Bullied into suicide

[TipIt]

http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2010/01/24/the_untouchable_mean_girls/

 

Like a lot of kids her age, Phoebe Prince was a swan, always beautiful and sometimes awkward.

 

Last fall, she moved from Ireland into western Massachusetts, a new town, a new high school, a new country, a new culture. She was 15, when all that matters is being liked and wearing the right clothes and just fitting in.

 

She was a freshman and she had a brief fling with a senior, a football player, and for this she became the target of the Mean Girls, who decided then and there that Phoebe didnt know her place and that Phoebe would pay.

 

Kids can be mean, but the Mean Girls took it to another level, according to students and parents. They followed Phoebe around, calling her a [bleep]. When they wanted to be more specific, they called her an Irish [bleep].

 

The name-calling, the stalking, the intimidation was relentless.

 

Ten days ago, Phoebe was walking home from school when one of the Mean Girls drove by in a car. An insult and an energy drink can came flying out the car window in Phoebes direction.

 

Phoebe kept walking, past the abuse, past the can, past the white picket fence, into her house. Then she walked into a closet and hanged herself. Her 12-year-old sister found her.

 

You would think this would give the bullies who hounded Phoebe some pause. Instead, they went on Facebook and mocked her in death.

 

They told State Police detectives they did nothing wrong, had nothing to do with Phoebe killing herself.

 

And then they went right back to school and started badmouthing Phoebe.

 

They had a dance, a cotillion, at the Log Cabin in Holyoke two days after Phoebes sister found her in the closet, and some who were there say one of the Mean Girls bragged about how she played dumb with the detectives who questioned her.

 

Last week, one of the Springfield TV stations sent a crew to South Hadley High to talk to the kids.

 

One girl was interviewed on camera, and she said what was common knowledge: that bullies were stalking the corridors of South Hadley High.

 

As soon as the TV crew was out of sight, one of the Mean Girls came up and slammed the girl who had been interviewed against a locker and punched her in the head.

 

The Mean Girls are pretty, and popular, and play sports.

 

So far, they appear to be untouchable, too.

 

South Hadley is a nice, comfortable middle-class suburb that hugs the Connecticut River nearby and a certain attitude.

 

Things like this arent supposed to happen in South Hadley, said Darby OBrien, a high school parent, wondering why the bullies who tormented Phoebe are still in school. And so instead of confronting the evil among us, the reality that there are bullies roaming the corridors at South Hadley High, people are blaming the victim, looking for excuses why a 15-year-old girl would do this. People are in denial.

 

School officials say there are three investigations going on. They say these things take time.

 

That doesnt explain why the Mean Girls who tortured Phoebe remain in school, defiant, unscathed.

 

What kind of message does this send to the good kids? OBrien asked. How many kids havent come forward to tell what they know because they see the bullies walking around untouched?

 

They were supposed to hold a big meeting on Tuesday to talk about all this, but now thats off for a couple of weeks.

 

OBrien is thinking about going to that meeting and suggesting that they have the kids who bullied Phoebe look at the autopsy photos.

 

Let them see what a kid who hung herself looks like, he said.

 

Last week, Phoebe was supposed to visit Ireland, where she grew up, and she was excited because she was going to see her father for the first time in months.

 

She did end up going back to Ireland after all, and when her father saw her she was in a casket.

 

Phoebes family decided to bury her in County Clare. They wanted an ocean between her and the people who hounded her to the grave.

[Panzerlord]

Hang one. See how they like it then.

[Tom_Servo]

At first glance I thought yeah, it's sad, but it happens every year. Then I saw that the people responsible were not only not sorry, but continued to bad mouth the girl they practically killed.... Is there a way to charge them with man slaughter, throw them in the slammer, and leave them there to rot? 'Cause that's far better then they deserve. I hope what they did comes back to haunt them.

[1230abcz]

Sad, and pisses me off to no end. I hate losers like that who have nothing to look forward to in the future. If I had anything to say about it, those girls would be in jail for murder. Yea.

