You get all of that but as a gangster the police bust you and then you get deported to a diffrent country to be tortured.

 

You are then given the Ludovico treatment so that anytime you look at another person you feel weak and ill and you are then released back into society.

 

you die a slow painful death as a recluse.

 

I wish for a room temprature cake the size of a computer screen was placed in my hand slowly.

Granted. It rests on your hands and falls apart falling onto the floor.

 

I wish for a nice tropical island getaway

Granted.

But global warming floods the island. Im super serial.

 

 

I wish that I had a Ushanka.

Granted. You are assassinated by a crazed fan. :(

 

I wish for some breadfruit.

Granted, you get a rotten breadfruit.

 

I wish TheAmazingAtheist would be my father.

Granted. But due to the different genes that went into making you, you come out differently and you cease to even exist.

I wish to be worshiped like a god.

Granted, but it is a lesser know diety.

 

I wish for a speck of dust.

Granted, a big fat guy steals it from you. In case you're wondering who that is, well it's Peter Griffin.

 

I wish the government would be after whoever posts next and kick him/her out of his/her house and force him/her to live on the streets.

 

The only way to corrupt that wish is to find a solution for this problem. :twisted:

Granted, the government of the person who posted after you sends you a form letter saying that the person was removed from their living quarters permanently. However, they lied. Silly government.

 

I wish for a pebble painted in shades of green.

Granted, it's cursed, every time you hold it something horrible happens.

 

I wish for a butler who would always wanna do anything to make me feel good. And when I don't feel good, he feels horrible.

He trys to make you feel good in the wrong way and you aplode.

 

I wish for a thirty centimetre omlette at room temprature on a plate which is not to heavy and is placed in my hands. it is also not poisoned or anything (and polonium counts as poison)

Granted. The pebble you paint green just so happens to be superintelligent, a Green Hooloovoo. This shade of green resents you for introducing it to the pain of life, so it reflects light in such a way that it gives you a seizure.

 

I wish I had a nice tall glass of Orange juice.

Granted, but the glass is so tall you can't even drink the juice.

 

I wish to become part of a three villain team called "The Unkillables" and we haven't been defeated in years, not even Superman can stop us.

Granted. the other two unkillables are me and my cat.. we annoy you...

 

I wish for pudding.

Granted, but you accidentally drop it on the ground.

 

I wish for a Wailord for a pet.

Granted. it bites your head off...

 

I wish that TBM still had his brains!

Granted. He gets his two brain cells back.

 

I wish I knew how to fly a helicopter

Granted, however your helicopter gets stolen.

 

I wish I'd find who stole the helicopter, then I'd shoot him with a pistol.

You shoot the thief, but he proves to be your great-great-grandfather who had traveled forward in time prior to impragnating your great-great-grandmother.

 

I wish I had the ATA-gene, a Atlantian controll chair fastened to the floor of my bacement and an unlimited supply of perfectly fine drones coming out of a cave in the nearby forest protected by a fully spherical oneway shield that only allowed me(and anything/anyone I brought with me) to pass inwards(but anything out) as well as several houndred jumpers in the previously mentioned cave(which had a big enough entrance to fit them), the first two with one houndred full ZPMs and the later with fully functioning power generators.

Granted, swallow these tiny toxic smelling radiation emitting pills and everything will be clear.

 

 

I wish i hadnt ate all of the cookies yesterday so i would still had some for today.

Granted, you get back half a cookie.

 

I wish the Coca-Cola company would become even bigger.

Granted, but they start charging 6.95 for a coke to pay for all the expansion.

 

I wish I could read minds.

Granted, but you can't control which mind you can read, as a result you read the minds of everyone around you, and never get what anyone is saying.

 

I wish for two fathers, one is an aggressive sailor, and the other is a drunken pirate, and they're enemies.

Granted. They fight and kill eachother and you get caught in the crossfire.

 

I wish I could eat as much ice cream as I wanted and never get fat