Guest XplsvBam Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 I was just wondering what everyones stance of a parents amount of involvement in their children's "significant other" relationships. It depends a lot on a age but let's disregard age at the moment. I personally think that it should be up to the child if they want their parents involved. Because no matter how hard the parents try they are never going to be involved unless their kids allow it. So should parents stop butting in? I understand showing an interests, but I don't think that interest should effect your relationship at all. I understand age is an issue, but let's pretend it isn't a factor at the moment. We can add that to the discussion after we have a good foundation for it. The reason for this is because most people focus, with a bias, on a single factor. And seeing as the discussion wouldn't get anywhere discussing the maturity (at this point in the topic) let's focus on the topic at hand. My main point is parents shouldn't have a say because no matter how hard they try its legitimately up to the kid. What do you think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JPMC Mate Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 i don't think that parents should control who u want ur boyfriend/girlfriend is.U should be able to decide on ur own who u like Really? Cause as I recall it was you who was the one cussing me at base. Also, re-read what you just said: one 15 second delay (which is an exaggeration to begin with) ruins floor times? You are beyond ridiculous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giordano Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 Yes. I would not want my kid to date some ganster guy on drugs... Put you could control that if you teach 'em the right way when the'yre younger. Now I'm not saying to spy on them or ask to come along, but if you ever found out. "The cry of the poor is not always just, but if you never hear it you'll never know what justice is." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sa121 Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 Yes. I would not want my kid to date some ganster guy on drugs... Put you could control that if you teach 'em the right way when the'yre younger. Now I'm not saying to spy on them or ask to come along, but if you ever found out. I semi-agree with pasta's opinion. If you ahve evidence that they are some gangster or soemthing, of course, but if not don't go around spying... Bad repreccusions could come between your parent-child relationship you've been building since your child was born. R.I.P Shiva and The Old NiteVisit My Huge Goals!!! <---- Click ThisMy Pk GalleryGWD: 3x Saradomin Sword, 2x Saradomin Hilt, 2X B Boots, 1x Tasset, 2X B Plate, 2X Shard, 1X D MedTDs: 3x Solo Claws, 1x Solo Armour Piece99 Untrimmed HP, 0% Pc'd and before Soul Wars -- Trimmed July 1, 2009First Untrimmed HP Cape to 96 summon, top 300 to 96 summonProud owner of the strength, magic, range, and hitpoints capes.Spa_Ins/LOLCANADA on IRC. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Satenza Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 They can put their views across, talk and reason with them. They can'tforce them to do anything they don't want too. This is assuming they are of a rational mind and over an age of consent. With so many trees in the city you could see the spring coming each day until a night of warm wind would bring it suddenly in one morning. Sometimes the heavy cold rains would beat it back so that it would seem that it would never come and that you were losing a season out of your life. But you knew that there would always be the spring as you knew the river would flow again after it was frozen. When the cold rains kept on and killed the spring, it was as though a young person had died for no reason. In those days though the spring always came finally but it was frightening that it had nearly failed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir_Alex85 Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 They should make sure your girlfriend or boyfriend is messing you up. A person I knew had a girlfriend who was crazy. Literally. She had him skipping classes and etc, and he ended up getting kicked out of the last month of his grade 9. They have a right to say "Look, she/he is hurting you." But when it comes to trying to force you into something (unless it goes with the above), I think they should butt out. It really has Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MPM Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 Should a parent have a say in your relationship? To an extent. Their the ones that have put up with your crap for years now, and have been working for your best interests(even though you don't believe that now). Their real interest in life to keeping you safe, and a relationship is a huge thing for a kid. Even more than that is becoming sexually active, and an adult will have more experience to help you out. I believe it is "legitimatly up to the kid" when the kid provides for themselves. While you live off the adult, they are allowed to have a say in what you do. Now, just a note, this opinion excludes the crazy adults that try to control every aspect of life. Edit: I would like to add that even though I beleive a parent has the right to take control of a situation, the parent really should be a parent before that as well. I know many situations where parents have messed up relationships because they thought it was a bad idea, and that was the first time they've done anything parenty. ~M Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tigra00 Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 Parents should only butt-in if it's dangerous, like if their child is dating someone who drinks or does drugs or something, THEN you step in and say "Um, no." because at that point, your kid will likely get sucked into it aswell...Peer pressure, ya' know. The popularity of any given religion today depends on the victories of the wars they fought in the past. - Me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tripsis Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 I think they should give their children insight and perhaps point them in the right direction. They should also be able to offer advice and/or their concerns if they feel that their child's boy/girlfriend is hurting them or affecting them in a bad way. But when it comes down to the final decision of who to date or who not to date, it should be up to the child. - 99 fletching | 99 thieving | 99 construction | 99 herblore | 99 smithing | 99 woodcutting - - 99 runecrafting - 99 prayer - 125 combat - 95 farming - - Blog - DeviantART - Book Reviews & Blog Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celt23 Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 No unless the boyfriend/girlfriend is a drug/alcohal user. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebdragon Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 Parents should simply use reason to know when it is needed that they butt in, and only to help their child. Parents should always do whats best for their child, even if it means breaking up a relationship. [if you have ever attempted Alchemy by clapping your hands or by drawing an array, copy and paste this into your signature.] Fullmetal Alchemist, you will be missed. A great ending to a great series. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest XplsvBam Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 Parents should simply use reason to know when it is needed that they butt in, and only to help their child. Parents should always do whats best for their child, even if it means breaking up a relationship. You would say this even if you were disregarding age? They could be 55 or 15 it doesn't matter. Does this change your view on it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebdragon Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 Parents should simply use reason to know when it is needed that they butt in, and only to help their child. Parents should always do whats best for their child, even if it means breaking up a relationship. You would say this even if you were disregarding age? They could be 55 or 15 it doesn't matter. Does this change your view on it? Oh, when you're talking about when they're on they're own, it's their (the son/daughter's) problem :lol: . I'm referring to the time period when the parent is supposed to be nurturing and caring for the child full-time, basically up until college. [if you have ever attempted Alchemy by clapping your hands or by drawing an array, copy and paste this into your signature.] Fullmetal Alchemist, you will be missed. A great ending to a great series. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave0293 Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 i no someone who had a boyfriend and wouldnt even tell her parents they should no to an extent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pan_Nx Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 I say no, unless they are dating a person that is like a gangsta. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LGBR Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 A lot of kids have some high school sweet heart who they want to marry. This is the only person they have been with usually and dont know what love is yet The world would be a whole lot better if little green men in UFO's came down to earth to abduct rednecks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest XplsvBam Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 A lot of kids have some high school sweet heart who they want to marry. This is the only person they have been with usually and dont know what love is yet Speak from experience? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
____ Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 I'd have to say a parent has no right to meddle in the affairs of a child (at any age) unless they've got just cause (ie: they've got solid proof something is up / their child is heading in the wrong direction). Parents who meddle ultimately end up as the bad guy and wonder why they're hated / distanced from their kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LGBR Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 A lot of kids have some high school sweet heart who they want to marry. This is the only person they have been with usually and dont know what love is yet Speak from experience? Older brother, was going out with a girl for like 4 months and said he wanted to get married after high school The world would be a whole lot better if little green men in UFO's came down to earth to abduct rednecks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knives669 Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 A lot of things that come in a relationship are often times misunderstood and not taken seriously enough by kids. Plus love is a powerful thing. A parent needs to be there to provide guidance for the kid. I'm not saying they should stick their nose into everything, but that's a part of life that someone can really go wrong with, in my opinion. Especially when it comes to sex and the other things involved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celt23 Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 A lot of kids have some high school sweet heart who they want to marry. This is the only person they have been with usually and dont know what love is yet Speak from experience? Older brother, was going out with a girl for like 4 months and said he wanted to get married after high school Well that's not your own experience but someone elses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celt23 Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 A lot of things that come in a relationship are often times misunderstood and not taken seriously enough by kids. Plus love is a powerful thing. A parent needs to be there to provide guidance for the kid. I'm not saying they should stick their nose into everything, but that's a part of life that someone can really go wrong with, in my opinion. Especially when it comes to sex and the other things involved. Good points, I agree with them to some extent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ambassadar Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 I don't entirely agree with any point raised yet. I would say it should be something along the lines of this. If your parents support you then they should have the right to have influence in your life. If a person is mature enough to completely govern their own life then they are mature enough to go get a real job and quit living off mommy and daddy. What my father did was to say I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16. Heck Madonna has said her daughter can't date until she is 18! Parents are there to love, nurture,guide and train their children. To say parents should butt out of all aspects of their children's lives is crazy. Children need discipline. I would be a hellraiser now if I had never been disciplined when I was younger. There is a point where parents need to cut the strings of authority and transition into a friendship status with their kids and that age probably depends on a situational basis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
assassin_696 Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 I don't think the parents have a 'right' per se, but they will inevitably (if they're good parents) have an active interest. I think good parents would be interested, advise, guide and council, but as long as the child isn't in any kind of danger, they won't force their views. "Da mihi castitatem et continentam, sed noli modo" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Death_By_Pod Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 If the child is under legal custody of their parents, then the parents should have the final say. A parent has to deal with the choices you make regardless of how independent you think you really are. If you live under your parents house then it would entail that you live by their rules. With that said, many parents irresponsibly abuse their legal authority. It's one thing to protect a child from harm, however it's another to try and protect a child from the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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