Granted. You get called up and taken as the new top executive in charge of Pokémon, making you in charge of the franchise's mind. And, by commutative property, in charge of your own mind.

 

I wish someone could define the difference between when a person is being "fake" and "real", not referring to acting or existence.

granted, you gain that little bit of knowledge, but your human brain is programmed in just the way as to drive you insane.

 

i wish for something simple.

Granted, you get a simple recipe food, unfortunately I find the food you make disgusting and never want to look at that recipe again.

 

I wish for an elevator that leads to another dimension, then I'd use it.

Granted, you enter the dimension of nightmares. You die there.

 

I wish I could manipulate time.

Granted, but you lose the ability when you're old, so by going into the future like you will, you'll lose it.

 

I wish I didn't have a headache.

Granted, instead you feel ill in your stomach.

 

I wish the following events would happen:

 

I go to a place where I see a sofa, and the following conversation takes place:

 

Someone: Do you wanna work here?

Me: What do I have to do?

Someone: Well, all you have to do is be in the sofa and do absolutely nothing. You can't even dream.

Me: That sounds like an easy job.

Someone: But it's not an easy job at all. Few people have managed to do this job. If you do anything other than just being in the sofa doing nothing you will be fired. You get 30 trillion dollars a month.

Me: I'm in.

Someone: Good luck.

 

You decide what happens next.

Oh thanks, I felt ill in my stomach the last few days.

 

Anyway. You stay on the sofa for several hours, sleep, wake up the next day hungry. You realize you can't go anywhere or do anything, so you decide to fall asleep again. Since you're so hungry, your stomach wakes you up and you spend an extended period of time being awake, causing hallucinations. At one point, you see the couch on fire. Since you're going in and out of consciousness, you think you're safe and the davenport is alright as well. But you light on fire and burn and die, and by not lasting a month you break the contract and your family doesn't get paid.

 

I wish I had a wish which didn't involve wishing for something that could really happen in a fantasy world twice backwards.

Granted, but it's so complex even you can't understand it.

 

I wish I could spend all of my time with the people I love, doing things I love to do.

Unfortunatley you develop a love of some dangerous things. Everyone you love dies. Then you die.

 

I wish I could create food, with my mind.

Granted, but it all tastes terrible.

 

I wish Nicholas Cage would become one of my subscribers on YouTube.

Granted, but it's not him, it's his "media specialist" used for messing with his YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter.

 

I wish I didn't need to eat in order to survive.

Granted, but you still need to drink in order to survive.

 

I wish for a heavy weight champion.

Granted, you go to a bar, find one, piss him off, and he beats you.

 

I wish Japan recovers from the Earthquake/Tsunami/Nuclear explosion.

Granted, the country will recover but since this tragedy is already taking lives people will most likely continue to die. Overall though the country will recover.

 

I didn't want to corrupt that one, but hey my answer is reality based.

 

I wish someone would grant my wish with a long, elaborate story with an abundance of poetic devices, non-archetypal characterization, and a confusing plotline.

Granted, but that "someone" forgets to hit the submit button, and closes the window before he does that.

 

I wish Adolf Hitler would be forgotten by everyone.

Granted. Once that happens, history repeats itself and some new guy's name is the equivalent of Hitler's.

 

I wish I could make people less stupid.

Granted, but every time you do you become stupider.

 

I think I'm running out of wishing ideas. I wish I didn't feel that way.

Granted. You now have lots of ideas. You're just not aware of them.

 

I wish I hadn't been ill last week.

Granted, instead you become ill the whole next week.

 

I wish that next time I drive my car around the city I'd find a dead reindeer lying on the road, then I'd just keep on going driving over it.

Granted. But then the dead reindeer's friend, who has been bitten by a radioactive Japanese spider, comes back to kill you. (after it steals your car and buries its friend.)

 

I wish I could see air

Granted. YOU CAN SEE FOREVER. :shock:

 

I wish for Old Spice.

Granted, it's old and rotten.

 

I wish my face would be on every US dollar bill.

Granted. It's on every counterfeit bill.

 

I wish someone will corrupt my wish.

Granted, but he does it in the worst way possible.

 

I wish the statue of Liberty would be replaced by a statue of me.

Granted. Your statue quickly rusts, gets covered in bird droppings, and is called "Lady Liberty" because people don't know your name.

 

I wish my eyes didn't feel so tired.