"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[tintin113]

OK, I'm gonna be honest, I never thought I'd use this thread for anything more than giving advice to other people, but hey, here I am. Basically, I'm lovesick. I've been going out with this girl for just under 2 months now, and now the Summer's here I'm seeing her a lot. I kinda chose a bad time to ask her out... during our exams, so we couldn't see each other much.... But now that I can, I am physically sick before seeing her, I can't eat, and if I do... well it doesn't stay down for long. I'm NOT a sickly person, I've missed one day of school in the last 5 years due to sickness, but now just before I see her I suddenly feel sick... and it sucks. And I know it's correlated, because it's only ever the evening/morning before seeing her that this happens, otherwise I'm fine and eating normally. I feel really comfortable around her, and don't actually feel mentally that nervous about seeing her, but apparently my body disagrees. From what I've heard the only thing I can do is just to wait and let it pass, but it's been, as I said, just under 2 months and this still hasn't stopped, is there any advice you guys can offer me?

[Knotch_Blade]

Just nerves, happened to me too. :D

[tintin113]

Just nerves, happened to me too. :D

 

 

 

How long did it last for you? And does taking paracetamol or anything like that help at all...? I've avoided them so far because I don't count it as being technically ill.

[Iamdan]

tintin, it sounds like an inner game issue. I suggest a book called mastering your hidden self by serge king.

[sibmaster]

OK, I'm gonna be honest, I never thought I'd use this thread for anything more than giving advice to other people, but hey, here I am. Basically, I'm lovesick. I've been going out with this girl for just under 2 months now, and now the Summer's here I'm seeing her a lot. I kinda chose a bad time to ask her out... during our exams, so we couldn't see each other much.... But now that I can, I am physically sick before seeing her, I can't eat, and if I do... well it doesn't stay down for long. I'm NOT a sickly person, I've missed one day of school in the last 5 years due to sickness, but now just before I see her I suddenly feel sick... and it sucks. And I know it's correlated, because it's only ever the evening/morning before seeing her that this happens, otherwise I'm fine and eating normally. I feel really comfortable around her, and don't actually feel mentally that nervous about seeing her, but apparently my body disagrees. From what I've heard the only thing I can do is just to wait and let it pass, but it's been, as I said, just under 2 months and this still hasn't stopped, is there any advice you guys can offer me?

 

 

 

I know what you mean

 

I asked someone out during my exams this year too, and during that time, when i went to see them, as i started walking to near where they were, i used to feel sick and very dry mouthed. But it passed every time once i was with them. A tip is to drink bottled water or something when you get nervous and listen to music or something to take your mind off the nerves until you meet them :

 

 

 

Also, i don't really get this feeling at all anymore, i'll just say what everyone else will say, just give it time :

[angryjoe]

OK, I'm gonna be honest, I never thought I'd use this thread for anything more than giving advice to other people, but hey, here I am. Basically, I'm lovesick. I've been going out with this girl for just under 2 months now, and now the Summer's here I'm seeing her a lot. I kinda chose a bad time to ask her out... during our exams, so we couldn't see each other much.... But now that I can, I am physically sick before seeing her, I can't eat, and if I do... well it doesn't stay down for long. I'm NOT a sickly person, I've missed one day of school in the last 5 years due to sickness, but now just before I see her I suddenly feel sick... and it sucks. And I know it's correlated, because it's only ever the evening/morning before seeing her that this happens, otherwise I'm fine and eating normally. I feel really comfortable around her, and don't actually feel mentally that nervous about seeing her, but apparently my body disagrees. From what I've heard the only thing I can do is just to wait and let it pass, but it's been, as I said, just under 2 months and this still hasn't stopped, is there any advice you guys can offer me?

