Alrighty then...I shall listen to you...:)

Mooove onnnn, boiiii!

Uhm..Well, I have a situation I guess you could say...

 

 

 

There is this girl at my school, and like, for some reason, I'm truly, like amazingly attracted to her. Now let me explain to you where the problem comes out. Me and her have already gone out once...Or twice...And after the second time, she said, I think we are better as friends.

 

 

 

Okay thats great and all, but I still like you...So yeah...But now, the real problem is, she likes my best friend, and I'm pretty sure shes head over heels for him, they always go and like talk and stuff together..So now my question is...

 

 

 

Should I tell her how I feel about her? And risk her blowing me off or telling everyone?

 

 

 

Or should I TRY and move on for about the fourth or fifth time...?

 

 

 

Tell her how you feel if it will bring you some closure but then move on with your life because as you said, she's after you best mate. Btw if your best mate takes her while you still care for her, then he's not really your best mate anyway and now you have 2 issues, deadbeat of a best mate and a chick who doesn't care for you.

 

 

 

One thing I noticed is you first say you have gone out twice and the second time she blew you off. Then you say should you try to move on for the 4th or 5th time, so which part are you exaggerating (because people can't help you when you fib) or what have you forgotten to mention.

No, what I'm saying is I've convinced myself that I don't like her and I will find more girls, but every time I go back to seeing her and I dunno...Liking her again?

So you're in denial :P bargaining with the different levels of ego until you're satisfied with the answer, isn't the real answer :P it just makes you feel better, temporarily.

 

 

 

I think it's time to find other girls and potentially a new best mate too.

Alrighty then, can't believe I'm taking advice from someone I don't know, but hey, I posted here...:)

 

 

 

I will hopefully find one, hey, theres always more fish in the sea!

Awesome, if it works then you'll know to come back for more advice ;)

Btw if your best mate takes her while you still care for her, then he's not really your best mate anyway and now you have 2 issues, deadbeat of a best mate and a chick who doesn't care for you.

Not necessarily. If there was a girl I had strong feelings for and my best friend went out with her, I'd be happy because I know that she's with a good guy and that he's with a good girl, otherwise I wouldn't be best friends with the guy and wouldn't have feelings for the girl.

 

 

 

I'd say just let it play out and see how things go, probably best to not tell her how you feel about her at this point (at least not if it's in an attempt to win her over, if it's for closure reasons as Goddess suggests then yeah that's fine)

It depends which way you look at it, more often than not people don't want their best friends dating people they still have feelings for after they break up. And I don't blame them, I'd probably give my best friend a black eye if she dated my fiance' if we broke up and I still cared for him. Someone who claims to be your best friend wouldn't want you to feel any worse than you already are regardless of how well they would treat each other. But if your best friend has a crush on a girl and is too scared to make their move then it's their loss, can't wait forever! my 2 cents.

In case anyone is curious (or remembers) about how my situation of the friend with the crummy boyfriend turned out, she actually brought it up. She still has that feeling of attachment, but the relationships really been stressing her out. So she is going to break up with him in the near future.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Irrelevant note: I spent the slightly cold, clear night under the stars in the middle of a big field with a new friend. It was a good night.

Well, today she was being really female doggy to me...And she always seems to have a reason to be mad at me...And shes never mad at my best friend...So I'm pretty sure I'm not going to tell her how I feel, and just ride it out...

 

Irrelevant note: I spent the slightly cold, clear night under the stars in the middle of a big field with a new friend. It was a good night.

 

Ooo, a new lady friend? Woohoo.

 

 

 

Embrace, I'm kinda confused by your situation. Meaning I don't have advice. I'm very tired, so this chick sorta just sounds crazy.

Okay.

 

 

 

Its fine, IGoddessI gave me some great advice.

What do you guys think of age difference in couples? How much is acceptable?

What do you guys think of age difference in couples? How much is acceptable?

 

My (step) great-grandmother is 4 years older than my grandmother because my great-grandmother married my great-grandfather with a little over 20 year difference. We have family friends who married with a 12 year difference at 26 and 38 and they're very happily married. Now when you're below 18, there is just too much development difference for a ready standard. Basically, below 18 just stay within 1-2 year range.

