

 

It seems to me she really wants my attention but can't suck it up and admit that she was wrong about me. Her only way out is to try to make me feel insecure about myself (something which just isn't going to happen). What to do? I'm trying to get her out of my life. One of my best friends even IM'ed her something like: "You're insane. Stop messaging [My Name]. You're not going to "get" to him. You're not going to make him feel bad. Quit being a little girl about this. He's better than you think. WAY better."

 

 

 

So, my question is: Is she super jealous of the fact that I've moved on to someone else already? Does she really expect me to talk to her like I would have two weeks ago when I liked her? Does she really think she can control me?

 

 

 

This is all laughable to me. I'd just like some more outside input :D.

NoMoreDead, kudos to you! You did it and you did well. Yes, she probably is very pissed off right now and very jealous, and she's obviously at a loss what to do, so she resorts to really stupid methods such as dissing the girl you're hanging out with now. (Man, she still has to learn a lot in the area of the powers of She...) Leave her be, keep reacting the way you are now: honest, clear but never malicious (very important), and she'll catch on eventually. Do be careful though, the more you refuse her, the more obsessed she might become with trying to get to you. In the end, she'll either learn from the experience and grow up a bit, or she'll find herself a new victim to re-boost her self-esteem.

My God, this really needs to be put all over the first page and the top of every subsequent page.

 

 

 

CONFIDENCE Difficult? Maybe at first. Complicated? Ya'll are a relatively intelligent group, so I'd hope not.

 

 

 

Hmm.

 

 

 

How can I tell if a girl I spend a fair amount of time with but rarely talk to likes me?

 

 

 

well she recognizes your existence, which is a start lol

 

Wow. Why don't you just [bleep] him.

 

We need a Chasity Belt, a Binding Spell and a Mute Stick for you, all Dal did was give some simple advice and reconition its not like this is a battle of Relationships. :| (Against each other anyway)

Teach me to make all kinds of friends.

Teach me to make all kinds of friends.

 

 

 

Start smoking - You will hang out with the smokers.

 

Start drinking - You will hang out with the drinkers.

 

Find a hobby and you will find the people whom do the same thing.

 

Start gaming and you will hang out with gamers.

 

 

 

Its all about your interests.

We need a Chasity Belt, a Binding Spell and a Mute Stick for you, all Dal did was give some simple advice and reconition its not like this is a battle of Relationships. :| (Against each other anyway)

 

I didn't realize that word was censored. It's not the one you're thinking of, unless you're thinking of b*slap.

 

 

 

Teach me to make all kinds of friends.

 

 

 

Start drinking - You will hang out with the drinkers.

 

 

 

Its all about your interests.

 

I don't like the way you phrased that :-s . (Fair points nonetheless)

 

 

 

You want to make friends? Don't try so hard. Just... get to know people, be interested in them, not them being interested in you. If a relationship forms, sweet, nice. If one doesn't... oh well. Wasn't meant to be.

Teach me to make all kinds of friends.

 

 

 

Start smoking - You will hang out with the smokers.

 

Start drinking - You will hang out with the drinkers.

 

Find a hobby and you will find the people whom do the same thing.

 

Start gaming and you will hang out with gamers.

 

 

 

Its all about your interests.

 

And if that doesn't work, try all 3 at once. :thumbsup: But yeah, it really comes down to common interests and taking advantages of opportunities when they present themselves.

 

 

 

In high school it was kinda tough for me to make what I'd consider good friends (I had plenty of friends but mostly just inside of school) because I was really into sports and really into some nerdy stuff as well, and those two interests formed two very different groups of people. But once I got to college, it was a LOT easier to become closer friends with each of the different groups - mainly because the college is so much bigger than my high school and people really don't pay attention to who you hang out with, unless you're hanging out with them at the time. Another reason is that college kids are slightly more mature (I say slightly because you still have your fair share of immaturity) so they respect others more.

 

 

 

Also, and this is my opinion so you can do with it what you want, ignore the fallacy of "if someone makes fun of you for who you hang out with, they aren't worth having as a friend so just don't care what they think" because everyone has their flaws and it's not only the 'jocks' who pick on the 'nerds', seeing as how most of my 'nerd' friends do say pretty harsh things about the 'jocks' (granted, it usually is INITIATED by the 'jocks', but still). Even now when I go back and visit my friends from high school (during breaks/summer), I'll get asked "why do you hang out with such and such?" all the time and I usually tell them something along the lines of "because you won't play [sport] with me" (for my nerdy friends :P) and "when was the last time you played [old people cards game] with me?" (for my arrogant friends who like sports :P)

Final word on this story...

