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Messing with Telemarketers

Featured Replies

Here is how I deal with telemarketers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*ring ring*

 

 

 

*pick up*

 

 

 

"Hello?"

 

 

 

"Hi, this is jim from WebOptimize, do you want more traffic to your website?"

 

 

 

"Take me off your phone list."

 

 

 

*click*

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Have you guys ever wondered how the telemarketer feels on the other side.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do they care about how we feel?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If people wanted them to call they wouldent be hung up on if they dont want people hanging up on them or me putting them thru my ansewing service they just shouldent call. If you ring someone you should accept the fact that they could hang up on you.

~Dan64Au

Since 27 Aug 2002

Here is how I deal with telemarketers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*ring ring*

 

 

 

*pick up*

 

 

 

"Hello?"

 

 

 

"Hi, this is jim from WebOptimize, do you want more traffic to your website?"

 

 

 

"Take me off your phone list."

 

 

 

*click*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Having been a telemarketer (unfortunately), I know that takes up to three months.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I do live in Washington, however, so my wife and I often can use the 'Washington is a no second attempt state" if they try to snowball. These people *should* know the laws.

 

 

 

Do they care about how we feel?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No, ofcourse not. You refer to "we" as in the group you belong to, the group of people who act like utter jerks when I call them. I'm polite, and if I get a "[bleep] off" or a prank as an answer, do you think I care if you feel upset about me calling you? Luckily, most people are actually not that rude, they just politely say that they are not interested, making my job a whole lot easier and almost endurable. Thank you for being so understanding.

 

 

 

Do they care about how we feel?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No, ofcourse not. You refer to "we" as in the group you belong to, the group of people who act like utter jerks when I call them. I'm polite, and if I get a "* off" or a prank as an answer, do you think I care if you feel upset about me calling you? Luckily, most people are actually not that rude, they just politely say that they are not interested, making my job a whole lot easier and almost endurable. Thank you for being so understanding.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Everytime a telemarketer calls me, I politely tell them I'm not interested, but I still end up staying on the line for 10 minutes.

tmpphpnppgpw.png

My friend and i did a great one the other day, a telemarketer rang us asking for me to complete a survey so my friend started moaning. He got louder and louder and louder while this person was trying to read questions. Eventually it got so loud that i started having trouble hearing her so i put the reciever to my mouth and screamed "SHUT THE **** UP OR ILL CUT THE OTHER ONE OFF!!!". The telemarketer hung up :lol:

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Rofl i have gotta try that!

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sound boards off the internet are always good

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

suggested Jack Black, Little John, Arnold Swarzenneger

I always use the Seinfeld

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ask them for their home number so you can call and dicuss it later

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

when they refuse to give it to you

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ask , "why, dont you like random people calling you at home and asking stupid questions?"

I like to fart silently but deadly in movie theaters
Ard Choille says (11:41 PM):

I wouldn't dare tell you what to do m'dear

I always use the Seinfeld

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ask them for their home number so you can call and dicuss it later

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

when they refuse to give it to you

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ask , "why, dont you like random people calling you at home and asking stupid questions?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks, I'm gonna do that.

I got this from the time my sis used it on RS

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*ring

 

 

 

*pick up

 

 

 

"Hello?"

 

 

 

"Hi I'm Briar from ColmarBrunton Poll, would you be willing to complete a survey for a smoker between the age 18-64?"

 

 

 

"Oh, sorrys....no speaka no english"

 

 

 

*jam the phone down on them

<~[ FLAME_ON!! ]~>

on/off RSplayer since 2000

LOL, these people called johovaness witnesnes (or however u spell it)

 

 

 

anyway @ my house we have a MASSIVE drive way about 800m long!

 

 

 

anyway we have a sign saying "NO CARS" so they get out of their cars and walk all the way down my driveway when they get to my door their like

 

 

 

"would u be intedrested in converting"

 

 

 

and i'm like

 

 

 

"Tell me more"

 

 

 

so they are explaining all this stuff

 

 

 

and i ask them if they want a drink (they walk in)

 

 

 

i turn around acting all surpised

 

 

 

"OOOO who invited u in then!"

 

 

 

and the r sooo lost for words!

 

 

 

and i'm like leave!

 

 

 

when they're about 50m away i turn the sprinkers on THE GET TOTALY SOAKED!!!!!

 

 

 

then their in their best clothes being soaked runn up the rest 700m of our muddy driveway!!!

 

 

 

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Heheh I think thats a bit mean.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

800 metre driveway you must live near Dural or somthing like that!

LOL, these people called johovaness witnesnes (or however u spell it)

 

 

 

anyway @ my house we have a MASSIVE drive way about 800m long!

 

 

 

anyway we have a sign saying "NO CARS" so they get out of their cars and walk all the way down my driveway when they get to my door their like

 

 

 

"would u be intedrested in converting"

 

 

 

and i'm like

 

 

 

"Tell me more"

 

 

 

so they are explaining all this stuff

 

 

 

and i ask them if they want a drink (they walk in)

 

 

 

i turn around acting all surpised

 

 

 

"OOOO who invited u in then!"

 

 

 

and the r sooo lost for words!

 

 

 

and i'm like leave!

