Granted, the mute button and the pause button are both broken. And it only accepts AAAA batteries.

 

I wish everything electronic that plugs into something else electronic that it had the same connection, making every electronic in the world compatible.

Granted, but a terrorist group finds a way to exploit this and causes all of the world's electronics to overheat and explode at the same time.

 

I wish I had a new pair of rock climbing shoes that fit me perfectly.

Granted. The government raises the price of them to $75k each.

 

I wish that no one ever committed a crime in the world.

Granted, that means no more fighting, no more wars, etc. And good crime, superhero and so on movies, TV shows and so on don't exist anymore since nothing interesting ever happens.

 

I wish the next president of the United Sates would be an intelligent alien from the planet Venus.

Granted, but they were too used to Venus' dense gravity and atmosphere so they suffocate and explode on arrival.

 

I wish I could get paid for watching anime.

Granted. You get paid $0.01 for every hour you watch.

 

I wish to know exactly how and when I'm going to die.

Granted, but knowing that information gives you a lot of fear. So you're scared for the rest of your life.

 

I wish all gangsters would worship me like a god.

Granted. You have no time to poast anymore.

 

I WISH THE DAMNED INFINITE EIGHT ARC WOULD END ALREADY

Granted, I do't know what the [bleep] that is.

I wish to have kids one day??

Granted. They grow up to become successful, genocidal dictators. Just what every parent wants for their child! :thumbup:

 

I wish I had a cup of coffee.

Granted. But it's cold.

 

I wish every (edible) food tasted good to me.

Granted, you go to a grocery store and eat all the food there since you find all of it so delicious.

 

I wish every time I got shot I'd be stronger and more powerful than before. Then I'd piss off a lot of gangsters. :twisted:

Granted. They cut you.

 

I wish for a warm cup of coffee.

Granted, but it tastes absolutely horrible.

 

I wish the dragon platelegs in RuneScape would restore to its 2.5M price.

Granted. Bots at steel and iron dragons make even more money from the bones and now platelegs.

 

I wish macroers in RS didn't exist.

Granted. They macro in real life instead. :thumbup:

 

I wish someone would take my contract! ／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼

Granted, a contract that makes you a slave for the rest of your life appears out of nowhere, and someone takes it and accepts that contract. :twisted:

 

You didn't say which contract.

 

I wish racism and sexism would be punishable by something far worse than dead.

Granted, but your racism against Goonians causes you to be punished.

 

I wish I had an extra ear for hearing extra good.

Granted, your nose gets replaced by a ear. You no longer can smell.

 

I wish everyone was the king of their own kingdom.

Granted. Since they don't have anyone to rule over, they might as well not be kings.

 

I wish I could talk to my future self 10 years from now and see how my life is.

Granted. The only problem is, your future self is a ghost. You died a year later.

 

I wish I had an alienware comp.

Granted. But you have a laptop and it overheats. (My friend has an Alienware, it overheats surprisingly easily.)

 

I wish I lived for 1000 years (approximately) to see what the year 3000 is like.

Granted, you didn't wish that you'd go forward in time, so you have to wait 1000 years until you even get the chance to see what 3000 looks like, and that takes a very long time.

 

I wish for the entire world at my fingertips.

Granted. Unfortunately, the only world available at the time is a globe.

 

I wish to have more facebook notifications.

Granted. People start spamming the [bleep] out of your wall.

 

I wish I could play the drums as good as Dave Lombardo.