Please help! My friend is suicidal. =(

[ProtoGuy]

I'd just like to thank all of you for your support, everyone's help in posting,

 

I really have to say, I had almost given up.

 

But I'm going to try to keep this topic going, if people like you have a suicidal friend, you can come here, read what other people have to say, getting advice from people you know you can trust, cause odds are you've seen a few of them before. ;)

 

 

 

Or also, please feel free to post something you think would be HELPFUL to someone in need, and remember, a life is at stake.

 

 

 

Below are a few things that have been discussed:

 

 

 

 

 

 

There are four phases of a psychological crisis:

 

(Note that she can be between two phases)

 

 

 

Shock: Can last for a few seconds to a few days. She doesn't manage to really understand what has happened. She might seem calm, but her insides are dominated by chaos. The body may react with shaking, noxiousness, sweat, tenseness and breathing problems. Panic or isolation is not unusual.

 

 

 

Reaction: Dominated by strong feelings and intense reactions. She is starting to understand what has happened. Denial is very possible. She can also think that she is being punished.

 

 

 

Repairing: Mostly like the reaction phase, but reliving the incident does not happen as often. She understands more and more about what happened. She is starting to accept it. She stops fooling herself, and stops avoiding the pain. She is ready to talk about it. The symptoms of the shock might start decreasing.

 

 

 

Reorientation: She is finally starting to completely accept it, let the incident take less control of her life and plan ahead. Life seems worth living again.

 

 

 

 

She's still alive. Not determined enough to get it over with--and so there is a chance.

 

You have been fueling her with positive feelings, since I'm sure you've been repeating how you care for her over and over again. I'm assuming that this is restoring her sense of purpose.

 

 

 

Tell her that an international forum teeming with people of all ages heard a brief description of her, and is trying to rush to her aid.

 

 

 

Tell her that anonymous people from anonymous locations have grown a collective, anonymous care for her, a care sprouting from your inexhaustible well of compassion for her.

 

 

 

Tell her that she still has a reason to live.

 

That is exactly what you should not do. Being over-positive towards her just reminds her of how miserable she is. What is important is really being "there". Don't tell any suicidal person how fantastic life it, it just reminds them how little you know about how they are. Just be there when they need you, and don't act any different than you normally would (considering you weren't actually mean to them).

 

 

 

And why shouldn't this forum be consulted? Making a topic doesn't mean a professional won't be brought into the situation. How can this topic make anything worse?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Again, thank all of yall sooo much... Yall rock. n_n

[ElkNight]

A couple more details would be useful.

[ProtoGuy]

Shes 18, cronic cutter, no self esteem what so ever.

 

Really [cabbage]ty situation at home, her mom just killed herself three days ago right in front of her, she had her blood on her face and everything.

 

the step mom she has that she moved in with her dad hates her, she gets beat up when ever she goes to school.... Idk what to say anymore. =(

[ElkNight]

Shes 18, cronic cutter, no self esteem what so ever.

 

Really [cabbage] situation at home, her mom just killed herself three days ago right in front of her, she had her blood on her face and everything.

 

the step mom she has that she moved in with her dad hates her, she gets beat up when ever she goes to school.... Idk what to say anymore. =(

 

O_O

[pryomancer]

You should try to meet her in person if that's possible, as in you know each other in real life. That way you can physically stop her if she does try anything.

 

 

 

Also, I'd like to note something. On a similar topic we had in the past, some people were incredibly insensitive and saying terrible things and egging the person on. I'd like to say if this happens again I will not hesitate to hand out bans, it is disgusting behaviour.

[ProtoGuy]

Someone please help... There's no possible way I can be with her right now cause shes out of state, I don't have a driver's license, no cash, there's nothing else I can do to reach her, I'm on the phone with her now though =(

[Furah]

isn't there a service in America that could take her away from them for a while? I know that can happen here in Australia, and I am sure there are families out there that would love to have someone to love, I have a friend whose parents have adopted 3 boys plus there is already the twin boys who are my friends and their sister. Plus I have another friend who just filled out a file to get approval to be able to adopt a 0-4 aged kid, I think she may have applied to foster the kid though... Not sure.

[ProtoGuy]

There are but she's ready to do it now and there's no possible way I can reach her, she's in ohio and I'm in texas...

[Kenshinjapan]

911

[ProtoGuy]

I don't know her new address... she moved out and in with her dad after her mom killed herself....

[Kenshinjapan]

I don't know her new address... she moved out and in with her dad after her mom killed herself....

 

 

 

Then how do you expect us to help. You've said everything you could, she's out of state and you don't even know where to reach her for outside help.

[Furah]

If your parents say yes and if she has the money try to get her to stay with you. I would, even if (once we have moved) I walk however far it is to the nearest train station to get to them (which takes like 30 mins going through 100Km/h areas, but I could go as the crow flies pretty much.)

[ProtoGuy]

Just something to say... something to tell her to convince her everything really will be ok...

 

 

 

If your parents say yes and if she has the money try to get her to stay with you. I would, even if (once we have moved) I walk however far it is to the nearest train station to get to them (which takes like 30 mins going through 100Km/h areas, but I could go as the crow flies pretty much.)

 

And that's what I was trying to convince her before...

 

The plan was once I move back to San Antonio, I fly up there, get her and we both fly back... (shes scared of planes)

 

She moves into my appt and gets a real start on life, but during the call I was trying to see if she had any money so she could bus down here. =(

[stevepole]

Wow, I don't know what to say but your friend really needs to have something positive happen in her life. The only thing I would suggest is somehow get to her, and let her know everything is going to be alright.