[evil_mumm_ra]

this happens a lot, maybe not so outwardly, but it does happen. i'm sure it's one of the common reasons kids commit suicide. i'm not disturbed by this at all actually, i figured it was the root cause of many suicides. the article is far too mellowdramatic. yes, the "mean girls" should be punished, but really only because they are so outwardly open about badmouthing her and stuff, that's just more proof against them. kids will be kids, you either are bullied, or get bullied in school. it happens.

[Sbrideau]

tl;dr, but I almost suicided because of bullying as well, when I was small and in highschool. Glad I didn't do it though, and I am living a happy life now.

[Alg]

I'm a bit dumbfounded that they got away with it even after continually admitting to it.

[Guest Mrmegakirby]

should they not at the very least be charged for assault? (For the car incident, if I read that correctly)

[Maze]

Wow, just wow.

 

They should get charged for SOMETHING. They were an obvious cause for her suicide.

 

And what really sickens me is they got away with it.

 

Karma is a [bleep]. And I bet Karma has an arsenal of hell for these disgusting students that caused a life to be lost.

[SeanyTheSailor]

The problem is you can't make them live with what they did. Normally I see suicide and school shootings due to bullying as a sign of weakness. I think I've softened up because on the night of the 29th a kid at my school killed himself, popular and well liked. Sorry if you don't wanna read this, but I am just venting/mourning silently, if you will.

[Lenticular_J]

I would care, be insulted, be outraged, whatever, but I have no respect for those who kill themselves over something as stupid as bullying. I've been there, I've been in the exact same position as them. And I decided it was time to nut up or shut up.

 

The kids that off themselves are just as much at blame as the ones that drive them to it, in my eyes. Sad or whatever, but [cabbage] happens. You can't feel horrible about everything that happens. Those girls will be outcasted in their schools for a while - to be honest, anyone who spends all their time mocking others usually isn't very well-liked in high school anyways.

[Alg]

Karma is a [bleep]. And I bet Karma has an arsenal of hell for these disgusting students that caused a life to be lost.

For some reason I'm reminded of 4chan going after the guy that abused the cat...

[Maze]

I would care, be insulted, be outraged, whatever, but I have no respect for those who kill themselves over something as stupid as bullying. I've been there, I've been in the exact same position as them. And I decided it was time to nut up or shut up.

 

The kids that off themselves are just as much at blame as the ones that drive them to it, in my eyes. Sad or whatever, but [cabbage] happens. You can't feel horrible about everything that happens. Those girls will be outcasted in their schools for a while - to be honest, anyone who spends all their time mocking others usually isn't very well-liked in high school anyways.

Different people have different ways of feeling. Maybe bullying isn't such a big deal to you, but to this girl it really hurt her inside.

[Youmu]

I'm on Lenticular's side. You really shouldn't commit suicide over bullying. This is just like those RS cyber-bullies.

 

Either you deal with it, or get everyone to go against those bullies. And also get help from teachers, parents, and even 911 if it was really serious.

 

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. (Ok, maybe not...)

[K4ylan]

Honestly, this is just pitiful. And even worst of all, this kind of thing only happens in America(for the most part). It makes me disappointed and for some reason ashamed of myself. The fact that Americans can even say the phrase "things like this happen all the time" is awful.

[TipIt]

 

Karma is a [bleep]. And I bet Karma has an arsenal of hell for these disgusting students that caused a life to be lost.

 

I grew up in an area like that. Kids got away with everything. DUIs at 17? Lawyer up. Caught selling drugs? Same. Wrecking multiple cars? It's okay, Dad'll buy you another luxury car to replace the one you totaled (while drunk) because he feels bad that he moved to Miami with his 24 year old girlfriend after the divorce. (True story.)

 

Those girls will probably go to good colleges, get decent jobs, and be complete entitled C U Next Tuesdays for the rest of their lives. They're probably too far gone to develop a conscience, so they'll never have to really live with what they've done. Life's not fair, karma is [cabbage], and you've got to fend for yourself.

[Dizzle229]

I had come up with a system of enforcement and punishment for schools to put into place to deal with these sorts of things, but when I read it back to myself, it somewhat resembled the legal system of Nazi Germany.

