Don't you think it's kinda lame and arrogant to have Private Chat set to 'Friends'?

[RSBDavid]

What's with some of you comparing this to real life? It's nowhere near the same. :mellow:

 

Is it arrogant to have doors on your house to keep people out?

No. If I want some privacy, I should get it.

 

I keep all of my in game chats off mainly.

[niccosdad]

After spending wayyyyy too much time reading all the posts on this thread, what I am having difficulty with is why it is so hard for some to feel it's ok for others to think or act differently? Is there really a problem with diversity? Is it really necessary to feel we need to legislate the behavior of others so that everybody acts and thinks the same way you do?

 

Large parts of this just don't add up. Why would someone only be able to get help from others via PM? Did asking politely in public chat somehow suddenly get banned? Or even just the idea of "ignoring" people in a party so you can hang out with your friends, why is that suddenly a federal offense? In my opinion, there's nothing wrong with talking to people you feel comfortable talking to and like talking to first and foremost. Maybe there is someone else that you somehow feel might be nice to talk to. If so, all the better. Should that be mandated?

 

In the end, I think it's great that some people choose to leave their Private Chat set to On. If that helps them enjoy their time on RS, I'm all for it and won't question their motives or make any value judgments about them. All I ask is that you afford me the same courtesy for my choice to set my Private Chat to either Off or Friends. Live and let live, as someone once said.

 

Niccosdad

[finalheaven]

i like it on and why not? also having it on all i get asked for is claws gs whips barrows lulz the friendship i see nowadays is greed.

[tedbundty]

What's with some of you comparing this to real life? It's nowhere near the same. :mellow:

 

And as for the being "too good" to answer questions - I'm perfectly happy to help out friends. What I don't like is when people - anyone at all, actually - PM me expecting full quest walkthroughs, then whining when I tell them to look up a guide because I can't remember everything. Oddly enough, this really only happens with people not on my friends list. Again, I am perfectly happy to add people if I get along with them and if they ask me, but otherwise, my chat is staying on friends.

 

I guess you've forgotten that there are real people behind every rs character - so it is very appropriate to compare to real life.

 

The point is not about being 'too good' to answer random noobs questions as I've said over and over. Read my last post (i think it's on page 8 - i'll put on front page soon).

 

After spending wayyyyy too much time reading all the posts on this thread, what I am having difficulty with is why it is so hard for some to feel it's ok for others to think or act differently? Is there really a problem with diversity? Is it really necessary to feel we need to legislate the behavior of others so that everybody acts and thinks the same way you do?

 

Large parts of this just don't add up. Why would someone only be able to get help from others via PM? Did asking politely in public chat somehow suddenly get banned? Or even just the idea of "ignoring" people in a party so you can hang out with your friends, why is that suddenly a federal offense? In my opinion, there's nothing wrong with talking to people you feel comfortable talking to and like talking to first and foremost. Maybe there is someone else that you somehow feel might be nice to talk to. If so, all the better. Should that be mandated?

 

In the end, I think it's great that some people choose to leave their Private Chat set to On. If that helps them enjoy their time on RS, I'm all for it and won't question their motives or make any value judgments about them. All I ask is that you afford me the same courtesy for my choice to set my Private Chat to either Off or Friends. Live and let live, as someone once said.

 

Niccosdad

 

O, please, let's not get into an argument of right or wrong. I don't wanna hear what your dumb teachers are telling you about 'tolerance' in school. If you say 'nothings wrong' then it's nearly impossible to have any sort of argument. So, for argument's sake, let's just assume assume arrogance and lameness are 'bad'. No more on this, please.

[wioneo]

I agree with most of what you say, the only people who I believe have a legitimate reason for filtering their PMs constantly are famous people(and p mods to a lesser extent), because they WILL get random annoying people constantly. I know several people who add random interesting names such as "God" or "Santa" and the like, and they usually say something when one of them logs in/turns their chat on.

 

Also, it's harder to make a rsof team with private chat on.

 

You DO get random strange people pming you very rarely, but some of those rare times it's some new player legitimately looking for help, and I don't see what is wrong with that. It doesn't happen very often, but it does occur.