 

 

 

[hide=]Here's an interesting story about my life that is developing as I write this:

 

 

 

BACKGROUND:

 

I met a girl a couple weeks ago. She is 16, I'm 18. She and I hit it off pretty quickly, but she frequently made and then canceled plans for the first week I knew her. I would ask her to come hang out with me, and she would agree. The next day she would pretty much ditch out on me to do something more interesting. FINALLY, she stuck to a plan, and her friend (whom I have known for a while now) came along with us. We had a blast. Everything went great. She and I flirted quite a bit and we "cuddled" for a bit.

 

 

 

I shared a couple of feelings with her. I told her that there is definitely something good going on between us, and she agreed that she had a feeling or two for me. I told her I hoped I would see her again soon. She was enthusiastic about it.

 

 

 

SIDE NOTE: She mentioned that she was still unhappy about the relationship she currently has with her ex-boyfriend. She feels like she is always judging her, and she said that she was "comfortable with being unhappy". I told her that she should continue to come out with me, and I'll show her a good time, without pressuring her into dating me.

 

 

 

That was five days ago. Three days ago, her and I went out on a casual affair. We took a drive, I bought her some food, and we went on a two hour drive. We listened to music and talked, both seriously and jokingly. The feelings conversation was brought back up. She mentioned that she really didn't want to tell me anything about her feelings. She said she wasn't ready to share anything with me. I pressed the issue a bit, but gave it up pretty quickly. I wanted to know how she felt really badly, but I stopped myself. I changed the conversation as soon as possible and the night went on.

 

 

 

Now here's where I trip up. She went down to visit a college with her friend and her friends mom. I know she has a really good guy friend down there, but I seriously doubt anything went on between them.

 

 

 

Today she came back and didn't want to talk to me about anything, or so she said. I said (Via a text message) "maybe I'll call you later" and she agreed that this could happen. Eventually she texted me again, and a conversation ensued. Somehow, some way, she brought up the feelings thing again. She told me I'd "never understand" and that she "couldn't explain" even though she said she wanted to. I instantly started thinking she did something with another guy, but that idea was quickly disposed as I looked into it a little bit. However, that thought still somewhat lingers in my head.

 

 

 

She begins to tell me how she doesn't want anything in terms of a relationship. She doesn't want to talk about it. I don't know where this came from because I didn't even bring it up, but nonetheless it happened. Our relationship went straight into the can. Somehow it got to the point where she didn't even want to continue talking to me. She did, though.

 

 

 

This "situation" ended with me telling her the following: "Oh. One more thing. Did you lie when you said that there was something good between us?" She simply said: "No".

 

 

 

I also said something like: "I wish you would just give me a chance"

 

 

 

Her response was: "I want to, but I just can't. I'm sorry. I want to explain it but I can't."

 

 

 

I said: "Don't be sorry. Just be you. I like you for you. I'll be here when you realize that being happy is worth taking chances with your emotions."

 

 

 

She sent something back, but I had said what I wanted to leave her with. No communication since. This was about three hours before this post.

 

 

 

-------------------------------------------

 

 

 

So, here's my question folks: What the HELL is going on here? My brother, who is 25 years of age, and has had countless tumultuous relationships has told me the following:

 

 

 

She's basically playing the drama card. This is what you need to do: Listen to her, and don't engage in any communication with her. Don't ignore her, but DON'T START ANYTHING. In two weeks, one of two things will happen:

 

 

 

1: Nothing. She could be trying to get with another guy and doesn't want you in the picture. You'd just have to move on with your life. It's not a big loss, really.

 

 

 

2: She will send you a text, or call you asking why you haven't said anything to her lately. All you've got to say is "That's what you told me to do."

 

 

 

He said #2 is usually what happens. To me, sounds like what will probably happen. I'm pretty sure this is her course of action. She just doesn't have her emotions in check, so she's pushing me away.

 

 

 

What do you folks think. Does the above seem to be correct? Would I be wise to follow my brothers course of action?[/hide]

 

 

 

It all ended a couple days ago, but I'm just getting around to writing about it.

 

 

 

I played the waiting game in accordance with most of the advice I received. She ended up being completely emotionally immature.

 

 

 

She texted me (about a week ago) asking if me if I hated her. I responded with no. Conversation stopped mostly until a couple days later where she facebook messaged me (Using the Facebook IM chat). She kept telling me that I shouldn't be upset about the situation. I told her I wasn't heartbroken or anything, just a little upset that I was led on and then denied. She told me to laugh with her. This sentence changed everything.

 

 

 

I refused to laugh. "C'mon. Laugh!" she would say to me. I saw nothing funny in the conversation. For the next ten minutes I was bombarded with her pleas at laughter. I constantly refused. Then, I started getting annoyed by it, so I told her the following: "You're not messing (I used a swear word there) with someone without self esteem. You can't push me around. You don't know what you're dealing with here. You can't control me. I'm not your anything."

