BlackDawn

Good news and bad news, chaps. Good news, my suicidal friend lives. He's calmed down and is feeling much better... Alright, so he's still feeling upset but for now he lives. Bad news? I'm getting heavily attracted to a girl on my college course, who already has a boyfriend. I don't know her boyfriend, so that makes it less bad, but it still irritates me. I get on really well with this girl, and it's rather annoying to know nothing can happen.

Ok guys, it isn't me who needs help, it's my friend. At the moment I don't care if this is in the right or wrong thread so yeah. I've known this guy for quite some time, (Online, never met him irl.) He's very unconfident and suffers from heavy depression. He's been suicidal in the past, having self harmed multiple times after bad events happened in his life. I've done my best speaking with him to calm him down, but now I'm really worried. Here is out latest msn conversation. Right now I don't care if it breaks his privacy, seeing as I'm freakin' worried as hell. [hide]Ryan says: Hai buddy George says: Ohai. Ryan says: how are you? George says: Not bad thanks, yourself? Ryan says: ok, this random stunning fit goth girl came up to me today and just hugged me first hug in 3 years George says: Why'd she hug you?? Ryan says: I dunno man she just smiled and hugged me felt really happy made my day George says: Epic. Ryan says: ^^ her boobs pressed up agaisnt me ^^ George says: =[] *Jealousy level rises* Ryan says: ^^ swear she felt my but as well lol dont have a clue who she is George says: You're [bleep]ing luckyyyyy. Ryan says: dont know her name or what she looked like, she had her head down George says: Ryan says: love gothy looking girls George says: Yeah, they're cute. Ryan says: dark hair <3 for me the hair either has to be really dark, or white, dont like blonde girls dunno why just dont like that colour of hair on girls lol George says: WHITE HAIR! <3<3 Ryan says: yeah man <3 George says: I saw about three or four white haired girls at college today. Ryan says: oh yeah, : ) hows your course going for you btw dude George says: I was like since I'll never meet them. Not bad thanks. Ryan says: i just dont have the confidence if i did id try to make conversation George says: Mmmm. It's not really the idea of rejection that scares me. It's the knowledge they'd think "Who the [bleep] is this and why is he speaking to me?" Ryan says: same i just find gothy/emo girlies alot more well nicer personalitys, cant stand chavy girls on my bus its like me my mate, and the rest are chavs pisses me off cause i get so many comments, like goth dude, fat guy etc George says: Chavs suck. Ryan says: yup now if an emo girl sucked well thats a different story George says: Plus what's bad with being goth or emo or anything? NOTHING. Ryan says: exactly ^^ id say im more goth than emo lol George says: Stereotype = Fail. Tbh, I'm probably classed as nerd. Though I'm probably more emo. Ryan says: hmm outcast alot for me. proberly. George says: I don't seem emo, I just have motional issue.s That nobody knows of. >.> emotional. * Ryan says: dude..i forgot what it was like to be hugged George says: I've NEVER been hugged. Ryan says: *man hug* George says: *man hug* NO HOMO! Ryan says: lol you know whats happened to alex? havnt seen or heard from the dude in ages George says: No clue. =/ Ryan says: you reackon hes ok? George says: I hope so. Ryan says: wuu2 George says: Typing up a roleplay for my clans forums. Ryan says: kool havnt been on rs in an age George says: Name changing is out. Ryan says: yeah, my dad said George says: Ryan says: you changed your name? George says: Yup. I'm now "Icylic" Ryan says: cool could change mine i guess to .. pie of fruit George says: Ryan says: or zezima1231231 George says: Ryan says: or sell my rs accounts 0_0 George says: Ryan says: still cant write man.. miss her so much George says: That's alright. Take as long as you need, like I said. Ryan says: think my writing style is going to change dramitcly.. she was kept me going writing and livin George says: =/ Ryan says: ... know she was in americas but..loved her .. pafetic i am George says: No, you're not pathetic. Ryan says: my fualt shes dead.. George says: No it isn't!! Ryan says: it is ! we were arugeing and i shouted! she left to go outside for a walk! ..and now shes dead.. George says: NOT YOUR FAULT GODAMNIT!!! SHE WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO THINK IT'S YOUR FAULT EITHER!! Ryan says: .. stped infrnt of a truck today.. to kill myself.. thought i could be with her that way.. .. a teacher pulled me out of the way George says: Godamnit Ryan! Stop it now!! You have a [bleep]ing great life! You shouldn't try and throw it all away because you lost someone dear to you!! By all means mourn for her, but don't try and kill yourself, nor should you blame yourself! IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!!! Ryan says: but if i kill myself ill be with her! George says: WOULD SHE REALLY [bleep]ING WANT THAT?!?! YOU THROW AWAY YOUR OWN