[Myweponsg00d]

 

Not everything is as simple as it may seem.

 

I didn't really consider your status in the community. I thought that you were speaking in generalities to apply to anyone.

 

I mean, if I were you, I would play with private on friends. If I were Zezima I'd play with private on friends.

 

I think we were just talking about two seperate situations. I was talking about the average player like myself, while your opinions seem to be more from the point of view of an RS "celeb"

 

I thought we were having a hypothetical conversation, my bad.

[Wingless]

Personally, I fail to see how having an option set to someone's preference is 'lame'.

I want my private chat set to friends because I want it to be like that.

 

As for your 'points':

1) No. Have you ever thought that maybe people aren't sociable and like to keep themselves to themselves?

2) I've never, in the 3 years I've played, been sent a PM asking for help (I had private set to 'On' for 2 of those years). People who want help post it in public chat so, instead of one person seeing it in a PM, a whole range of players can see their request.

3) ...seriously?

4) In my case, if they were my *really* good friends I'd have them on my Skype or MSN. If I delete anyone, its because I didn't like them or I know for a fact they've quit. If they rejoin, then its too bad. This is the virtual world - I doubt you have had such a good relationship that going to go meet the IRL, unless of course your extremely close (in which case relates to my point on Skype/MSN).

 

Also, I see no sort of mention of attempted hackers in the OP. I had an plethora of impersonators with their really bad hacking attempts. Thats also another thing I, and about all the other 'arrogant and lame' players, want to avoid.

 

If I'm arrogant because I want an option set to how I want, then aren't all the Labour voters arrogant for not voting for Conservatives arrogant aswell, considering they blanked they ignored an entire parties view?

 

[PS: I'm not derailing the thread to politics - I'm making a point. I'm not even old enough to vote yet :thumbup: ]

 

And also:

 

 

Privacy is what your house is for. Also if you really wanted PRIVACY you would have private chat OFF.

 

So your saying that we should all lock ourselves in our POH where you can't skill, pretty much, at all (besides Combat - if you have a games room with the games) and spend all our RuneScape life there. Riight.

 

And if I wanted Privacy, I'd have Privacy set to friends. Because I don't want to speak to people I don't know, but I don't mind speaking to my friends.

Note how I didn't use FULL CAPS LOCK RAEGGG to make my point

[Quagsire]

It's perfectly fine to have private on "friends", not everybody on a game millions of people play has to be your friend. Same reason theres an ignore list. If you don't want to talk to somebody then you don't have to.

 

For example, I have this group of people, I think they're a clan who think I'm somebody that I'm not. So whenever I put Private -> On, I get an instant 5+ Messages asking if i'm that person.

 

Now, I don't need to be spammed by a group of people just so I don't look arrogant. People have reasons.

[Denith]

Most of the time when someone turns their private chat set to "friends" they just see themselves ignoring the general populace of annoying people as opposed to have themselves chauvi.. exclusively available to those awesome people known as friends. And since when is being practical frowned upon!?

[Myweponsg00d]

 

So your saying that we should all lock ourselves in our POH where you can't skill, pretty much, at all (besides Combat - if you have a games room with the games) and spend all our RuneScape life there. Riight.

 

 

What I was talking about was the comparison between RS and real life. I was saying that if you didn't want to be part of society, then your house is where you can go be alone. But if you want to do things in public, you have the responsibility of acknowledging the existence of others.

 

I think that setting private to friends all the time is like ignoring people on the streets IRL. Its the virtual equivilant of someone approaching you and asking for directions, and then you just ignore what theyre saying and keep on walking.

[Wouter828]

No, it's fine that you think the amount of pm's by 'noobs' (it's funny how you talk about 'noobs' and then blame people who turn their private chat to friends that they think they're better than other people) is negligable, I think every pm I get by some random person trying to gain something by using your knowledge without offering anything (like friendship) in return or being rude whilst asking is one too many. Therefore I think I have the right to turn my pm to friends so I can filter out these nuisances and just focus on the people I know are nice and friendly.