 

 

 

I told her I was going out with friends, and she proceeded to ask me if my friends were imaginary. A low blow at best, but I wasn't phased. I enjoyed the fact that the tables had turned, and that I was now completely content with being without her.

 

 

 

As it stands today, I still get random messages from her. Today, the whole "Will you laugh with me now?!" started again. I told her I just don't care for her crap and signed off the messenger.

 

 

 

I'm getting involved with another girl now, and she ("she" being the first girl, not the new one) doesn't seem pleased about it. Jealousy? She asked me why I was "talking to some ugly girl" today. I responded: "Hm. Some ugly girl? Don't know her. Sorry." She said that her and her friend had a good laugh about it (presumably at my expense), and the laughing conversation started up again. Again, I logged off.

 

 

 

It seems to me she really wants my attention but can't suck it up and admit that she was wrong about me. Her only way out is to try to make me feel insecure about myself (something which just isn't going to happen). What to do? I'm trying to get her out of my life. One of my best friends even IM'ed her something like: "You're insane. Stop messaging [My Name]. You're not going to "get" to him. You're not going to make him feel bad. Quit being a little girl about this. He's better than you think. WAY better."

 

 

 

So, my question is: Is she super jealous of the fact that I've moved on to someone else already? Does she really expect me to talk to her like I would have two weeks ago when I liked her? Does she really think she can control me?

 

 

 

This is all laughable to me. I'd just like some more outside input :D.

 

Man, if I had a penny for every time I've heard stories like that I'd have well...A PENNY!

 

I've NEVER in my life seen a girl that was like that, but I must say, sir, that I commend you for handling yourself so well. She probably does think that she can control you. Way to prove her wrong. If I had to rate you story 1-10 (10 high), I'd give it a 20.

How old is she? Because that sounds like a typical 13-year-old highschool girl's immaturity.

@ NoMoreDead

 

Final word on this story...

 

 

 

[hide=]Here's an interesting story about my life that is developing as I write this:

 

 

 

BACKGROUND:

 

I met a girl a couple weeks ago. She is 16, I'm 18. She and I hit it off pretty quickly, but she frequently made and then canceled plans for the first week I knew her. I would ask her to come hang out with me, and she would agree. The next day she would pretty much ditch out on me to do something more interesting. FINALLY, she stuck to a plan, and her friend (whom I have known for a while now) came along with us. We had a blast. Everything went great. She and I flirted quite a bit and we "cuddled" for a bit.

 

 

 

I shared a couple of feelings with her. I told her that there is definitely something good going on between us, and she agreed that she had a feeling or two for me. I told her I hoped I would see her again soon. She was enthusiastic about it.

 

 

 

SIDE NOTE: She mentioned that she was still unhappy about the relationship she currently has with her ex-boyfriend. She feels like she is always judging her, and she said that she was "comfortable with being unhappy". I told her that she should continue to come out with me, and I'll show her a good time, without pressuring her into dating me.

 

 

 

That was five days ago. Three days ago, her and I went out on a casual affair. We took a drive, I bought her some food, and we went on a two hour drive. We listened to music and talked, both seriously and jokingly. The feelings conversation was brought back up. She mentioned that she really didn't want to tell me anything about her feelings. She said she wasn't ready to share anything with me. I pressed the issue a bit, but gave it up pretty quickly. I wanted to know how she felt really badly, but I stopped myself. I changed the conversation as soon as possible and the night went on.

 

 

 

Now here's where I trip up. She went down to visit a college with her friend and her friends mom. I know she has a really good guy friend down there, but I seriously doubt anything went on between them.

 

 

 

Today she came back and didn't want to talk to me about anything, or so she said. I said (Via a text message) "maybe I'll call you later" and she agreed that this could happen. Eventually she texted me again, and a conversation ensued. Somehow, some way, she brought up the feelings thing again. She told me I'd "never understand" and that she "couldn't explain" even though she said she wanted to. I instantly started thinking she did something with another guy, but that idea was quickly disposed as I looked into it a little bit. However, that thought still somewhat lingers in my head.

 

 

 

She begins to tell me how she doesn't want anything in terms of a relationship. She doesn't want to talk about it. I don't know where this came from because I didn't even bring it up, but nonetheless it happened. Our relationship went straight into the can. Somehow it got to the point where she didn't even want to continue talking to me. She did, though.

 

 

 

This "situation" ended with me telling her the following: "Oh. One more thing. Did you lie when you said that there was something good between us?" She simply said: "No".