[shivers21]

so your asking a bunch of videogame addicted 10 year olds? sorry for bad OT sterotype..

 

 

 

anyway, that's pretty horrible, i've had to go through that myself. do whateveryou can to try and stop her, call someone, atleast make an effort.

[Wongtong]

I say

 

If it's not too late, get someone you know in Ohio to stay with her, wherever she is to make sure she doesn't do anything stupid.

 

Keep reasurring her every day that things are going to be okay and that you're there for her, and will be there soon and everything will be better.

 

Make sure you keep in contact though!

 

 

 

My friend says:

 

there's really nothing he can do except just keep doing what he's doing now...

 

find out where she lives now anyway

 

and get her under suicide watch or something

 

 

 

P.S I'm not addicted to video games =_=

[Riku3220]

Well there really isn't anything we could do. Have you tried talking to her father or somebody else that can physically talk to her?

[ProtoGuy]

I've gotten her to stay alive one more day... I have till tomorrow to convince her to go another 3 weeks tops so I can get her down here to live with me and my uncle. =(

 

I love her so much...

 

God I wish I had my license... I'm such a failure... I should have gotten it a year ago...

 

I'm still not hired... Idk what to do anymore, idk what to think... gah.

[Cowman_133]

 

God I wish I had my license... I'm such a failure... I should have gotten it a year ago...

 

I'm still not hired... Idk what to do anymore, idk what to think... gah.

 

 

 

Keep positive yourself too :

 

 

 

Its good to hear a little bit of hope, good luck with your friend, a sad story it is

[ProtoGuy]

*sigh* It's almost as if I've forgotten how to do that... hope. Idk.. Well, I've got one more day...

 

All I can do is pray...

 

Blah, anyone who else reads this thread know any helpful tips for a depressed insomniac?

 

And if you have something to say about my friend, please... by all means post..

[MirageOfDeath]

This is a cry for help more than anything since she told you what she was going to do. It's good if you can go down there soon and help her..

[Ginger_Warrior]

I realise this is far too late as advice, but this isn't something friends alone can deal with, although you should make every effort to stop her doing any harm to herself. She's clearly traumatised in response to her mother's death only a few days ago and is having trouble coping. At the very least, she needs to see a counsellor/GP or quite possibly a psychologist if the incident has triggered something deeper mentally.

 

 

 

Calm her down, tell her you're there for her, and convince her that talking to trained people will help her cope with what's happened.

[oegly41]

Without any doubt, I can say that she needs professional help.

 

 

 

I don't know much about your friend, but there is probably much more than just seeing her mother die. There is not much you can do personally.

 

 

 

(Yes, many people will most likely hate me for saying this, but I know what I'm talking about) In many cases (I don't know if this case is one of them. You should evaluate that yourself), being overly positive towards a suicidal person only makes things worse. They see how happy other people are, which reminds them of how crappy they are, while they get reminded of how much they will ruin if they kill themselves, more pressure to cope with. What you could do is to go to her level. Tell her about some hard times you've had, without an underlying moral. If necessary, you could make something up. If there is no other option, tell her in a gentle way that if she decides to kill herself, you will be sad, but you will support her decision, as she knows what's best for her. This might make her more certain on herself (or it could egg her to kill herself. Be really careful).

[Furah]

As oegly states, it is really difficult with doing something will either be really helpful, or be that thing to push herover the edge, but just show that you are there for her and that you would do as much as you can to help her. I shall be thinking and praying that she will hold on to life and see how you genuinely want to help her.

[thrash-boy]

ring her up or text here as often as you can. if she rings or texts you make sure you reply/answer immediately or call back straight away if you miss the call. STAY IN CONTACT, DONT LET HER THINK SHES ALONE!

 

 

 

DONT force her to go see a shrink if she doesn't want to, but defiantly mention the idea.

 

say it in a way that its just a idea, dont say "i think you should see a shrink" or anything, say something like "someone i know thinks you should go see a shrink, but its upto you". don't make her think that you want her to see a shrink, and don't make her think that you dont. keep it neutral. that way if she thinks the opposite to you (which is likely) she wont lose any trust in you.

 

 

 

like posted above it may be a good idea to talk about some bad times you had (even make one up). dont go in too deep though, like mentioning the time your mother died and how bad it was (just assuming your mothers dead, she probebly isn't though, just using it as an example).

 

mention how you didn't have the money on you to buy a bus ticket to the shops today and you had to walk 25 minutes to get to a ATM or something. i dont know keep it sad but not too sad, and don't relate it to her if you can.

 

 

 

try to cheer her up by telling a joke or something.

 

 

 

Make sure she knows that you will be devastated if she does do it. if you say she can if she wants then she probably will, she will think you dont care either way.

 

dont ring up and scream into the phone "IF YOU KILL YOURSELF *B-word* ILL KILL MYSELF TO ILL BE SO PISSED OFF" or anything like that though.

 

 

 

keep calm. get her address and details incase she does it on the phone with you so you can get 911 to her ASAP

 

The same with everything else take it slow and easy. DONT ring up and say "Whats your address? i need to know so when you slit your wrists i can call 911 to help you"

 

 

 

and most important work on getting her down there with you and getting professional help. dont speed into the professional help though, take it slow.

 

 

 

THIS IS JUST WHAT I WOULD TRY AND DO, I DON'T HAVE ANY PHD IN MENTAL HEALTH OR ANYTHING THOUGH! The same probably goes for everyone on this forum. MAKE SURE you post this same topic somewhere where professional councilors talk or somewhere like that!