[Raee]

I'm more interested in how everyone seems to be pm'd so often by random people. Personally, I've always kept my private chat set to 'on', yet the messages I receive from people I don't know never really surpasses more than once or twice a month, if that. I would say that I'm decently high leveled as well, and I use highly populated areas quite often. For me, it wouldn't matter if my private chat was on friends only or not, the amount of pm's from people outside of my friends list is negligible at best.

[unkn0wnwarrior]

 

So your saying that we should all lock ourselves in our POH where you can't skill, pretty much, at all (besides Combat - if you have a games room with the games) and spend all our RuneScape life there. Riight.

 

 

What I was talking about was the comparison between RS and real life. I was saying that if you didn't want to be part of society, then your house is where you can go be alone. But if you want to do things in public, you have the responsibility of acknowledging the existence of others.

 

I think that setting private to friends all the time is like ignoring people on the streets IRL. Its the virtual equivilant of someone approaching you and asking for directions, and then you just ignore what theyre saying and keep on walking.

Except that there is another option on RS- public chat. Setting that to friends/off would be like ignoring people on the streets. Private chat really is more like a phone, in that it is (generally speaking; not always with phones but in most cases) a 1-on-1 conversation with nobody really listening in, unless they want to hear only one side of it.

[Wingless]

 

So your saying that we should all lock ourselves in our POH where you can't skill, pretty much, at all (besides Combat - if you have a games room with the games) and spend all our RuneScape life there. Riight.

 

 

What I was talking about was the comparison between RS and real life. I was saying that if you didn't want to be part of society, then your house is where you can go be alone. But if you want to do things in public, you have the responsibility of acknowledging the existence of others.

 

I think that setting private to friends all the time is like ignoring people on the streets IRL. Its the virtual equivilant of someone approaching you and asking for directions, and then you just ignore what theyre saying and keep on walking.

Except that there is another option on RS- public chat. Setting that to friends/off would be like ignoring people on the streets. Private chat really is more like a phone, in that it is (generally speaking; not always with phones but in most cases) a 1-on-1 conversation with nobody really listening in, unless they want to hear only one side of it.

 

This.

[Zaaps1]

Personally, my friends list is full. And I can't delete anyone since every one of them is active. If my private chat were on friends, I'd HAVE to remove someone to respond to messages, and then I'd forget to readd and it just gets too confusing.

[Elektrik2H]

Does it honestly matter if your private chat is on "Friends"? I doubt people go around randomly adding you anyway. So unless that actually happens, nobody is going to know besides yourself and anyone you tell. It really isn't a big deal.

[Komatose]

When I play I have everything except clan chat on friends. I don't like seeing unnecessary text and what not. Plus I don't give a crap if anyone thinks that I'm lame or arrogant. This is no different than the kids on XBL who try to say using M16 or shotguns in CoD is lame or pathetic. It's how I want to play, so who cares?

[Lord-kain1]

I have my PM setting set to friends, because my list is completely full and I don't really use the ignore list. Been playing over 9 years, iggy list would have gotten full by now.

 

It really gets to be a problem when your trying to hold a conversation with one of your day to day friends and you keep getting interupted by someone that you can't respond too "hey!".. " uh.. hey?"... "why aren't you responding!?" ... "its rude not to talk to someone when they are trying to talk to you!" < ive seriously had similur happen the last time i set pm settings to on.

 

my 2 cents

 

LK1

[Myweponsg00d]

 

So your saying that we should all lock ourselves in our POH where you can't skill, pretty much, at all (besides Combat - if you have a games room with the games) and spend all our RuneScape life there. Riight.

 

 

What I was talking about was the comparison between RS and real life. I was saying that if you didn't want to be part of society, then your house is where you can go be alone. But if you want to do things in public, you have the responsibility of acknowledging the existence of others.

 

I think that setting private to friends all the time is like ignoring people on the streets IRL. Its the virtual equivilant of someone approaching you and asking for directions, and then you just ignore what theyre saying and keep on walking.

Except that there is another option on RS- public chat. Setting that to friends/off would be like ignoring people on the streets. Private chat really is more like a phone, in that it is (generally speaking; not always with phones but in most cases) a 1-on-1 conversation with nobody really listening in, unless they want to hear only one side of it.

 

This.

 

Not this.

 

Public chat: "Can anyone tell me how to get to Lumbridge from here?"