 

 

 

I also said something like: "I wish you would just give me a chance"

 

 

 

Her response was: "I want to, but I just can't. I'm sorry. I want to explain it but I can't."

 

 

 

I said: "Don't be sorry. Just be you. I like you for you. I'll be here when you realize that being happy is worth taking chances with your emotions."

 

 

 

She sent something back, but I had said what I wanted to leave her with. No communication since. This was about three hours before this post.

 

 

 

-------------------------------------------

 

 

 

So, here's my question folks: What the HELL is going on here? My brother, who is 25 years of age, and has had countless tumultuous relationships has told me the following:

 

 

 

She's basically playing the drama card. This is what you need to do: Listen to her, and don't engage in any communication with her. Don't ignore her, but DON'T START ANYTHING. In two weeks, one of two things will happen:

 

 

 

1: Nothing. She could be trying to get with another guy and doesn't want you in the picture. You'd just have to move on with your life. It's not a big loss, really.

 

 

 

2: She will send you a text, or call you asking why you haven't said anything to her lately. All you've got to say is "That's what you told me to do."

 

 

 

He said #2 is usually what happens. To me, sounds like what will probably happen. I'm pretty sure this is her course of action. She just doesn't have her emotions in check, so she's pushing me away.

 

 

 

What do you folks think. Does the above seem to be correct? Would I be wise to follow my brothers course of action?[/hide]

 

 

 

[hide=]It all ended a couple days ago, but I'm just getting around to writing about it.

 

 

 

I played the waiting game in accordance with most of the advice I received. She ended up being completely emotionally immature.

 

 

 

She texted me (about a week ago) asking if me if I hated her. I responded with no. Conversation stopped mostly until a couple days later where she facebook messaged me (Using the Facebook IM chat). She kept telling me that I shouldn't be upset about the situation. I told her I wasn't heartbroken or anything, just a little upset that I was led on and then denied. She told me to laugh with her. This sentence changed everything.

 

 

 

I refused to laugh. "C'mon. Laugh!" she would say to me. I saw nothing funny in the conversation. For the next ten minutes I was bombarded with her pleas at laughter. I constantly refused. Then, I started getting annoyed by it, so I told her the following: "You're not messing (I used a swear word there) with someone without self esteem. You can't push me around. You don't know what you're dealing with here. You can't control me. I'm not your anything."

 

 

 

I told her I was going out with friends, and she proceeded to ask me if my friends were imaginary. A low blow at best, but I wasn't phased. I enjoyed the fact that the tables had turned, and that I was now completely content with being without her.

 

 

 

As it stands today, I still get random messages from her. Today, the whole "Will you laugh with me now?!" started again. I told her I just don't care for her crap and signed off the messenger.

 

 

 

I'm getting involved with another girl now, and she ("she" being the first girl, not the new one) doesn't seem pleased about it. Jealousy? She asked me why I was "talking to some ugly girl" today. I responded: "Hm. Some ugly girl? Don't know her. Sorry." She said that her and her friend had a good laugh about it (presumably at my expense), and the laughing conversation started up again. Again, I logged off.

 

 

 

It seems to me she really wants my attention but can't suck it up and admit that she was wrong about me. Her only way out is to try to make me feel insecure about myself (something which just isn't going to happen). What to do? I'm trying to get her out of my life. One of my best friends even IM'ed her something like: "You're insane. Stop messaging [My Name]. You're not going to "get" to him. You're not going to make him feel bad. Quit being a little girl about this. He's better than you think. WAY better."

 

 

 

So, my question is: Is she super jealous of the fact that I've moved on to someone else already? Does she really expect me to talk to her like I would have two weeks ago when I liked her? Does she really think she can control me?

 

 

 

This is all laughable to me. I'd just like some more outside input :D.

[/hide]

 

 

 

Well it seems as though she did make you laugh. :lol: (she's controlling you afterall). But seriously, it seems as though you found a new girl (congrats) and I wish you the best of luck in that field. Unfortunatly I see that the old girl is getting jealous (a solution to your first problem I don't even think I considered). I think you're handling it well for now, just keep ignoring her and such and eventually she'll back away from boredom. i wouldn't even grant her your attention. It may quicken the process. I'd like to thank you for the clear and detailed manner in which you presented your story. It made it much more fun to follow, and much easier to aid. :)

 

 

 

 

 

@RayOxide

 

As mentioned, common interests in turn cause friendship. But you can't be afriad to push the social boundry. CONFIDENCE. (I think I liked that point, it seriously is the answer to everything). I say take what you're interested in already, and start talking about that stuff to new people. Sooner or later you're going to find people who have similiar interests and agree with you. Hence friendship.