Granted, but the glass is chipped and impossible to drink from.

 

I wish gum never lost its flavour

Granted, but it also makes you swell up and turn blue, like a big blueberry.

 

I wish for a fish.

Granted, a shark jumps out of the ocean and eats you.

 

I wish to become a successful movie critic on YouTube.

Granted, but a movie director becomes so infuriated from one of your reviews he bludgeons you to death with a baseball bat.

 

I wish I had a map of the universe.

Granted, but the map is absolutely enormous, to the tune of light years across, but the scale is still uselessly small.

 

I wish Goon would stop driving and get out of the car already

Granted, but as soon as he steps out of his car, he becomes insecure and kills himself, effectively ending whatever he did.

 

(Never heard of him before)

 

I wish I had a higher grade in Physics Class

Granted, but you get kicked out after the teacher has realized you cheated by wishing for higher grades instead of earning them.

 

I wish Zamorak would be my real life god.

That was a good one, I hadn't expected that. Anyway... Granted, but he hates you and sends his minions to kill you, which they promptly do.

 

I wish my Grandparents hadn't died slowly and painfully of cancer.

Granted, instead they died fast and painlessly from being shot.

 

I wish Abraham Lincoln would be my grandfather, then I'd tell everyone that he is my grandfather, and I'll become extremely famous for being Abe's grand-son.

Granted, but Tom Booth's grandson tracks you down and assassinates you.

 

I wish I had something to with for.

Granted, but you forget what it was.

 

I wish the weather outside would be based on my emotions.

Granted, but the first time you get angry the sky rains down fire and kills everyone.

 

I wish I could find a clipboard.

Granted, but as soon as you go to clip something, the clip gets stuck open, leaving you with a slab.

 

I wish I could have met John Lennon.

Granted, but he was uninteresting and you didn't really care for the encounter.

 

I wish I could eat all the yummy delicious food I wanted and never get fat

Granted, you never become fat, but you still have to go to the bathroom every so often.

 

I wish to be stuck in an elevator with a rock star, then I'd ask him, "Can you rock us out of here?".

Granted, but he says, "No." So you both starve to death in the elevator.

 

I wish I could rock us out of here.

Granted, you rock everyone out of existence.

 

I wish for a butler who would do anything for me, and the government would pay him.

Granted, but with the economy the way it is, it can only be afforded for 2 minutes.

 

I wish this wish wouldn't come true.

Granted. The ensuing paradox from my previous statement ravages the scientific community until someone finally divides by 0 and destroys the universe.

 

 

 

I wish I could get all my homework done and done well in less than one hour.

Granted. You do it but you don't learn anything.

 

I wish I knew every word in the english language

Granted but you lose your voice and hearing.

 

I wish I could instantly know and be able to speak every single language in the world.

But you lose your voice

 

i wish i died

Granted, you die slowly and painfully.

 

I wish the random events in RuneScape would also occur in real life.

Granted, and they annoy you to no small end!

 

I wish I had a neato metal sculpture of an eagle or something

Granted, you get the something. That something turns out to be a knife in the head, you die.

 

I wish I had $20.00 in American dollar bills.