Granted, but you can't move on land. You didn't wish to be sent to the sea, so you're stuck on land unable to walk.

 

I wish Coca-Cola would become an energy drink and the taste wouldn't change at all.

Granted. The downside is that, in order to keep its flavor, a special parasite was added to it. To make things worse, the thing was very experimental and made the drink rather toxic to unknowing drinkers. Don't worry, you only suffer illness.

 

I wish I could be better at stealing stuff.

Granted, you're better but still not good enough to not get caught and sent to jail.

 

I wish I had a fork with which to eat this pasta.

Granted, but it breaks while you're eating the pasta.

 

I wish for a megaphone.

Granted, but it's out of batteries.

 

I wish for a blanket.

Granted, but it's full of bedbugs.

 

I wish I had something very delicious to eat.

Granted, it's magical and makes something ridiculous happen to you.

 

I wish crazy things would stop happening to me in the Pokémon world. (or my dreams)

Granted. They happen to you in real life instead.

 

I wish TIF liked me.

Granted, I want your babies.

 

I wish I had infinite kittens.

Granted, they all scratch you.

 

I wish for infinite amount of awesomeness.

Granted, but the stock price of awesome crashes and is worthless.

 

I wish I was in an anime.

Granted, you are in a very boring anime that's more boring than real life.

 

I wish for a grandfather clock.

Granted. You spend all of your time watching the pendulum go back and forth and never do anything else.

 

I wish there were no more annoying things in the world.

Granted, everything is boring now.

 

I wish it was legal to kill as long as you really hate the person that you kill.

 

Oh and I'm not afraid of death, so saying that I die is NOT corrupting the wish.

Granted. You aim a gun at a person you hate but right as you pull the trigger, someone you love jumps in front of it and takes the bullet, meaning you killed someone you didn't hate. You then break the law and get the worst punishment imaginable, besides your friend or whoever being dead.

 

I wish I had the patience for anything.

Granted, you sit on a chair waiting for something to happen and never ever leave the chair.

 

I wish for a magical chewing gum, then I'd chew it to see what happens.

granted all f your teeth fall out

 

i wish for a can of Pringles that was not stale.

Granted. The can's not stale, but it sure is empty my good sir.

 

I wish for a million dollars.

Granted, the government takes 98.4% of it and you're only allowed to spend the rest of the money on laxatives.

 

I wish school could be condensed into 1 hour a day with me still learning the same amount as before.

Granted, but you get a job and have to work 14 hours a day. You want to quit the job, but realize that you need it.

 

I wish I lived in a country where it's illegal not to have a gun. And I would always have my gun on me no matter what.

 

Again, I'm not afraid of death, so saying that I die does not corrupt the wish.

Granted, but it's illegal to have ammo.

 

I wish that I was a master swordsman and had one of the finest swords given to me by Santa Claus.

Granted, but you have to wait over three months to have it since Santa only gives presents on Christmas.

 

I wish to become an evil overlord. :twisted:

Granted, but your leadership is an asinine joke and your empire crumbles within the next week.

 

I wish Disney's shows resorted to their style of the 90s, where the real jokes were fun to find.

Granted, but today's youth hate them and Disney goes bankrupt.

 

I wish I had a full tank of gas.

Granted, the tank has a hole at the left bottom of it.

 

I wish for a wife with a remote control.