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Random Crap Advertisements


RayOxide

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All you need is a Snuggie, some punch, and plane tickets to Guyana.

 

 

 

*Bonus* You can wear it to your monastery!

 

My life is forever changed. Wait a minute, I already have one of those booklights... :ohnoes:

 

Somebody already invented that. It's called a ROBE.

 

 

 

Besides, SHAMwow? The name tells you its a sham, all I have to say is WOW if somebody buys it.

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I love how those commercials prtray the normally used product (i.e. normal blanket) to be horribly inefficient and frustrating, but the advertised product as perfection.

 

 

 

But of course, they are. Which is why we must all join the cult of the Snuggie.

whalenuke.png

Command the Murderous Chalices! Drink ye harpooners! drink and swear, ye men that man the deathful whaleboat's bow- Death to Moby Dick!

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!

angel2w.gif

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Anyone else hate those Enzyte commercials?

 

Is that with smilin bob? I forget.

10postchm2105.png

8,180

WONGTONG IS THE BEST AND IS MORE SUPERIOR THAN ME

#1 Wongtong stalker.

Im looking for some No Limit soldiers!

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Here's a loltastic NZ ACC (Accident Compensation Corporation) ad

 

u51OxZF1ltI

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LMAO!! Fruit E Bars!! LMAO!!

8888kev8888.jpeg

Sigs by: Soa | Gold_Tiger10 | Harrinator1 | Guthix121 | robo | Elmo | Thru | Yaff2

Avatars by: Lit0ua | Unoalexi | Gold Tiger .

 

Hello friend, Senajitkaushik was epic, Good luck bro.

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I was watching CNN and sat through 4 Billy Mays commercials within 2 commercial breaks. Seriously, what is so good about him that makes advertisers want to use him? HE'S LOUD AND HARD TO IGNORE?

 

 

 

But the stupidest thing of all is... Head-On and its sister products. If you have a headache and Head-On cures it, you really didn't have a headache in the first place. And the commercials just give you a headache. It's a conspiracy! "Sit through our commercial and get a headache, then be forced to buy our product to solve your headache, then repeat! Brilliant!" Wonder who thought that clever plan up, eh?

 

 

 

And the fact that all those informercials and paid programming are all the same. They have some renowned cook or cleaner or the owner of the product or some famous guy talk about the product, while a short white lady stands there in awe as though the product is God's gift from above. It's especially fail-tastic when the lady pretends she's never heard of the product by asking "what else can it do?" when the even average doorknob can see she's a member of the company or paid to say those things.

 

Head on! Apply directly on the forehead!

 

Head on! Apply directly to the forehead!

 

Head on! Apply directly to the forehead!

 

Head on! Apply directly to the forehead!

 

Head on! Apply directly to the forehead!

 

 

 

It doesn't work, I tried it, it just makes your forehead tingle at the contact of cold air. CLR doesn't really work either, I tried dipping my skateboard bearings in it for 2 hours, no grease removed. And they were greasy as [bleep].

Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

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Now if only his dispenser had prevented his shorts from looking like that... :-X

Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

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Like a person said before, this is a typical crap advertisement.

 

Tired of the struggle of having to get off the couch to get a drink? Introducing the MovingCouch!

 

Random Guy: Before the MovingCouch, I was forced to get up to use the bathroom! Now, the MovingCouch comes with me!

 

Call 1-800-this-is-a-scam in the next 10 seconds to get the MOVINGTV!!!! A $200 value, your free. Just pay shipping and handling.

 

Voice: Call 1-800-this-is-a-scam to order your MovingCouch and MovingTV for four easy payments of $19.99 plus $8.95 shipping and handling.

 

 

 

Also, ShamWow actually worked for my grandparents.

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[hide=]

Like a person said before, this is a typical crap advertisement.

 

Tired of the struggle of having to get off the couch to get a drink? Introducing the MovingCouch!

 

Random Guy: Before the MovingCouch, I was forced to get up to use the bathroom! Now, the MovingCouch comes with me!

 

Call 1-800-this-is-a-scam in the next 10 seconds to get the MOVINGTV!!!! A $200 value, your free. Just pay shipping and handling.

 

Voice: Call 1-800-this-is-a-scam to order your MovingCouch and MovingTV for four easy payments of $19.99 plus $8.95 shipping and handling.

 

 

 

Also, ShamWow actually worked for my grandparents.

[/hide]

 

 

 

:-k. . . I can actually see that working!

 

 

 

OMFG&!&!! GOLDMINE!(#&*!^#*!#

8888kev8888.jpeg

Sigs by: Soa | Gold_Tiger10 | Harrinator1 | Guthix121 | robo | Elmo | Thru | Yaff2

Avatars by: Lit0ua | Unoalexi | Gold Tiger .

 

Hello friend, Senajitkaushik was epic, Good luck bro.

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Lionel coin bank, lionel coin bank.

 

 

 

Shoot those [bleep]ers, shoot those [bleep]ers.

whalenuke.png

Command the Murderous Chalices! Drink ye harpooners! drink and swear, ye men that man the deathful whaleboat's bow- Death to Moby Dick!

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!

angel2w.gif

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Lionel coin bank, lionel coin bank.

 

 

 

Shoot those [bleep], shoot those [bleep].

 

Damn hypnosis.

 

 

 

Also, I'd like to take Billy Mayes, make him drink OxyClean, shove Mighty Putty in his mouth, nose, and ears, and put his head in one of those slider things. Then I'd make him get insurance.

 

 

 

Also,

[hide=]
Like a person said before, this is a typical crap advertisement.

 

Tired of the struggle of having to get off the couch to get a drink? Introducing the MovingCouch!

 

Random Guy: Before the MovingCouch, I was forced to get up to use the bathroom! Now, the MovingCouch comes with me!

 

Call 1-800-this-is-a-scam in the next 10 seconds to get the MOVINGTV!!!! A $200 value, your free. Just pay shipping and handling.

 

Voice: Call 1-800-this-is-a-scam to order your MovingCouch and MovingTV for four easy payments of $19.99 plus $8.95 shipping and handling.

 

 

 

Also, ShamWow actually worked for my grandparents.

[/hide]

 

 

 

:-k. . . I can actually see that working!

 

 

 

OMFG&!&!! GOLDMINE!(#&*!^#*!#

 

Yes, once I sell over 9000 of these things, I'll have over $800190!

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Can I get the Might Gemit without the Mighty Mendit?

Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

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That ad above,to meet single parents.If I wanted to meet a single parent I'd find a married woman and kill her husband.

devilgod.jpeg

so i herd u liek devarts?

If you look at me and feel offended by my 666-ism,think.I could be just as offended by your "cross".

[hide=This's why I'm hot]

The Eleventh Commandment:Thou Shalst only say "Amen,brother".

Amen, brother :lol:

Amen, brudda (referring to the 10th commandment)

amen Bruder! (german ftw)

I'm invulnerable to everything, except Lenin and Dragoonson.

That's impossible.

 

I love people.[/hide]

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I notice Billy Mays was not confident enough in Mighty Mendit to jump out of that plane himself.

whalenuke.png

Command the Murderous Chalices! Drink ye harpooners! drink and swear, ye men that man the deathful whaleboat's bow- Death to Moby Dick!

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!

angel2w.gif

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Has anyone else done this - well before everyone had cable that told you what shows were on. Basically, go to TV guide channel, and then notice that it's on like channel 31 and you don't need to watch till channel 82, so you're like "Oh I've got plenty of time, I'll watch this ad!" then when you look back up, it's at channel 85, this is happened to me countless numbers of times.

21ed8x.jpg

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

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