 

lol that reminds me of stan in south park :D

[RpgGamer]

OK, I'm gonna be honest, I never thought I'd use this thread for anything more than giving advice to other people, but hey, here I am. Basically, I'm lovesick. I've been going out with this girl for just under 2 months now, and now the Summer's here I'm seeing her a lot. I kinda chose a bad time to ask her out... during our exams, so we couldn't see each other much.... But now that I can, I am physically sick before seeing her, I can't eat, and if I do... well it doesn't stay down for long. I'm NOT a sickly person, I've missed one day of school in the last 5 years due to sickness, but now just before I see her I suddenly feel sick... and it sucks. And I know it's correlated, because it's only ever the evening/morning before seeing her that this happens, otherwise I'm fine and eating normally. I feel really comfortable around her, and don't actually feel mentally that nervous about seeing her, but apparently my body disagrees. From what I've heard the only thing I can do is just to wait and let it pass, but it's been, as I said, just under 2 months and this still hasn't stopped, is there any advice you guys can offer me?

 

 

 

That used to happen to me. I used to feel awful and really gastrous just before seeing or even talking to my lady. Eventually your body will get accustomed to her, and you'll stop feeling it entirely. You may think you feel comfortable around her, but obviously deep down somewhere, there's something holding you back. With any luck (and it probly will happen) your body will just stop acting so frustrating and nervous. Try to relax, and make her feel comfortable, and in turn you will feel the same.

 

 

 

Just remember, there's no reason to feel nervous around her: she's already with you ;-)

[Wisp]

I had that problem when I first started dating. Just learn to calm yourself, and it'll pass. As long as you don't physically puke on her, you should be ok.

[tintin113]

As long as you don't physically puke on her, you should be ok.

 

 

 

Eew...? xD Luckily there's no risk of that happening, I'm always fine when I'm with her. :roll:

[RpgGamer]

As long as you don't physically puke on her, you should be ok.

 

 

 

Eew...? xD Luckily there's no risk of that happening, I'm always fine when I'm with her. :roll:

 

 

 

Is it more of an anticipation/excitement thing?

 

Either way you just have to take a deep breathe and calm down a bit.

[Omar]

How about you tell her? Make sure to put emphasis on the fact that when you're with her you feel fine, otherwise she'll slap you.

[Baconxl]

How about you tell her? Make sure to put emphasis on the fact that when you're with her you feel fine, otherwise she'll slap you.

 

 

 

"Whenever I think about hanging out with you I throw up."

 

 

 

I'm not so sure about telling her though, not much of a reason to. The feeling will eventually pass.

[Omar]

I said emphasis >_>

 

"You know, when I'm with you I feel perfectly fine, but before hanging out, I don't, I can't eat and I feel very nervous. I don't know why." It's worth trying - maybe her reassuring him that he's doing fine - and it's not like there's anything to lose.

[Wisp]

If a guy were to say something like that to me, I would probably just say "erm.... ok then" or something like that, but it could be handled a bit better. If you found the right opportunity, you might be able to say something along the lines of "bla bla bla, I always get nervous before I see you".

 

My honest suggestion though is just not to worry about it.

 

I spent some time learning the basics of meditation, and I can always use that to calm myself (unless it's something really big that happened). I'm sure there are some guides online that can help you learn the basics of that, it helps me, but who knows if it will work for you.

[RpgGamer]

How about you tell her? Make sure to put emphasis on the fact that when you're with her you feel fine, otherwise she'll slap you.

 

 

 

What good would telling her do? I'm not saying lie to her, but that's certainly something I would never say to my love interest. Some may think it's cute that you get nervous or whatever, but that really isn't something that you shoot for. Leave cuteness to coincidence.

[MagicOfZaros]

Just say this only if its true. It worked well for me because it was true. I said your the only girl who makes get that butterfly feeling in my stomach. Like when your on a rollercoaster. You give me such a crazy rush and i love it. It made her feel special (because she is ;) ) and she thought it was cute.

[tintin113]

I think sharing that with her would be a very last resort... :roll: However, it seems to have disappeared recently, and I think just being able to share it with you guys helped*, so thanks tif!

 

 

 

*Among other things.