[Guest Mrmegakirby]

I had come up with a system of enforcement and punishment for schools to put into place to deal with these sorts of things, but when I read it back to myself, it somewhat resembled the legal system of Nazi Germany.

 

Do continue.

*Smokes pipe*

[Lenticular_J]

Honestly, this is just pitiful. And even worst of all, this kind of thing only happens in America(for the most part). It makes me disappointed and for some reason ashamed of myself. The fact that Americans can even say the phrase "things like this happen all the time" is awful.

This [cabbage] happens everywhere. Quit complaining about America. People that just sit and whine that their whole life would be better if they lived somewhere else ... You have to take the initiative. Nobody else will.

 

This goes to those feeling as though they're bullied, too.

[Lenin64]

Why did they capitalize mean girls?

 

This is probably the biggest point in favor of the "suicide is for the weak" argument. If this girl did nothing about her bullying problem and instead decided to hang herself, it was probably going to happen sooner or later over something. Not saying she deserved it, but unless there's something there I'm not seeing this girl was a little weak on the character. Someone with a little more strength would have done something, anything at all.

[NotoriousPSC]

Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam wrote a song about a kids he read about in the newspaper who shot himself in front of his whole class. Song was a huge hit, one of their best on their debut album. Vedder said part of the song is about a kid he knew growing up who committed suicide, and how he made fun of him but didn't realize how much it hurt him until it was too late

 

 

 

I've had a few friends with depression issues, but never any suicide attempts (that I know of, thank God)

[Azurefirem]

I'm on Lenticular's side. You really shouldn't commit suicide over bullying. This is just like those RS cyber-bullies.

 

Either you deal with it, or get everyone to go against those bullies. And also get help from teachers, parents, and even 911 if it was really serious.

 

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. (Ok, maybe not...)

I don't know how to really say this. But I'm probably best able to say it cause I've been through similar situations. Not quite to the level of meanness present in this case but more ostracization than anything.

The thing is, when people bully you, you don't want to tell anyone. Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. And they're just words, and you keep telling yourself that, but the truth is they hurt and you keep it in and it builds up and builds up and builds up until you just can't take it anymore. And you don't tell anyone because you don't trust them enough to lay out these deep and dark feelings. You're a girl, you can't have these 'bad' feelings. There's a lot of darkness in the life of a girl nowadays, a lot of the body image stuff from the celebrities and then a lot of societal expectations. As a girl I've seen a lot of people generally expect someone who's cheery, someone who laughs often, someone not particularly morose or 'down'. It's hard to keep up a cheery face. (I would know, I've been doing it for years.) I've dealt with things for years without telling anyone, mainly because I don't trust them enough to open up about things that truly hurt me. If something hurts me I'm more likely to shove it down inside and not tell anyone, if something bothers me I won't tell anyone either. I put up and shut up, complaining has rarely if ever been an option, or at least one that has had any effect. You learn pretty fast that complaining gets you nowhere, so you stop talking about things. Nobody knows what you're going through and then once you're even deeper into this, nobody can understand what you're going through. You keep telling yourself this, and you believe it's true. You start feeling totally alone in this world, even though you may be surrounded by people who love you.

Bullying has the effect of depressing someone. It makes you feel worthless, and after enough of it you start to feel like what they say is true. You can start feeling totally worthless, feeling like nothing matters and that you're the absolute worst person in the world. The mind is a powerful thing, and it can delude you into thinking that you're better off dead and that you're completely worthless to everyone, nobody will miss you once you've offed yourself.

 

Seriously it's a hell of a lot harder to go to someone than you think.

[NotoriousPSC]

I'm on Lenticular's side. You really shouldn't commit suicide over bullying. This is just like those RS cyber-bullies.

 

Either you deal with it, or get everyone to go against those bullies. And also get help from teachers, parents, and even 911 if it was really serious.

 

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. (Ok, maybe not...)

I don't know how to really say this. But I'm probably best able to say it cause I've been through similar situations. Not quite to the level of meanness present in this case but more ostracization than anything.