This is like me going into the streets and saying: "Where in the world is the closest toilet?"

 

Private chat: "Hey, do YOU know how to get to Lumbridge?"

This is like me, approaching someone to talk directly to them and say: "Dude, sorry, but do you know where I can find a toilet..."

 

I think the first question would just result in everyone on the street looking at you like you are crazy or annoying. I think the second question is much more personal, and you get the feeling that the person has looked you over and decided that you would be a helpful person to ask. I find it annoying when people stand in a crowded area and just spam questions that they want answered in public chat. Or...even worse...the people who sit in a Clan Chat and are silent, except for when they just ask to the entire clan chat: "Where can I find a shovel?" Then the discussion in the CC is interrupted by 6 people that simultaneously reply.

 

I like that feeling. In Runescape, it is my high level or nice items which tells people I would have knowledge they might desire. In real life, it is my clean clothes and friendly smile.

 

The stranger approaches you, uses you for your information. And do you get anything in return? Not usually. Except for gratitude.

 

I love gratitude.

[unkn0wnwarrior]

Not this.

 

Public chat: "Can anyone tell me how to get to Lumbridge from here?"

This is like me going into the streets and saying: "Where in the world is the closest toilet?"

 

[snip]

 

I think the first question would just result in everyone on the street looking at you like you are crazy or annoying.

If you said it that way, the looks would be justified. There are ways you could say it that would get no such reaction and just the answer, at least where I live. And I am more apt to answer you in public chat, even though my private chat is usually ON now.

[Saunamajuri]

 

So your saying that we should all lock ourselves in our POH where you can't skill, pretty much, at all (besides Combat - if you have a games room with the games) and spend all our RuneScape life there. Riight.

 

 

What I was talking about was the comparison between RS and real life. I was saying that if you didn't want to be part of society, then your house is where you can go be alone. But if you want to do things in public, you have the responsibility of acknowledging the existence of others.

 

I think that setting private to friends all the time is like ignoring people on the streets IRL. Its the virtual equivilant of someone approaching you and asking for directions, and then you just ignore what theyre saying and keep on walking.

Except that there is another option on RS- public chat. Setting that to friends/off would be like ignoring people on the streets. Private chat really is more like a phone, in that it is (generally speaking; not always with phones but in most cases) a 1-on-1 conversation with nobody really listening in, unless they want to hear only one side of it.

 

This.

 

Not this.

 

Public chat: "Can anyone tell me how to get to Lumbridge from here?"

This is like me going into the streets and saying: "Where in the world is the closest toilet?"

 

Private chat: "Hey, do YOU know how to get to Lumbridge?"

This is like me, approaching someone to talk directly to them and say: "Dude, sorry, but do you know where I can find a toilet..."

 

I think the first question would just result in everyone on the street looking at you like you are crazy or annoying. I think the second question is much more personal, and you get the feeling that the person has looked you over and decided that you would be a helpful person to ask. I find it annoying when people stand in a crowded area and just spam questions that they want answered in public chat. Or...even worse...the people who sit in a Clan Chat and are silent, except for when they just ask to the entire clan chat: "Where can I find a shovel?" Then the discussion in the CC is interrupted by 6 people that simultaneously reply.

 

I like that feeling. In Runescape, it is my high level or nice items which tells people I would have knowledge they might desire. In real life, it is my clean clothes and friendly smile.

 

The stranger approaches you, uses you for your information. And do you get anything in return? Not usually. Except for gratitude.

 

I love gratitude.

Public chat: Random guy comes up to mr and asks me a question. I answer

Real life: Someone comes to me in streets and asks something.

 

Private chat: Someone starts talking. I dont know him so I`ll just ignore it

Real life: Someone calls you via phone to ask something. I dont regocnise the number so I just hang up.

[qeltar]

I thought we were having a hypothetical conversation, my bad.

Well you asked me personally so I answered you personally. But there are other people who may have other legitimate reasons for not wanting to be messaged by random players as well.

 

As one of many examples.. do you have *any* idea what it is like to play as a girl/woman in this game? I changed my sex once briefly to check it out and man, I would *never* have private chat open publicly if I were female.