It kind of depends on who is older etc.

 

 

 

I used to go by a 3 year rule for 15+'s, but it opens up alot when you get older.

What do you guys think of age difference in couples? How much is acceptable?

 

 

 

For me, personally, it depends on age. If the female is under 18 years I don't agree with anymore than 2-3 years difference but if the guy was very mature and I happened to have a daughter who he treated very well I'd still invite him around for dinner, get to know him and give the guy a chance. If I don't approve of him or at least take an interest in the things that make her happy in life she would just rebel against me anyway and that would encourage lies and sneaky business. I'd rather it under my own roof than somewhere else.

 

 

 

Anything over 18, it can look "socially wrong" I guess and frowned upon but I say if someone finds peace with themselves with an older person, so be it. I have two relatives who were married or companions with someone double their age but if they're in love who am I to judge?

Society generally goes by the older you get, the bigger the difference can be. For example, once I hit highschool, it turned out to be that any student in the school was fair game for everyone.

 

 

 

Personally I don't care about physical age, it is a horrible measure of someone's character. Don't worry about age if you are interacting with someone personally, unless of course there is a chance for pedophilia.

Society generally goes by the older you get, the bigger the difference can be. For example, once I hit highschool, it turned out to be that any student in the school was fair game for everyone.

 

 

 

Personally I don't care about physical age, it is a horrible measure of someone's character. Don't worry about age if you are interacting with someone personally, unless of course there is a chance for pedophilia.

 

 

 

The first statement summed up my last two years at high school. I was dating a junior when I was a sophomore.

Society generally goes by the older you get, the bigger the difference can be. For example, once I hit highschool, it turned out to be that any student in the school was fair game for everyone.

 

 

 

Personally I don't care about physical age, it is a horrible measure of someone's character. Don't worry about age if you are interacting with someone personally, unless of course there is a chance for pedophilia.

 

 

 

The first statement summed up my last two years at high school. I was dating a junior when I was a sophomore.

 

since im in high school, I can agree. Ex. beginning of this year, dating a senior.

I usually lurk around here, and although I don't really feel like posting my current situation right now...I may as well go ahead and have you guys clear something up.

 

 

 

In the movies (I know, I'm not an idiot, just go with it) you always see the best friends of many years falling in love and living happily ever after. I know real life's far from that, but is it even possible for that to happen in the slightest bit? I'm best friends with this girl (which I'm extremely grateful for, and probably wouldn't trade it for most of any in the world)...but when it comes to me wanting to be even more than that, it's just unrequited love. Not that I'm being greedy or anything...but I've been really curious lately...does it even ever happen? Check out this, too.

 

 

 

Thanks for the help in advance.

 

 

 

-Skill

 

 

 

EDIT: [flameshield] I really don't need any of the "OMFG GTFO AND MOVE ON YOU [kitty]" comments. It's just a question that I've spent a lot of time pondering and I've wondered what your opinions are.

To be honest, the same thing happened to me, I had a good friend that I also felt attracted to, but I did not want to risk our friendship.

 

 

 

But the best opinion I can think of, is talk to her about it, if you guys are really best friends, I'm sure she will understand. And if things don't work out, hopefully you guys can still be best friends...:)

I'd have to say that it does happen. My best friend who passed away and I both believed that if something were to happen it should just flow naturally rather than forcing anything. A few years passed and I fell head over heels for him, the day before I got to tell him he died in a car accident but I found out by his sister that he felt the same way about me according to emails etc that she found left on his computer.

From what I've seen, that xkcd comic really sums it up. Best-friend, "What else is there?" love isn't good at all for the long-term.

 

 

 

It can happen though. Sometimes it isn't like that in xkcd and you both end up caring about each other. But make sure you don't care about her like that just because you're already close and you won't want to build a relationship with someone else. I had a friend who did that, didn't end up well at all.

I've also had another time where it didn't work out I dated my good friend Lachlan and we had a ball together but I just couldn't fall in love with the guy. We're still pretty good friends too.