The thing is, when people bully you, you don't want to tell anyone. Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. And they're just words, and you keep telling yourself that, but the truth is they hurt and you keep it in and it builds up and builds up and builds up until you just can't take it anymore. And you don't tell anyone because you don't trust them enough to lay out these deep and dark feelings. You're a girl, you can't have these 'bad' feelings. There's a lot of darkness in the life of a girl nowadays, a lot of the body image stuff from the celebrities and then a lot of societal expectations. As a girl I've seen a lot of people generally expect someone who's cheery, someone who laughs often, someone not particularly morose or 'down'. It's hard to keep up a cheery face. (I would know, I've been doing it for years.) I've dealt with things for years without telling anyone, mainly because I don't trust them enough to open up about things that truly hurt me. If something hurts me I'm more likely to shove it down inside and not tell anyone, if something bothers me I won't tell anyone either. I put up and shut up, complaining has rarely if ever been an option, or at least one that has had any effect. You learn pretty fast that complaining gets you nowhere, so you stop talking about things. Nobody knows what you're going through and then once you're even deeper into this, nobody can understand what you're going through. You keep telling yourself this, and you believe it's true. You start feeling totally alone in this world, even though you may be surrounded by people who love you.

Bullying has the effect of depressing someone. It makes you feel worthless, and after enough of it you start to feel like what they say is true. You can start feeling totally worthless, feeling like nothing matters and that you're the absolute worst person in the world. The mind is a powerful thing, and it can delude you into thinking that you're better off dead and that you're completely worthless to everyone, nobody will miss you once you've offed yourself.

 

Seriously it's a hell of a lot harder to go to someone than you think.

 

 

I was sorta awkward in Elementary school, and was bullied some. I didn't realise it at the time either, but I also bullied other kids younger than me. Didn't realise it until others pointed it out to me.

[Lenticular_J]

I'm on Lenticular's side. You really shouldn't commit suicide over bullying. This is just like those RS cyber-bullies.

 

Either you deal with it, or get everyone to go against those bullies. And also get help from teachers, parents, and even 911 if it was really serious.

 

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. (Ok, maybe not...)

I don't know how to really say this. But I'm probably best able to say it cause I've been through similar situations. Not quite to the level of meanness present in this case but more ostracization than anything.

The thing is, when people bully you, you don't want to tell anyone. Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. And they're just words, and you keep telling yourself that, but the truth is they hurt and you keep it in and it builds up and builds up and builds up until you just can't take it anymore. And you don't tell anyone because you don't trust them enough to lay out these deep and dark feelings. You're a girl, you can't have these 'bad' feelings. There's a lot of darkness in the life of a girl nowadays, a lot of the body image stuff from the celebrities and then a lot of societal expectations. As a girl I've seen a lot of people generally expect someone who's cheery, someone who laughs often, someone not particularly morose or 'down'. It's hard to keep up a cheery face. (I would know, I've been doing it for years.) I've dealt with things for years without telling anyone, mainly because I don't trust them enough to open up about things that truly hurt me. If something hurts me I'm more likely to shove it down inside and not tell anyone, if something bothers me I won't tell anyone either. I put up and shut up, complaining has rarely if ever been an option, or at least one that has had any effect. You learn pretty fast that complaining gets you nowhere, so you stop talking about things. Nobody knows what you're going through and then once you're even deeper into this, nobody can understand what you're going through. You keep telling yourself this, and you believe it's true. You start feeling totally alone in this world, even though you may be surrounded by people who love you.

Bullying has the effect of depressing someone. It makes you feel worthless, and after enough of it you start to feel like what they say is true. You can start feeling totally worthless, feeling like nothing matters and that you're the absolute worst person in the world. The mind is a powerful thing, and it can delude you into thinking that you're better off dead and that you're completely worthless to everyone, nobody will miss you once you've offed yourself.

 

Seriously it's a hell of a lot harder to go to someone than you think.

That's why you have to be the one to pull yourself up by your bootstraps, go out there, and show them just how much [wagon] you kick.

[Skull]

Or just karate chop the next guy who makes fun of you in the throat.

 

 

 

Hey, it worked for me.