 

The bottom line is how I concluded my prior message: not everything is as simple as it may appear.

 

The stranger approaches you, uses you for your information. And do you get anything in return? Not usually. Except for gratitude.

 

I love gratitude.

I use public chat for this, which I *usually* have on, unless I'm in a place with a high concentration of morons like Catherby.

 

But even this is a reason not to keep private chat open to everyone. Because a large percentage of the time that you help someone with something using public chat, they then start sending you PMs expecting you to be their personal manservant, or worse, their friend for life.

 

As Turnipsi2 implied.. I would definitely help a stranger on the street with directions. But I wouldn't give him my home phone number!

[oreocookie987]

Alright, I read the entire post. Now to address every point and answer every question. I assume that's what you want. Oh and I didn't bother to read 10 pages before making my own reply, so if something I say has already been said and I'm repeating it, then sue me. For the record, my Private Chat was set to Friends when I played a few years back. Now lets see here...

 

"(1.) They're too good/busy to talk with people who aren't on their friends list."

Well! Its not that I'm too good or busy to talk to you (and if I am I'm not aware of it but I'd be flattered to hear it), its basically that I just don't want to talk to you. I'm not very social in games, as opposed to in real life, and 90% of the time I usually couldn't care less about what most people are saying. The people I do want to talk to are on my Friends list, and if I want to talk to you I'll put you on my list. Or simply ask me to add you, and if you don't seem like the type of person I'd want to punch in the throat I'll probably do it.

 

"(2.) They're unwilling to help anybody who might be PMing them for help with something."

Hah, I like this one. Its completely true. I'm not going to go out of my way to help you if I don't know you, I'm not your babysitter. If someone on my Clan Chat or in Public Chat asks me for some help quickly, then yeah, I'll do it if it isn't terribly inconvenient or out of the way, but I'm not the damn Yellow Pages. Oh, and to tie this one into your real-life cell phone analogy, do you ever call a random phone number and ask the person who picks up for help? I think not!

 

"(3.) They are at a higher level above those who have their Private Chat set to 'On'."

Is it a known fact that all high level players have their Private Chat set to Friends? Or that all low level players have it set to On? Must have missed that memo...

 

"(4.) Say you delete a dear old friend from your friend's list because he hasn't been on for a long time (or for whatever reason) and then A week or so later he starts playing again. If you have Private Chat set to 'on' then can PM you, you can re-add him and your friendships will be restored. If you have it set to 'Friends', though, he won't be able to PM you and might even think that you don't play anymore - your friendship won't and never will be restored."

I never deleted a friend on my list, unless they gave me a very good reason to do so. My Friends List was about 60% full before I even joined the Tip.It Forums, which is why I couldn't add so many people that asked me to. I always told them my Friends List was full, and that's why. I'll post it too if you want, back in my day 200 Friends filled a Member's list and that's how many I had, and more than half the names are non-Tip.Iters.

 

Now, onward to the questions!

 

- What do you have you're private chat set to and why?

By answering this I'd just be re-typing some of the things I said earlier. Refer to above for answer.

 

- When (if ever) you have Private Chat set to 'on' about how often do you get spammed by other players? (e.g. once a day, twice a day once a week, etc...)

Seeing how I've never set it to On I can't answer this question.

 

- In what ways do you agree/disagree with what I'm saying. Explain.

Again, refer to above. I addressed every point clearly. For those who have not yet grasped the concept, I disagree.

 

So yes, I disagree with you. I disagree with every word you wrote. I find it ridiculous to consider people "lame and arrogant" for wanting to have their Private Chat set to Friends, if I want to enjoy some privacy and choose who I want to hear from and who I don't want to hear from, then to hell with you because I'm going to use that choice. You sure don't get that kind of option in real life.

[Sillylilpixie130]

I leave mine off, I do not want anyone but my friends that I know and trust to know when I am on. Nor do I want people that I do not know messaging me, if they wanna talk to me they can do so in public chat. It is my right to have it on friends. It's private for a reason. I really don't want random people being able to message me. I don't mind helping people, but they can ask me in public. I don't see it as me being arrogant, I see it as me being able to keep to myself if I want, or keep privacy if I feel I want it.