 

 

 

when they're about 50m away i turn the sprinkers on THE GET TOTALY SOAKED!!!!!

 

 

 

then their in their best clothes being soaked runn up the rest 700m of our muddy driveway!!!

 

 

 

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When a Jahova witness comes to my familys door, we turn off all our TVs and hide under the table.

The polite thing I use when Jehovah's Witnesses show up:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Good afternoon sir, have you been saved?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Why, yes I have."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Really, may we come in and discuss your faith?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*I whip out Bible*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Nah, how about we do this out here."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One of them usually looks at his watch and says "err, we must be off now."

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My heart is broken by the terrible loss I have sustained in my old friends and companions and my poor soldiers. Believe me, nothing except a battle lost can be half so melancholy as a battle won. -Sir Arthur Wellesley

I usually tell JW's to "f*** off!" works just as well as any pretend reason to get out of it. ^_^

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I usually am very friendly towards Jehova Witneses (sp?). I just say I'm not interested in a 30 minute dialogue in the cold, and I just take a flier. I almost threw a bucket of water over them one time though, they came twice in less than an hour, but I decided to behave myself.

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Today I got a call from a telemarketer, he started off by saying (just after I said hello) I'm not sure if I can help you and your family and went on to speak about security doors.

 

 

 

When I told him I wasn't interested he continued to try and sell me the doors, so I used the suggestion earlier in the thread and said "How do I know this isn't a recording?" The guy replied that if it was a recording he wouldnt be replying to me. I then realised he had beaten me so I hung up

tmpphpnppgpw.png
Today I got a call from a telemarketer, he started off by saying (just after I said hello) I'm not sure if I can help you and your family and went on to speak about security doors.

 

 

 

When I told him I wasn't interested he continued to try and sell me the doors, so I used the suggestion earlier in the thread and said "How do I know this isn't a recording?" The guy replied that if it was a recording he wouldnt be replying to me. I then realised he had beaten me so I hung up

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Owned by a tele-marketer ... now that'll deal a blow to your dignity :P

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Should've tried albosky's suggestion.

 

LOL, these people called johovaness witnesnes (or however u spell it)

 

 

 

anyway @ my house we have a MASSIVE drive way about 800m long!

 

 

 

anyway we have a sign saying "NO CARS" so they get out of their cars and walk all the way down my driveway when they get to my door their like

 

 

 

"would u be intedrested in converting"

 

 

 

and i'm like

 

 

 

"Tell me more"

 

 

 

so they are explaining all this stuff

 

 

 

and i ask them if they want a drink (they walk in)

 

 

 

i turn around acting all surpised

 

 

 

"OOOO who invited u in then!"

 

 

 

and the r sooo lost for words!

 

 

 

and i'm like leave!

 

 

 

when they're about 50m away i turn the sprinkers on THE GET TOTALY SOAKED!!!!!

 

 

 

then their in their best clothes being soaked runn up the rest 700m of our muddy driveway!!!

 

 

 

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Heheh I think thats a bit mean.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

800 metre driveway you must live near Dural or somthing like that!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What are Johova Witnesses?

 

 

LOL, these people called johovaness witnesnes (or however u spell it)

 

 

 

anyway @ my house we have a MASSIVE drive way about 800m long!

 

 

 

anyway we have a sign saying "NO CARS" so they get out of their cars and walk all the way down my driveway when they get to my door their like

 

 

 

"would u be intedrested in converting"

 

 

 

and i'm like

 

 

 

"Tell me more"

 

 

 

so they are explaining all this stuff

 

 

 

and i ask them if they want a drink (they walk in)

 

 

 

i turn around acting all surpised

 

 

 

"OOOO who invited u in then!"

 

 

 

and the r sooo lost for words!

 

 

 

and i'm like leave!

 

 

 

when they're about 50m away i turn the sprinkers on THE GET TOTALY SOAKED!!!!!

 

 

 

then their in their best clothes being soaked runn up the rest 700m of our muddy driveway!!!

 

 

 

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Heheh I think thats a bit mean.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

800 metre driveway you must live near Dural or somthing like that!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What are Johova Witnesses?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A denomination of Christianity who have a notoriety for door-knocking more than most other religious sects.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What are Johova Witnesses?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A denomination of Christianity who have a notoriety for door-knocking more than most other religious sects.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They are in no way a denomination of Christianity. Denominations don't go around trying to convert fellow denominations.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What are Johova Witnesses?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A denomination of Christianity who have a notoriety for door-knocking more than most other religious sects.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They're more of a cult.. I would never declare them to be a denomination of Christianity.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Its also inconsiderate to publicly label things as cults where people who practice it could read. (Not to mention the flame war that always comes after a comment like that)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What are Johova Witnesses?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A denomination of Christianity who have a notoriety for door-knocking more than most other religious sects.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They are in no way a denomination of Christianity. Denominations don't go around trying to convert fellow denominations..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Its also inconsiderate to publicly label things as cults where people who practice it could read. (Not to mention the flame war that always comes after a comment like that)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

edited.

Ive actually done this.

 

 

 

Reply to whatever questions they ask, in any manner you see fit. While you are answering the questions talk REALLY quietly so they press the phone against their ear and listen really hard. End the call with an ear splitting yell or scream.

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