LIFE BECAUSE OF HER?! HOW WOULD SHE [bleep]ING FEEL UPON YOU SEEING HER AGAIN?! Ryan says: ... i dunno.. just want to see her again.. i know we only saw each other on cam, and talked through mic and text... just ..id be with her.. George says: (Damnit this next thing sounds cheesy) She's always with you. You have your memories with her, which are priceless. Throwing away your life so young is a complete waste, and I want to punch you just for thinking about it. Loss is a [bleep]ing horrible thing to go through, I know, but killing yourself is both cowardly and stupid. Killing yourself because you lost someone is no excuse. If you ever saw them again in the afterlife (If it exists... Im an atheist) how would it make them feel? Like [cabbage], that;s what. You wasted your lfie so young just cause you wanted to see her. Ryan says: i dunno what to do man.. i dunno what to do..how to cope.. George says: I'm telling you this as a concerned friend. Mourn, then move on. Never completly. Always keep your memories in your mind, but move on all the same. Dwelling on the loss of her won't help. She would want you to mvoe on. Ryan says: alexy.. George says: Always remember her, but don't ever blame yourself for what happened. Perhaps once a year should you mourn again, just a day to remember her by. But don't dwell on the past. Just move on, enjoy life, and don't throw it away. Ryan says: i dunno if i know how too George says: It's hard, I know. But take it in baby steps. Ryan says: dont tell anyone man but..been crying most nights.. George says: That's normal when grieving. Ryan says: .. been self harming too.. George says: Now that's where I say to stop. Now. Ryan says: *looks up* George says: SELF HARMING DOESN'T [bleep]ING HELP!!!!! If anything it makes you feel worse! Ryan says: if youc ould see me now man.. you would proberly punch me in the face George says: ... Put on your webcam... You stopped sharing photos Starting a Video Call with Ryan ... End call (Alt+Q) Your computer does not have a sound card, or a sound card is not selected. Ryan says: one sec Ryan accepted your Video Call. End call (Alt+Q). Ryan says: your cam on? George says: Yes. Your Video Call has ended. Starting a Video Call with Ryan ... End call (Alt+Q) Your computer does not have a sound card, or a sound card is not selected. Ryan is inviting you to start viewing webcam. Do you want to Accept (Alt+C) or Decline (Alt+D) the invitation? You have accepted the invitation to start viewing webcam. Ryan is not answering. Ryan is inviting you to start sending webcam. Do you want to Accept (Alt+C) or Decline (Alt+D) the invitation? You have accepted the invitation to start sending webcam. George says: Put it down. NOW. Christ man. Ryan says: dude..what do i do George says: First of all, put it down, and put it somewhere away form yourself. Ryan says: what abpot this 1.. George says: All of them. Ryan says: done.. George says: Good. Now, you need to start thinking clearly. Ryan says: i ..cant George says: Yes you can. I understand how bad you must feel, but you can't sink so low. Not long ago you were telling me you were feeling good after a cute goth girl hugged you. Hold onto happy thoughts, happy memories, happy times. Ryan says: i want alexy.. in my memories..want to be with her George says: I know what you want, but we can't have what we want all of the time. Whose to say you'll see her upon killing yourself? The webcam session has ended. The webcam session has ended. Ryan says: i dunno... we were going to meet in a year...and jump together.. George says: Godamnit man... Ryan says: im gonna go.. George says: I had BETTER see you again. Ryan says: necks really hurting.. tried strangling myself on cam.. George says: Goddamnit Ryan... Ryan says: just want to be with her! feels like my hearts been ripped out and stabed.. all i can think of his her! ...and now shes gone because of me.. George says: IT'S NOT [bleep]ING YOUR FAULT!!!!!! Ryan says: it is! if we didnt of aruged she woudnt of gone out got raped and then died in hospital! its all my [bleep]ing fualt! George says: No, it really isn't. I;m no professional but I say you're blaming yourself as a way of coping. IT'S. NOT. YOUR. FAULT. Look, in all truth I have no idea what you're going through. I've never been in your position before. Ryan says: it is! [bleep] this! im gonna end it! George says: NO YOU [bleep]ING DON'T!!! DON'T [bleep]ING RUN OUT ON EVERYONE WHEN THE GOING GETS TOGUH!!!!! HOW IS IT [bleep]ING FAIR TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW?! HUH?! WHAT IF THEY START FEELING IT'S THEIR FAULT?! THE PAIN OF LOSS IS HORRIBLE! BUT THIS DOESN'T [bleep]IGN HELP!!! [bleep]ING ANSWER ME!!!!! RYAN!@!@[/hide] I apologize for the page stretching but I couldn't find the hide tag thing. If someone could point me to it for future purposes that'd be good. Yeah, read for yourself. I'm worried to hell and back. (I'm George, he's Ryan.) On webcam he was holding a knife, he was crying, and I saw fresh cuts. Goddamnit... I'm lost as to what I should do.

