RpgGamer Posted February 17, 2018 Share Posted February 17, 2018 Hey, here's not a surprise: heteronormativity is shitty, even for straight people.I intentionally didn't respond to the question because I wanted to type up a really long and winded response that you've managed to capture in 2 lines. I hope sometime soon I'll get the chance to write the essay I want to for my answer, but the general theme would be exactly what Tyler said Quote Quote Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic. Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos. PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude Steam: NippleBeardTM Origin: Brand_New_iPwn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tesset Posted February 17, 2018 Share Posted February 17, 2018 If this is a topic you're particularly interested in, I would recommend Elizabeth Brake's Minimizing Marriage. In it, she coins the term amatonormativity, which is basically the idea that romantic, monogamous relationships hold more value than familial or platonic relationships, and everyone should be looking for one. It's a phrase that's fairly popular in the ace & aro communities, for probably obvious reasons, but I don't see it much outside of there. But I think it's pretty relevant to this discussion. Here's a blog post she made that summarizes it, if you're looking for the tl;dr version. As for why society encourages monogamous relationships, if you believe tumblr, it's because nuclear families are easier to exploit than other familial structures under capitalism. My skin is finally getting softI'll scrub until the damn thing comes off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muggiwhplar Posted February 17, 2018 Share Posted February 17, 2018 That’s part of it. I think monogamy is just naturally appealing to most people in theory, even though as you all know, I don’t believe that it’s a sustainable relationship model for most people.Imagine you’re in love with someone, and due to what you’ve been taught by society, you believe it’s possible for that person to love you and remain loyal to you for the rest of your life and neither of you will ever have to search for another partner and experience the discomforts of dating ever again. A lot of people, believing it to be possible, would be like, “that sounds amazing, sign me up!” The average person isn't comfortable with dating and doesn't have a lot of options, so monogamy is essentially a no-brainer for them. The thought of being alone is too terrifying and the thought of dating more than one person is too weird or difficult. --- Regarding the friendzone, the only platonic friendships I have are with my coworkers until I'm not working with them anymore, the significant others of my friends, and my family. IME, platonic friendships aren't sustainable because one of us eventually develops sexual and/or romantic feelings for the other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muggiwhplar Posted February 17, 2018 Share Posted February 17, 2018 http://www.tinderseduction.com/best-tinder-pictures-for-more-profile-matches/ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veiva Posted February 27, 2018 Share Posted February 27, 2018 Okay with the help of a friend I got a few good or decent photos (in my opinion at least). Which of these three is the best? Or are none of them good? I'll be using one of these for Tinder. I still have to get a few more... [hide] [/hide] (I like #1 the best, imo.) Also for the bio I've been thinking of something like: Once, I may or may not have been struck by lightning. I have a few hobbies: bicycling, cooking, reading, doodling, programming, and video games. Sometimes I like mixing them up: programming a video game or cooking on a bicycle. So as someone once wrote, let us go then, you and I, when the evening is spread out against the sky, like a patient etherized upon a table. I think the hook is pretty good. (During a thunderstorm, there was a static discharge that lit up some dust near a window and it floated towards me and gave me a small shock, lol.) I'd like to elaborate a bit on my hobbies but I'm not sure how to in like a sentence or two. The joke made me laugh when I came up with it it. (Then again, I came up with this joke: A blue shell, a lightning bolt, and a starman walk into a bar. The bartender exclaims, "What is this, the last lap?") I personally like the last one (The Love Song of Alfred J Prufrock is hilarious), but it may be off putting, I can't be certain. (Think Bill Cosby...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RpgGamer Posted February 28, 2018 Share Posted February 28, 2018 1st pic is the best in my opinion as well, it's nice to finally put a face where there has only been a Ditto for so long! As for the bio, I'd lose the first line and the last paragraph/chunk but that's just because I feel like having any bio at all is a disadvantage. Also I've only ever focused on attracting women (and doing a mediocre job) while that isn't necessarily your preference; so I'm unsure how applicable any advice on the matter I could give is. None the less I'm thrilled to see you open up like this! Quote Quote Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic. Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos. PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude Steam: NippleBeardTM Origin: Brand_New_iPwn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
obfuscator Posted February 28, 2018 Share Posted February 28, 2018 pictures are probably more important than the bio tbh. #1 is the best "It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boris5000 Posted February 28, 2018 Share Posted February 28, 2018 Just go with the old classic: 'Technically speaking mouth to mouth is ass to mouth.' Luck be a Lady Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veiva Posted February 28, 2018 Share Posted February 28, 2018 Thanks for the advice! @RpgGamer and @obfuscator, thank you and I agree, ha! :) @Boris500, well first of how dare u @Ring_World, I can't pull off the smug/arrogant thing. I'll try and get a more casual photo one of these times though. It's just I literally dress like pictured all the time, unless I'm exercising, lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