[JtotheP]

So wowww. Im kinda in shock right now. My girlfriend of 3 months just said i want you to ask me something. And I couldn't figure it out and she said it has to do with a ring. I love her a lot more than anything but I am not personally ready for marriage or even thinking about it yet. What should I say to her so she doesn't get upset? I hate upsetting her :(

[tintin113]

So wowww. Im kinda in shock right now. My girlfriend of 3 months just said i want you to ask me something. And I couldn't figure it out and she said it has to do with a ring. I love her a lot more than anything but I am not personally ready for marriage or even thinking about it yet. What should I say to her so she doesn't get upset? I hate upsetting her :(

 

 

 

3 Months? That's pretty fast... :|

 

I don't know much about marriage, but you should just tell her exactly what you said here:

 

 

 

I love you more than anything but I am not personally ready for marriage or even thinking about it yet.

 

(Edited slightly)

[angryjoe]

So wowww. Im kinda in shock right now. My girlfriend of 3 months just said i want you to ask me something. And I couldn't figure it out and she said it has to do with a ring. I love her a lot more than anything but I am not personally ready for marriage or even thinking about it yet. What should I say to her so she doesn't get upset? I hate upsetting her :(

 

mate, she isn't talking about a wedding ring - you have just hit the jackpot!

[Wongtong]

So wowww. Im kinda in shock right now. My girlfriend of 3 months just said i want you to ask me something. And I couldn't figure it out and she said it has to do with a ring. I love her a lot more than anything but I am not personally ready for marriage or even thinking about it yet. What should I say to her so she doesn't get upset? I hate upsetting her :(

 

mate, she isn't talking about a wedding ring - you have just hit the jackpot!

 

......What are you on about?

[angryjoe]

research all meanings of the word ring, i'm sure you will find what i am referring to :thumbup: :ohnoes:

[JtotheP]

Joe but we have already done that if i get your hint right. A ring you dont put on your finger. And it prevents babies? Is that what you mean? Sorry if this breaks any rules :(

[Iamdan]

Joe but we have already done that if i get your hint right. A ring you dont put on your finger. And it prevents babies? Is that what you mean? Sorry if this breaks any rules :(

 

 

 

If you mean is he talking about a condom, no.

[aquariusman]

So here's the deal.

 

 

 

A couple of months ago, I dated a girl (We'll call her Kate). It built up for about a week, then we actually dated. We broke up after 2 days. Kate plays water polo one helluva a lot. Right now, she plays for her club, and Team Ontario. She even played for Team Canada over the March break. The reason we broke up was exactly because of this. School and water polo took up all of her time. Even though we went to the same school, the most I'd be able to see her/talk to her is about an hour, during lunch. So we broke up, but are still good friends (We both still have feeling for eachother). Once schools ends and summer starts, so do her all-day practices (As in 18-20 hours a week), since she's going to Hungary with Team Ontario for two weeks (Was originally four, then six, now two). She gets back August 1st. We're still good friends, I still have feelings for her, I'm almost certain she still has feelings for me. We talk on msn every other day or so. About two, three weeks ago, we get talking about us, and she ends up revealing that she broke up with me with the intention of getting back together, but she's realized something (About her, not us, she did tell me what it is), so she's decided against the getting back together. By now I'm over her in the sense that I still want to date her, but it's no the end of the world.

 

 

 

Then comes Mary. I met her at a party last Wednesday. We've talked on msn quite a bit over the past couple of days. Saw a movie with her Monday, we had an awesome time. I've decided that I'm going to try and date her, I'm not going to wait the rest of the summer for Kate (She gets back August 1, but there's something else), especially if I'm not sure what's going to happen. We're still very good friends, so I'm worried about what her reaction to me and Mary will be, in case Kate still has feelings for me. I want to keep the friendship, since I'd say she probably is the person I trust the most right now.

 

 

 

Just thought I'd put some context as to how much water polo Kate plays. Since late April to mid-May, I've seen Kate about 5-6 times outside of school. Of those, I've talked/hung out with her 4 times (Walked her home, after my rugby game, she passed by on a run, going to her house for fireworks last Friday). The most I've talked to her face to face was going to her house for fireworks, which was about 2.5 hours.

 

 

 

So advice is welcome, but right now I've made up my mind. I'm going to try and date Mary. Again, there's just the nagging little corner of my mind worrying about Kate. Telling you this is one of those it-feels-better-to-let-it-out kind of things.