MEP2 was HELL for me. I expected it to be overhyped, like underground pass, but of course it turned out to be the most difficult quest I have ever done. Underground pass I actually enjoyed, despite being terrified when I started it. Hell, I can openly say Underground Pass was one of my favourite quests.

Seems like a quick chuckle, but will probably get annoying as the day goes on. Besides, ninjas > pirates.

Lemme think... I suppose my English teacher in year 9 was pretty awesome. She was hot, and loved to joke around with us all. (Some of the jokes could be a bit offensive, but that was what was awesome.)

...Purple eyes? nah, the light got in my eyes or something idk. Damn. If you had purple eyes I would think you were the most awesome person ever. Nice picture either way, very pretty.

Throughout the holidays I've been going to bed between 1-2 and waking between 9-11. Though, seeing as I start college in two days I'll be going to sleep later... Actually, no I won't. I just have to wake earlier.

I'll probably change my name to my rl first name. I think it would be awesome to see NPC's calling me by my real name, makes things seem more interesting.

I make the odd post once in a while, there's just nothing for me to reply to, seeing as we've more or less discussed zombies to hell and back.

This could do with a bump, seeing as L4D2 draws ever closer. Also, any xbox L4Ders want to play? Gamertag is "BlackDawn Ninja"

Sir, I believe this calls for fisticuffs. You say you were making fun of us for believing a zombie infection could happen? How is it not possible? Tell me that. Zombie could definitely happen, and that is why this thread was created. We have planned and prepared for a long time because we believe that this will happen one day. Think about it. Sure, the chances of a zombie infection are slim, but still possible. We want to be prepared to survive, and save our loved ones. Viruses mutate, and this fact alone is enough to prove zombies could happen. Who knows what a virus will mutate into? Like the "Rage" zombies, rabies could mutate into a much stronger version of it. You think we're stupid for planning this, but you're the one who will be torn to shreds when the apocalypse hits. For insulting us, you will not be a part of the team, and nor are you welcome here any longer. Leave now zombie supporter, else we shall crush your skull with our mighty crowbars. The TZDF will rise, and the undead will be annihilated. Good day to you sir.

Amusing? I don't see how, seeing as one day they will come, and that thread will be the new survival guide. With all of the best posts picked for parts, of course.

What you're confusing is the "before point X..." point. Before point X, your attack lvl will determine most of your dpm. After point X, your strength will determine your dpm. Before you meet irl (physical meeting, phone, etc), you can't call the person a boyfriend/girlfriend. After you meet them, you still can't call them boyfriend/girlfriend, but you can say you're dating them. After point Y, which is when you know the person's soul, you can pretty much say you have a healthy relationship. It's not just the internet, really. Slightly more than 50% of all couples divorce. Why? Because those people didn't know each other and said they were "soul mates". By George (never thought I'd use that one), you don't have to be on the internet to have a phail relationship. Likewise, you don't have to meet someone originally irl to have a good relationship. If they didn't, sites like eharmony wouldn't flourish. We'd be saying the same thing if you were on eharmony and never took that step further and contacted the person. No contact = no relationship. Good point, although as I said I was a fair bit younger then now, and my mind wants to stick to the fact I enjoyed time spent with her. My own logic is horribly flawed, but I stick by my opinions. Are you using that as the saying? Or did you somehow know my name? :? I do have REAL LIFE friends, and I don't have a RuneScape girlfriend. I did, like I said, but I was younger, and a bit more foolish. Though, if I did tell my friends, I think they would have been fine with it. Hell, I know one of them would support me fully.

And so would everything else so that is actually worse. Ah who needs any of it anyway. Besides, it would eventually recover In a few millennia, life would have to start over, everything would have to evolve again. That sounds somewhat depressing, yet interesting. Can we put Horatio to the test? Forcing him through evolution from the beginning? That would certainly make him think better of killing us all.

Whining and RuneScape go together like green eggs and ham, which is surprisingly well. If you don't like whining don't play, or if you can take it, don't complain. 'Cause this sounds a lot like whining to me.