obfuscator Posted February 28, 2018 Share Posted February 28, 2018 Also try and get at least 1 picture where you look smug or arrogant, for example the pose in the 2nd picture would be a good one to try that with is this as relevant for gay guys as it is for straight ones? "It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veiva Posted February 28, 2018 Share Posted February 28, 2018 Since I'm bi, some of the advice for straight guys is relevant. :P I still don't like the smug/arrogant thing. It's just not me. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RpgGamer Posted February 28, 2018 Share Posted February 28, 2018 Nah I think the overly clean cut look has it's place. A buddy of mine dresses like that all the time and always looks sharp. If anything, I'd add a sports jacket 1 Quote Quote Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic. Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos. PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude Steam: NippleBeardTM Origin: Brand_New_iPwn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muggiwhplar Posted February 28, 2018 Share Posted February 28, 2018 i agree w/ everyone's responses. you should prob include that you're bi on your profile Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsjann Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 This is such a really funny thread, full of love gurus. Since I'm bi, some of the advice for straight guys is relevant. :P I still don't like the smug/arrogant thing. It's just not me. Are you more attracted to women or men? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veiva Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 i agree w/ everyone's responses. you should prob include that you're bi on your profile So to be clear: 1) Cut off the beginning and ending of of the bio. 2) Get a casual photo. 3) Use photo 1. 4) Put the line "Mouth to mouth is technically ass to mouth." (I joke). I'll cut off the excerpt from Lovesong but I'm keeping the beginning line (at least for now). May get a more casual photo, but I never dress like that so that's not exactly representative of me... Thinking for hobbies I could add something like: I make the some of the best pizza you never had and program some of the best video games you never played. I want dates so I'm not going to mention I'm bi. I don't want girls thinking I'm gay and guys thinking I'm straight :P. This is such a really funny thread, full of love gurus. Since I'm bi, some of the advice for straight guys is relevant. :P I still don't like the smug/arrogant thing. It's just not me. Are you more attracted to women or men? Romantically, I lean slightly towards women. Sexually, it's definitely towards men. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veiva Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 Bump I got an "aloof" picture. [hide][/hide] I think it's pretty good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RpgGamer Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 Great pose/outfit. Strange photo angle choice Quote Quote Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic. Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos. PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude Steam: NippleBeardTM Origin: Brand_New_iPwn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veiva Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 Great pose/outfit. Strange photo angle choiceThe level ones are too... rigid. Or do you mean the photo being slightly tilted? Is this better? [hide] [/hide] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RpgGamer Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 Not so much the tilt angle, but the capture angle. I'm having trouble describing the exact solution to What I'm saying, but basically your photographer should be at matching level of the subject for these kind of "shoots". Like the camera holder shouldn't be crouching or aiming up at you while you're standing off to the side Quote Quote Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic. Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos. PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude Steam: NippleBeardTM Origin: Brand_New_iPwn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veiva Posted March 6, 2018 Share Posted March 6, 2018 They're black chinos... And chukkas are ugly... And I like the angle. If it doesn't work I'll change it but the feedback I've gotten IRL has been only positive '-'. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RpgGamer Posted March 6, 2018 Share Posted March 6, 2018 I mean, you came for constructive cricism, right? What's more positive than that? 1 Quote Quote Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic. Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos. PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude Steam: NippleBeardTM Origin: Brand_New_iPwn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veiva Posted March 6, 2018 Share Posted March 6, 2018 I mean, you came for constructive cricism, right? What's more positive than that? I definitely appreciate it, and I have been taking advice (e.g., aloof [that's not the right word] picture, eliminating things from bio, more casual photo [still need to get one]), but there's some things I just disagree on (fashion, and in this case camera angle). I apologize if I sound dismissive. I don't intend to! At the end of the day I'm the one whose never even been on a date so my opinions are a bit naive :P. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Estonian dude Posted March 26, 2018 Share Posted March 26, 2018 Hot bloody damn, just can't get this one girl out of my mind. The one I mentioned a few pages back, that I first met way back in 2014. She couldn't afford to visit me back then, so I haven't seen her in nearly a year, she deleted her instagram cause it took too much time and thus I haven't even seen a pic of her in months and somehow she is still on my thoughts. She is pretty much exactly 10k km's away from me and when I get home eventually she would still be 8k km's away. It makes it a bit hard to go out meeting people. Other issue is being alone in a foreign country where you know absolutely noone, but still. I used to go out and flirt with girls more even back when I had a girlfriend than I do now... I definitely don't want this turning into an obsession or something, but that's the way it looks right now. Hope it isn't too late. What do? So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends. RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.I strike out every other week.Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.Randox pretty much stays rational.Etc, etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RpgGamer Posted March 26, 2018 Share Posted March 26, 2018 Either push to see were it goes for closure or distract yourself enough that you forget Quote Quote Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic. Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos. PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude Steam: NippleBeardTM Origin: Brand_New_iPwn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
obfuscator Posted March 26, 2018 Share Posted March 26, 2018 he's got the itis "It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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