Some people may know this already, seeing as I posted it on another thread a while back. But I once had a girlfriend I met on RuneScape. It wasn't one of those idiotic things you see in Lumbridge with the kids going "Press 111 for hot gf" and crap. I met her in a friends clan, and knew her for about 1-1 and a half years before I started liking her. Admittingly, it was doomed to fail, seeing as we were both too young to actually keep the relationship going by meeting irl. We were too young for our parents to approve, that we both knew for fact. Still, we 'Dated' for about six months on RuneScape, and Msn. I'm not afraid to say this, simply because I enjoyed the time we spent 'together'. I knew that she was a girl, seeing as we spoke on the phone a few times. Which was more then enough proof for me. Nowadays I still think it was a real relationship, whether we met in person or not. We both wanted to meet, but we simply couldn't. If it had happened when I was older, such as now, then I think it would have worked. Yeah, they might not be who they say they are, I'll agree completly with that. But the key word is 'might'. Sometimes they can be telling the truth, and that's a chance I can willingly take if I was ever in the situation again. To those who are so damn set on being against this, well, I have nothing to say to you. Think what you want, really. If you haven't been in a similar situation, well, you can't really understand what it's like. I also know of a few other friends on my list who have met up, and are now living together. Hell, two of them have even had a kid. (Thing is, I introduced them to one another about a month after I started playing. They never forgot. :))

Today I picked up my GCSE exam results. I didn't do bad, so I'm happy. Though I missed dinner, so right now I'm hungry and sad. :(

Took me over an hour to find someone who knew what I was talking about. :lol: Even if it's been done by others, it's still entertaining.

I suppose I'd accept it, although my family would likely try and evacuate us to somewhere 'safe'. I wouldn't go with them, I'd just wander the streets, watching as people go insane. Or maybe I'd sit down on the sea shore and watch as it all ends, perhaps with a few good friends. Just so we can have a laugh before we die. Killing spree really isn't my thing, I'd prefer to enjoy my last few hours.

That might be how it works in America, but in England it doesn't go like that. I've honestly never seen someone start talking to a complete stranger off the street. I DO plan on going out more, even if it's just a walk. Hell, I'm gonna try and go tomorrow. Although there are few places I can actually walk to. I expected someone to say wait for college. It was pretty much my only option anyway. Although, I really don't think anything to do with gaming should be on my mind when I work on my social skills. Even if you used it as an example, it just doesn't seem like a good idea. My sense of humour is rather good already, seeing as I can make people laugh quite easily. My charm may need some work, ect. But yeah, thanks to you both for the replies.

First of all, thanks for replying. Yes, I have been diagnosed with Aspergers. That is one thing that is concrete. Making friends has always been an issue for me, the only ones I ever managed to get were those from school. But seeing as I've finished school that isn't an option. Although, I begin college in a few weeks, so that could be a chance. As for the alcohol, I promised myself I'd never drink. I hate the stuff anyway. We don't really have shopping malls around here, all we have is a few shops people get stuff from, then leave. You just don't talk to strangers around here, if you do, you're considered weird and the ones you're speaking to will simply walk off. Honestly though, I've heard all that 'act cocky, confident, hot [wagon]' stuff all the time. It makes it no easier. Believe me, I've tried getting into mindframes like that, but I can just never manage it. I'm NOT the sort of person who will act incredibly confident around complete strangers. I can act completly fine around friends, but not strangers.

Alright guys, god knows how long I've been putting off posting this, but yeah, I need some help. First of all, a bit of basic information about me. I'm 16, I live in England, and I'm depressed. I have been depressed for over a year now and it feels like [cabbage]. The depression has mostly been brought on by loneliness, which I find is getting worse every day. Hell, it hurts. Really badly. I want to find a nice girl to be with, so I can stop feeling so bad. I have a number of problems though. First of all, I know NO girls at all who I am attracted to. Plus I have very few female friends to begin with, most of which I can't get in contact with anyway. Following on from the last sentence, most of my friends all live huge distances from me, and therefore we can't really meet up to 'hang out'. So I'm pretty much alone in both friendship and relationship standards. I have big issues with going on buses alone, this being a part of a disorder I have. (Aspergers syndrome, if you need to know. This also effects my social skills, making things much more difficult for me). So this is another irritating problem. There is nowhere in my city where I can go to meet girls. Too young for things like clubs, pubs, and things like that. You'd think I should join a club that involves something I enjoy, but I have no idea how to even begin finding one. Plus I have very few active interests. As you may have previously guessed, I'm quite shy, and really have no idea how I'd even start a conversation if I ever DID find a girl. I'm NOT going to go up to a random cute girl on the street and start talking to her. All I've done this summer was sit here at the computer, gaming away my life. And I hate it. Please, I really need help.

I never got that chicken. :cry:

Depends why you cried.... I was just a little depressed and couldn't hold it in.